Constant Bearing, Decreasing Range
by beegurl13
Summary: Two consenting adults. One wants more. What happens when the other doesn't, and never will? Is there such thing as true love in the real world? And will they see what's coming before it's too late? E/B, AH, M. For The Twilight 25 Round 6 Challenge
1. Chapter 1 Airport

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #1 – Airport  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a love of realism and angst, and the need to merge them whenever I possibly can. :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**Today is my girl _kitkat681_'s birthday. I lurve her stories. I LURVE her. Check her out…she's kind of amazing. I hope your day is wonderful, Sweets! Love you!**

**This story has been rolling around in my head for a while. I figured _The Twilight 25_ would be a good way to make me get it out. I hope you enjoy it. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Constant Bearing, Decreasing Range (CBDR)**

_**Sailing Term. Definition - Implication of disaster: ships may collide: a problem or an obstacle which is heading your way. Often used in the sense of a warning, as in "watch out for this problem you might not see coming." **_

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 1**

**~*0*~ Airport ~*0*~**

I stare at the ceiling as he hovers over me. He's trying his best, panting and moaning, pushing and thrusting, but it doesn't matter. My heart isn't in it anymore. I wonder if it really ever has been. He wasn't anything serious or long term, just someone to pass the time with. He was good for that, at least, and usually he was good at getting me off, but not tonight. Tonight my head is somewhere else, a thousand miles or so north.

"Baby, you feel so good. You're gonna miss this," he whispers in my ear as he sinks into me again, harder and faster this time.

His brown hair is wet from perspiration, which isn't unexpected. It's already over 100 degrees here, even though it's only April. I'm just glad that if I'm leaving Arizona, it's in the spring. At least that means Washington won't be freezing.

His fingers slide down to my clit, pushing and circling it. It feels good, and for just a moment I let go of my plans for tomorrow and I meet his mouth with mine. It's hard to deny the hunger between us, and I dig my nails into his back, pulling him down onto me.

"Oh, Bella, that's it baby, let go," he groans, pushing faster and faster, his hips pounding against mine, the muscles in his back flexing and twisting under my fingers. My lips graze his neck, sucking his skin between my teeth as I feel the familiar burn in my stomach. When his fingers wrap around my nipple, I give in, arching my back toward him as I let out a scream—the heat of my orgasm consuming my body. I feel it in my toes that curl, my hands that clench, my mouth that hangs open in the air. A few more thrusts and he's cursing under his breath, his mouth against my ear. Hot breath huffs through my hair, and he stills, then falls on top of me.

"Damn, baby, what am I gonna do without you here? You're gonna visit, right?" he asks between labored breaths.

"You know I will," I say. I won't, I know it and I think he probably does, too, but neither of us is admitting it. "Anything's possible."

We lay side by side for another hour or so, just feeling each other and letting our bodies say goodbye.

"You sure you have to go?" he whispers. When my eyes meet his, I can see the sadness he has over my leaving. It's not like I'm excited about going, though I am looking forward to a change. No one wants to have to go home because of a sick parent, but that's the hand I was dealt.

"My dad's sick, we've been over this. He needs my help, babe. Rose can only run one bar at a time, and with all the medical bills he's got, he can't afford to shut down one of them. Especially not now, with the fishing season about to start."

My dad lives in a tiny little town in northwest Washington. He owns a bar there, which my cousin Rosalie pretty much runs for him. He has another bar in a port town about half an hour away. Clallam Bay. It isn't much, though the population grows to about fifty times the normal size when fishing season starts. I know my dad needs the money that lonely fishermen are willing to spend, and when he asked for my help, I couldn't say no.

"Maybe I can come with you. It's not too late for me to look for a transfer," he says.

I look him square in the eyes. "No, we already talked about this. Your job is here, and I need this time with my dad. I'll see you when I come back, which you know I will. My mom's still here, so..."

He smiles, a dimple denting his cheek. "Promise?" he asks.

Nodding, I lean forward and place a kiss on his lips, letting my tongue peek out and tangle with his.

"I promise, Eric. I'll be back."

I knew it was a lie the second it left my mouth, but I said it anyway, and I let him believe it. He'd figure it out soon enough.

~*0*~

Mid April isn't a horrible time of year. Lucky for me, the airport isn't too busy. It was good planning on my part to avoid a holiday weekend, and I mentally pat myself on the back as I move through the terminal to my gate. Only at the airport would people not look at me weird for carrying a heavy winter jacket. After all, it's ten in the morning and already nearly ninety degrees outside. If I'd walked down the street like this, people would be laughing aloud, or thinking I was crazy. Maybe I am crazy, considering what I'm giving up to help my dad, and where I'll be spending the next phase of my life. My mom thinks I'm insane, but then again, that's just because she made it out of that town by the skin of her teeth, or so she says. My father has always been there, and he always will be, which is why my mom ran when she did.

My childhood was fine, a little lonely, but overall pretty decent. I had my mom and grandma, and that was all I needed. A few times a year my dad would come visit, or I would go see him in the summer. I always loved that, because Rosalie was there. She was my one and only cousin, and lucky for me, she was just a year older than I was. We had always gotten along great, even when she shot up almost a foot one year and filled out enough to look like a swimsuit model. All the boys in Forks were after Rose, which meant our first real teenage summer consisted of her fighting off every jock in town, while their not-quite-good-enough friends pretended to like me so that they could get closer to her. She was always on my side, which I appreciated, setting them straight and letting them know just what jerks they were. It wasn't until a few years later, when I was in college, that I truly came into my own, and boys finally started to like me for me.

As I wait for my plane, I buy a cookie and a map book. It's been so long since I've seen much of Washington, and I know I'll need something to do on my days off work. There are only so many books I'll be able to read as I crash at my dad's house or hide in the storage room above the bar between shifts. Rose filled me in on the schedule, so I know I'll be working The Bay bar while she stays in Forks and runs things there. Even though it's only a half hour drive between the two towns, gas being the price it is will limit my ability to travel much. Plus, I'll be in the old truck my dad bought me the summer after I turned sixteen. I'm shocked it still runs, but apparently...it does. It almost makes me wish I was driving from Arizona to Washington, but since my mom wrecked her car and needs mine, I'm outta luck.

The flight is long, but good, with a lay over in San Francisco. I don't leave the airport, so it's not like I really get to see any of the city. Landing in Seattle, I'm assaulted immediately by the humidity, which I'm not used to. Lucky for me, Rose is there waiting, and she grabs me as soon as I'm within arm range.

"Bella! I'm so excited you're here! I can't wait, we're gonna have so much fun!" she says. I know she's excited, because her voice raises about two levels higher than normal.

We grab my bags from the carousel, then start toward the doors. Most of my belongings were mailed in boxes a few days earlier, and Rose tells me that they'll be arriving in the next day or two. I'm glad, knowing that if nothing else, I'll still be surrounded by some of my favorite things.

"Oh Bella, you have to meet Emmett! He's so amazing. I don't know if you remember him or not, he's kind of new to town."

My mind races over faces, matching up names, but there's no Emmett that I can recall.

"I don't think I know him, do I?" I ask, placing a suitcase in the open trunk of Rose's car.

"Maybe not, he moved here a few years ago. He and his sister came from Kentucky, so he's got this little accent. Hot damn, Bella, he's incredible!"

It's then that I notice the sparkler on her left ring finger.

"Shut Up!" I yell, grabbing her hand and holding it to my face. "You're engaged?" I ask, unable to believe what I'm seeing. The forever wild Rosalie Hale is engaged?

"Can you believe it?" she squeals, jumping up and down. "He just asked me a few weeks ago. We're in no rush, but ugh, Bella...I love him." The smile on her face tells me she means it, which is good, since she apparently just promised to spend the rest of her life with this man. "A lot of things have changed, Bella. A lot. But don't worry, you'll see."

I smile back at her, wondering what she's talking about, but I'll know soon enough.

The long ride to Forks is filled with chatter—Rose telling me about Forks, all her old friends, my dad's health, and the bars.

"I remember hiding under the bar ledge when we were little," I say. "I wonder how many times my dad spilled liquor on us?" Rose let's out a laugh, and then I do, too.

"If child welfare services had ever come and checked on us, I swear they would have thought we were ten year old winos, for as much as we smelled like a brewery," she says, her hair whipping in the wind as she giggles and laughs.

It's easy being with her. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not. Rose accepts me, quirks and all, and for the first time in what feels like years, I let my guard down. This may not be where I thought life would take me, but now that I'm here among the tall pines and constant rain, I'm excited. It feels like something's coming—something big—and even though my stomach's in knots over it, I think it's what's meant to be for me. It will either make my life, or break my heart. At the moment, I'm not sure which, though if I'm being honest, it doesn't feel like it's a good thing.

I suppose time will tell, but for now, I'm on course with no plans to deviate from my route.

~*0*~

We pull up to my father's house, and immediately I see some of the changes that Rose must have been talking about. For one thing, the house that was always white is now brown, and the rose bushes my mother planted before I was born are gone. The truck I remember my dad last driving is not here, but there's a newer model in its place. He must have upgraded at some point. Maybe I would have known if I'd come back to visit sooner.

I look around the side of the house for my truck, but it's not here. He may have parked it in the garage, but that's highly doubtful. Rose just sighs and in a sing song voice begins to hum a tune, followed by lyrics I'd recognize anywhere.

"Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...Turn and face the strain, ch-ch-changes, pretty soon now you're gonna get a little older..."

My mom loves David Bowie. It's sick, really, but I've heard this song far too many times in my life. As Rose slams her door and makes her way to the trunk to start pulling out my luggage, I climb out of the car. Standing up and looking at the neighborhood around me, I can't help softly singing to myself, "Time may change me, but I can't trace time..." It's true. Time did change me, and it seems things here are different, too. Maybe that's the weird feeling in my gut. Maybe it's just that things are different, they've changed. Maybe it's something more. Whatever it is, I think I'll be powerless to it. I just have a feeling.

The front door opens and in the doorway stands my dad, looking thinner than he was last time I saw him. His smile is just as bright, though, and I can't help but run to him. The fact that he may not survive his condition is something I've never let myself think. At least not until this very moment. Grief instantly overwhelms me, and I hug him as soon as I reach him.

"Hey, Bells. Good to see ya, hun."

"Hi Daddy," I say, my face buried in his chest.

"You have a good trip?"

I nod, hoping that's answer enough.

"Well, she's here, and in one piece. I guess I'll see you two tomorrow then?" Rose says, after dropping my bags on the sidewalk near me.

"You're not staying?" I ask, turning to look at her but unwilling to let go of my dad.

"Nah, all this father-daughter bonding stuff is too mushy for me. Plus, someone's gotta run the bar that earns the money to pay for all this," she says, swooshing her hands in big circles in front of her.

"But I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yep, Uncle Charlie here thought it would be good for us to go over some stuff before he turns you loose in Clallam Bay. He figured he'd at least try to give you a running start at managing the place." She smiles, knowing I'm in for a big adjustment. I've never run anything on my own. This could be a really bad idea.

"Okay, tomorrow then. Thanks, Rose," I say, letting go of my dad and turning to hug her once more.

"Anytime."

Once she's gone, and my dad and I have brought my bags in, we sit down in the kitchen, eating some sandwiches that he's put together for us.

"So, where's my truck?" I ask, wondering where he's hidden the beast.

"Oh, that. Well, it wasn't runnin' too well, and this kid off the rez asked about it. He said it was a classic or something, wanted to restore it, so I sold it to him."

My eyes pop open. "What? Dad, what am I gonna drive while I'm here?"

"Oh, well that little SUV out there, I got you that. I think it'll be good. It's got four wheel drive and new tires, and it runs pretty smooth. I just had the engine tuned up and-"

I jump up, running to the living room window. The car is parked on the street in front of the house. I hadn't even noticed it when Rose and I pulled up, but it's nice. Way nicer than my dad can afford.

"Dad, how much did that cost you? I know it wasn't cheap, and with your medications and stuff, you can't afford that."

"Well, that kid paid me a good amount for the truck, and I had a little set aside. It's no biggie, Bells. I wanna make sure you're safe driving back and forth all the time. You know those roads can be a little dangerous, especially in the winter time."

"Dad..."

He grins a bit. "Oh, and remember that storage room above the bar? That one you used to play in when you were little?"

I remember the dusty space. It always seemed so enchanting and mysterious, and Rose and I spent hours and hours playing in it during the summers while my dad and her mom worked. "Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

"Well, I had it converted into an apartment for you. You can live there, although I hope you'll still come home and visit your old dad sometimes."

"What?"

"I just figured there's no reason for you to be driving out there and back every day, you might as well have some place to stay. And at least it's not in those apartments that Mrs. Cope runs. You know, the ones where the seasonal deckhands live. This will be safe and it's got everything you need. I even put in a satellite and internet, so it'll be just like home."

I smile at him. "Thanks, Dad. That's really nice of you."

He twists his coffee mug around in his hands a bit, avoiding my eyes. "It's the least I can do. I mean, you gave up your whole life to come help me. You're an adult now and I don't want you feeling like you have to live at home with your dad. You need some freedom and your own place. I'm just sorry I don't have something nicer for you."

Moving away from the window, I hug him again. "Dad, a new car and a new apartment? That's more than I ever imagined. It's wonderful. And then to throw in satellite TV and internet? Next you're gonna tell me it's got indoor plumbing, too."

"Oh yeah, well." He smiles at me. "Nothing's too good for my Bells."

I laugh, and in that moment I know I've made the right decision in coming here. No matter what that feeling might be, this is right.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: You ready? It's gonna be a bumpy ride…not gonna lie. But My Girlies love the idea of this and the storyline, so I hope you will too. :) There's a banner for this on my fanfic Facebook account – Beegurl OneThree FanFickee.**


	2. Chapter 2 High School

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #13 – High School  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an ability to have migraine's when it's the very least convenient moment ever. Ugh...I hate that.**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure,_ and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**Today is my girl _RoseArcadia_'s birthday. I love her. She's always been so wonderful to me, and she made the best GIF ever for my story _Worship_ last fall. I'm hoping maybe if I can make this story hot enough that she'll make me another one, using a REALLY hot clip we found in a music video by the singer Robyn. Dang...it's hot. :D I linked it on my Facebook, if you wanna see for yourself. :D Anyway, Happy Birthday Rose! :)**

**No Edward yet, but soon... :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 2 **

**~*0*~ High School ~*0*~**

Everything is different. My dad's house is different. My old bedroom is different. Down town Forks is different. Even the bar is different. My dad always loved the bar in Forks, it was his baby for years and years. Walking into it now, I can tell that he hasn't played much of a part in it for awhile. It's got things only women would think of, and I like it. I can see that Rose cares about it, and that makes me feel good about the changes. I can see on my dad's face that it makes him happy, too.

The afternoon is spent going over invoices, inventory spreadsheets, employee payroll, order forms, and about a hundred other papers and notices and worksheets. As Rose rambles on about balancing weekly reports and making sure employee work hours are less than some number she pulled out of her head, I'm reminded of why I majored in English in college.

"Bella, you getting this?" she asks, for the tenth time in the last five minutes.

"Yes, Rose, I got it. Besides, if I have any questions, I can call you, right?"

She sighs. "Yeah, I guess. But Bella, I swear, you better not screw this up. I can't be driving back and forth to Clallam Bay all day. I need some time with Emmett, especially in the evenings."

"So when am I gonna meet this guy? I'm leaving tomorrow morning, so..."

"I thought we could hang out tonight, if that works for you. The school's track team just finished their season, so he doesn't have to work late."

I realize I haven't asked what Emmett does. Not that it's important, but I am a little curious.

"Oh, he teaches History at the high school, and he coaches a few of their sports teams. He played football in college, so he's the football coach, but the track team didn't have anyone, and it was more money for him, so he took it." Rose bounces the pen in her hand, hitting the top of the desk with each down stroke. "He loved it. He's thinking of helping with the basketball team next year. They could use it, that's for sure."

"He sounds cool, I can't wait to meet him," I say, straightening some of the papers that are covering the desk.

"I think Alice, his sister, is coming too. I hope that's okay."

"Sure," I mutter, sensing a break in the onslaught of bar-running information, and I'm determined to make a get away.

"Bella... Fine, I'll let you go for now, but on your first day off, we're going over this again. You know you'll be calling me by tomorrow afternoon!" she yells after me as I hurry through the office door.

"Yeah, whatever! See you tonight!" With that, I'm gone, climbing into my new little SUV and heading back toward my dad's house. I'm anxious to get to Clallam Bay, not so much because of the job I'll be doing, but to be on my own. Plus, I really want to see the apartment my dad put together. He says it's furnished, and has everything I need. I can't wait to see it all myself. Living above the bar may be a little noisy on my nights off, but for the most part, it will be kind of perfect. I'm going to be running the bar, so why not live right there, in case there are any problems? Besides, I know all about the apartments Mrs. Cope rents out. I don't want any part of those.

There are several fishing seasons in Washington, but the one that seems to overtake Clallam Bay is about six months long. Salmon is the big money maker in our little port, and it employs the vast majority of the tiny town, in one way or another. For six months, the streets are crawling with fishermen, deckhands, captains, and wildlife officials from the state. Then, when the season closes, things die down. Only the few year round residents stick it out, and the occasional shellfish or crab boats that dock in Clallam Bay. During the off season, it's cheaper to get space here than in some of the larger ports. A lot of crews that are just starting out make the trek inland and tie off in Clallam Bay, even though it's quite a bit out of the way for most of them.

The big employer in the town is the fish plant. They buy all the fish and crab that are harvested, processing them and shipping them all over the world. It's a good job, if you can get it. Mrs. Cope's husband used to run the plant, which is why she starting renting out apartments to the season workers. Ninety nine percent of the people working the boats are men, and I know the things that go on in those apartments. My father used to warn Rose and I every year to stay away from them. It always seemed that about three or four months after the season was over, we would find out that some poor local girl was pregnant by a seasonal fisherman. Most of the girls never saw the baby's father again. A lot of girls who couldn't get out of Forks or Port Angeles would head down to Clallam Bay for the season, hoping to snag themselves a man. A few did, but the majority of them just got experience in a bed, prescriptions for their newly acquired diseases, and a baby or two. Most fisherman didn't stick around long in one place. I knew that.

When Rose shows up at my father's house, I'm anxious and ready for a night out. The season hasn't started yet, which is a good thing for me, but I know Clallam Bay isn't going to be a party. Or at least not the kind of party I'll be looking for.

"Bella, this is Emmett," Rose says, gesturing to the man standing behind her. He's tall, with very wide shoulders that would be rather intimidating, except that there's a smile on his face that assures me I have nothing to worry about.

"Hey, Bella. Nice to meet you. Rose never stops talking about you," he laughs.

"None of it's true, I promise you," I say.

He laughs louder. "Oh no, all good things. Plus, I know that whatever she tells me you did, she probably did ten times worse."

Smiling, I nod. "Yeah, now that's true."

"Hey!" Rose says, but she smiles. She knows it's true, too.

We climb into Emmett's jeep and head out of town, to Port Angeles. "Alice was working today, so she's just gonna meet us at the club," Rose says.

"Alice is my sister. She lives here in Forks with me, but she works part time in a flower shop in Port Angeles. She's doing some training, the employer wants to open a shop here and have Alice run it for her," Emmett says.

"Oh, cool." I watch the pines fly past us, remembering this same trip from years ago. Somehow the forest looks the same, which is comforting, since everything else is so different.

Alice is nice. We hit it off, talking and laughing and drinking a lot. I was always somewhat of a lush in college, drinking until whatever guy I was with looked good enough to take home. I had a lot of one night stands that way. Thankfully, I don't remember most of them. Not that I'm a slut or anything, but I've been around, and I know what I like.

"Jasper's coming into town next month," Alice says.

"Who's Jasper?" I ask.

"That's her boyfriend. Well, her boyfriend during the season," Rose says, smiling at Alice. I get the sense she's teasing her a bit, though I don't know why.

"That's nice. He's a fisherman, I take it?"

Alice nods. "Yeah, he fishes on his friend's boat. He's been coming with him the last few years, and we met two years ago. He's wonderful, and he's so hot!"

Alice is drunk, and flirting with every man within ten feet of us. I can tell it upsets Emmett a little bit, but he tries to focus on Rose, who does a great job of distracting him.

"You wanna dance?" I turn and see a cute blonde standing behind me. Nodding, I grab my glass, down the brown liquid in it, and hop off my stool. The music is loud and I can barely hear him, but between songs I manage to get that his name is Mike and he's an accountant. His parents own some kind of store in the area, and he works for the fish plant. He smiles a lot, and his eyes are crystal blue. The more we dance, the more I realize it's probably a good thing I'm going home with Rose and Emmett, otherwise I'd be tangled up with this guy before the night was over.

"Can I call you sometime?" he asks as I'm getting ready to leave.

"Sure, but it might be easier to just find me. I'll be running the bar in Clallam Bay as of tomorrow."

He smiles. "I'll find you, don't worry."

As we make our way out of the bar, Alice decides to leave her car there and pick it up in a couple of days. It's parked a few blocks away at the flower shop, so she knows it'll be fine. Sitting next to her in the back seat, she leans over to me and lays her head on my shoulder.

"You're really hot," she says. I laugh, wondering just how drunk she is. I'm also curious about how much she likes the word "hot" since I've heard her say it about a hundred times tonight. "Jasper's really hot, too. If I didn't have him, I'd totally be hitting on you right now."

My eyes go wide. She'd hit on me? I let out a deep breath. Interesting. I mean, yeah, I had some good times with other girls in college, usually at the urging of the guys we were with, but it's been awhile, and even though Alice is cute, she's not the type I'd typically go for. I like boobs, what can I say? They can be kinda fun to play with.

"Thanks, Alice. That's nice."

"Mhmm. Jasper will be here soon. I can't wait. I need to get laid like there's no tomorrow."

"Alice, shut up!" Emmett yells from the front seat. "I told you, no more of that sex talk from you. I don't care if you're twenty three years old, you're still my little sister and I don't want to hear about you having sex with anyone."

Alice laughs. "Sorry, Em. I'll make sure to keep Jasper away from you when he gets here. I wouldn't want you to see all the dirty things I plan to do to that man."

With that, Emmett cranks up the stereo, drowning out Alice's drunken ramblings. It makes me laugh, and I feel good. It's nice having friends to hang out with. That wasn't something I expected to find here. It's a welcome surprise.

Alice gets sleepier the longer we drive, her hand steadily creeping up my thigh as she continues to lean against me. "Oh, Bella, when Jasper gets here, you should meet his friend. He owns the boat they fish on. He's so gorgeous, but not my type. You'd like him, though. I just know it."

"Oh yeah, who is he?"

"His name's Edward, and he's hot."

_Edward_, I think to myself as Alice starts to snore. Why does that name make my stomach feel funny?

~*0*~

I next morning I remember why I quit drinking so much. My head pounds as I down a few pills and a bagel. My boxes have finally arrived, and after loading them up in the back of my SUV, I'm ready to head out. One quick stop by the bar to pick up a few things for Clallam Bay, and I'll be off.

"Hey Rose," I call out.

"Looks like the walking dead," she says, laughing my the sunglasses I still have covering my eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. I had fun, that's all that matters."

She snickers. "I'll say. I'm glad you had fun. Emmett said Alice was really feeling it this morning, but he hid her headache medicine. I think he's mad about all her sex talk last night."

"What's with her, anyway? She was flirting with every guy at the club, but she's got a boyfriend?" I really liked Alice, but she was confusing, to say the least.

"She and Jasper have been seeing each other over the past two seasons. He's only here for four months, so while he's gone, she plays around, but when he's here, everything is Jasper this and Jasper that. It's sickening, really."

"He doesn't mind her playing around while he's gone?" I ask. Most men I've dated were so overbearing, always wanting to know who I was with and what I was doing. I always felt smothered by them.

"Nah, he does the same thing. You know sailors, about ninety five percent of them are that way. They can't be tied down. You know this, Bella."

I nod, agreeing with her. I do know it, but it was still strange, all the same.

"Good luck with things. Remember, you can call me if you need anything, but please, for the love of all that's holy, don't call me during my Emmett time. Otherwise you're liable to hear some very dirty things going on. You know you don't want that." Rose quirks an eyebrow at me, letting me know she's serious. I assure her I will only call during daylight hours, unless it's an emergency.

After hugging her and grabbing the last few things I need, I leave town, bound for Clallam Bay and my new life.

~*0*~

The bar looks the same from the outside, as does the rest of the town. Things never change here, which is somewhat comforting. The season hasn't started quite yet, so there's no one in the bar when I walk through the doors. I know all of the staff members, but don't really remember them. One girl, Leah, is the daughter of my dad's friend. She's one of the local girls who got knocked up by a sailor, then never saw him again. She's a few years older than me, and when I was younger, I always thought she was the most beautiful, exotic woman I'd ever seen.

Leah's brother Seth helps out in the off season, but during fishing season, he works the boats. He makes a lot more money that way, which helps pay for their dad's medical care. Since the heart attack, their father Harry needs a lot more things. Local guys, for the most part, know to stay away from fishing and the dangers it brings, but sometimes the money is too much of a temptation, and once they get a taste of the fishing life, they rarely go back to jobs on land.

A middle aged guy, Felix, works the bar, too. He's single, though I don't know why. The fact that he has no family waiting for him at home is good for me, since he's usually always available to work anytime, and at a moments notice. He's the one standing behind the counter when I walk in, and it's most likely been about ten years since I've seen him.

"Well, if it isn't little Belly Boo. How are ya, sweet cheeks?" he calls out, a huge smile on his face. It makes me feel at home, and after greeting him and letting him know I'll be in at some point during the afternoon, I begin to unload all of my belongings, getting them into my new apartment.

The old storage room has been completely transformed, and I'm speechless when I open the door and get my first glimpse of it. It's not huge, by any means, but it has a living room, a full kitchen, a bathroom, and a bedroom with a walk in closet. I could potentially live here for years and years, though that thought is a little unnerving. There's more than enough room for two people, but who in their right mind would want to share this space with me? Glancing out the window at the few people who are walking down the street, I sigh. I'm most likely in for a long, lonely year. Or life, since I don't know that I'll ever get out of Clallam Bay now.

~*0*~

**A/N: You seem to be liking this so far. I loved all of your reviews for the first chapter. :)**

**FYI – there are 25 chapters in this story. That's how the_ Twilight 25_ thing works. I can't say for sure whether or not it's a HEA. I mean, where would the fun be in that? But if you know my stories, you know how I roll. :)**

**See you next chapter for some hottie Fishermanward action. :) I think it'll be good...**


	3. Chapter 3 Cafe

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #5 – Cafe  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a hubby who's embarrassed at the thought of driving the car I want to buy. Hmmmm, so it seems that when he said "The car we get will be for you," what he REALLY meant is "The car will be for you, but I'll be driving it back and forth to work every day, so too bad, so sad, Babe." Nice, huh? :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**I don't know of any birthday's today. Darn it. :D**

**Little note about this story. Several of you are concerned that Edward and Bella are going to be sluts in this. Not so. I'm trying to write them as realistic adult people, and have them doing things that people their ages would do in real life, if they were in the same situations that E&B are in. Edward, especially, is very up front with Bella about things, but you'll see more on that as we go.**

**Now, I know you've been waiting. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 3 **

**~*0*~ Cafe ~*0*~**

My first few weeks working at the bar go great. There are a few little mishaps here and there, but I only end up calling Rose a handful of times. Lucky for me, it's never during her Emmett time. I try to make it back to Forks at least once a week to see my dad and Rose, and I've even had lunch with Alice a time or two. Things seem to be falling into place for me, and there's even the prospect of a date on the horizon.

Mike, the cute blonde from the club in Port Angeles, finds me a week or so after we meet. He walks into the bar one afternoon, orders a drink, and proceeds to talk to me for the rest of the evening. It was nice. He's smart and funny, and rather sweet. I know I should like him, and I genuinely do, but somewhere in the back of my mind I keep wondering if he'll be enough.

Alice shows up one Tuesday morning, practically bouncing off the walls of the bar.

"What's your deal?" I ask, wondering what is going on with her.

"Jasper comes in today. Oh Bella, I can't wait to see him! I got waxed and bought new underwear and everything."

"Alice, seriously? Is your relationship just about sex, or what?" I really hope, for her sake, that it's not.

"Bella, please. I haven't seen him in eight months. I haven't had a proper fuck in almost five months. I'm getting laid tonight."

She parks herself at a table in front of a window, staring down toward the docks. Around noon there's a loud squeal, and in a blur, she's gone.

"I guess Jasper's here," I tell Leah. She laughs with me, though I can see a hint of sadness in her eyes. I wonder if she even remembers the face of the man who fathered her son. I wonder if she remembers his name. I wonder if she'll ever see him again.

The lunch rush picks up and Leah and I are swamped all afternoon. The off season crowd is typically handled with just one bartender, but pre-season and post season need two, and from what I've been told, during the busiest part of the fishing season, we usually need three people working. Tonight it's just Leah and I, until Felix comes in around ten. I've been working all day, and since I have to be up and in Forks bright and early tomorrow, I'm not staying all night.

"Hey Bella," I hear, looking over to see Mike sitting down on a stool at the bar.

"Hey Mike, what's up? What can I get ya?" I ask.

"I'll have a Rum and Coke, thanks."

I make up the drink and slide the glass to him. "No charge. You know the first one's always on me." Smiling at him, I wonder how long he's gonna wait before he asks me out. I really need to get laid. My toy is only good for so long, and then I need a man.

We manage some small talk throughout the evening, but then at the height of the rush, I hear someone new calling out to me.

"Hang on," I say, facing away from the customers as I try to clean off the counter top of the back bar. "What can I get ya?" I ask, turning to look at the guy waiting for me. What I find stops me cold.

A man is standing there. He's tall, at least six feet, and his shoulders are wide. He's wearing a baseball hat, but I can tell his hair is kind of long, since it's sticking out over his ears a little bit. He's toned, like ridiculously toned, but not too bulky, and I can't help but stare at his arms and the muscles that bend and slope where the sleeves of his T-shirt end. As my eyes continue up, I notice his angled jaw, the scruff that's covering it, and two lips that are a pink color I didn't know even existed in nature. His nose is long and pointed, but with a hint of misalignment, like maybe he broke it when he was younger. His eyes are dark under the brim of his hat, but they seem to sparkle, and when he blinks, I can see how long his eye lashes are. Everything about this man screams sex, and all thoughts that had previously been in my head vanish. All that's left is him, and I know I'll never be able to hide it from him. He'll read me like an open book.

He smirks a little at me, before leaning his arm down on the counter and shifting closer to me. Instantly, I can smell his cologne, and with just the scent of him, I'm drunker than I've been off any alcohol I've consumed in the past few weeks. His teeth are white and in perfect rows, and I have to mentally stop myself from leaping over the counter, pushing him to the ground, and fucking him while everyone in the bar watches.

"Can I get three shots of Tequila and three bottles of beer?" he asks.

"Huh?" I manage to mumble.

He smiles brighter, almost flirtatiously. Yeah right, like he'd flirt with me. "Three shots of Tequila and three beers in bottles."

He looks like the kind of guy who gets what he wants just by smiling and winking. I can see how girls might drop their panties for him, and I'm sure by the self confidence rolling off of him, plenty of women have.

"What kind of beer?" I ask, listing off the different types we have.

"Bud is fine, for all three of them."

I pop open his bottles, pour the shots, and push them toward him. "You want this delivered to a table?"

"Nah, I got it."

I take his money and watch as he picks up the bottles and glasses with ease, then turns and heads to a table in the corner. There are two other men sitting at it, and for the next hour or so, my eyes continually return to them. Plenty of the women in the bar have made their way past the table, but so far, none of them have managed to get a seat.

With the night coming to a close, I notice Mike still sitting at the counter. He continues to nurse the third drink he ordered tonight, appearing to be a little nervous about something. I really hope he's not sick. That's the one part of this job I'm not looking forward to. Puke. No, thank you.

"So, Bella," Mike says over the quickly dwindling crowd and the 80's power ballad playing on the jukebox.

"Yep, Mike?" I reply, with a smile as I stock some glasses and napkins.

"I was wondering if maybe sometime you wanted to go out, like on a date." He stares into his drink, refusing to meet my eyes. In that moment I know...he'll never be enough for me.

"Oh Mike, that's sweet of you to ask." He may not be ideal boyfriend material, but his hands and feet are decently sized, so I'm pretty sure he's not lacking in the cock department. And like I said, I need sex with something other than my rubber, motorized boyfriend who lives in my drawer. "I was thinking that-"

"Hey baby, you ready to go?" I hear from behind me, as two arms slide around my waist, pulling me against a hard chest. I can't see who it is, but the scent of him overwhelms me and I know it's the man from the corner table. I look up toward where he was sitting, seeing that he and his friends are gone, so this must be him. But what's he doing? Maybe he's drunk and lost. I'm just about to say something when I feel his mouth on my neck. His teeth are scrapping against my skin, while his tongue slides back and forth, leaving a wet trail on my goose bumped flesh. My eyes glaze over.

He's not supposed to be here, back behind the counter with me. I don't even know how I missed him walking around the opening at the end of the bar top, but I did. It doesn't escape my thoughts that maybe he's not supposed to be here at all. Not just behind the counter, but also with me. It's just too bad that I don't even care one little bit. His body feels too good against mine.

"Um, yeah," is all I can say.

Mike looks up, first at me, and then at him.

"Cullen," he says with a flat voice.

The head lifts from my neck. "Oh hey, Newton. How's it going? You still working at the plant? Crunching numbers, right?"

Mike swallows and looks back down to his glass. "Yeah, accounting."

"Cool. Well, if you'll excuse me Mike, me and my girl were just heading out. We got a lot of catching up to do, don't we baby?" He tightens his arms around my waist, rubbing his nose along the shell of my ear.

My body tingles from his touch, and I can think of nothing more to say than, "Uh huh."

Mike smiles at me, downs the rest of his drink, then leaves with a wave.

I stand there completely stunned for a few moments, then let out a deep breath. "What was that for?" I ask, turning around to look into the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen.

"You just looked like you wanted to get rid of him," the cocky stranger says.

"Well, getting rid of him might be a little harsh, though I was hoping to get off on him tonight, but you ruined that, so whatever." I turn and move toward the cash register, pushing some buttons that will start my pre-closing total sales counts.

"You need to get off, huh? Well I could help you with that."

"I don't even know you." I turn to look at him, hoping he'll give me some answers as to who he is.

He steps closer to me. "But you wanna get to know me, don't you?" he whispers in my ear. When I don't respond, he speaks again. "There's a cafe a couple blocks over. Come out with me, talk to me, get to know me. You won't be sorry, I promise you that."

How can I possibly say no to him? Before I fully debate over what I'm doing, my apron is in the wash bin, and I'm hurrying out the door behind the most beautiful man I've ever seen in real life. Felix is here, so I know the bar is safe, but damn it, I need a break. Even if it's just to go grab some diner food.

We walk out of the bar and into the parking lot, side by side, but not touching in any way. It's like we're testing each other.

"I don't have a car, since I'm only here a few months a year," he says. "Plus, if I need to go into a city, I can just take my boat over to Port Angeles. I do it all the time," he says.

"That's okay, I like to walk."

We walk slowly over to the cafe, keeping up a light and pleasant conversation. He asks how I like Clallam Bay, how I like the weather, and if I've made any friends yet. Once we're seated inside, we order some food, then stare at each other.

"I have a confession to make," he says. Oh no, good conversations rarely start with that kind of comment.

"Okay."

"I know who you are. Alice told me, and even though I've been in your bar more times then I can count, tonight was the first time I was really looking forward to it."

"Alice told you about me? So that means you work with Jasper?" Things are starting to fall into place, and all I know is that if this is Edward, I'll kiss Alice, or anything else she wants me to do.

He smiles, grabbing a french fry off his plate and dipping it into the ketchup next to it. "Yeah, something like that."

"Something like that... What does that mean, exactly?"

His eyes meet mine, and I feel my internal organs begin to heat up. This isn't good. I don't even know this man, and yet he has complete control over me. I know I have to find a way to keep him from figuring that out, but I have no idea how to do that. I've never encountered something this powerful before.

"Yes, I work with Jasper. Actually, he works for me. I own the boat we fish from."

Alice... I love her.

"So, you're Edward?"

His eyes widen a bit when I say his name. He's obviously a little surprised, though he tries hard to hide it.

"You know about me, too, huh? Alice doesn't waste time, that's for sure," he says with a chuckle as he shoves a few fries into his mouth.

"I don't know anything about you, just that your name is Edward and she thought we should meet. She said you're hot and that she knew I'd like you."

He watches me as he continues to chew, then swallow. "And do you? Like me?"

I smile just a bit. "I don't know yet. But I like what I see so far."

~*0*~

Several hours pass and before I know it, my watch says three seventeen in the morning. We leave the cafe, with Edward asking me where I live, and if he can walk me home, or back to the bar so I can get my car.

"I actually live above the bar. My dad had an apartment built there for me, so we can just go there."

"That's nice, convenient." His hands are deep in his jean pockets, his shoulders drawn up as he nods.

"Yeah, I guess. It was nice of him to do, to give me a little space."

"Why didn't you just get a room from Mrs. Cope?" he asks, kicking a rock on the sidewalk.

I laugh. "Seriously? Are there any single women living there? It's just deckhands and workers, plus everyone knows what goes on there."

He's quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I guess. So, you've never been there?"

"My cousin Rose and I went once when we were teenagers. We met some guys and went back to their room with them. Nothing happened, we just watched a movie, but I think they were a little disappointed. Well, disappointed that they didn't get to mess around with Rose, anyway. I don't think they cared much about me. I was just a tag-a-long."

"Why wouldn't they care about you?"

His voice is so sincere. He seems so interested. He's good...

"Believe it or not, I wasn't always the appealing and irresistible woman you see before you now," I say, with a laugh. "I was kind of awkward, and she was...not. Rose is more like a swimsuit model or something."

"I've seen her. She used to work the bar here sometimes. I know her."

When Edward mentions knowing who she is, my mind starts to wander. I'm curious how well he knows her, especially since before Emmett showed up, I know Rose got around quite a bit. And why not? She had her pick of men.

"Yeah, so you know." I decide then and there that the next time I see Rose, I'm asking her everything she knows about Edward Cullen.

The bar gets closer and closer, and soon enough, we're standing in front of the door, and I've got keys dangling in my hand.

"Thanks for this, it was nice," I tell him, glancing up to look at his face. He's smiling at me, standing a few feet away.

"Yeah, it was. It's not often that I meet someone I can hold an intelligent conversation with. This was different...but, good."

"Thanks, I think."

Nervously, I play with the keys, hoping maybe if I stall long enough, he'll kiss me. But he doesn't move, he just stands there waiting on me. Maybe me being different isn't such a good thing to him, and he's anxious for me to go inside and let him off the hook. I let out a sigh.

"Well, I guess I should go in. Thanks again," I say, turning to push the key into the lock. From the corner of my eye, I see him shift.

"Um, I'm shipping out tomorrow, our first fishing trip of the season, but I'll be back next week. I just was wondering if maybe you'd wanna go out or something."

Looking back at him, I can see warring emotions on his face. On one hand, he's very confident. His posture tells me that much. On the other hand, his fingers are now jammed into his back pockets, causing his shoulders to scrunch up. That makes me think he's nervous. But the way he's staring at me—the hungry look in his eyes—tells me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wants me. Maybe not forever, but for now. And for me, that's enough.

"Okay, I wanna go out."

He smiles a little, his head tilting to the side. "I'll come by when I get back?" he says, though it's more of a question. He's asking if it's okay for him to come by.

"Yeah, absolutely."

With smiles and a little wave, I open the door and step inside. He stays firmly planted on the door step, watching me closely as I push the door closed.

"Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Bella."

I let out a breath, drink in the sight of him for a few more seconds, and then slowly close the door. The lock turns as my mind begins to race, and I lean against the door, thinking quickly over the whole night. My life has changed completely in just a few hours, and the knot in my stomach tells me that this is most certainly the thing I knew was coming.

Just as I'm about to step away from the door, there's a soft knock on it. It startles me, but I carefully open it, peeking out and seeing Edward. His smile is gone, and he's leaning toward the door, his eyes searching out mine.

"Hey..."

He clears his throat. "I forgot something."

"Oh," I say, opening the door wider. "What?"

"This," he says, pushing the door open as he steps toward me. In less than a second, his hands are in my hair, his mouth on mine, and it feels so perfect and right. His lips are soft, yet forceful. He knows what he's doing, as he sucks and nips and moves against me. We stumble backward a bit, my hands reaching out to grab on to something. Before I know it, he's pinned me against the other door and his tongue is pushing into my mouth. I let out a moan, which only serves to spur him on, and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

We kiss and kiss and kiss, feeling frantic and needy and perfect. His lips move to my throat as his hand moves to my waist, then my hip, and finally my leg. When his palm comes into contact with the exposed skin on my thigh, I feel a jolt of heat flow through me. I've never felt anything like it before, and it makes me pull him closer. My shorts aren't too short, but his fingers tuck under the edge of them, lifting my leg and hitching it over his hip. I tighten my hold around his neck and pull myself up, lifting my other leg before finally wrapping them both around his waist.

"Bella," he mumbles as I grind against him. I can feel how hard he is, and I wish so much that we were naked so I could take him into me. His hands move under my ass and he lifts me, shifting us so that my face is higher than his. His mouth kisses all over my collar bones and down to my chest. It feels amazing and so, so right. It's like every other sexual experience in my life before has just been in preparation for this moment. I can't remember any other man I've ever been with, not their faces or their names. Suddenly, all I see is Edward, and I know that from here on out, he's all I'll ever want again.

As his lips and tongue begin to move lower down my chest, shifting the neck of my shirt to the side, I feel him still. He's breathing so hard, his chest heaving up and down, but he's stopping.

"What's wrong? Don't stop," I beg, twisting my fingers in his hair, trying to urge him on.

"Are you sure?" he asks, looking up at me. His eyes are so bright and alive. I can see how hard this is for him, this stopping shit that he's doing. But I don't want to stop. I want him here and now and in whatever manner I can get.

I nod my head. "Yes, so much. Please, more." I fuse my mouth to his again, letting my tongue slide against his lips, then his teeth, and then his tongue. My body pushes closer to his and I can tell the moment he feels the heat coming from me.

"Fuck, Bella, you're so beautiful," he mumbles against my lips.

His hand slides around from my back and eagerly rubs my stomach until his fingers find flesh. Faster than I can even comprehend, my shirt is up and over my head, thrown in haste to the floor. Edward spies the front closure on my bra, and with a few tugs, it's open and my hardened nipples are bared for him.

"Fuuuuuuck," he hisses before his mouth dips even lower and his wet lips wrap around my breast. My hands tighten in his hair, holding him tight to me as I continue to rock my pelvis against his.

It's hot and sweaty between us, the air turning humid from desire. I swiftly drop my legs from around his waist, only to hear a distinctive growl at my actions.

"Off, get these off," I whisper, pawing at the button and zipper on my shorts. Edward seems to know exactly what I want, and his hands move in unison with mine. I push my shorts and panties over my hips just as he's pushing his own jeans half way down his thighs and revealing the hardness I've been grinding against.

It seems like a condom appears from nowhere, but I'm not complaining as I watch him slide it onto himself in the darkness of the room. There's not much light, just enough that I can see him and the bar across the room. It's at this moment that I really hope no one else is in here. That would be awkward. But almost as soon as I can start to think that, I feel his hands under my arms as he lifts me back into place. My legs rise, wrapping around him, and suddenly he's right there. He's right where I want him most.

"Ready?" he asks quietly. Though his voice is soft, it's filled with determination and confidence. He wants this as much as I do, and with that thought, I push my feet into his ass and pull him toward me.

"Yes," I moan as he slides into me, and he feels so right. He's not overly large, I've had bigger, but he fills me and fits me and I love the slight ache he causes.

His hands dig into my hips and he starts to pull and push me, up and down, back and forth, as he moves with me. The feeling is incredible, and while it's not the best sex I've ever had, it's amazing and exactly what I need. It's almost as if after this, I'll never want any other man again. I don't know what it is about him that makes me feel this way, but there's something. And it's powerful.

After a few moments, I hear his grunting and gasping get a bit louder, just as his moves get more forceful and deeper.

"Bella, baby," he groans, his mouth hovering over my chest before he pulls away a little and I lean back against the door. This gives me more control and I'm able to put some effort into my movements. "Yeah, that's it. I'm so close."

I want to make him come. I want to watch him fall into ecstasy, see him come undone by my hand. It's the only thought in my head, and I can tell the instant it happens. His brow furrows in the dim light and his muscles tense as he pounds harder and harder into me. I let him ride out his orgasm, continuing to move until he stops and lets out a few deep breaths.

When we're still, he looks into my eyes, his face only inches from mine.

"You didn't finish yet, did you?" he asks.

"No, but it's okay." It's not really, but he's not the first guy to leave me high and dry.

"No, it's not."

He pulls back from me, letting my legs fall and my feet hit the floor. His mouth is on mine again, and soon his hand is covering my pussy, his fingers circling my clit. It makes me whimper and shake, and moments later his fingers are pushing into me as his thumb continues to rub against me.

"You like that, baby? You like me finger fucking you like this? You want my tongue there, don't you? Tell me, Bella. Tell me how bad you want me."

"Oh please, I want you, please," I chant, my words getting lost in the hot room around us.

"Next time I'm gonna tongue fuck you so good, you'll be coming all over my face. You like that, don't you? You dirty, naughty girl. You want my tongue deep inside you, Bella. Say it."

The thought of a next time with Edward makes my head spin, and before I can manage a reply, my stomach muscles are coiling and I'm crying out in response to him. My orgasm hits me so hard and so fast, it almost takes me by surprise. A few moments later I feel him move his hand, and he kisses me. It's soft and long and full of desire.

He leans back and stares at me for several seconds, like he's looking for something in my eyes. Suddenly, he moves forward and puts his lips on my neck, sucking my skin hard and deep into his mouth. I can feel his teeth biting into me, and it hurts so good. I moan, shifting in his arms and rubbing myself against his still semi hard cock.

When he lets go, he looks at me. "That's in case that prick Newton comes around again. That's for him, and every other fucker in this town."

I don't know what he means by his statement, but I don't argue. I don't want Mike or anyone else—not now, or any time in the future, so it doesn't matter to me. Edward can mark me in any way he wants, and I'll happily let him.

"It's late and I should go, but I'll see you next week, okay?" he says in my ear. I nod, not able to form any words.

With a few quick movements, he's dressed and handing me my clothes.

"Bye, Bella. It was nice to meet you." He smiles before placing one last kiss on my forehead.

And then he's leaving.

He steps away from me and walks out the door, never once looking back. My whole body is on fire, and I try to control my breaths as I stand in the open door, clutching my clothes in front of me as I watch him walk across the parking lot. I can see the outline of his face in the moonlight, and it's so even, content. He doesn't seem overcome with lust, like I know I am. He doesn't seem blissful, like I know I am. He doesn't seem angry or bored either, he's more serene and almost vacant. It's as though what we just did was another run of the mill night for him, and something he does quite frequently. I hope it's not, but by the look on his face and the way he carries himself, I'm probably nothing special.

Once he disappears into the darkness, I close and lock the door, before fumbling up the staircase and into my apartment. Falling onto my bed, my fingers move up to trace the hickey I know is there. I can already feel the pinch of it under my skin, and for a moment I wonder how I'll keep Rose from seeing it.

My eyelids grow heavier as I lay here in the darkness, thinking about Edward Cullen and wondering if he's thinking about me. As I close my eyes, the last thought I have before sleep over takes me is what he said to me. "You're so beautiful."

I wonder if he means it.

~*0*~

**A/N: Oh yeah, they just totally did the deed up against the door on the night they met. :D But really, can you blame Bella? Fishermanward is HOT! :D And he's confident and sexy and sweet. I'm sure he has no trouble with the ladies. :D**

**See you next chapter...with more Alice time. :)**


	4. Chapter 4 Garage

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #10 – Garage  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a garden that grew zucchini for me to eat. It was yummy. :) There may be pics Thursday (garden picture day) on my FB account if you wanna see how green our thumbs are. :D Heck, even I'm in shock that the garden is actually growing! :D  
**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**I'm kinda surprised. Looks like you all like lemons. And pretty wild ones, at that. That's a good thing, 'cause these two have a few tricks up their sleeves. You just might like what's coming up. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 4**

**~*0*~ Garage ~*0*~**

Morning comes early. Earlier than I'm ready for, anyway. As I look in the mirror, I instantly spot the large purplish brown mark on my neck. _ A hickey_. It's so high school-ish, but because it's from Edward, and it reminds me of the look in his eyes right before he gave it to me, I like it. I know there's no way I can drive into Forks and see Rose or my dad. I'll have to find a way to stall our meeting for a few days.

After telling Rose that I've got a bit of a cold and should probably stay in for the next day or two, I spend all morning sitting in front of my window, watching the docks. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm looking for Edward. I wonder about his boat, what it looks like. I wonder how big his crew is. I really want to see him lifting something heavy, or carrying something onto his boat, but the docks are literally crawling with men. I watch until most of the boats have left the harbor, never seeing Edward.

How does this man have such a hold over me? And after only one day? I grab my laptop and play for a few hours before finally throwing on a T-shirt and decorative scarf and making my way down to the bar. I'm on shift for the evening again, though hopefully things will be a little slower since so many men have shipped out today.

Leah looks at me for a few seconds before turning away and laughing.

"What?" I ask.

"A scarf, Bella? Really? Oh shit, woman, here," she says, grabbing her purse from inside the back cupboard and handing me a tube of make up from it.

"It's that obvious?" I ask.

She smiles. "Well, to me it is. After all, you left here last night with Edward Cullen. Though, I must say either you had him really preoccupied or else he's getting sloppy, because Edward never leaves hickeys where people can see them."

I let this information roll around in my head for a moment, thinking of all the places he most likely leaves them. "Good to know."

"Bella, be careful. Trust me, he's not gonna settle down, not for anyone. I know him, believe me...I know him."

"What do you mean?" I ask, watching her closely. Has she been with Edward? I'm beginning to wonder just how many women in town Edward's been with before me.

"Nothing. It's just...he never hooks up with the same girl for more than a few weeks. Don't get your heart set on changing him, because in a few months, when his time is up, he'll leave, and you'll be heartbroken."

I know she's speaking from experience, and she has the son at home to prove it.

"Leah, can you just not say anything about this? I mean, if anyone asks? I don't want people knowing what happened, okay?"

She smiles as she nods. "Sure thing. My lips are sealed. Now, just get some of the make up on your neck and lose the scarf. You look ridiculous."

Leah's a good person and a good friend. I'm glad I have her helping me, especially since Rose calls right after I finish dabbing the make up on my hickey. I figure if Mike shows up, I'll rub it off, but since Rose is making a special trip out to see me, I'd better leave it on.

"I thought you were sick," she says as she's walking into the bar. It's been a couple of hours since she called, letting me know she was bringing some supplies and stuff for me from my dad.

"I'm feeling a little better. I think it's just my body trying to acclimate to the weather or something, you know? Anyway, I know Leah needs the help and I can sleep in tomorrow, so it's fine."

Rose pulls me into the back room, going over a few things. Once she's done, she looks me up and down. I start to panic because I think she knows.

"Have you met anyone interesting yet?" she asks, her arms crossed over her chest.

"No, why?" I decide playing dumb is my best bet for the moment.

"Just wondered if that guy from the club ever came by."

A sigh automatically leaves my body and I smile a bit. "Yeah, Mike. He came by a couple weeks ago, and he keeps coming in. He hasn't asked me out yet, but I think he's going to one of these days."

She doesn't need to know that he already did, and that I didn't exactly accept. She also doesn't need to know who I've been thinking about all day.

"Good, he's a good one. A man with a real job. You don't wanna get mixed up with these sailors, Bells. Trust me, they're bad news. You want a man who's stable and can give you things, like a home and children and a life. Not someone who's married to the ocean and his job. Keep that in mind when all these guys come walking in, telling you their hurricane stories, okay?"

I smile. "Don't worry, Rose. I know what I'm doing."

She seems happy, and after a while, she leaves, and I can finally breathe again. She can't know about Edward and me. I need to make sure she never finds out.

~*0*~

A few days later, and about five days until Edward's return, Alice calls, inviting me to dinner. After agreeing to meet her in Beaver, I spend the rest of the afternoon arranging the stock room, rotating product, and organizing the office filing system. For some reason I'm not surprised when I find pictures I drew for my dad and aunt when I was nine years old. They were placed randomly through the filing cabinet, and each one makes me smile a little bit. I kind of hope that maybe my dad saved them there on purpose, and when I'm done getting all the folders straightened out, I make a special one for the drawings and put them in the back. It's kind of like my little secret. I seem to be getting quite a few of those.

Beaver is a small town along the highway between Forks and Port Angeles. It's a good half way point for Alice and I to meet at, especially since she's on her way home from training at the flower shop. When I pull into the place she told me to go, I'm a little curious. It looks like a mechanic's garage, not a restaurant. Soon enough, she pulls up and drives her car right up to the open garage door.

"Hang on, Bella!" she yells as she runs into the building. A few minutes later she emerges. "Thanks, Marcus is gonna change my oil while we eat. He's the best around. Plus, he does it for me for free," she whispers. "We went out a few times, we fucked a few more times, and now? Free oil changes for Alice. Everybody wins, you know?" she laughs.

This girl never fails to shock me. I like it, it's refreshing.

"So where are we eating?" I ask.

"Oh, right down here. It's this little restaurant, and they have the best lasagna in the world! You'll love it!"

She's right, the food is amazing, and it's just this little mom and pop place. I never would have seen it if it hadn't of been for her, but it's good, and I know I'll stop in again soon.

"Alice, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something," I say, nervous about how to approach the topic we need to discuss.

"What?" Her eyes are wide, so I know she's curious.

"Um, I met Edward."

"You did? Why didn't you say anything? Didn't you like him?" Her face scrunches up, like she's done something wrong, or just eaten a very sour lemon.

"No, I do like him. That's my problem."

"Bella, he's a nice guy, I promise. Don't worry about all the stuff that people say. All those women are just jealous because they had him once and now he doesn't want them again. That's all it is."

My fork drops, clanking on my plate. "What?"

She furrows her brow, tilting her head to the side. "What?"

"What are you talking about? How many other women? I mean, I assume he's gotten around a little, but, how much?"

She flicks her hand in front of me. "Oh, not that much, it's no biggie. I mean, he's been fishing here for like...six seasons, and there aren't that many women in town, so I'm sure he's gotten to know most of them by now."

That thought makes my stomach twist. I want him for me, no one else. If he doesn't have to share me, then I'm not sharing him, either.

"Okay, well, whatever. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about." I look her dead in the eye, hoping she'll see how serious I am. "Alice, you can not tell Rose that I'm seeing Edward. Ever, okay?"

She laughs. "Oh please, Bella. Give me a little credit, here. Like I'd ever tell Rose that you were dating a sailor. I don't have a death wish, geez."

I breathe out in relief. "Okay, thanks. It's just that Rose doesn't approve of sailors and I really don't want her getting on me about it. Edward and I are just having fun, and I'm a big girl. I know it's nothing serious, and that's fine, but Rose will make it into this huge thing, and I really don't want her to scare him off."

"Don't worry, Bella. Your secret's safe with me."

"Thanks, Alice."

She might be weird and a little trippy, but I like Alice a lot. I hope that maybe once the fishing season is over, I'll get to spend more time in Forks and see her more often.

She's quiet for a moment, then she pushes her plate away and looks up at me. "How much do you know about Rose's life after high school?" she asks. Her question surprises me.

"I don't know much, why? I mean, we kept in touch, but I was in college and so was she, so we didn't see each other that often. Just holidays and stuff, I guess."

"Well, I'm not supposed to know this, but Emmett talked to me about it last year. He was kinda freaked out and didn't know what to do. You can't say anything ever, okay? Swear to me?"

I can see how serious she is, and to be honest, she's scaring me.

"Yeah, of course. What is it?"

"Well, Emmett told me that when Rose was eighteen, the year after high school, she worked at the bar in Clallam Bay. She wasn't old enough to serve liquor, but she could do everything else."

I knew Rose had worked in the bars on and off while going to high school and college, but I was always under the impression that she worked mainly in Forks.

"I guess she met a guy, Royce something. Emmett didn't remember his last name, but he was working on a boat out of San Francisco. His dad was some big banker or something, but he was trying to branch out on his own. Anyway, he kinda swept Rose off her feet, telling her that he loved her and wanted to marry her, that he was going to move to Seattle and start his own boating business. Rose fell hard for him." Alice's face is so sad as she's telling me this, and it breaks my heart that Rose never mentioned it to me herself. Although, if something bad happened with this man, that could explain Rose's hatred for sailors.

"By the end of the summer, Rose thought they were getting married, so she was really surprised and excited when she found out she was pregnant. She told the guy and he basically laughed in her face. He called her all kinds of names, in front of half the town, and then said that he would never marry someone like her, and that he already had a fiancée waiting back home for him. Rose was devastated. Then she told him that she was keeping the baby, and he insisted that she get an abortion. She wouldn't do it."

My heart is pounding so fast, it feels like it's going a mile a minute. Rose was pregnant? But she doesn't have a baby. I try to remember back to that time, which would have been before my senior year of high school. The summer I didn't come to Forks.

"I guess the day before Royce left town, he found Rose and beat her up pretty bad. Told her that if she wouldn't get rid of the baby, he'd do it himself. He left her bleeding in the street behind the bar, like some kind of animal or something. Your dad found her, and he took her to the hospital, but it was too late. She lost the baby, and she never saw Royce again. Your dad wanted to go after him, but Rose wouldn't let him. She just wanted to forget it all happened and move on with her life. That's why she hates sailors so much, Bella. She thinks they'll all turn out to be like him."

I can't believe what I've heard, or that I never knew until now.

"Oh Rose, why didn't she tell me?" I wonder aloud.

"As far as I know, only your dad, her mom, and Emmett know. She's never told anyone else. She only told Emmett because once they started getting serious, she felt like she should tell him there's a chance she'll never have children. Royce messed her up pretty bad, and she didn't want Emmett to get into something serious with her, and not know."

"She can't have children? What?"

Alice reaches over and places her hand on top of mine. "She doesn't know, she's never tried. The doctors just told her that because of the trauma she suffered, and the scar tissue she has now, there's a good chance it may never happen for her."

I can't imagine Rose without a husband and house full of pretty babies. She may have been a wild child in her earlier days, but I know that's something she's always dreamed of.

"Oh wow, I had no idea."

"I know, and you can't say anything. You should have heard Rose going off at me last year when she found out I was dating Jasper, and had been for two seasons. Look, Bella, Rose knows Edward, or of him, anyway. She knows his reputation. She won't be okay with you dating him. I'm just saying, you need to be prepared in case she finds out, but do everything you can to keep that from happening. I know Jasper's not like Royce, and I know that deep down, Edward's not like him either, but Rose doesn't see it that way."

"Yeah, I get that."

Alice lets out a sigh. "Besides, Edward's not gonna settle down any time soon, so don't go thinking he is. Just have fun with him and take it for what it is—a good time for right now. Don't expect anything more, okay?"

I nod. "I know, I don't expect anything. We'll just have fun and see what happens."

She smiles sweetly, then glances at her watch. "We should go, it's getting be late. Jasper and Edward will be back in town in a few days. We should plan a date night. Whaddaya think?"

"Sure, that sounds fun," I say, telling her that I'll call her in a few days, once I know if Edward really wants to see me again or not. Judging from all the things I've learned about him over the past few days, I'm just a good time to him, and nothing serious. I know it, and I'm okay with it. But I think I'll have a hard time convincing my heart.

~*0*~

**A/N: Little background information. Bella's learning more about Edward, as well as the kind of guy he might be, even if it's not straight from him. Wonder what she'll do with all this new information... :)**

**And Alice...oh, Alice. :D I sorta love her. :D Next time's date night. I know you're all excited for that. :) **


	5. Chapter 5 Movie Theater

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #19 – Movie Theater  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is two boxes of Devil's Food cake mix, a cube of cream cheese, and some powdered sugar. I think I'm gonna make me some homemade Oreo's. They're good. :)**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**This chapter has a little surprise at the end. It's something that I was NOT planning on doing, but _EdwardsBloodType_ talked me into it. She insisted, really. :D And I like it, so it'll happen every 5 chapters, I decided. It's not much, but hopefully it's enough to convince you that Edward's NOT a man h00r. He's a good guy. Really. He is. He's just a guy and he's confusing. I think it's part of their DNA make up to be that way, so he really can't help it. :D**

**Date night! Woo hoo! :D**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 5**

**~*0*~ Movie Theater ~*0*~**

The rest of the week drags by, slowly for the most part. Leah doesn't mention Edward again, and I'm happy about that. I don't need anyone else knowing. And I really don't need Rose finding out. Monday passes by in a daze, nothing too interesting except that Mike comes into the bar that evening. He smiles at me, talks a little bit, and then as he's walking out at closing time and I'm about to lock the door behind him, he asks.

"You're really seeing Cullen?"

I just smile. "Yeah, why not?"

"Bella, I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but the guy's got a bit of a reputation, you know? Every woman I saw in the bar tonight, I've also seen with him. He gets around, and doesn't commit to anyone. I would really hate to see you get hurt by him, that's all I'm saying."

Mike's a nice guy, he really is. "Thanks for thinking of me, but don't worry. I know the deal and I'm not getting sucked into anything I'm not ready for."

His eyes get a tad bigger as he realizes maybe I'm not the goodie-goodie he thought I was. "Okay, as long as you know. We can still be friends, right? Just because we aren't dating or anything doesn't mean we can't still be friends, does it?"

"Mike, we're friends, don't worry," I say, sliding my arm around his waist and giving him a half hug. "Thanks for looking out for me. I really do appreciate it. In this case, I know what I'm doing. Don't worry."

He leaves after giving me a smile and a wave. I know his intentions are good, but he doesn't need to worry. I'm exactly where I want to be with Edward Cullen.

Tuesday, Alice and I set up our date night. I haven't met Jasper yet, so I'm anxious to do so. I'm also hoping that all our planning isn't for nothing. Edward may change his mind about me, although from everything I've heard about him, I should have at least a few weeks of his attention before he gets bored and moves on.

The sun rises bright and early on Wednesday morning. It's the day they're scheduled to return to Clallam Bay. Edward told me they usually spend the first day back getting the fish unloaded and everything on the boat taken care of and set up for the next trip. They'll be in port for about a week before they take off again, so I'll have plenty of time to see him. I'm nervous and excited, though, and again I sit by my window most of the day, playing games on Facebook and watching the harbor, hoping to see his boat. I still have no idea what I'm looking for, or where he docks, but I ignore that fact. I want to see him.

I work Wednesday night so that I'll be off on Thursday for our date. The bar isn't packed, but it's no where near slow, either. Each time the door opens, I turn and look, keeping my eyes peeled for green staring back at me. It never comes. My hickey is long since faded away, and when closing time arrives, and there's still no Edward, I wonder if the man who gave it to me has faded from my life, too.

Leah and I get all our closing duties finished, and I'm in the office completing some paper work when she comes to tell me she's leaving.

"I'll lock the door on my way out. Have fun tomorrow, but be careful, girl. I know he's gorgeous, but...just do me a favor and wrap it before you let him tap it, got that?"

I laugh at her crudeness. "Yes ma'am. You know, I have had sex before, regardless of what Charlie or Rose have told you."

She smiles. "I know, but I also know how it feels to be carried away, especially by someone who looks like Edward does. Trust me, it's not so easy in the heat of the moment."

"Yeah, I know. But I'm good, don't worry. Be careful going home."

I watch her as she walks down the hallway toward the bar. Feeling like maybe I should make sure she gets to her car okay, I follow her. By the time I'm down the hallway and behind the counter, she's standing in the doorway, talking quietly to someone. There's not usually anyone who meets her, so I'm curious. I'm quiet, so as not to disturb their conversation.

"I'm okay, we're doing alright," Leah says.

"Good, I've been worried about you and the little guy. I know it's not easy, and I'm sorry for everything."

It's Edward. I'd recognize his voice anywhere. But what's Leah talking about?

"Have you seen him anywhere? Heard anything from him?" she asks.

"No, I'm sorry. I wish I had, but there's just been nothing."

She sighs. "Okay, thanks anyway."

"Is Bella working tonight?" Edward asks, and my heart begins to pound.

"Yeah, she is. Listen, be careful with her, okay? I know she's not stupid about all this, she knows the deal, but just...don't be you, okay? Not the you we normally see. She's good, so treat her that way."

He chuckles for a moment, and I've never loved the sound of laughter more. "Don't worry, I'll be good. Or as good as I can be."

"Oh great, now I'm worried."

They both laugh, and I decide I need to make my presence known.

"Leah?" I call out. She turns toward me.

"Hey Bella, you have a visitor."

With one last smile, she's gone and I'm face to face with Edward. And he's so much more beautiful than I remembered.

"Hey," I manage to whisper as he closes the door behind him.

"Hey." He smiles, mocking me. I roll my eyes.

"So how was it? You catch lots of fish?"

He laughs as he steps closer to me. "Yeah, it was decent. An average catch, so not too bad a start to the season. How were things here? Did my little mark scare off the big bad fisherman of Clallam Bay?"

I smirk at him as he leans over the counter that stands between us. "Yeah, it must have done the trick. I mean, I only got seven date offers, and usually I'd have gotten at least twenty."

"What?" he almost yells, standing straight up with his hands pulling into fists.

I manage to keep a straight face for a few seconds, then I burst out into laughter. "Oh please, no one even looked at me, don't worry."

"Yeah right. Trust me, they were looking. I heard the things they were saying about you that night I was in here last week."

We're silent for several moments before I finally speak again.

"I'm just finishing up my paperwork for the night. You wanna come up to my place, maybe watch a movie or something?" I ask, hoping that he'll say yes.

"Sure, for a little while. I've gotta get to my apartment tonight. I dropped off my stuff earlier, but I need to get some things settled in. Like laundry. I need to do some, 'cause I hear I have a big date tomorrow night."

I smile. "Oh yeah? I wonder who with?"

"Oh, I think you know," he laughs, walking around the counter to join me. I lead him back to the office, where he sits and watches me finish my work. After things are complete and everything is locked up, he follows me up the stairs to my apartment. Once inside, he takes a few moments to walk around and look at things.

"This is nice, Bella."

"Thanks. It's like a full sized apartment, which is kinda great. I mean, it could have been one of those studio type things, but with this, all the rooms are different. It's great for having people over. Not that I've had anyone over until now, but if I wanted to, you know...it's nice."

"Yeah, I can see that. So, what movie we watchin'?" he asks, and I drag him to my small DVD collection, letting him pick through them and find something. "Bourne Identity? Sound good?" he asks.

"Sounds perfect," I say, grabbing the bag of potato chips and beers I've found in the kitchen.

My couch is nice and soft, and we sink into it, barely touching each other at first. By the time the movie is over, he's practically lying on top of me, yet completely engrossed in the movie. When the credits begin to roll, he looks at me.

"I'm sorry. I was gonna make out with you, and I got totally side tracked. Can you ever forgive me?" he says with a sexy smile, while batting his eyelashes.

"Yeah, we're good. I mean, Matt Damon is a handsome man. I can't deny that fact. It's easy to get side tracked while watching him."

His smile grows a little wider, as his hand moves toward my face and he traces a finger down my cheek. "That it is. If I didn't know better, I'd say someone has a little crush on him. You know, there are several Matt Damon movies in that stack of DVD's over there."

"Well, you have heard that song from that late night talk show guy, right? The one his girlfriend sang for him? 'I'm Fucking Matt Damon'? It's really pretty perfect."

Edward slowly breathes out of his nose, his lips tightly closed together. "I've heard it. I just don't ever want to hear you singing it, you got that?" He moves closer to me, kissing me lightly as our eyes stay glued to one another.

"I got it."

With that, his tongue is in my mouth as my hands grab at his shirt. He kisses me like no one ever has before, and I can tell just why all those other women have wanted to be with him. He's incredible. And so, so sexy. I almost can't believe what's happening on my couch right now, but when he pulls back just a bit, I take the opportunity to push him farther back as I sit up. I know that if we keep going with this, he'll be spending the night, and we'll be naked in my bed.

He looks at me like I've just taken away his puppy or something. "You have to go. Let's save this for tomorrow night, okay?"

He smiles and nods.

I grin at him over my shoulder as I stand from the sofa. "I hope you're ready for a real movie theater and buttered popcorn."

"Hell yes, I'm ready." He quickly stands and grabs me around the waist, pulling me to him. With that, he kisses me, rubs his hands over my tits and ass a few times, and then leaves quietly out the back staircase. I watch him walk down the street from my window, wishing that I could have asked him to stay the night. But I know for certain that tomorrow night I won't be sleeping in my bed alone. That is, if we even make it back here at all.

~*0*~

I'm up bright and early Thursday morning, even though I didn't sleep much. I'm nervous and excited, and I want to see Edward again. We're not leaving on our date until six in the evening, but I'm curious about what he's doing all day, and if maybe I can see him sooner. Alice calls and it's decided that I'll drive us all into Port Angeles, and that we're seeing some action movie that Jasper had mentioned to her. It's not something I really care to see, but I know I'll be too busy paying attention to Edward to watch much of the movie, so I don't complain.

A few minutes before six, there's a knock at my door, and the butterflies in my stomach are fluttering like crazy. As I open the door, I'm greeted by green eyes and light brown hair. Usually Edward's wearing a baseball hat, and all I see is the bottom part of his hair, which is a darker, medium brown. But the top isn't the same. It's sun bleached and much, much lighter than the rest. I can even see a few hints of red in it, which remind me of my own hair. Back in Phoenix I spent a lot of time in the pool, and my hair was lighter than it is now. I like the dark and honestly haven't even missed the blonde bits I used to have. By the look in Edward's eyes, he likes my dark hair, too.

"Hey, you ready?" he asks, giving me a single yellow daisy.

"Yeah. Um, thank you, this is sweet." I spin the flower around in my fingers, looking at the petals as they swirl.

"I picked it outside my apartment. I'll show you where later, if you want."

He's going to take me back to his place after this? I want. I definitely want.

"Okay."

With that, I grab my purse and keys, and we hurry down the stairs to meet Alice and Jasper, who are waiting outside.

Jasper's nice, and the complete opposite of what I thought he'd be. I had pictured someone very similar to Alice—bubbly, energetic, non-stop talking. He's none of those things. He's quiet, speaking in an almost reverent tone, and he's thoughtful. I can tell by the way he pauses before he speaks, that he thinks about what he says before he says it. Alice is different around him, too. She's not quite as loud, or giggly. She watches him whenever he talks, which gives me the impression that he doesn't do it often. The way she hangs on every word... It seems like each one is a little gift, and she's taking her time appreciating them for what they are. I like it, and I wonder if they're always like this, or if it's just because they haven't seen each other in so long.

All evening, Jasper is touching Alice in some way. Nothing inappropriate, just subtle things that catch my attention. Maybe it's because Edward seems to be the complete opposite. When we're alone, he has no problem holding my hand, grabbing my waist, caressing my face. But in public, with others around, the only contact I've received all night is an occasion hand at the small of my back as we walk into a room, or through a doorway. It's disturbing, and I wonder why he acts this way.

I wonder if this is how he treats every woman he's been with. I wonder, but I don't really want to know. He still looks at me like I mean something to him, and when he says my name, it sounds beautiful, so I choose to believe he's just being reserved because we're so new. I tell myself that he's being cautious because, after all, Jasper is his employee. I hope that's all it is.

After eating dinner, we go to the theater. I haven't been here since I was a teenager, but it looks the same. I'm still full from dinner, so I pass on popcorn, though Edward insists on ordering it, along with drinks for both of us. Alice and I decide to visit the ladies room while the guys get our stuff, and we fully expect to see them waiting for us when we exit. But they're not.

Glancing over at the concession stand, I see both men, Jasper bouncing somewhat nervously back and forth on his feet, looking like he's trying to get away, but can't. Edward is leaned over the counter, talking to the girl behind it. I can tell from the way her body is angled toward him that she's flirting, and the way his cheek pulls up shows me that he doesn't mind.

Jasper spots us and I can hear him clear his throat, causing Edward to look over toward us. His eyes meet mine, and for a moment I'm jealous. I'm so much more than jealous, if I'm being honest. I'm fuming mad. He smiles and I gather every bit of strength I have and smile back. Then, leaving Alice standing behind me, I walk toward Edward, my eyes still locked with his. I can see the girl behind the counter watching me, and I hope she keeps it up. She's about to get a show.

"Baby, I missed you," I say as I approach, not stopping until my hand is around Edward's neck and my tongue is in his mouth. He groans as his hands find my waist, and he pulls me against him. When I finally pull away, I look toward the counter, intentionally not making eye contact with the girl. "Thanks for the popcorn, babe. Let's go, we got a dark theater to defile."

I grab his popcorn, my drink, and his hand, then begin to pull him away from a gaping woman. That'll teach her to mess with my man.

"Edward?" she calls after us, but he's holding his drink and following quickly behind me. "Edward, you'll call me, right? We need to talk about this!" she yells, her words dripping with desperation.

He says nothing. He just stays two steps behind me, silent.

Once we settle into our seats, I watch the screen, handing him his popcorn, then ignoring him as he sits next to me. Alice and Jasper are pretty quiet, most likely uncertain what to say or do. About half way through the movie, Edward finally leans over to me.

"You want some popcorn?" he asks, holding the bag toward me.

"No, I don't," I whisper. "What I do want is to know who that woman was, and why you were flirting with her when you're on a date with me?"

He stares at me, like no one has ever challenged him before. Maybe no one has. Maybe that's why he goes from girl to girl to girl. No one's ever made him work for something, so nothing has ever meant anything to him. It makes sense, to me, at least.

"We went out a few times a couple years ago, that's it. No biggie. I didn't even know she worked here, I swear."

When our eyes meet, it seems like he's being honest, so I let out a sigh.

"Look, I know what we are, okay? But don't rub other women in my face. I won't stand around and watch that. Just keep in mind, if you can do it, I can do it, too." I turn back toward the screen, watching from the corner of my eye as he continues to look at me.

His nostrils flare at my words, and he leans even closer, until his lips are at my ear. "I don't share, Bella. I thought we were clear on that."

"I don't share either. Which is only fair, right?" I ask, looking back at him.

He nods. "Fair. We don't share, got it."

We watch the rest of the movie in silence, and I try to not watch as Alice and Jasper make out in the seats next to me. My heart breaks just a bit at the fact that Edward doesn't even try to touch me. No hand holding, no stroking my thigh, no arm around my shoulders, nothing. He just sits in his seat, holding his bag of popcorn, and watching the movie that's really pretty good.

I think this is done, over. We're never gonna be anything more than what we are right now. And I can feel my heart breaking as the movie ends and the lights come on. Time's up.

**~*0*~ EPOV ~*0*~**

She's strange, weird. I can't figure her out. I want to, there's something there, but I don't know. It's crazy.

My life's good. Different ports all the time, a different woman in my bed anytime I want, fishing non stop, a crew that respects me and works hard. I have everything I've dreamed of.

And then I met her.

I didn't want to, but Alice is a bossy little bitch, always pushing until you give in. I like her, but damn, she's got Jasper's balls on a string around her neck. Too bad he doesn't know it yet.

Bella's cute, quirky. She's not as beautiful as Chelsea. She's not nearly as sexy as Carmen. And she's no where near as ditzy as Tanya. But for some reason I like her.

I can't stomach the thought of her with another guy. Fucking Newton tried asking her out. I put a stop to that shit. No way, she's mine.

What the fuck? Why do I even care? She's nice to talk to, but she's got a wicked jealous streak. I need to nip that in the bud now.

Tonight, we'll see just how far she's willing to go for me. I might not like to share, but if she wants to be my girl for now, she needs to be ready for what I want, what I need.

I'll have her tonight and then decide tomorrow what to do. I need to see if she's as good as I think she's gonna be.

She might just be worth the hassle. Even though I'm never settling down. My life is on the water, and no girl is gonna change that.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: Soooooo... What do we think of Edward? He's a little hard to read, but he's a good guy, and he's being honest with Bella. That's a positive, right? We'll hear from him again in Chapter 10. :) And he knows Leah, huh? Interesting... :)  
**

**In case you couldn't already tell, this story's got some smut in it. You'll see what I mean very soon. :)**


	6. Chapter 6 Bedroom

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #3 – Bedroom  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a bundle of Crazy Daisies that my hubs bought for me at the store tonight. They're for Mother's Day, so I'm supposed to pretend that I don't see them in the fridge. Okay... :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**So...everyone's antsy about Edward. Yeah, he's a turdhead. Yeah, he's possessive. Yeah, he's cocky and confident and a little spoiled. But see, won't all that stuff make it just that much better when Bella gets him to change and give up everything, just for her? Well, assuming that's what happens in the story, anyway. :D Just don't judge him too harshly yet. He's a good guy, and there's a reason he does some of the things he does. It'll come out soon, don't worry. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 6**

**~*0*~ Bedroom ~*0*~**

Edward's quiet the whole drive back to Clallam Bay. I can hear Alice and Jasper whispering to each other in the back seat, kissing every once in a while.

I wish that was me and Edward. After tonight, I have a feeling we won't ever be that.

"Bella, I'm staying at Jasper's, so take us to Mrs. Cope's apartments."

"Sure," I answer. I have no idea where Edward lives. Not until he mumbles something as he stares out the window. "What?" I ask.

"I said me too. I live there, too."

Wait, Edward lives in Mrs. Cope's apartments? Why didn't he tell me that when we talked about what goes on there? Oh no, why didn't I see this before? He's just like all the other guys that stay there—like the guys Rose and I met when we were in high school. He's not above that kind of behavior, the way I thought he was; he's right in the middle of it.

It's hard to breathe once I realize how wrong I've been about him, and about me. How could I have fallen for someone like him? He's not a good guy, Rose was right. What was I thinking? All this relationship could ever do is hurt me, and I walked right into it without a second thought. I convinced myself that I could be different from all the other girls, but the truth is, I'm not. I'm just another notch on his bedpost. And I was going to have sex with him again. What is wrong with me?

At least with the guys in college, I was the one choosing to leave them behind. I was the one choosing to have a one night stand. I was the one choosing to just have a good time for a little while. I thought this time was the same thing, or maybe something more, but now that I know what Edward is, I think I'm in over my head.

How could Alice do this to me?

I pull into the parking lot, and leave the car on. I'm not intending to stay. Not anymore. Jasper thanks me and says good night, followed by Alice saying she'll call me in a few days. Once they're out and the door is closed, I watch them walk up a staircase and into an apartment at the end of the building. Edward silently sits next to me. I don't even know what he's doing, I can't bring myself to look at him.

"You want me to show you that flower bush?" he asks, reminding me of the sweet flower he gave me. Interestingly enough, it's wilted on my dashboard, kind of like my feelings for him.

"No, that's okay. I think I'll just head home. I'm kinda tired."

"Bella, please don't do this. Look, I'm sorry, okay? I swear, I didn't know she worked there. I wasn't flirting, I was just talking to her for a minute. I've dated a lot of women around here, Bella. I'm bound to run into a few every now and again."

"How many women is a few? I mean, what are we talkin' here? Ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred? What? Give me a number so I can prepare myself."

"Bella..."

"No seriously, Edward," I say, the anger clear in my voice. "I want to know. I want to know what I'm up against. I need to know how many women in this town you've fucked so that I can know just how good I have to be to keep you coming around."

"Bella, don't. It's not like that."

I look at his eyes, and they're different than they were earlier. He's lying.

"Okay, then what? You want me to just be okay with you flirting all the time, is that it? I should just be happy that you're gracing me with your presence? Thankful that you're lowering yourself enough to spend time with me? Is that how this game is played? I need to know the rules, or else how am I gonna be able to play? I've lost before I can even start."

I'm hurt, and I think he can hear it in my voice. He reaches up and traces his fingers along my cheek. I want so badly to smack his hand away, but I can't bring myself to do it. I still want him, in any way I can get him. It's sick, really.

"Bella, you're not competing, okay? I'm with you right now. I can't promise anything more than that, I already told you. My life isn't here, Bella. It's not fair for me to make you promises that I know I can't keep. I'd rather be honest and tell you the truth. Isn't that better?"

I sigh, fighting back the tears that are quickly pooling in my eyes. "I don't need any promises right now, Edward. I just don't want to be made to feel less than I am. I don't want to be compared to every other woman in town. I don't want to be laughed at when I walk down the street, because everyone else knows something about you that I don't. Is that too much to ask?"

His thumb moves to wipe away a tear that's sliding down my cheek. "Baby, no, there's nothing wrong with that. Bella, I can't help my past. I can't help who I've dated or been with, just like you can't help yours. Trust me, the idea of you with another man doesn't thrill me, and if I ever had to see you with someone else, I think I'd kill him."

Edward is so strange. He seems like two completely different people. On one hand, he wants me. He says he wants to be with me and spend time with me and be happy. But on the other hand, he wants to flirt with other women. He wants no strings tying him down anywhere. I don't know how to handle him.

"Bella, come upstairs with me. Let's talk and see if we can figure something out, okay? I really want to spend tonight with you, Bella. Please?"

His eyes pierce into mine, and I can't stop myself. I don't want to give in so easily, but I'm defenseless against him. It's like he knows exactly what to say and do to get to me. I'm his puppet, and I don't have any idea how to stop it. "Alright," I whisper. After turning off the car and locking it up, he shows me the little daisy bush were he picked my flower, and he picks me another one, sticking it over my ear and into my hair.

"So beautiful," he whispers, as he leans down to kiss my cheek. I don't know if I'm ready for more than that, and I turn away just a little. "Come on." His hand reaches down and captures mine. He pulls me up the stairs, to the building opposite Jasper's. His door is on the end, too, and we enter his little apartment. It's smaller than I remember these apartments to be, but it's enough for him, and that's what most fisherman want. Just a place to sleep a few nights a month, and a place to bring dates so they can fool around in private.

I sit on the chair in his living room. I'm actually afraid of the sofa. It's big enough to have seen plenty of sex, and I don't feel like catching anything today. The chair has probably seen it's fair share, too, but let's be honest—I'm relatively certain that with the way Edward looks, he's been able to convince women to have sex with him on every surface of this apartment. I'm just going to stay in my spot and hope he knows how to clean. Edward told me he keeps the same apartment year round so that he can store things here. I wonder as I look around the room, how he manages that. Mrs. Cope doesn't like vacant apartments. But she's been widowed a long time now, and as much as I don't want to believe Edward capable of something like that, the thought is there. Is she one of his women? The list just keeps getting longer and longer, so it wouldn't exactly come as a shock if she were.

"Hey, come here," he says, crooking his finger at me. Between the way he's stalking toward me, and the finger, and the smirk on his face, I can't help but listen to him. I stand and go to him, letting him put his arms around me and kiss me. For just a moment, I want to pretend it's okay. I want to pretend that I matter to him. I want to pretend that this is more than just sex and a good time. So I let myself, and then I lose myself in him.

Soon enough he's pulled me into his bedroom, and he's kissing every inch of my neck that he can get to. He pushes down the straps of the tank top I'm wearing, giving him full access to my shoulders. "You're so incredible, you know that?" he asks me. I can't do anything more than whimper. My body is on fire, and I'm happily burning for him. I pretend that he wants me the way I want him, and it works for a few minutes, then reality comes crashing in on me, and I know this is just for the moment, nothing more. He can't promise me anything more than this.

But when he pulls back and looks at me, I don't care. I'll give up a lifetime of happiness if I can just experience a little while with Edward. He's worth it, to me.

"Bella, turn around," and he spins me in his arms. The room is dark, though not completely pitch black. There's a streetlight outside that's illuminating things a bit, and the living room light shining through the open doorway to the side of us is adding to it. He stands me in front of a window, one with blinds on it that are open. I know the chances of anyone seeing in aren't great, but still it's a little exciting.

"Look outside, tell me what you see."

I look, and see nothing, so I tell him.

"Look harder, don't be afraid. Look, and tell me what you see."

His lips move up and down my neck, his hands under my shirt and playing with my nipples. I look outside and it takes a few moments, but soon enough I see a light on in another apartment, and I can see into the window. It looks to be a bedroom very similar to Edward's, and as I continue to stare, I see them.

"Oh my..."

"Tell me what you see, Bella. Tell me," he whispers with a voice full of lust and want.

"There's a couple there, on a bed. They're having sex, I think. It's kind of dark, I can just see their silhouettes against the light."

Edward's hands grab the hem of my shirt, and they pull it up and off. His lips move back to my neck, and he looks over my shoulder. "Baby, you're tits are so fuckin' gorgeous. Tell me what you see."

I look harder, trying to not be distracted by the fact that he's unzipping my denim skirt and slipping his fingers into the waistband of my panties.

"He's on top of her, I think they're kissing and he pushing into her, over and over again."

The scene I'm witnessing is hot, and it's making me hot, which Edward can tell when he sinks his fingers into my wet pussy.

"So good, Bella. Can you feel me? Imagine that's us. Can you feel me fucking you?"

"Ugh," I moan, rocking my pelvis with the rhythm his hand is setting.

Soon enough his hand moves and he pulls my skirt down, followed by my underwear. The moment I'm naked in front of him, I feel his lips on my back, pressing down the length of my spine..

"Bend over, baby, and tell me what you see. Imagine it's you being fucked like that. Tell me how you feel, and what I'm doing to you."

I lean forward, bracing myself on the window sill. I can feel Edward's hands on my waist, then my hips. His skin is a little rough, probably from all the equipment on his boat. I like it, the way his calluses scratch my flesh.

"They're moving, they're rolling over. Now she's on top of him, she's riding his cock."

Edward's mouth is in the middle of my back as he whispers for me to keep going.

I watch the couple, in awe of how beautiful they look together. The way she moves her body over him is insanely hot, and for a moment I'm wishing they were in the same room as Edward and me, just so I could watch them. I remember what it's like, to have another couple next to you as you fuck. It's not something I've done a lot, but the feel of more than one set of hands on you is not easily forgotten.

Edward's mouth continues to trail down my back until finally I feel his lips on my ass, kissing it as his hands knead my butt, hips, and thighs.

As he does that, the girl moves. She rises up and moves forward. I watch as she situates herself over her partner's face. I can see his shoulders lift off the bed a bit as he presses his face up between her thighs.

"He's tasting her," I say, without really thinking about what I'm saying, just being lost in the moment.

"Is that what you want? What I promised you last time? Tell me, Bella."

I have to admit, his promise last week to tongue fuck me has had me anxious and needy, and I'm hopeful he meant it. Just as I'm about to ask him what he plans to do to me, I feel him on my pussy, his tongue reaching out and licking at my skin. "Ohhhh," I stutter, grasping the ledge of the window sill to steady myself. My legs are weak and shaky as he begins his assault on my clit. He makes these little noises that turn me on so much, and I know I'm probably dripping all over him, but whatever I'm doing just seems to spur him on even more.

"Tell me," I hear him mumble against the skin of my inner thigh. "Tell me what you see."

I turn my attention back to the couple, just in time to see the man getting up and positioning himself behind the woman. There's something familiar and odd about them, but I push it from my mind, instead taking the moment to watch him as he begins to pound into her from behind.

"Ahhhh, Edward...he's fucking her from behind. I want that, I want you to fuck me from behind."

"Yes, ma'am," he says, standing quickly. I hear the sound of a zipper, and then the rustling of stiff fabric, and a few moments later he's rubbing the head of him up and down my slit.

"Did you wrap it?" I ask.

"What?" he replies as he slows his movements.

"You know, wrap it before you tap it?"

He laughs, which sounds really good to me. "Yes, ma'am, I did. Can I fuck you now?"

"Please," I say, then tighten my hold on the wall as he pushes himself into me.

"Oh Bella, yeah," he moans. I can tell from his hard, deep strokes, he's enjoying himself. I continue to watch the couple as they fuck, and suddenly I know why they looked so familiar.

"It's Alice and Jasper!" I yell in disbelief, freezing and tearing my eyes away from their intimate moment.

"Yeah, but they know what we're doing, it's okay."

I glance over my shoulder at him. "They know?" What have I gotten myself into? Then I remind myself that it's just Alice and Jasper, it's fine. Plus it's nothing I haven't done before—having sex in front of people. Hell, my college roommate and I practically made a game out of it. I turn back toward the window and see the way he moves her body, manipulating her so that her tits look huge. And I do like breasts, for some reason. I watch them sway back and forth, mesmerized by how hot they look, while Edward continues to pound into me.

"Oh yeah, Bella, that's it. You like watching Jasper fuck Alice from behind like that? You see the way her tits shake back and forth with every stroke of his cock? You think it feels as good as this does?" he says as he emphasizes his strokes into me.

"Edward, so good, baby. Oh fuck me harder, please."

He thrusts forward harder and faster, and it's then that I notice my own tits bouncing back and forth with the force of his pushes into me.

"Reach down, baby. I want you to touch yourself for me. I want to feel you fall apart all around me, and I want to feel your pussy squeezing down on my dick. Come on, baby."

I do as he asks, starting to rub circles against my clit, concentrating on Edward's thrusts, and watching as Jasper leans back and Alice turns to sit in front of him. Just when I think it can't possibly get any more erotic, Alice takes Jasper's cock into her mouth, and he begins to thrust.

"Oh, he's fucking her mouth."

"Yeah, I see it." He pounds harder. "Alice is such a little cock sucker. She loves it, baby. She's a dirty girl. Are you a dirty girl, Bella? You wanna suck my big cock, too?"

"Ugh, yes, please," I moan, then begin to squirm as I feel my orgasm building.

"Bella," he grunts, squeezing my hips with his hands, pulling and pushing me to and from him. I love it.

"Edward, I'm so close, baby."

I feel his breath on my neck, his lips at my ear. "Tell me, Bella, have you ever been fucked this good in your life? Huh, you dirty, naughty girl?"

Between his breath, his words, and the feel of him, I'm suddenly exploding. I know he can feel it, too, because instantly he's pounding harder and faster than before.

"Tits or ass, baby?" he says in a desperate voice. I don't know what he's talking about, but the ass comment worries me a little bit. I know what happens there...

"Tits," I say, then feel him pull out of me and grab my shoulders, spinning me around to face him.

"On your knees," he orders me, and I fall to the floor, his cock bobbing right in front of my face. He pulls the condom off, stroking his manhood a few times, and I see the glistening cum that's gathered on the tip.

"Edward?" I say, looking up at him. He wants a blow job? His eyes meet mine for a moment, and I can see it. He needs this, and because I can't say no to him, he's gonna get the best damn blow job of his life.

I take him deep into my mouth, my tongue flattening so I can fit more. He's not the longest guy I've ever been with, nor the widest, but he's perfect for me. My hand wraps around the base of his cock and I pump as I suck, taking all of him in.

"Oh fuck me, baby," he whimpers, his eyes fixed on the window. He pushes and I take, and soon enough I feel him start to tense. I suck harder, ignoring the rubbery taste that lingers from the condom, and pull him farther into my mouth. I'm anxious to taste him, but he pulls out of my mouth and aims his dick at my chest. Warm spurts of cum shoot out, and I feel it sliding down my chest, between my tits, as well as over them. As much as I wanted to swallow for him, I'm satisfied and I reach up, smearing his juices into my skin, spreading him all over my breasts before lifting a finger to my mouth and tasting him for myself. It's kind of gross, but I don't care. It's what Edward wants to give me right now, and I'll take it.

Finally, he looks away from the room across from his, looking down at me with wide eyes. "Bella, are you okay?" he says through labored breaths.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Are you?"

He smiles. "Oh hell yes. I don't remember the last time I felt this good. You were amazing." He moves his hand to my cheek, caressing it as he watches me closely. His eyes are bright and sparkling. I don't think he's lying.

"I'll be right back," he says, stepping back and moving toward what I assume is the bathroom. Soon he returns with a white washcloth. "Let me get that off you. It can get a little sticky." He pulls me to stand, then wipes at my chest, cleaning it off while managing to feel me up a few times.

"Come to bed with me?" he asks in a whispered tone, pulling my body tight against his as he kisses me sweetly, gently. I can't find the strength to say anything. I just nod and let him lead me to the bed. I slide between the covers, and Edward settles in behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, with his hand settling over my breast. His breath is hot and steady against my neck, and I feel his softened cock against my ass. It's then, with him wrapped all around me, that I take a moment to digest what we just did. It was amazing and perfect and twisted and kinky.

And I can't wait to do it again.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: Didn't I say things were gonna get a bit kinky? Didn't I say that? :) And just think, we're only at chapter 6 out of 25. :D Yippee! :D**

**_HollettLA_ was review #200 for this story. Ahhhhh...that's so nice. :D Plus she's awesome! And she makes the college girl in me come out whenever I see her name. It's pathetic, but I always do the little "raise the roof" move with my hands while yelling in a sing song voice "Hol-la!" :D I'm a dork, I know. :D**

**Lucky for you, my _Unchanged Affections_ made me change next chapter up a bit, and I love it SOOOO much more! And I turned my _Worship_ Facebook group into a _beegurl13_ facebook group. It won't be nearly as exciting as most author's groups, but it'll have pretty pictures in it. :D And did I mention I put a pic of my garden on my Facebook yesterday? Yeah...big rain and windstorm Wednesday evening...it blew down my corn. :( I'm sad about it, but secretly convinced that the movie_ Signs_ is taking place in my back yard. Now, where's that Joaquin Phoenix... :)**


	7. Chapter 7 Prom

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #22 – Prom  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a VHS tape of the movie _A League of Their Own_. The movie was on tv yesterday, and it's still so good. That part where the girl can't read her name on the players board? Still makes me cry every single time. :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**Glad you all seemed to like the kinkiness of these two. They'll be fun... :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 7**

**~*0*~ Prom ~*0*~**

Sometime during the night I wake up, fully aware of where I am and who I'm with. Edward looks so beautiful lying here next to me, his lips pressed together in a pout and his hair wild and sticking up everywhere.

I need to get out. I don't want to wake up beside him, not until I know that's what he wants. He didn't say anything last night, other than asking me to come to bed and then later whispering that I could stay if I wanted to. Does he really care about what I want? I'm not sure, but I hope I figure it out before too much longer. I have a feeling my heart won't handle rejection too well.

I manage to find my clothes and get dressed, before tip toeing into the living room and grabbing my purse. I lock the door before I softly close it behind me, hoping not to make too much noise. The air is crisp and it's sprinkling, which isn't abnormal for this time of year. I hope and pray my car won't wake him up, and I don't turn on the headlights until I'm on the street, heading away from his apartment. It's not a full walk of shame, since it's technically still night time. At least I have that going for me.

Rosalie is supposed to be bringing supplies in the morning, so once I'm back in my apartment, I quickly shower, trying to get any trace of Edward off my skin. As much as I would love to wake up still smelling like him, I know I can't chance it. If Rose smells fresh blood, in the way of a gentleman caller, she won't stop until she knows who it is.

She arrives not too long after I start working, which is good. Leah asks about my night, but since Rose is nearby, we don't discuss it. I'll fill her in later, once I know the coast is clear.

"Bella, you have a visitor," Leah quietly tells me, as she leans into the office. Her eyes are wide and there's no smile on her face, so I know this probably isn't the good kind of visitor. With Rose still double checking my inventory counts in the storage room, I hurry to the main room of the bar to see who's looking for me.

Edward's standing at the counter, his hands flat on the wood top as he stares toward the doorway I'm standing in. I can't tell his mood based off his expression, and I let out a sigh before crossing the distance to him.

"I woke up and you weren't there. Where'd you go?" he asks, his voice low and still a bit scratchy from sleeping.

"I didn't know if you wanted me to stay or not, so I got out of the way."

"Bella," he sighs. "I asked you to stay, so how did that turn into you not knowing what I wanted?"

"You didn't ask me to stay, you asked me go to bed with you. Then you said I could stay if I wanted. There's a difference."

I can hear a bit of a commotion coming from the hallway leading to the office, and worried that Rosalie will make an appearance, I walk toward the front door, hoping Edward will follow me. He does, though he doesn't look too happy about it.

"Rose is here, I need to be careful."

His eyes burn into mine and I know he's upset. "Fine, whatever. For the record, you don't have to leave my bed, ever, okay?"

I nod, seeing the truth in his eyes.

"You working today?"

"Yeah, I'm working all day," I tell him. We're standing in the parking lot, just a few feet from the door, and I'm nervous that Rose will come looking for me.

"Stop looking at the door, okay? Look at me. Come over tonight after you're done."

A sigh escapes me, and as much as I want to, I'm nervous. I don't reply.

"Bella, come over. Either you come to me, or I'll come here to you. And I don't care who's here, you got me?"

"Okay, I'll be over. I promise." Who knows what Rosalie's plans are today, and I can't risk Edward coming back by.

"I'll see you then," he says, leaning in to kiss me lightly on the lips. It feels so good, and makes me want him so much. I almost lose myself in it, but stop before things get too carried away.

"Bye," I whisper, before hurrying back into the bar. Sure enough, Rose comes down the hallway just as I get back behind the counter.

"There you are. We need to go over a few of these numbers."

I smile. "Okay."

The rest of my day drags by, and it's with an anxious heart that I clean myself up after my shift, putting on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt before I go to Edward's apartment. It's just after dark when I get there, and he has food laid out across his dining table. Enough for two.

"I just got you the same thing you ordered that night at the cafe. I hope that's okay."

It's totally fine, and I settle into the chair next to him and eat, trying to ignore the way he's looking at me. I feel like he'd be just as happy eating me as he is eating his hamburger.

I think I'd be happier with him eating me, too. It's really kind of amazing when he does it, and I hope I'm on the menu later in the evening.

~*0*~

Light floods into the room, waking me earlier than I usually get up. I like closed curtains, but apparently Edward prefers open blinds. I lay still, trying to figure out if Edward's still asleep, and remembering the night before. Things were so primal and instinctive between us. The way I am when I'm in his grasp is still so new and different. I'm slightly surprised at how the night turned out, but I'm not complaining. I want this man, more than I've ever wanted anything or anyone before. I feel like I'm completely snubbing my nose at the whole Women's Rights movement, but I can't help it. I'd do anything for him.

"I can tell you're awake, you know. What are you thinking about so hard over there?" he whispers in a gravely morning voice. I remember it from yesterday morning in the bar, and I like it.

"Trying to decide if you're still sleeping, and what my odds are of getting to the bathroom without you watching my naked ass walk across the room."

He laughs. "Your odds aren't good, I'll tell you that much right now."

I smile. He does this to me, this weird feeling in my gut. I never had it before I met him. Now, it won't go away.

"I'll be back." With that, I'm up and off the bed, making myself stand up as tall as I can while I walk across the room. Hopefully by stretching myself out a bit, it'll hide all the little jiggly areas of my body that I'm not particularly fond of.

"There's a new toothbrush in the drawer, if you want it," I hear him yell once I'm in the tiny bathroom with the door closed. It's relatively clean, which makes me think he must have someone clean it for him. I think that's a service Mrs. Cope offers. Not like I would know for certain.

After I wash and brush my teeth and try to smooth out my hair, I realize I have to walk back into the bedroom, naked, and this time with more than just my ass on display. I look in the mirror for a moment and panic, then decide I don't care. If Edward likes me, he'll like me no matter what I look like. And luckily for me, I don't have any hideous birth marks or scars to worry about. I take a deep breath, then open the door and start toward him.

He's lying on his back, his hands behind his head, and he turns to look at me as I approach. His mouth pulls up into a devilish smile, and he moves to lean up on one elbow as I get closer.

"Very nice, Bella. I hope I get to see a lot more of this."

Pulling up the sheet, I settle back down into the bed. It's not cold, by any means, but I pull it up over my chest, covering everything except my shoulders, arms, and head. He moves a little closer to me, hovering over me a bit. "Good morning."

I smile. "It certainly is. And a good morning to you."

His finger begins to twirl a strand of my hair around it. "Do you have to work today?" he asks.

"No, not until tonight. I go in late, why?"

"I was hoping we could stay in bed today. I want to get to know you better."

"Oh really? Is this what you do with all your girls?" I ask, half teasing and half serious.

"Are we still on this?" When I say nothing in reply, he lets out a huff. "No, it's not what I do with all my girls. Most women tell me everything I need, or want, to know in the first day or so that I know them. I figure out what I want from them, and then it's just physical. I know there's no future, so why waste time pretending? I don't need to know any more than how they like to be fucked, and how clingy they'll be when we're done. Is that what you're looking for from me?"

He's very direct, and while it hurts to hear how he's been in the past, it makes me feel good that he's not treating me that way. He's treating me differently, and I like it.

"Yeah, that's what I want to know, but that's not what I want from you. At least not all I want." I look away from him, hoping I haven't just ruined my chances. I clear my throat and then continue. "So, how do you wanna do this? What do you want to know? Ask me anything."

He smiles. "I plan to, don't worry."

I can tell he's trying to decide how to start, so I take his moment of hesitation to add something.

"Just know, for every question you ask me, I'm asking you one in return. And I expect an honest answer. I'll be honest with you, you be honest with me, and I think we'll be fine."

His eyes widen. I don't think he's ever had anyone set up rules with him before. I may be a pushover when it comes to him, but I still want things to be fair. Even Steven, and all that. It's only right.

"Okay, fine with me. Anything, right? No topic's off the table?" he asks.

"Nope, nothing's off limits with me. I have nothing to hide."

"Good. So tell me, when we first met, that night at the cafe, you said that boys, or men never liked you until college. Why is that?"

Oh course he would ask about my history with men. I'm sure it's no where near as interesting or expansive as his history with women, but I'm guessing I've got a few stories that could shock him.

"Well, in one word, alcohol." I stare at him as he takes it in. I know he wants more, but he'll have to ask for it.

"Alcohol? How did that make men want you? Are you saying they had to be drunk to like you? Because I can tell you right now, that's not true."

I laugh just a bit. "No, it's because once I got to college, I could get beer or liquor or whatever the girls had. Alcohol made me less inhibited. It made me brave, not so concerned about all the little things. It made me act out, and that led me to doing things that men noticed."

"Like..."

Here we go. "Like blow jobs. Like feeling up my roommate. Like making out with other girls from my dorm. Like riding some guy while his friends watched. That kinda stuff."

His eyes widen. I know he wasn't expecting that from me. "So you're a kinky little thing, huh? I should have known. Most women, when I try that window move from the other night, they take off. But not you, you stayed. You were totally into it, and I was glad."

"So what, that was like a test or something?" I'm a little offended that he felt the need to "test" me the other night. What the hell?

"Something like that. I just needed to know if you're up for the same things I am. I needed to know how far I could push you. I needed to know what you like." His body is leaning against mine, and I can feel the hard muscles in his chest pressing into my arm. His long, lean legs are lined up with mine, his foot tracing along the bottom of my foot.

"So, I passed, then?" I ask, a smirk on my face and sarcasm thick in my voice.

"Oh yeah, you most definitely did. But I'll be honest, Bella. I was nervous about doing that to you. I didn't want you to run away from me, but I needed to know. This was the first time I've ever hoped the woman would still be here after we were done. Most other times I just do it to get rid of a someone, or weed out the vanilla's that happen to cross my path. But with you, I really hoped you'd stay, and I'm happy you did. That's why it freaked me out yesterday morning when I woke up and you weren't here."

I know it's a pigheaded thing for him to do, but the way he explains himself, it makes me all warm inside, and when he leans down to press him lips to mine, I let him.

"My turn," I say, realizing that he'll probably keep kissing me just to get out of answering my questions, and there's no way I'm missing this chance.

He sighs and leans back on his elbow, watching me, and waiting.

"Where's your family, are you from here? Tell me about your parents and all that."

He smiles a real, genuine smile, and it makes me happy that I caused that in him.

"My family, huh? I gotta say, most girls don't ask me that question." He laughs, and it makes me smile. "Well, I grew up in Seattle. My parents lived there and I grew up as an only child. My dad's a doctor, a surgeon, and my mom stayed home to take care of me, though she helped my dad a little with his office and stuff. I was born when they were in their late 20's, so they were pretty settled when I came along."

It's nice to hear him talk about his parents. I like it, the look he has on his face is very telling. I think this is the real him.

"They had another baby before me, a boy named Anthony. He died a few weeks before being born, so when my parents had me and I was born early, they worried a lot. I guess I had several health issues and they almost lost me a few times. My mom swore that if I made it, she'd never have any more children, she'd just take care of me, and that's what she did. I got better, and she dedicated her life to me and my dad. I had a great childhood, I was happy and well cared for."

"You were spoiled, weren't you?" I ask.

"I guess so," he laughs.

"That's where you're self confidence comes from. It makes sense."

His finger ghosts over my collar bones. "Maybe so. We lived near the Sound, and my dad always loved boats. He had one and would take me sailing almost every weekend or holiday. I spend a lot of time on the water with him, and he taught me everything I know."

"Do they still live there?"

"No, they're in Florida now. I guess about eight or nine years ago, my dad had a mishap when he was sailing. A rope got wound around his hand, and it damaged some of the ligaments and tendons there. He suffered a small amount of nerve damage, too, and after that, he just didn't trust himself to operate anymore. My mom's sister lives in Florida and her husband owns a boat rental company. My parents sold everything they had here and moved. My mom gets to be near her sister, and my dad teaches sailing lessons at my uncle's company. They're happy there. They're on the water, and it's actually warm. I don't think they've been back here once since they left." He chuckles a bit at the last part, obviously finding it humorous.

"That's nice, that they're happy. Why didn't you go with them?"

"Hey, I thought it was my turn for the next question?" he says, wrapping his hand around my waist as he pulls me toward him a little.

"It's still related to the last question. Don't try and get out of answering."

He smiles. "Okay, boss lady. Well, when they left, I was in the Coast Guard, and I was stationed out of Alaska, so there really wasn't any way I could have gone, even if I wanted to. But I didn't want to. I wanted to sail with the Coast Guard, and then when I got out, I wanted to buy my own boat, so I did. I had some connections as far as fishing goes, and the fact that I'm not tied down lets me sail all over the world and fish in different places all year long. It's kind of perfect for me. I get to be on the water all the time, and constantly meeting new people. I never have a chance to get bored."

The Coast Guard? He was in the military? Huh, I never saw that coming.

"That's where I met Jasper. He was in for four years, I did eight. He got out a year or so after I did, and I asked him to come sail with me. He's been with me ever since." He smirked at me a little. "And since I know you're going to ask, I've been fishing for six years now."

I don't tell him, but I was going to ask. My mind is racing, trying to do the math. I haven't wondered before how old he is, I just figured a little older than me, so no biggie. Now I'm thinking he's at least thirty two, which isn't that much older than my twenty five. I can deal with that.

"So, my turn again, right?" he asks. I nod and wait for his question. "What brought you to Washington? I mean, I'm sure it wasn't the wonderful weather."

I smile, softly laughing. "No, not that. I actually really miss the heat, and I haven't even been here through a winter yet. I came to help my dad, Charlie. You might know him from the bar."

"Yeah, I've met him. Is something going on with him?"

"He's got cancer, though I'm not really sure what type or where it's at. He won't tell me. He just says not to worry, that he's taking all his meds and he's getting radiation therapy and soon it'll just be a distant memory, but I don't know."

He's quiet for a moment. "Wow, that's tough. I'm sorry you have to go through that."

"Thanks. I just feel bad. I mean, I haven't even been able to spend any real time with him yet since I've been back. I saw him for a couple of days, and then I headed right out to run the bar, and I've only been to Forks for an afternoon here or a morning there. He needed my help out here, with Seth leaving on one of the boat crews the week before I arrived."

"How's he doing? Your dad, I mean."

"Rose says he's good, or in good spirits, anyway. He looks really thin, and that worries me. I'm hoping that once the season's over, and Seth is back, I can spend a few days a week in Forks with him, help him with whatever he needs. Plus I'd like to see Rose a little more. She'll be in big wedding planning mode by then, so it'll be fun."

I suddenly realize that once that time comes, the time I've been looking forward to, Edward will be gone. It's like I have to trade one life for another. I wish I could have them both at the same time, but I don't think that's possible.

"Where's your mom? She's not here with you dad?" he asks. His fingers are drawing patterns into the sheet over my stomach, and it feels amazing.

"She's in Arizona, where I came from. She's remarried, has a good life there."

"You think you'll ever go back?"

"Maybe, if I don't have anything keeping me here. I love it here, but I really do miss the heat, so you never know." I smile up at him, hoping he doesn't think too much into my words. "My turn again. Did you ever go to a high school prom?"

He laughs. "High school prom? Are kidding me? Why do you want to know that?"

"I just do. It's something that probably no one really knows about you, and I want to know things that no one else knows. Is that bad?"

His eyes meet mine, and he smiles. "No, that's not bad at all."

"So tell me, where you the big man on campus back in the day? No secrets, or I'll be forced to track down one of your old yearbooks."

His smile widens and he rolls his eyes. "No, I wasn't a big man on campus. Not by a long shot. I was pretty quiet, I kept to myself a lot. I had friends, and we partied and stuff, but I was never in the running for Prom King or anything like that."

"So did you go to prom?"

"I did, my sophomore year."

"Wow, you were so young!" I say, feigning shock.

He laughs. "It was as a favor to my mom. Her friend had a daughter who was a senior. She and her boyfriend broke up a week or so before the dance, and he asked someone else. She was nominated for Queen, so she had to have a date. I didn't want to do it, but then my mom dragged me over to her house and I saw her crying, and I couldn't not do it, you know? She was a nice girl, and we had fun, so it was fine."

"Did you kiss her at her doorstep when you took her home that night?" I tease.

"Uh, yeah. But it wasn't at night when I took her home, it was the next morning. A few of my friends were also going and they got a hotel suite for the night. We went there and partied a bit after the dance."

"Your parents were okay with you staying out all night? My dad would never have let me do that. Especially at fifteen."

"They were cool about it."

He's quiet, and from the way he's avoiding eye contact, I can tell he's not giving me the whole story.

"What? Tell me." He stays silent, and then I get it. "You had sex with her, didn't you?" I've never seen Edward blush before, but it might actually be happening right before my eyes. "You did."

"It was my first time, it wasn't very good—I wasn't very good, but she taught me a few things."

"Did you date her, or was it just the one time?" I ask, curious about how he progressed to what he is today.

"Nah, just the one time. She was leaving for college soon after graduation, so there wasn't much point in pursuing her."

"What was her name?" I'm curious, and I really want to see if he remembers.

"Lucy. Her name was Lucy." He continues to stare at the sheet covering me, his fingers constantly moving over it, and over me.

"Did she win prom queen?"

He smiles. "Yeah, she did. She wore that crown all night. And I do mean all night."

We're both laughing, and it feels nice. I like the ease between us, it makes me happy. I just hope Edward feels it too, that it's not one sided.

"I didn't go to any other proms after that. I just stole other guys dates, instead. It was great, I got the fun of all the after party stuff without having to fork out money for a tux and dinner and tickets to the dance."

"You stole dates from other guys?" I'm kind of shocked at how insignificant this seems to him.

"Sure. They were dorky guys and trust me, the girls were relieved to get out of a boring night."

My interest is piqued, and I need to know. "How did you do it? How did you steal them away?"

An angelic smirk stretches across his face as his eyes finally meet mine. "You want me to tell you, or show you?" he asks.

"You decide." I'm up for anything, but with continued touches through our chatting session, I'm feeling an urge swell within me. I want him again. I want him as much as I can possibly have him.

He clears his throat and wipes the grin off his face. "Hey Bella, you look nice tonight."

Showing me, it is. "Thanks Edward. You look nice, too."

His finger tucks into the edge of the sheet around my chest, pulling it down just a little. "Thanks. I'm comfortable, that's what counts. So, you having fun tonight?"

"Yeah, it's okay."

"Your dork date take you to dinner?" he asks, he eyes focused on my chest as he tugs the sheet a little farther down, the swells of my breasts coming into view.

"We had dinner. It was fine. Why?"

"No reason." He leans over, placing a kiss on my chest, then kissing again and again. The burning in my gut continues to grow, and I'm loving the way he's making me feel. There's just something about him, and I can't get enough of it.

"So where's your date tonight, Edward?"

I feel his lips curl into a smile against my skin. "I don't actually have one. See, I was gonna ask this one girl, but someone else asked her first, so I figured why bother pretending with anyone else?"

My hand rises and I let my fingers twist into the ends of Edward's hair, loving how silky it feels against my skin.

"That's too bad. I'm sure she would have loved coming with you."

"Oh, she would loved coming with me, I guarantee that." He places one more kiss on my breast, then looks up at me. "You know she's you, right?"

The sincerity in his eyes catches me completely off guard. Deep down, I know he's lying, but he makes it seem so real. I can't help but believe him.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Now, the way I see things, you've got two choices." He tugs at the sheet again, revealing my nipples, then pulls it farther down until it's laying around my hips. "One, you stay here with your dork date, maybe end up sitting next to him on his mother's sofa later on, drinking punch and eating cookies while you watch some lame movie. Then he'll take you home and you'll have to figure out how to dodge his obligatory good night kiss. Or," and the smirk is back, firmly cemented on his face. "You can leave with me, and we'll head over to the beach. I've got drinks a lot stronger than mommy's punch, and the only thing you'll be dying to get your lips around is my cock. I'll fuck you so good, you'll forget dork date's name, but you won't care because you'll be screaming mine all night long."

With that, he wraps his lips around my nipple and sucks it hard into his mouth. My back arches up, pushing toward him, wanting more. I can't help the desire I have for him, and a moan slips from between my lips.

"I think I know your answer, baby," he whispers as he shifts in the bed, kissing down my stomach, along my hip, and onto my thigh as he positions himself between my legs. "I promised you'd be coming, didn't I?" he says, before pushing my legs apart and running his nose along my inner thigh. His tongue peeks out, and I feel him against my folds. I can sense what he's doing to me, and I know I'm wet. From the look in his eyes, and the way his mouth moves over me, I think he likes it.

My fingers thread through his hair as I hold him against me, loving the feel of his tongue on my clit. His fingers soon thrust into me, and I'm falling, whimpering and shaking when I cum for him. As he continues to pleasure me, I tighten my hold on his hair, pulling him up and toward me.

"I want you, now," I say, wrapping my legs around his waist and pulling him closer. I'm not content until his lips are on mine, his hands are roaming my body, and he's buried completely inside me.

We stay in bed the rest of the morning, and as he promised, Edward has me coming with him again, and again, and again. I'll never get enough of this man.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: Don't worry, Edward washed the sheets. I know Bella was concerned about the sofa and the chair being covered with sex germs, but sheets are a lot easier to clean, so she's good with the bed. :D**

**I like these two talking. It's nice. :) Hopefully after this Edward seems a little more likeable. :D**


	8. Chapter 8 Bookstore

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #4 – Bookstore  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a bag of my favorite tortilla chips and a jar of really good salsa. Hubs told me to buy my own Mother's Day present, so aside from the flowers I got the other day, I got myself some good chips. How sad is my life that I choose my own bag of chips as my Mother's Day gift? *hangs head in shame***

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**Edward and Bella talked. Edward showed he has a nicer side. He proved he likes sex in a bed. He went after Bella when she wasn't there when he woke up. :) Hmmmm...keep the happy feelings in the forefront of your mind. Just sayin'. :D**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 8**

**~*0*~ Bookstore ~*0*~**

Over the next few days, Edward and I spend every minute we can together. Usually in his bed or mine, or on his sofa or mine, though I prefer my furniture since I know where it's been, and who's been on it. We try to not be too public with our relationship, or whatever it is - Understanding? Connection? Arrangement? I'm still not clear, but I'm not asking for a title. I'm just happy to have him with me, and I'm dreading the times when he'll be gone.

Before I know it, a new week has arrived and Edward's next fishing trip is here. He spends most of his last day at the dock, getting things ready, before showing up on my doorstep a little before midnight. We spend half the night having sex and talking, like pretty much every other night over the past week.

I want to be romantic and call it making love, but I know it's not that. We're not in love, nor will we ever be. I want it, badly, but I know the deal, and that's not it.

The sun rises before I'm ready for it to, and Edward's up, in more ways than one.

"Come on, baby, cum for me," he pants as he pushes into me over and over again. I'm on my hands and knees, on top of my bed, with him behind me. His hand slaps my ass and I growl at the sting.

"Edward, oh fuck," I moan, and just as I'm about to climax, there's a knock at the door. "What the—who the hell?" I say, not stopping even though Edward slows a little. "Keep going."

"Bella, you sure?"

"Yeah, just fuck me, okay?"

After a few more moments, I'm coming and so is Edward. Then there's another knock.

"Bella, get the hell out of bed. I know you're in there!"

"Shit! What's Rose doing here?" I whisper, grabbing for a T-shirt and some shorts.

So far, I've been successful at keeping her from finding out about us, but I'm not sure how long I can keep it up. And she can't know, especially not now. Not when we're still so new to each other.

"You want me to hide, or what?" he asks with a smile on his face, scooping his clothes up from the floor. His shirt is in the living room, so I pick it up and hand it to him.

"Yeah, get in the shower stall, but pull the curtain closed. Leave the door open, or she'll get suspicious. Hurry."

He hops on one foot as he pulls his jeans on, then steps into the shower and slides the curtain across the bar. Once the apartment is silent, I slowly walk to the door.

"Rose? What are you doing here?" I ask, standing in the doorway.

"Geez, Bells, took you long enough. You gonna let me in, or am I gonna stand out here in the hall way all day?"

I sigh, moving to the side so that she can enter.

"Where you asleep? You look like shit, girl."

"Oh, thanks. That makes me feel good. And yeah, I was asleep. I don't normally have visitors at the butt crack of dawn." I slouch down onto the sofa, hoping she'll see how tired I am and get to the point.

"Yeah, okay, whatever. So, I brought some supplies to you. I'm on my way to Port Angeles to do some shopping. I thought I'd stop and see if you wanted to join me?"

"Oh, um...I probably shouldn't. I need to shower and stuff, I'm not really ready to go."

"Well, go shower, I'll wait. Wash that smell off you, whatever that is." She scrunches up her face and waves her hand in front of her nose. "Ew, Bella, what is that, anyway?"

It's then that it dawns on me...my apartment reeks of sex. I'm not sure what to say to her, and I stutter with my words.

"Is that sex, Bella? I mean, it smells like sex, but who would you-" She turns to look me in the eye. "You got a guy up here?" she whispers, glancing around the room.

I decide to go along with it, and just leave names out. "Yeah, which is why I didn't want to answer the door. Maybe if you could go wait in the bar or at the cafe or something, I could finish up with him and then I can go shopping with you, okay?"

She smiles. "Who is it? Is it that Mike guy from the club? It is, isn't it? He's so cute, Bella!"

I let out a huff. Edward can hear everything we're saying, and I know this won't make him happy.

"I'm not saying. Just go, okay? Give me half an hour and then I'll be ready."

She laughs as I push her out the door. Once it's locked and I'm alone in the living room, I rest my forehead against the door and breathe. I don't move until I hear a growl behind me.

"Newton? Really, Bella? So Rose thinks Newton would be better for you than me?"

"No, it's not that. Look, you know she doesn't like fisherman. She only likes Mike because he has a steady job that doesn't involve him spending weeks at a time on the deck of a boat. It's not Mike, specifically, that she likes. It's the idea of a man on land. That's it."

His nostrils are flared and he's breathing hard. It's sexy as hell, and I slowly walk toward him.

"I'm not Rose, Edward. I don't like the things she likes. Not all the time, anyway. And I'm happy with you, so just leave it alone, okay? Nothing is ever gonna happen with me and Mike, don't worry."

I stretch up to kiss his lips, maintaining eye contact as I do.

"Shower with me?" I ask softly, my hands spreading out on his chest and guiding him back toward the bathroom. I'm not sure what's gotten into him, but I know I don't want him leaving with us on a bad note.

Half an hour later, after being thoroughly ravished by Edward and with Rose's car still sitting in the parking lot, I ask him to wait in my apartment until we've left. I can't risk her seeing him, and if I know Rosalie at all, she's camped out at the foot of the stairs, waiting to see the man I've spent my morning with.

"I'll see you next week," he says, kissing my neck, my ear, and my cheek. After our round of shower sex, he's back to being content and his normal self, which I'm relieved about.

"See you next week. Good luck, and be careful," I whisper against his lips.

"Always am."

Walking through the door, I look at him as long as I can, until finally the door is pulled closed. And I'm right, Rose is waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

~*0*~

Rosalie asks a million questions during the drive to Port Angeles. My head is spinning and I almost give up and just tell her it's not Mike that I'm doing the horizontal mambo with. Then I get a hold of my head and shut up. After I threaten to screw the first sailor I see in the bar that night, she finally stops asking about my love life and moves on to talking about her wedding. That's the reason for the shopping spree today—she wants me to be her maid of honor.

We spend the afternoon looking at dresses in a couple of bridal shops, getting ideas on colors and styles. I try to pick out the ugliest dresses, or the sleaziest ones, just to see her face turn red. She deserves to think I actually like them. It's payback for her non-stop questions this morning.

"Hey, do you mind if I run over to that bookstore really quick? I need to get some new things to read. I should probably exercise my brain with something other than sitcoms and Words With Friends."

Rose smiles, remembering how much I used to love to read when we were younger. "Sure, I'll meet you at the car in half an hour, okay?"

With that, I'm off, strolling up and down the aisles of a quaint little bookstore just down the street from the bridal shop where Rose is busy picking out her announcements.

"Bella? Bella Swan, is that you?" I hear from behind me. I put back the erotic novel I was looking over and turn around. Behind me stands a man I haven't seen since my teenage years.

"Jacob?"

He smiles, his teeth white and blinding. I'm caught off guard as he steps closer and swoops me into his arms. "It is you! I knew it! How you been, Belly Boo?"

He makes me laugh with the nickname he gave me when I was seven. I had no fashion sense and let Rose talk me into wearing a cropped midriff shirt, which showed off my ghostly white skin. After that, I was referred to as Belly Boo by Jake and his group of friends.

Jake's older than me by five years, and his dad has always been one of my dad's closest friends. I've known them for as long as I can remember, and I tighten my hold on him as he lifts me off the ground.

"Hey Jake. I'm good, how are you?"

"Great. Your dad told me you were moving up. Running the Clallam bar, huh? You liking it so far?"

I nod. "Yeah, it's great. A real change of scenery, that's for sure, but I like it. What have you been up to?"

"I'm working for the sheriff's office, I'm a deputy there. I'm actually the assistant to the chief, but that's just more of a fancy title. There aren't many deputies in our department, so it's not hard to work your way to the top, you know?"

A smile spreads across my face. Jacob always wanted to be a police officer, just like his older cousin Sam. "That's great, I'm proud of you. Even if it is an easy gig to get."

"Hey now, just because the chief is my cousin doesn't mean I didn't have to work for my job," he teases.

"Sam is the chief?"

"Yeah, freaky huh?"

It is a bit freaky, as he says, but it makes sense. We stand in the aisle and catch up, him telling me all about his dad, and then surprising me by mentioning that he has a fiancee.

"You're getting married?" I ask, happy for him and that his life has turned out so well.

"Yeah, this summer. You'll have to come with your dad. Claire's great, I think you'll love her."

After a few more minutes, he tells me he needs to go, that he's just on his lunch break. I promise to call him if I have any issues with the bar, and he gives me his cell phone number. Once I finish selecting and paying for my books, I'm hurrying to meet up with Rose, who is waiting at her car.

"You'll never guess who I just ran into," I tell her with a smile on my face.

"Who?"

"Jacob Black."

She starts to laugh. "Oh Bella, you always had such a huge crush on him."

"I did not!" I say, slapping at her arm.

"Whatever, you know you did."

We laugh and joke the whole way home, enjoying ourselves and having fun like we always do. For a few hours I even forget that once I'm home, I'll be facing a week and a half with no Edward. But I'm quickly reminded the moment I step foot in my apartment, and see his undershirt laying on my bed with a note.

_While I'm away, wear this when you sleep. And nothing else. I'm taking it with me next time I set sail._

I hold it up to my nose and breathe in his scent. It's musky and manly, and I can smell the salt that is always present on his skin. It makes me miss him that much more, and I quickly shed my clothes, pulling his shirt over my head and snuggling into my bed. I ache for him already, yet I have no right to.

~*0*~

Over the next ten days, I hear things about Edward. He dated this woman, he shacked up for a few weeks with that woman, he was believed to have fathered this baby, he broke the heart of that woman. Men seem to respect and almost worship him. Women seem to just want in his bed. I can tell from many of the comments that most of them have been there at least once, but none of them talk about the Edward I know. They never laid in bed with him talking about their lives. They never had him show up at their house looking for them the morning after. Shockingly enough, the one thing that many of them did experience was the whole "Let's Watch Jasper and Alice Get It On" thing. Several of them were appalled, and left. Others stayed and asked if they could join in with Alice and Jasper. From what I hear, Edward and I have something different than what these women had with him. And I like it.

Jake comes by several days later, and it's nice to see him. He shows me a picture of him and Claire, and of their two year old daughter, Rachel. She's beautiful, with dark sparkling eyes and rosy pink cheeks. He invites me to a barbeque at his dad's house this coming weekend, and I want to accept, but I know Edward's coming back into town on Saturday, and I'm hesitant to commit.

It's Friday when my dad calls and asks me to come to Forks on Sunday. As much as I want to stay in bed and wait for Edward, I can't say no. My dad never asks me to come visit, so I know it's something I have to do.

Saturday evening after my shift, I head over to Edward's apartment, hoping he's there, but all I find is a dark, quiet apartment. I'm still uncertain about his boat or where he docks, but I have nothing better to do, so I drive over to the marina and park, walking down to the piers that run along side the area where the boats dock. Even though the sun has set, men are still scurrying around, moving things and getting their boats situated and ready to go. I find a bench and sit down, watching with wide eyed fascination. Edward does this every day, and I know nothing about it. But I want to. I want to know him and what his life is like. So I watch, and I look for him, but I don't see him.

After an hour or so, my stomach growls and I decide I should eat something before I go home. For all I know, Edward may be there waiting for me, and to see if I've been wearing his shirt. There's a little food stand near the dock manager's office, and I decide to check it out. I'm stunned when I round the corner and find Edward leaning against the counter, talking rather intensely to the woman working behind it. I want nothing more than to listen in on their conversation, but before I can step back a few feet and hide myself, she spots me.

"Can I help you?" she asks, and Edward turns around. The look on his face tells me he wasn't expecting to see me here. It also tells me that he isn't too concerned about me "catching him" with another woman.

I glance over the menu board and order my food, not saying a word to Edward. He stands silent next to me, a smirk crossing his face every so often, as though he's amused about something. Once I have my food, I thank the woman, whose name tag says Jane, and I turn and walk back to my car. I half way expect to hear Edward running after me, but he doesn't.

Sitting in my car, I eat my dinner. I'm too upset to drive home, so I decide it's best if I just sit and let my emotions run their course. If I'm being honest with myself, I'm really just waiting for Edward to come looking for me. He has to know I'm upset, right? Wouldn't he want to see me, after being away for ten days? It's several minutes later that I hear a soft knock on my window. It's Edward. We stare at each other for a few moments, neither of us making a move toward the other. After what seems like hours, he smiles, shakes his head, and walks away.

I'm not sure what just happened between us, but it sets off a whole new round of tears for me. Turning on my car, I hurry back to the bar and my apartment, then rush up the back stairs and into the safety of my little cocoon. I pull Edward's shirt on and slide into bed, wiping away my tears as I try to fall asleep. I don't know what this man has done to me, but I'm so messed up over him, I can't even tell which way is up anymore.

For the sake of my own sanity, I need to find a way to end this. And it needs to be soon.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: I know, WTF? Don't worry, you'll find out soon... :) **

**You know I like the angst. :) It makes things so much better. :D**

**A few of you have found me on Facebook, and I added you to the group I got going there. :) If you want in, find me. Beegurl OneThree FanFickee. I like the banner on the group...it's pretty. :)**

**Happy Mother's Day to those of you that are celebrating it. And Happy Birthday to my favorite British boy ever. Although I don't know that I can call him a boy since he's turning 26 today... Not like he'll ever see this... :D**


	9. Chapter 9 Department Store

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #8 – Department Store  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own are several cute little Mother's Day cards and some pretty flowers and a batch of homemade fried zucchini and fresh chocolate cake pops. My family did pretty good this year. :) The hubs even made the kids do the laundry, clean the living room, cook dinner, and wash the dishes. Wow...I think I'm still in shock. :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**Ready to find out what crawled up Edward's butt and died? Oh golly...poor guy. :D Sometimes it sucks dealing with new emotions that you just can't make heads or tails of. :D**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 9**

**~*0*~ Department Store ~*0*~**

When I finally turn off the alarm on my clock, it's almost ten thirty in the morning, and I know I'm going to be late to Jake's barbeque. One look in the mirror has me realizing just how late I'll be. My eyes are red and puffy, with huge bags under them. Anyone who sees me will know instantly that I've been crying. That's a conversation I really don't want to have with my father.

I quickly call him to let him know I'm running behind and that I'll just meet him at Jake's house. A sense of relief washes over me when he informs me that Jake lives right next door to his dad. I know where that is, I could probably drive there in my sleep. My dad also lets me know that Rose and Emmett will be at the barbeque, as well as some of Jake and Claire's friends. It seems like a lot of people for a random Sunday afternoon, but once I get there, I find out why. It's kind of an unofficial engagement party for Jake and Claire, and I instantly feel out of place and alone.

"Bella, come meet Claire and Rachel," Jake says, ushering me over to the table where they're sitting. Claire is nice, very sweet and funny, and Rachel appears to be a dare devil. She's completely her father's child, and I feel a little sorry for Claire as she chases after the tiny terror all afternoon. Jake's cousin Sam and his wife Emily are there, as well as Jake's friends from the old days, Quil and Tyler. Another police officer, Ben, is there, and Jake tries and tries to get me talking to any one of them.

"I don't want to be set up, Jacob. That's not why I came here, so knock it off. Please."

After a few apologies, he finally gives up, and I sit down next to Charlie. It's relaxing and there's no pressure with him. It's nice to sit and talk to him like an adult, though it's a little strange. This is the first time we've really had this kind of relationship, something other than parent and child, and I feel like it will take some getting used to for both of us.

Rose, Emmett, and Alice show up in the early evening, and though Alice is friendly toward me, I can't get the memory of her and Jasper together out of my head. I know it's wrong, but it's there.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I ask her, pulling her away from the rest of the crowd.

"What's up?" she asks. "I'm not staying long, I'm gonna go meet Jasper tonight."

"This won't take long. Um...I'm not really sure how to say this, but uh..." I'm so nervous and uncomfortable. I have no idea how to bring up the subject, other than just blurting it out, so that's what I do. "That night after we went to the movies, you remember?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, Edward and I ended up in his apartment, and we went into his bedroom-"

"Ooooo, Bella got some! I knew you'd like him! Jasper had his doubts, especially after you guys were fighting, but I told him-"

"We saw you and Jasper having sex!"

Her words suddenly stop, and she's staring at me. I don't know to say, so I just look at the ground as I let the word vomit spew.

"I didn't know it was you. Edward just said to watch out the window, and he was doing things to me, and I saw this couple, and it was really erotic and I was all worked up, and I didn't know it was you until too late, but then I kept watching because Edward said that you knew, and, um..." I pause and take a deep breath. "Can we still be friends after this?"

After a few silent moments, I look up and watch her face closely, hoping she won't flip out and cause a scene. Instead of being angry, she begins to laugh.

"Oh Bella, I don't care. I was hoping he'd get you into his room some way, and if he did, then I knew that you'd see us. Why do you think we left the blinds open and the lights on? It's not like this is the first time he's had a girl watch us."

The realization that the things I heard about Edward are true makes my stomach twist, and Alice places her hand on my arm, looking at me with a concerned look on her face.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry, I figured you knew he did that with girls. Edward's kind of...well, he's kinda kinky, I guess. I mean, most hot single guys are, or want to be, anyway. He's just been given a lot more opportunities than most guys, I guess. It's okay, Bella. He didn't say anything to us ahead of time, in case you were wondering, but I just kind of figured it might happen with you two. Plus, the thought of being watched is kinda hot, don't you think?"

Alice is so easy going about all of this, and it surprises me. I led a kind of wild life in college, especially, but I was always discreet about it, and rarely mentioned it to anyone other than my roommate.

"I heard things this week, about him. It just made me question what was happening between us. But it doesn't really matter anyway. He broke up with me. I think."

She crosses her arms over her chest. "Oh, so that's what's going on, huh? Jasper said Edward was all mopey and mad today, and actually the whole trip last week. He couldn't figure out what the deal was. I guess now we know." She sighs and looks closer at me, most likely noticing my still slightly puffy eyes. "Wanna talk about it?"

I shake my head. "No, because I don't even know what happened. I heard all these things and then I saw him talking to some woman that works in a food place out on the docks, and then he walked away from me without a word. Like, he was mad at me or something." I can't keep my eyes from tearing up again, but I try my hardest not to cry. "Why would he be upset with me? I didn't do anything wrong."

"I don't know, Bella. I think you should talk to him, though. See what the deal is before you just jump to conclusions. He really likes you, at least more than any other girl I've ever seen him with. And Jasper said the same thing. Just give him a chance, okay?"

After I promise her that I'll talk to him, if he approaches me, Alice leaves for her night with Jasper and I return to my seat next to my dad. Even though I'm sitting with him, listening to the conversations going on around me, my mind isn't here. It's in Clallam Bay, with a certain man who may or may not be thinking about me, too. I only wish I knew if he was.

~*0*~

My dad asks me to stay the night, declaring that midnight is far too late for me to be driving back to Clallam Bay. After reminding him that I'm opening up the bar in the morning, he lets me go, making me promise that I'll call him as soon as I get home. The drive is nice and quiet. The road is dark and clear, and I don't pass one other car the whole trip. It's only about a half an hour drive, but it does wonders for clearing my head.

Once I'm home, I hurry up to my apartment, put my normal pajama's on, and tuck Edward's T-shirt into a drawer. Out of sight, out of mind, is what they always say. I'm just hoping it's true. I don't need any more reminders of what I'm missing out on, especially when a wayward thought creeps into my head. As I lie in bed, the coolness of my sheets caressing my skin, I remember what it feels like to lay with Edward's arms around me—his fingers gliding up and down my body. Then I wonder if some other woman has them around her tonight. How soon will he move on from me? Will he parade his new women in and out of the bar, just to hurt me? Will he make a mockery of the way I felt for him by degrading what we had? Or what I imagined we might have had. Those thoughts break my heart, and I feel tears slide down my face as I pull my covers tighter around me.

I miss Edward, but apparently he doesn't feel the same. And I have no idea why.

At some point I must have fallen asleep, because I'm awoken by a pounding on the back staircase door, and when I roll over to check my clock, it says it's just a little before four in the morning. Assuming it's probably some drunk who's just angry that we aren't open, I roll over and try to go back to sleep. It's the yelling of my name that makes me bolt out of bed. I know it's his voice, and it's him knocking on the door. What I don't know is why.

Looking out the window of my room, I can see him outside, standing on the sidewalk that surrounds the building. He's looking up at my window, so I know he sees me.

"Bella!" he yells, and I let go of the blinds. I guess I'll have to talk to him. With all the commotion he's making, he'll be waking up everyone in town soon. And I really don't need to have Jake or one of the other deputies called out because of my love life.

I slip a pair of flip flops on and slowly trudge down the stairs. Before opening the door, I take a few quick breaths, trying to gather my wits about me. Finally, I unlock the door and open it, coming face to face with Edward.

I can tell by his expression that he's angry, though I don't know why. There are so many things I don't know about this man, and so many more that I would give my left ear to find out.

"What do you want?" I ask, my voice betraying me with a tremble. It's obvious that I'm not in a good state of mind, and I hope Edward respects me enough to recognize that.

"You gonna let me in, or what?" he asks.

"You wanna come in? Why?"

"Just let me in, Bella. We need to talk."

I agree, we do, so I effortlessly allow the door to open a little more, granting him entrance. He walks past me, and goes straight up the stairs. After securing the door, I follow him up, all the while knowing my night is over, because Edward clearly has something on his mind, and it won't wait.

He's standing in the middle of my living room when I finally walk back into the apartment. I may have taken a little longer than usual to ascent the stairs, but really, who's excited about arriving at their own execution? I feel like that's what this is, especially with the anger that seems to be radiating off of Edward.

"Where were you today? I came by like, five times and you weren't here."

"It's none of your business where I was," I say, moving around him toward the kitchen. If we're going to be at this for a while, I'm going to need coffee.

"Why is it not my business? Who were you with?" His voice seems to rise a little higher with each question and I'm curious why he even cares where I was.

"I was out, okay? Not that you care, anyway."

"What do you mean not that I care? I was looking for you, so obviously I'm concerned."

"Really? 'Cause you have a funny way of showing it, flirting with other girls in front of me and then just walking away from me. Thanks for that, by the way. Really adult of you."

His hand is on the back of his neck as he rubs his fingers into his muscles. "You jump to conclusions a lot, do you know that?"

"You woke me up at four a.m. to tell me this? Really?"

"Well, I'm glad that you're so unaffected by all this shit that you can just fall right to sleep after your full and exciting day. I, on the other hand, have barely slept this past week, and I didn't sleep at all last night or tonight. All last night I kept walking over here and almost knocking, then turning around going home, where I would sit for an hour and then walk right back over here."

His confession shocks me. Why would he be losing sleep over me? And walking to my house several times last night? I'm so confused by all this. It doesn't sound like the actions of a man who doesn't care about a woman.

"What do you want, Edward? Please just tell me because I have no idea what's going on." I know my voice sounds lifeless, and I'm tired. I'm tired of whatever is going on between us. I need this to end before I completely lose myself to the sadness that's building up in me.

He paces back and forth, then stops and stares at me for a few moments before speaking in a low voice. "Who is he?"

"Who is who?" I'm completely caught off guard and I have no idea what he's talking about.

"The other guy. Who is he? Just tell me, I wanna know."

"What other guy? There is no other guy. What are you talking about?"

"Don't screw with me, Bella. I know there's another guy. A guy from Port Angeles."

Port Angeles? I think to myself. I don't know anyone in Port Angeles.

"What? You're not making any sense to me. I don't know any men in Port Angeles. I swear, I don't. What's going on here?"

"You tell me. What about your last trip to Port Angeles, when you went with Rose. If you really even went with Rose."

"My trip with Rose was to do shopping for her wedding. I spent the day with her in bridal boutiques, trying on more dresses than any woman should ever have to wear, in colors that I don't even think exist in nature. And there weren't any men in any of those stores, trust me."

His eyes burn into mine. "You spent the whole day in bridal stores, huh? No detours to any other places, like maybe department stores or grocery stores or book stores?"

"Oh, well yeah, I went into a book store and bought a few books. I needed something read while you were gone."

I can't figure out what he's getting at, or how he knows I went to the book store during my trip. I half way start to wonder if he was following me, but then I realize how crazy that sounds. We aren't even in a relationship, so why should he care what I do when I'm away from him? Feeling anger start to build over the idea of his apparent double standards, I decide to distract myself by getting coffee mugs ready.

"So you just go around hugging random men in book stores? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Hugging random men... Jacob? Is that what this is about?

"Jake? You mean Jacob?" I ask in disbelief.

"Jake, is that his name? The big police officer you were practically fucking in the book store aisle?"

"What? No, Jake is a family friend. I've known him since before I could walk or talk. He's like a brother to me."

Jake I can handle. If this whole thing is just a big misunderstanding, I can fix this. Maybe, if this is all he's angry about, I can make it better. I won't have to lose Edward.

"A family friend? Really?"

"Yes. Edward, I swear, his dad and my dad are best friends. You've got this all wrong. Jake is like my brother. That's it. I haven't seen him in years, and I was there getting some books because I knew I'd be bored without you here, and he happened to be there on his lunch break. I hugged him and talked to him and he showed me pictures of his fiancee and their daughter. Please, Edward, that's it. That's all that happened."

He just stares at me, like he's not sure if he should believe me or not.

"And I was in Forks today with my dad at a barbeque at Jake's house. It was he and Claire's engagement party with some of their family and friends. I didn't want to go, I wanted to be here to see you, but my dad asked me to. I couldn't say no. And then with the way you walked away from me last night, I figured we were over. I thought you wouldn't want to see me anymore, and I didn't want to be here alone."

Edward's eyes are still fixed on mine and I know he's trying to decide for himself whether or not I'm telling the truth. I slowly walk toward him, holding my hands out and touching his arms when I'm within reach of him.

"Edward, I'm telling the truth. There's no one else."

The fact that I'm almost begging him to believe me kind of makes me angry, and I suddenly want to know about Jane and all the things I heard about him while he was gone.

"You promise, there's no other guy?" he asks.

"I promise." I keep eye contact with him, hoping he'll see the sincerity in mine. He sighs and seems to relax a bit, but now it's my turn to ask some questions. Steeling my nerves, I start. "I need to know something. Who's Jane, that woman from the food place last night? The one you were flirting with."

His eyes squint just a bit and I watch as his Adam's apple bobs when he swallows. "She's just a friend. I wasn't flirting or anything, just talking to her."

"Yeah? You talk like that to all of your friends? I'm just curious, because I heard a lot of things about you this past week, and I'm just not sure what to think."

I turn around and walk back into the kitchen, checking the coffee maker to see how much longer it will be.

"Bella, I told you, I have a past. I've been with a lot of women around here. Obviously, some of them didn't take it well when we stopped seeing each other, but I can't help what they say and do. I don't want them anymore. If I did, I'd be with them, not you."

"So have you ever dated Jane? What was all that about last night?" I need to know who she was. If this is something I'm going to run into everywhere I go, I don't think I'll be able to handle it. I'd be better off ending things now.

"No, I never dated Jane. She was with one of the guys on my crew, Jared. They just broke up not too long ago, and she was asking how he is. She's worried about him, that's it."

"But you just got into town a few weeks ago. How did they break up?" I'm confused. I thought most fishermen didn't have long distance girlfriends.

"No, Jared lives in Seattle. He only fishes with me for the season. Jane's from there, her parents are friends with my parents. She's how I met Jared a couple years back."

"And what about Rose?"

He doesn't say anything for a few moments. My stomach kinks and twists, and I don't like the silence, yet I continue to face my cabinets, not wanting to see Edward's face.

"What about Rose?" he quietly asks.

"How do you know her? Is she one of the women from your past?" I need to know, and I need to know now.

"Bella, I don't really-"

"Tell me! Is she? Because she's my cousin and one of the people I love most in the world. And if you and her were ever fuck buddies, I need to know right now."

"No, we weren't. I swear, nothing ever happened between us. I saw her working the bar here a few times. I might have flirted a little, but nothing too extreme. I'm not gonna lie, if she'd been interested, I wouldn't have said no. But nothing happened. I promise you, nothing."

I pour the steaming hot coffee into two mugs and turn around to place them on the counter top that stands between us.

"You swear on your life?" I whisper.

"I swear on my life, Bella. I'm not lying to you."

There's so much I'll have to get over if I want to be with Edward. Learning to trust him goes along with that, and even though I'm not sure I can do it, I have to try.

Looking up into his eyes, I let out a sigh. "Okay, I believe you."

We sit down on the bar stools and drink our coffee, the room completely silent except for our breathing and drinking. Once he's done, Edward puts his cup down and turns to look at me.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asks, his eyes searching mine and showing a vulnerability that I haven't seen before.

"No," is all I can say. His hand moves across the space between us and covers my thigh. I notice that the windows are starting to get a little bit lighter, and that most likely the sun is beginning to rise.

"Where's the shirt I gave you? I was really hoping to see you in it."

His voice is sweet and hopeful, and I can't tell him no. "I put it in a drawer tonight when I went to bed. I didn't want to think about you, or imagine you with someone else."

He leans toward me and lightly kisses my cheek. "I'm not with anyone else, just you. Can I see you in my shirt? Please?"

I let out a deep breath. "I guess. Just let me clean this up."

"I got it, don't worry." With that, he's up and carrying our mugs to the sink. I hurry into my bedroom, stepping out of my shorts and underwear, then pulling my top off before sliding his T-shirt over myself. I walk back to the doorway and see him waiting in the living room. His shoes are off, and he's standing there waiting for me. "You look beautiful."

A smile grows across my face, and I reach for him, leading him to my bed. I climb in and wait while he strips down to his boxers, then I feel him curl around me, spooning me as we settle into my sheets. It feels so right and so normal having him here with me. Before I know it, I hear him softly snoring, and then exhaustion overtakes me as well.

~*0*~

The next couple of months pass by, sometimes quickly, and sometimes slowly. When Edward is with me, the time flies by. We have a few arguments here and there, but for the most part we're happy and content together. He stays at my place more often than I stay at his, which is fine with me. We manage to keep things relatively low key, and no one knows about us aside from Alice, Jasper, Leah, and Mike.

The sex is amazing. In all my experiences, I've never felt more satisfied than I do with Edward. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that both of us are able to contribute. It's not just him pushing me, or me doing things to shock him, it's both of us. We're equal partners when it comes to the bedroom, and it makes me happy. Plus, I feel like maybe—just maybe—I give him something no other woman has ever given him before. Maybe that's why he stays.

The closer the end of the season gets, the more anxious I begin to feel. I know Edward will be leaving soon, and even though I know he plans to return the next year, I don't know if he'll be interested in seeing me again. He tells me that he's never really been with one woman this long before, and that he's definitely never been exclusive with one woman for this amount of time. While that worries me in regards to any future we might have together, I take it for what it's worth, and try to make the most of the time we have left together.

Rosalie continues to ask about my new boyfriend, telling me that if I don't give her some details, she's going to try setting me up. I'm not too worried, especially since all of her spare time is spent either planning her wedding or hanging out with Emmett.

It's October and two weeks before Edward's final departure date, and we're lying in bed early one Wednesday morning. He's spent the night again, and as he traces his fingers up and down my side, he talks about random things.

"Oh hey, did I tell you it's Jasper's birthday a couple days before we leave?"

"No, why?" This is the first I've heard of it, and there must be some reason he mentions it.

"Well, he and I were wondering if you and Alice want to go out to a club or something. Alice likes to dance, and I was thinking you did, too. Would you like that? Tuesday night in two weeks?"

Drinking and dancing with Edward? Sign me up. "I would love it, yeah."

"'Kay, I'll tell Jasper. I think Alice is gonna make all the arrangements and stuff. You know, I'm glad I met you this year. Now when we leave, you and Alice will both have someone to spend your free time with. I know last year Alice got pretty lonely. She would call Jasper and cry and cry."

"How did she call him? I thought you said you guys didn't have any cell phones with you on the boat."

Edward has taken me on his boat a few times. And "taken" me there in more ways than one. The last time he took me up into the bridge and showed me all the instruments he uses when sailing the boat. It was very confusing, especially for someone who's never been on anything larger than a row boat before. But I loved seeing him in his element, and when he sailed out of the harbor and into the channel, on our way toward the Pacific, he let me steer a bit. It was exciting and exhilarating, and when he pushed his cock into me from behind as I guided his boat, I nearly lost it. It's one of my favorite memories with him, and I know it's not something I'll soon forget.

Edward tells me something that surprises me, yet makes complete sense coming from him. As we're spending the day on the boat, he tells me that he doesn't own a cell phone, and that he doesn't have an email account. They're things I'd never thought about before, but they make sense. I've never seen him talking on a cell phone, and I've never seen him playing on a computer. Why those two things escaped my notice, I'm not sure, but they worry me a bit. How will I stay in touch with him when he's gone? Remembering that makes me curious as to how Alice keeps in contact with Jasper, especially once Edward's mentioned her calling while they're away.

"Oh, Jasper has a phone, so she calls him on that. It's got some kind of satellite transmission or something, so it usually works when we're out to sea."

"I though you said you didn't have anything like that on the boat, or even just in your life."

I'm confused. Was he feeding me a line, trying to get out of having to keep in contact with me while he's away? I'm hoping that's not the case, especially since I've been so nonchalant about our relationship.

"I don't have those things. I told you, if my parents need to get a hold of me, they can contact me on the boat phone, or they can activate the boat's GPS and see where I am. Aside from them, the companies I work for, and my crew, there's no one else I need to get a hold of."

His careless tone of voice makes me cringe and want to cry. It's a good reminder of the fact that Edward will leave soon, and I'll get nothing from him until next year—and even that's not a guarantee. The reality makes me tear up, and swipe at my cheeks to hide the tears before he discovers them.

"Bella, baby, this is why I told you from the beginning that I don't want a relationship. It just never works out."

~*0*~

Alice comes into the bar one afternoon, a few days before Edward is scheduled to be back in port. He's on his last trip of the season, and all I know is that he's planning to spend a few days in Clallam Bay before he and most of his crew head south to Argentina.

"So Tuesday night, we're partying in Port Angeles, okay?" she says.

"Sure, sounds good."

"Edward volunteered to be the D.D. so, the rest of us can drink and get completely shitfaced. I'm so excited!"

I know Alice is a party girl, and she misses out on that here in Washington. We discuss outfits a little bit, and she tells me that she's going shopping in Seattle on Sunday if I want to go. There are supposed to be some big sales going on at a few department stores, and she wants to get a some things. It sounds like a good idea, and I wonder if maybe I'll be able to find something new that will really wow Edward and make him think twice about leaving me behind. I want to give him something amazing to remember me by, and I really hope that when he returns next season, he'll still want me. We have something together, whether he chooses to acknowledge it or not. But I'm willing to wait if I have to. He can't honestly never want to settle down, can he?

Tuesday evening finds me dressed in a new shirt and the denim mini skirt I bought over the weekend. The shirt is sheer and blue, which is a color Edward says he loves on me. The black lacy bra I'm wearing underneath it matches the black lace thong I have on, and I really hope Edward will be pealing them both off of me before the night's end.

Edward and Jasper are in relatively good moods when they get to the bar, and Alice is smiling so big that I'm sure her cheeks must be killing her. The club we go to seems crowded for a Tuesday night, but we still manage to drink and dance and have a wonderful time. And, lucky for me, there doesn't seem to be one Edward-Ex anywhere in sight. After he gropes me a little on the dance floor, we all end up at the table again, resting and drinking another round of shots. Edward sticks with soda so that he can stay sober and drive us home, but the rest of us are drunk. After downing so many drinks that I've lost track, I tell Edward in a slurred voice that being sober doesn't seem like much fun to me. He flashes his best grin, then whispers into my ear that watching me be so uninhibited makes him happy, and he's having a great time.

"Oh, I love this song!" Alice yells. I see Jasper roll his eyes and protest when she tries to drag him out of the booth. A memory from college floats through my bleary mind, and I kiss Edward on the cheek quickly, before jumping up and grabbing Alice's hand.

"Come on, just us!" I tell her, and she smiles as she follows me onto the floor.

We're dancing and swaying and laughing through the song, trying to show off for our guys who are sitting in the booth, watching every move we make. I'm sure we look like silly, giggling college girls who have had too much to drink, since we're practically falling all over ourselves, but I feel sexy, and the way Edward watches me magnifies that feeling ten fold. When the song changes to something much slower, with a deep driving beat, I contemplate walking off the floor. Turning to ask Alice, I feel her hands grab my hips and pull me against her.

"Let's give them a show, okay?" she yells over the music. Smiling at her idea, which is right on track with my college memory, I turn her around and pull her against me, her back to my front.

We watch as both men sit up in their seats, their eyes glued on us. Alice runs her left hand up her body and reaches around, placing it on the back of my head, bringing me down and closer to her. My hands are on her hips, and I slide my right one up and onto her stomach, under her shirt. Her skin is so soft and smooth, and with the smell of her perfume strong in my nose, I can't help the feelings running through my drunken body.

I don't fight it when her lips meet mine, and I don't protest when our tongues begin to twist and turn together. She tastes like sugar and whatever liquor it is she just drank. The little sighs she makes each time I push my tongue against hers has me tingling, and in my mind I start to wish Edward was behind me, and that I could have them both right now.

When we break our kiss, I look up. My drunken glance at our boys shows me everything I need to know. Jasper's having a really good birthday. And Edward seems to be enjoying our little show, too.

Time to turn things up a notch. Let's see just how kinky Edward likes it.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: :D Oh Bella... :D Hope you're ready for more kink. :) 'Cause...next chapter we get our kink on. And I know _RoseArcadia_ is excited for it. :)  
**


	10. Chapter 10 Green House

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #11 – Green House  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a Mother's Day card that I got today from my sweet wifey. I wonder if they make Memorial Day cards... I need to check and see. :D Of course, that leaves her with Flag Day as the next holiday in our greeting card tag game. Good luck there, babe! :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**I'm not even gonna say anything here. Bring on the kink! :D**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 10**

**~*0*~ Green House ~*0*~**

Alice and I stay on the dance floor for another song or two. By the time we're ready to go back to the table, every man within ten feet of us has tried to get at least one of us to dance with him. We don't, we're happy in our own drunken bubble. Her hands skim along the bottom hem of my skirt, reaching up every so often to tease me. Each time she does it, Edward stiffens a bit more, and I can tell he's fighting to stay in his seat. Jasper just keeps drinking, and I wonder for a moment if he thinks it's all a drunken illusion.

"Let's go take these boys home," Alice says in my ear. She's facing me as we grind together and her hands are in the back pockets of my skirt. My right hand is on her waist, but my left is up her shirt, with my thumb rubbing back and forth along the bottom band of her bra.

"Sounds good."

We leave the dance floor, much to the dismay of the other men dancing nearby. Edward and Jasper are out of the booth in a flash and leading us to the door. I wonder, for a moment, if we'll even make it home. It's a bit of a drive back to Clallam Bay, and the hunger in their eyes tells me they're both pretty worked up and ready to go.

"Should we sit in the backseat and tease them on the way home?" Alice asks, giggling like she just said the funniest thing she's ever heard. As much as I'd like to do it, I don't think it's a good idea. Not with the way Edward is pulling me along with him.

"Nah, let's just wait until we get back to my place. We'll give them a treat then, okay?"

She smiles. "Okay, sounds like fun."

We get to the car and the guys help us into our seats, Edward buckling me in himself, before grabbing my face and kissing me with more passion than I've seen him possess before. For some reason, me and Alice's little show seems to have really affected him, and I watch as he adjusts himself before closing my door and running around to the driver's side.

The ride home is fun, with Alice and I singing along to whatever song is on the radio. It's even more fun when we don't know the words and make up our own. The boys seem anxious to get us home, and Alice can hardly keep Jasper from feeling her up right there in front of us. It makes me laugh, watching her push him away, and telling him to wait. Edward looks over at me every few minutes, watching me like I'm his prey or something. It's hot, and I can't help by lean over and kiss him, then suck on his neck as my hands rub up and down on his hardened cock.

"Hey Bella, none of that while we're driving!" Alice yells from the back. "Save it for at home, baby!"

I sit back in my seat with a pout, then cross my arms, waiting until we get home. She's so gonna get it.

~*0*~

We laugh and stumble toward the back stairs that lead to my apartment. I ask Edward if he wants to get a drink from the bar before we go up. I'm so drunk I can hardly see straight, but I know he's sober, and has some possessiveness issues when it comes to me. I figure a little liquor might lighten him up toward what I want to do, but he just growls at me and leads me to the stairs. It's not too late yet, and the bar is still open, so I try not to make too much noise and call attention to us.

Once we're inside the apartment, I lock the door and take Edward's arm. I pull him to the sofa and then guide him backward, telling him to sit down. I know he can see my bed from there, which is perfect for what I have planned. Alice and I grab Jasper's hands and pull him into my bedroom. There's a chair against the wall, and I tell him to sit, then I pull Alice across the room and to the foot of my bed.

There's something strange about guys. They're totally into it when two girls are naked and seeing each other get off, but two guys happening to see each other? For some reason they hate that. If only they knew how much it turns most women on, maybe they wouldn't be so close minded about it, but whatever. I'm far too drunk to try and right what's wrong in the world tonight. All I know is that both Edward and Jasper have a clear view of Alice and I, and they can't see each other. It's perfect.

Alice and I stop next to my bed, with the back of her legs hitting the edge of the mattress. I smile over at Jasper, who's sitting forward on the chair. "Happy birthday," I say before I place my hand on Alice's cheek and tilt her head up to mine. Her lips are soft and wet, and I kiss her gently at first, letting it grow into something much more risque as the seconds tick by.

My hands move to her waist and the hem of her shirt, and I pull up, taking it off of her. My mind is so blurry and hazy, that the quick action almost makes me stumble, but I steady myself quickly and get back to kissing her. Her arms wrap around my waist and I know she wants to get my shirt off, too, but I stop her.

"No, wait," I whisper, sliding my hands to the waistband of her skirt as I work at undoing the button and zipper. Once they're open, I push it over her hips and let it drop to the floor. She's standing there in only a red bra and thong, and I begin to kiss down her neck toward her collar bones.

Reaching around behind her, I find the closure of her bra and unhook it quickly, letting the ends fall away from each other. I lean back from her, and watch as I slide the straps off her shoulders and pull the lacy fabric away from her. Her breasts are bigger than I thought when I first saw them through the window all those weeks ago, but her nipples are pink and dark and begging for me to taste them.

I hear a groan from the side of the room, and look over to see Jasper leaning back in his chair, his hand rubbing slowly up and down over his still jean confined cock. I'm sure what I'm doing to Alice is driving him insane, and I wonder how long it will be until he's stroking himself.

It's kind of amazing, seeing a man's hardened penis for the first time. Not that I ever want to have sex with Jasper, even though he's a good looking guy, but I'm anxious to see it. It's a fascinating thing to watch a man's hand pump up and down his red, swollen shaft. And every man is different. Every cock is different. And seeing the desire in his eyes makes me excited to see his, and watch him pleasure himself while I take care of his girl.

Looking over toward Edward, I flash him a smile before turning back to Alice, who is breathing hard and fast as I skim my hands over her nearly naked body. Edward is relaxed on the sofa, one arm laying across the back of the couch, the other settled on the arm rest. I can tell from the stretch in his jeans that he's hard, and I'm curious to see how long he'll hold out before he begins touching himself.

"Sit down," I tell Alice, pushing slightly on her shoulders until she's seated on the bed. I lay her back, hovering over her as I kiss her lips for a few more moments. Then I start my descent. I kiss her neck, her collar bones, the upper swells of her breasts, her hardened nipples, her ribs, her stomach, her hip bones, and finally her thighs. When I look up at her once more, her eyes are watching me, and I tuck my fingers into the band of her panties, tugging lightly on them. She lifts just enough for me to slide them over her hips, then I pull them the rest of the way off. She's completely bare before me, and I look her over, taking in the beauty of her creamy skin, her goose bumped flesh, and her bare center. She told me she'd waxed, but I didn't really care until right now.

I kneel down next to the bed and place my hands on the insides of her knees, pressing them apart. The sight before me is something I've only seen a few times in my life—at least up close and personal like this. I love oral sex, both giving and getting it, and while doing it with men is great, there's just something different about women. The taste is always so much sweeter, and they always smell so good. I run my nose along her leg, up and up and up until I'm right where I want to be, and then I lick up along her folds, causing her to tremble and moan out loud.

For the next several minutes I lick her, suck her, taste her, and touch her before finally pumping my fingers into her pussy, coating them with her wetness. She's writhing in pleasure on the bed, her fingers twisting and pinching her nipples as I continue to give her what she wants. Jasper is full on stroking himself now, and Edward's not fairing much better. I can see him leaning forward, his forearms on his thighs as he watches and waits for his turn.

Soon Alice is shaking as she cums. I pull my fingers out and let my tongue lick up the juices that seep from her. Once she's calmed down, I kiss her thighs, then get up and move over her body again. I'm just intending to kiss her, and then leave her for Jasper, but she has other ideas.

"My turn," she says, then pushes me to stand as she sits up. I let her take off my shirt, tossing it to the floor, but when she starts for the clasp on my bra, I protest.

"No, that's Edward's," I say. She smiles, then moves on to my skirt. Once it's off and I'm left in just my underwear, her fingers dip into the right side of my bra, pulling it down and letting my nipple pop out. She takes it into her mouth, letting her tongue swirl over it again and again as her hands rake up and down my body.

"Come here," she says, laying back on the bed. I figure she means she wants me on top of her, but when I move to hover over her, she laughs. "No, silly. I want your pussy, here," she says, pointing to her mouth.

A quiver goes through me, and I climb onto the bed, one knee on each side of her. Soon enough I'm straddling her face, and her fingers are moving my panties aside as her tongue begins to flick my clit over and over again. Jasper's full on groaning and sweating in his chair, and when I glance over to Edward, I see his hand on his cock. He can't wait anymore, though he has yet to undo his pants.

I rock back and forth, enjoying the feel of Alice's lips, tongue, and teeth on me. My hands move over my body, and my head falls back as my eyes close. This is something I could do forever and ever, and it's not until I feel another hand on me and a low growl that I'm brought back to reality. Jasper is behind me, his cock out and hard and between Alice's thighs. His hand is on my hip, his fingers digging into my skin, and I can see a fire in Edward's eyes that I've never seen before. As much as I may want to stay right where I am, and enjoy the little menage a trois that seems to be starting, I need Edward.

Standing up from the bed, I walk into the living room, my eyes connected with Edward's. When I reach him, I lean down and undo his jeans, pulling them open and letting his rock hard dick out. I stand up between his legs and push my fingers into his mouth. He sucks them in, letting his tongue and lips take in any drop of Alice that's still there. He's like a starving man as I watch his eyes slide closed while I pump my fingers into his hot mouth over and over again. After a minute or two, I pull them away and reach for his hands.

"Strip me," I say, lifting his hands to the center clasp on the front of my bra. He does as I say, unhooking the bra and slowly removing it from my body. He's leaning forward, his lips taking in each of my nipples as his hands move to my panties, pulling them down and leaving them on the floor. I run my hands through his hair as I arch into him, loving the feel of him against me.

"Such a naughty girl you are," he says, his hands grabbing my hips and pulling me forward. I straddle his waist, hovering over his cock, and then slowly lower myself until he's completely filling me.

"Ugh, Edward, so good."

His hands stay on my hips, and he begins to move me back and forth. From the other room, I can hear the grunts and groans and slapping skin of Alice and Jasper, and I place my hands on the back of the couch, giving me more leverage. I slide up and down Edward's cock, letting him suck my tits as they bounce in front of his face.

"Bella, oh yeah," he says, mumbling a few swear words as I continue to ride him. The feeling is so much more intense with him than it was with Alice, and I can't stop myself from falling over the edge. I move faster and faster, thrusting down harder and harder, and he shifts up to meet me with each movement.

"Edward," I mumble as my head falls back and I begin to shake as my orgasm takes over my body. I can feel it from my toes to my fingers to my head, and it feels so good, I don't ever want it to stop. All the alcohol I drank earlier in the night just makes my ecstasy last that much longer, and soon I hear Edward grunting right along with me as he pounds up into me for all he's worth.

I can hear Jasper and Alice cursing and moaning behind me, though I can't see them. I tell myself that if we ever do this again, I'm putting a mirror on the wall behind the sofa before it happens. Especially since I can see Edward staring over my shoulder and watching the couple in the other room. Once I'm done, I turn for just a moment and see them laying still with each other, and Jasper kissing her hard, yet sweetly.

"Kiss me," Edward says, and I do. I know he can taste Alice on my lips, and I wonder if he likes it. I wonder if it tastes like she did on my fingers. I wonder if she tastes like other women he's been with. I wonder how many other women he's tasted. My mind begins to race, most likely due to the fact that I'm still drunk and no where near over my jealousy about his past romances. But I try to put it out of my mind for the moment and just enjoy him. I know I don't have him for much longer, and I don't want to ruin the time we do have left together.

After a few more minutes of kissing, I lean my head on Edward's shoulder and close my eyes. Before I know it, I'm asleep and when I wake up, I have no idea how long it's been, but my apartment is dark and Edward is still inside me, though he's soft.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"It's been an hour or so. Jasper and Alice left a while ago. It's still late, I don't have to leave for a few more hours. You want to go to bed?"

I mumble a yes, and soon I feel him lifting me into his arms and carrying me to my bed. I watch through bleary eyes as he undresses and then slides in next to me, pulling me back into his arms.

I let myself melt against him, knowing in the back of my still fuzzy mind that I only have one more night with him after this. Beyond that, nothing is for certain. I don't know if he'll want me again, or if he'll even come back. But there's nothing I can do to stop the inevitable.

I have to let him go.

~*0*~

"Bella."

The room is still a little dark, and I pull the blanket over my head—which is pounding at the moment.

"Bella, wake up."

I can hear Edward's voice, and he's so loud. Then there's the ringing in my ears, that's loud, too.

"Come on, wake up. I have to go."

Edward's going? Going where? Suddenly I remember...he's leaving. Is that today? Is my time with him already up? I sit up quickly, everything spinning as I grab my head.

"Ohhhh, my head," I groan.

Edward quietly laughs as he sits next to me. "Maybe you shouldn't have drank so much last night, huh?"

"Yeah, whatever. How much did I drink?"

The whole night is hazy, but from the cotton mouth I've got going on, I think I drank a lot. I also seem to recall dancing and then fooling around here in my apartment. I hope I didn't do anything too embarrassing.

"You drank a lot, trust me. Enough to make you brave, let's just say that."

Brave? Oh, that doesn't sound good. "What did I do?"

I open one eye and stare him down when he doesn't say anything. His lips turn up in a handsome, yet devilish little smirk. "You and Alice gave Jasper a little birthday present. Lucky for me, I got to enjoy it, too."

Me and Alice? I'm trying to remember what we did, when all of the sudden images start flashing in my head.

"I fucked her?" I ask.

"Not quite, you tongue fucked her, which was just as good, in my opinion. Then she returned the favor before you finally put me out of my misery and fucked me."

"Ah crap, I haven't done that in so long. I hope I was good."

Edward laughs at me, reaching up and smoothing my hair down. I'm sure it looks crazy and wild, but my head hurts too much for me to care.

"Lie down, go back to sleep. I have to go. I'm pretty sure Jasper's going to be useless today, and I've got a lot to do if I'm going to leave town tomorrow."

His words remind me, yet again, that he's leaving for at least eight months tomorrow, if he comes back at all.

"Will I see you tonight?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm working this afternoon, but not tonight."

"Good, come over when you're done. If I'm not there, use the key in the bushes and let yourself in. Wait for me, I'll bring dinner."

"Okay," I say, snuggling back into my bed. His hand trails down my cheek a few times and I listen to him breathe.

"Bye, Bella," he whispers, before I feel him press a kiss to my forehead, then stand from the bed and walk out of the room. The front door clicks closed, and he's gone. I hold tight to my head, trying to put pressure where it hurts the most, and fall back asleep within minutes.

~*0*~

The day passes faster than I'd like, especially once my headache goes away. By evening, I know I need to go to Edward's, so that I can see him for as long as possible.

"Hey, Bella," Leah yells to me. I'm in the office, finishing up the small bit of paperwork I was able to get through today.

"Yeah?"

"I got something for you." In her hand she's holding a little pot with a plant in it. On the plant are some yellow bell shaped flowers. "You know my mom has that green house she grows all those plants in? Well, she loves growing flowers in it year round, and I saw this one and thought of you. It's called a Yellow Bell and it's native to Washington. I thought maybe you could give it to Edward, as a way for him to remember you. You know, Bells from Washington?"

Her gesture makes my eyes tear up. I'm already emotional over Edward leaving, but then for her to do something so thoughtful, especially when she hasn't been the biggest fan of me seeing Edward, just makes my heart swell with gratitude.

"Thank you so much, I love it."

She hugs me for several seconds, before pulling away from me.

"Edward's a good man, Bella. Just remember that, okay? I know this will be hard for you, but he's not doing it to hurt you, and he'll be back next year." She gently pushes my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ears. "Keep hold of your emotions until he's gone, okay? You can do it, I know you can."

I nod, hoping to convince myself as much as I want to convince her

Taking the plant, I leave the bar, walking over to Edward's apartment and enjoying the quiet night air. I can smell the salt from the water, and it reminds me of the way Edward smells. I know his leaving may break my heart, but I can't let him see it. I can't put pressure on him. He was honest with me from the very beginning of our relationship, and I can't ask for more than he was willing to give. Especially not when I agreed to his terms from the very first moment we were together.

His apartment is dark when I get here, so I find the spare key he told me about, and let myself in. I leave the lights off, curling up on the sofa while I wait. About an hour passes before I hear his key in the door.

"Hey, I thought you weren't here. Why are you sitting in the dark?" he asks, flipping on the lights.

I give him the best smile I can. "No reason, I was just taking in the quiet and thinking about what I'm going to do around here without you."

He smiles. "You'll stay so busy, you won't even know I'm gone. Plus, just think of all the time you can spend with your dad and Rose now that the off season is coming."

He sits down next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close.

"I brought burgers. You hungry?"

I'm not, but I say yes anyway, and I eat everything he bought for me. We spend the evening talking about his trip and the places he'll go. I give him the plant and tell him it's to remind him of me while he's gone. We go to bed early and after having sex, he holds me until he thinks I've fallen asleep, then he finally nods off. Once he's snoring lightly, I let the tears come, and I press my body as close to his as I can. I don't want to let him go.

He wakes me up bright and early, telling me he has to leave, and that I can stay in his bed as long as I want. I don't want to stay without him, plus I want to see him off at the harbor. Once we're both dressed, I watch him move around the apartment gathering things and double checking to make sure he's got everything he needs.

We walk down the street to the harbor, getting to his boat far too quickly. Most of his crew is already there, and they look like ants scurrying around an ant hill. They each say hello to me as they pass by, and I move out of the way so that Edward can get to work. There's a bench a little ways off, and I sit and watch the men ready the ship for the several weeks of traveling that they'll do. Edward told me it will be a couple of weeks before they get to Argentina, but I didn't ask specifics. I don't want to know.

Jasper shows up alone, with no Alice in sight, and he waves, smiling bashfully at me. I'm a little embarrassed about the other night, but I don't let it bother me.

"Hey, we're all ready. I just wanted to say good bye. I've got your address, so I'll write when I can."

I stand up and hug Edward, listening to his words and then letting several seconds pass before I speak.

"Couldn't you get a cell phone or something? So I can talk to you? Or use the boat phone? How am I supposed to find you? If I need you, what am I supposed to do?"

I can't help the words that are flying out of my mouth. I've done so well up until now, keeping all of my clinginess inside. I can't contain it anymore, and I feel him stiffen as I hang on to him.

"This is why I don't stay with one girl very long. I don't want it to be this way, Bella. I told you from the start, I don't want you waiting around for me. It's not fair to anyone. I should have known this would happen."

He's speaking to me, as well as making random comments to himself, and I can feel him pulling away. I can't have that, I need him to come back next year. I sniffle a bit, and wipe away the tears that have slid down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. I know what you said, and I'm sorry. I'm just emotional is all. I'm going to miss you." I smile up at him, and make it the most convincing smile I can.

"Bella...just, don't wait around, okay? Eight months is a long time. I don't want you to be alone. Even when I do come back next year, I still can't promise you anything. That's just not my life—my life's not here. I'm so sorry, I'm just trying to be honest." His eyes burn into mine and I know he's telling the truth. He doesn't want to hurt me, he's just doing what he does. What he's always done. I can't fault him for that.

Reaching up, I kiss him softly, letting my fingers twist in his hair one last time.

"I'll see ya around, sailor," I whisper.

He smiles. "I'll see you around."

He walks backward toward the boat, smiling at me as he goes. I pretend like I've never pretended before, and I hold everything in, except for the false happiness I'm giving him. It's the best thing I can do, for both of us, so I do it.

I stand there watching as he gets on the boat, pulling in one of the ropes that's held them to the dock.

"Be careful out there," I yell.

He winks. "Always am."

And then he's gone. I watch until I can't see the boat in the distance anymore. Whether it's too far away or just blurry from my tear filled eyes, I don't know. He went into the cabin and never looked back. I have to be okay with that, even if I'm not. I slowly walk back to the bar, climb the stairs to my apartment, and go inside. Shedding my clothes, I put on a T-shirt of his that he left here one night, and climb into my bed. Sobs take over my body and I can't fight them. As bad as this feels—watching him walk away from me—I have to hope that this is just the beginning. I have to hope that he'll be back, and that he'll want me again. I can't even imagine how much it will hurt of I never get anything else from him.

I close my eyes and cry, shaking and rocking in a fetal position, knowing that this most likely isn't the last time in my life that I'll cry myself to sleep over Edward Cullen.

**~*0*~ EPOV ~*0*~**

I have to get out of here. This girl...she's fucking with my head.

I never let myself get attached. Never. Sure, I have a few regular girls, but they know the deal. They like the deal. They get what they want, I get what I want, we're both happy.

But Bella...I know I hurt her, and I hate that I did. But what could I do? I told her from the beginning, and she agreed. I can't be responsible for her now, not after she let herself get in deeper than she should have.

I point the boat toward the Pacific and push the throttle hard. I need to get to Argentina fast.

I think Jasper needs it, too. We've only been gone a few minutes, and he's already pouting over Alice.

I know the guys want to stop in San Francisco and Cabo San Lucas, but I'm not stopping until Acapulco. They'll be mad, but I don't care.

The faster I can get us to Mar Del Plata, the faster I can get us to Carmen and Maria, and the faster me and Jasper can fuck Bella and Alice out of our systems.

And I need to fuck her out of my head.

Before I turn around and ruin everything.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: I know...I know. Trust, okay? He's not a bad guy. I promise. :)**


	11. Chapter 11 Ballet Studio

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #2 – Ballet Studio  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a one-piece swimming suit & pair of board shorts that I spent two hours trying to find for my almost 14 year old daughter tonight. Seriously...since when did stores start carrying only bikini's and two-piece suits? Dang, it's hard to find a modest swimming suit for a teenage girl. All the 10 one-piece suits that we found were for old ladies. :( Good thing the one suit that we found that was half way cute was in her size. Now she can go to her end of the year school swim party at the local water park. Good thing she tans so well, too. I remember going there as a teenager. I always went in Bella-white and came out lobster-red. Not good... :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**So, we're assuming that unless otherwise mentioned, any sex that occurs features a condom. Although, Bella's on the pill, too, so her and anyone she might choose to hit the sheets with should be safe. :) And thanks for trusting me. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 11**

**~*0*~ Ballet Studio ~*0*~**

The first few weeks since Edward left have been quiet. I don't really talk to anyone, or go out. I haven't talked to Alice since that night, and to be honest, I'm a little nervous to see her. I have this insane fear that because of what we did in front of Jasper on his birthday, she's going to think that we can just happily take care of each other while the boys are away.

Um, no. She's my friend, but if there's anything that one night showed me, it's that I want Edward and no one else. I'll never be truly happy unless he's by my side.

When the season dies down, and the streets of Clallam Bay start to resemble a ghost town, I finally get a chance to go spend some time with my dad. One look at my face and he can tell I'm keeping something from him.

"It's nothing, Dad. Honestly. I think I'm just worn out from the season."

"You know, Bells, I could send someone else out there to handle it next year, if you want."

"NO!" I yell, jumping to my feet. "I'm handling things just fine. Ask Rose, she'll tell you."

Panic begins to set in. He can't take me away from Clallam Bay. If he does, how will I know when Edward comes back? Will he be able to find me? When would I ever get to see him if I'm working here and he's there? I would never be able to keep that secret, so I decide here and now that I won't give my dad a reason to replace me.

Each day I'm in Forks, I help my dad. I go with him to doctor appointments, I do his grocery shopping, I watch ball games with him on television, and I take care of the house. I can see that he's worn out. The treatments he gets make him tired, and usually after each one, he sleeps for nearly twenty four hours. It's hard to watch him be so completely wiped out, but the doctor says things are looking better and he's improving, so I keep after him to take his medications and to eat well and get his rest.

When I'm in Clallam Bay, I'm all about work. I don't go out, I don't socialize, I don't really even leave the building. It houses the bar and my apartment, so what more do I need? I spend a lot of time on the internet, looking up healthy recipes for my dad, looking up wedding stuff for Rosalie, and looking up Argentina. I know that's where Edward is, and if he should call or write, I want to be able to talk to him about where he is and what he's seeing. I also spend a lot of time in my window, watching the harbor. I know Edward's boat won't come sailing into it anytime soon, but I can dream, and it's the thought that one day he will come back that keeps me going. It's what I cling to now.

It's what I need.

~*0*~

It's January, just after the new year, and Edward's been gone for nearly three months. I've kept myself fairly busy, and even dodged a few blind dates. Between Rose, my dad, and Jake, there's always someone wanting to set me up with a guy they just know I'll love. If only they knew what a lost cause it was. But they don't, so I make up things to keep myself busy and away from potential suitors.

I finally saw Alice around Thanksgiving time. We had a nice chat, and even joked about our drunken escapades. She never once suggested that we hook up while the boys are gone, and I'm glad. I'd been dreading having to tell her no, even though part of me figures Edward's probably seeing other women in Argentina, so maybe I should fool around a bit, too. And at least with Alice, there's no threat of hurting anyone or leading them on. But I don't do it. I can't. I know I should...but I just don't want to.

Alice hooks up with random guys. I don't know how she does it—having sex with some other man while claiming she's in love with Jasper—but she does. Something about what's good for the goose is good for the gander. I wish I were as carefree as she is, and I do try to flirt sometimes, but it just never leads to anything, and I wind up spending my night alone. Well, as alone as I can be, surrounded by memories of Edward and his T-shirt that's become my nightgown.

One day, as I'm working the bar on my own and we've had one customer all afternoon, the mail comes. Sorting through it is boring as usual, until I get to a postcard. It's from Edward, and my heart starts racing. The picture is of a beach in the city where he is, and I notice all the boats in the ocean, as well as the sunbathers on the sand. I anxiously flip it over so I can read what he's written.

_Bella,_

_Hey, hope things are good. We made it to Mar Del Plata, Argentina. It's summer time here, so it's hot. The city's great. It's about the size of Seattle, and there's lots to do when we're not fishing. We fish most days. Mainly for various types of whitefish. Pretty much whatever they tell us is okay that week. Their rules change all the time, it's frustrating. We're planning to be back in Washington in June, so I hope you're still around. I know I don't have a right to ask, but if you could maybe not date Mike Newton while I'm gone, that would be great._

_Miss you_

_Edward_

I read the message over and over again. It leaves me feeling rather cold and impersonal. He didn't mention anything, other than his "Miss you" at the end, about me or us. It kind of hurts, that the first time he contacts me in three months is just an informal writing of what he's been doing. I wanted more. I obviously let my imagination get the best of me, but I was hoping he would talk about our time together, or mention something about me that he missed. Nothing. I got nothing like that, and to make it worse, there's not even a return address on it. I can't even write him back. And then for him to ask me not to date Mike? What's that about? I need to talk to Mike about this, see if there's something in their past that I should know about.

I stick the postcard in my apron pocket and go back to sorting through receipts. I need to call Alice, maybe she's heard from Jasper. Maybe if she calls him, and I'm there, I could talk to Edward. It's a chance I have to take, and just the thought of it lifts my spirits. It's a long shot, but it's all I have right now.

~*0*~

March arrives sooner than I ever dreamed. I'm excited, because it's closer to June, but I'm dreading it, too. It means Rosalie and Emmett's wedding is almost here. They decided to get married in the first part of April so that they can go on their honeymoon during Emmett's Spring Break vacation at school. The wedding isn't huge or anything, but I'm in charge of a lot, since I'm the maid of honor. I don't want to let Rose down, so I put a huge smile on my face when I plan and host the bridal shower. I laugh and grin when I plan and co-host the combined bachelor/bachelorette party. I oooh and aaah at each of my dress fittings, and I stuff myself at the cake and dinner menu tasting. I might also throw back a couple of each of the special wedding drinks they give us to sample, but Alice is right there with me, so I don't feel so bad.

Emmett has to drive me back to my dad's house that night, and he's so sweet helping me out of the car and up to the door, that I hug him tight, and then make a horrible mistake. I start to cry, and I call him Edward.

"Bella? You okay?" he softly asks me, helping me inside and settling me down onto the sofa.

"Please don't tell Rose, please. It's a secret, Emmett. You have to promise not to tell."

I know I'm drunk and probably not making much sense, and I hope that's what he's thinking, but a few days later, I know that he's on to me. He's put two and two together, and when I see him at the wedding rehearsal dinner, he pulls me aside.

"Tell me this wasn't what I think it was. Tell me you just went out once or twice, Bella."

I can't lie to him, and I shake my head. "It was all season."

"Bella, what were you thinking?"

I shrug. "I liked him. He was nice, and we had fun. Emmett, I knew from the beginning that he wouldn't stay, and I wanted him anyway. It's not his fault."

"That's why you've been so down these past few months, isn't it? Have you heard from him? I know Alice has talked to Jasper."

"I got a postcard."

I'm almost embarrassed to admit that after spending nearly four months together, all I have to show for it is a postcard. And a T-shirt hidden away in a drawer.

"That jerk," Emmett mutters under his breath.

"At least I'm not pregnant, right?" I say, trying to lighten the mood.

"That's not funny, Bella."

But then he laughs, and so do I, and for some reason I know I can trust him.

At the wedding, everyone is so happy and joyful. And I try to be, I really do. In the pictures I know they'll see a happy, shining woman, but if they were to see on the inside, what I look like there? It would be sad and dark and lonely. That's what my world is without Edward. And as the photographer takes more pictures, I wonder if he had magic film, would he see the sadness in me? What would he think? Would he be able to tell just how broken I am without Edward?

~*0*~

I'm staying with Charlie when Alice calls, asking if I want to hang out. My dad's still resting up from his latest round of treatments a few days ago, and I know I could use the break. She mentions a yoga class she's taking, saying it's being held at the local ballet studio. I haven't been there since I was about twelve and Rose and I decided we would be ballerina's when we got older. She breezed right through the classes, becoming the star student in no time. After about three lessons, the teacher asked my father to enroll me in something else. Apparently, grace and elegance didn't seem to go along with clumsy and awkward.

The parking lot has several cars in it when I get there, so I sit outside, waiting until Alice shows up. She's happy and chattering away before the class, and then afterward when we go for ice cream, she mentions talking to Jasper. She says they're in Maine now, fishing for herring. They work long hours, and there's not a lot of free time, but she said Jasper sounded good. I want so much to ask about Edward but I don't. She must know it's killing me to not hear from him, but she doesn't offer up any information. Maybe she doesn't know any. If it were me talking to Edward, I most likely wouldn't spend my precious few minutes talking to him about Jasper, just so I could tell Alice something.

"Hey, you coming to graduation in two weeks?" she asks.

"I don't know, should I?" I don't know anyone graduating, so do I really need to be there?

"Yeah, come with Rose and me. Emmett's working, he's running their music and stuff, I guess, and then he's chaperoning the senior class's all night party. Rose told me to ask you to come with us. It'll be fun, a real girls night out. Come on...you know you want to."

I do want to. I want a girls night with my two best friends. I tell Alice yes, and then try to not think about it anymore. After yoga, where I embarrass myself by the number of bendy positions I can't do, I go home and take care of my dad. I do it because unlike some men I know, he needs me, and he appreciates me, and he makes me feel loved and valued.

Then I go up stairs to my old bedroom and pull Edward's post card out of my purse. And I cry.

~*0*~

A few days before graduation, I'm working in the bar, when the mail arrives. I almost fall on the floor when I see a letter for me, from Edward. Not even just a post card, a real letter with an envelope and paper inside and everything. Hurrying to the office, I open it and devour every word, even though there are so few of them.

_Bella_

_Things are good. We're fishing herring here in Maine. My parents came to visit for a couple weeks. My dad's friend Liam lives here with his wife and daughters. I spent some time with them, and it reminded me of Seattle, and you. I'm friends with their daughter Chelsea, though I think my mom wishes it was more. Oh well, that's never gonna happen._

_We should be back in Washington sometime around the middle of June. Don't bother writing back, 'cause by the time it gets here, I'll be gone._

_See you soon_

_Edward_

I wasn't sure what to make of his letter, and the fact that he mentioned his family and their friends. That seemed odd. I did like the part about him being reminded of me, and I especially like that he'll be back in less than a month. I'm excited to see him, and hopeful that he'll want to see me. I suppose time will tell.

For now all I can do is sit tight and wait, and pray that he really is coming back to me.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: Poor Bella. I'm sad for her, but she's trying to make the most of her alone time, right? Hanging out with Charlie, Rose, and Alice. :) That's good. :)**


	12. Chapter 12 Gymnasium

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #12 – Gymnasium  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an appreciation for a good story. One that totally sucks me in and makes me have a physical reaction to reading it. I get that sometimes. You should check my favorite's list. :D It's full of awesome. Really. :)**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**A lot of you are hoping that Bella grows a backbone and dates someone else. I'm trying to keep the characters real and honest and truthful to their personalities. They don't make all the right choices. They don't do the best thing for themselves. They don't always say the right thing at the right time. And you know what? All of that is okay, they're supposed to be that way. Hopefully, over the course of the story, they will grow and learn things about themselves, and they'll end as better people than they started as. At least that's what I'm trying for. I hope that makes sense. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 12**

**~*0*~ Gymnasium ~*0*~**

Graduation starts out great, and I'm having a lot of fun with my girls. For just a little while, my heart doesn't even seem to hurt all that much. It's a foreign feeling at this point, but it's one I long to have on a more regular basis again. Alice and I are making fun of the hideous caps and gowns the kids have to wear and talking about how busy the bar's been since the season started. We're also laughing about the parents with cameras, and how desperate they all seem to capture the perfect picture.

About half way through the ceremony, which is dragging on much longer than it should be, in my opinion, I excuse myself to go to the ladies room. There are a few women in the stalls already, and I make my way to the last remaining empty one. They must be friends because they're having a rather animated conversation. I don't pay any attention until Edward's name makes an appearance.

"Don't you remember? We went out a few years ago. He was so great," one of them says. My stomach is beginning to knot up, and I don't know if I'll be able to listen to this, but I need to hear what they're saying.

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

"You forgot? Are you insane? Have you seen the man? Trust me honey, if you'd fucked him like I did, you wouldn't forget him, that's for sure."

Oh shit, another one of his ex's, not just an admirer. I don't like hearing her talk about Edward this way, but I'm frozen in place, unable to make myself leave the stall I'm now standing in.

"He's due back sometime in the middle of June. Looks like I'll be making a few trips out to Clallam Bay next month."

She laughs, then her friend joins in. I feel like crying, and I flush the toilet and make my way out to the sinks. I'm washing my hands when the two women walk out. They're both beautiful, but the one talking is especially stunning. Long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and about six inches taller than I am. There's no way I can compete with a woman who looks like that. And the fact that she knows when Edward is due back, that makes me nervous and sick to my stomach.

They don't pay any attention to me, and why would they? They continue talking about Edward, as well as some of the other local sailors. I don't know most of the other guys by name, but I don't care, either. All I keep hearing in my head over and over again is how he fucked her. Of course he would. The way he looks and the way she looks? She's the kind of girl who should be on his arm. As I stand in the mirror, I discreetly compare the two of us. I have nothing over her. Her hair is long and shiny, while mine is dark and flat looking. Her skin is flawless with a light golden tan. Mine is sickeningly white, and I can spot at least six zits on my face. Her breasts are at least a C cup, if not a D. Mine are a B on a good day, if I'm lucky. Her body is curvy, with a narrow waist and a perfect ass. Mine is slim, but not nearly as curvacious, sexy, and enticing as hers.

I mentally tell myself there's no way I can compete with a woman like that, so why bother trying? He's sent me two letters in the past eight months. Two. If he really cared about me, he would have found the time to write more often. Jasper bought a phone especially for Alice, and she talked to him almost every week. Why couldn't Edward have done that for me? It's not right, and yet I sat on my own for eight months, waiting for him to return. I tell myself that I wasn't waiting on him, but I know I was. There's no sense lying to myself.

I make my way back into the gymnasium and to my seat. Alice can tell something's wrong, but I shake my head, hoping she won't ask about it. She doesn't, and I'm grateful.

After the ceremony is over and most of the kids and families are gone, we head over to Rose's house for some girl time. We're watching movies, eating junk food, and whatever else Alice has planned for the night. I try to smile and act excited, but I think they both see through me. They just don't ask why, which is good. I really don't want to get into it. Not tonight.

~*0*~

"Do you think the guys will be back by Edward's birthday?" Alice asks. She's sitting on my living room floor, painting her toe nails some dreadful purple color. She swears it's the latest fashion trend, but I think she's highly deranged.

"I don't know, Alice. I don't even know when his birthday is. Why?"

"Well, I just wondered if he'd want us to give him the same birthday present we gave Jasper last year. I need time to psych myself up for it, if we're going girl on girl again."

She's dead serious. Yeah, I'm right. She's highly deranged.

"Alice, I don't even know if Edward's gonna want me this year. I mean, two letters, Alice. Two. That's not real promising. Plus, I don't know if I even want to fool with it again. I'm never gonna get anywhere with him, and I'm just gonna wind up heartbroken again when he leaves in October."

"Bella, he wants you. Jazz said so. Just wait and see, let him explain things. Maybe he was just really busy."

I freeze until she looks at me. Yeah, she doesn't buy that particular line of bullshit either.

I told her about the women from the graduation ceremony. I also may have mentioned the waitress at the cafe, the secretary at the paper product supply company in Port Angeles, and the several women who frequent the bar. Apparently, I've got a lot of competition, and being that Edward appeared to be a hermit last season, these women are anxious and on the hunt.

I'm so screwed. And not in a good way.

"Just wait, Bella. See him and talk to him, it'll work out. I have a feeling about it."

~*0*~

It's June twenty third, and I'm working the day shift when Alice pops into the bar just after lunch.

"They're back! I just wanted to tell you, or warn you. Whichever it is this week."

"Thanks," I tell her. I really am glad that she told me. I've been ignoring the daily harbor reports and talk of fishing lineups. I keep telling myself if I just focus on work and myself, he'll leave me alone. After all, it's not like he's going to come hunt me down or anything.

That night I'm in the storage room, reorganizing our liquor stock, when I hear footsteps treading up the stairs to my apartment. I freeze. I know it's him, I can feel it. My heart begins to pound, and I feel like all the air has left my body. I still, in the quiet room, listening as he knocks...and knocks...and knocks. After several minutes, I hear his footsteps on the stairs again, then hear them walking down the hall toward the bar. Leah's working, and she knows all about us, so I silently pray that she'll send him away with some made up story.

The sound of his voice is like a ray of light to my darkened soul, and I slide closer to the closed door so I can hear him better. It's not his normal tone, he seems to be a little nervous or anxious, but I memorize each word he says.

"Leah, is Bella here?"

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in. What are you doing here?"

This is good, she's not giving me up right away. But she likes Edward, I know that. There's some relationship between them, but I have yet to hear the whole story. I wonder if I ever will.

"I'm looking for Bella, Leah. What do you think I'm doing here? I knocked on her door but she's not there. Is she still around? Is she still working here?"

"That's a little bold, thinking she'd wait around here for you. Why would she do that, Edward? Did you give her any reason to?"

"Leah, why are you busting my balls over this? Is she here or not?"

It's silent for a moment. "No, she's not here."

"Is she gone, or is she just not here at the moment?"

"What do you think, sailor?"

Leah's good. I need to hang out with her more, learn how to be ruthless when I need to be.

"Alice said she's still around, so I'm hoping she's just not here at the moment. Will she be home later?"

I hear Leah laugh. "Depends if she can remember her way home from who ever's bed she's in tonight."

Edward is silent for a moment, before clearing his throat. "Can you just tell her I came by, please? I'd like to see her sometime soon."

"Sure thing, Edward. I'll pass long your little message." There's fire and fury in her voice, and I love her so much more for it.

After a few seconds of quiet, Edward speaks again. His voice is suddenly much lower and softer. "There's still no word. I asked a few of the crews in Argentina, the ones who knew him, and there's nothing. I'm really sorry, Leah."

She sucks in a deep breath, and when she speaks, it's so quiet and just sad sounding, I can barely hear her. "Thanks, Edward. I don't know why I keep torturing myself, you know? But I just can't give up. Not yet. Maybe not ever."

"I know. I'm sorry, I wish I had better news."

Leah sniffles. "I'll tell her you came by, okay? But Edward? You fucked up. Big time. I hope you know that."

I hear Edward sigh. "Believe me, I know it."

His steps come closer to me as he walks down the hall to the back door. I freeze when he passes me, unaware that I'm only feet away from him. Once the back door closes, I let out a breath. It's a few minutes later when Leah knocks on the storage room door. Her eyes are sad and weary looking.

"You heard that?" she asks.

I nod. "Yeah, I heard."

"For what it's worth, he looks like shit. Hot shit, but still...shit."

I laugh at her attempt to cheer me up. As if Edward could ever look anything less than amazing.

~*0*~

I manage to avoid Edward the next day, though I know he comes into the bar at least twice. He told Leah that he's heading out tomorrow on a trip and he'll be gone about a week. He told her that he really wants to see me before that. He told her that he misses me, and that he missed me these past eight months. I just don't see how the things he told her could be true. If he missed me so much, then why only two letters? Why no other contact? Not even a message through Jasper and Alice. Just a whole lot of nothing.

It's well after midnight when I decide to take my trash out. The chicken I cooked the day before is not smelling very good in the garbage can, and since I've been too afraid to go outside during daylight hours, for fear he'd see me, I haven't thrown it out yet. But my apartment is beginning to smell pretty bad, so it needs to go.

I check the little parking lot behind the bar, not seeing anyone, so I hurry across to the dumpster and toss it in. I run back toward the door, watching the ground so that I don't step on anything, and nearly jump out of my skin when I hear his voice.

"I knew you were here. You're just avoiding me, huh?"

"Edward! Oh shit, what are you doing out here?" I yell, my hands firmly clasped over my heart, as I look at him. He's standing near the corner of the building, so I know he must have stepped around it after watching me run outside.

"I wanted to see you. Did Leah tell you?" He looks at me, and even through the moonlight, he knows my answer. "That's what I figured. So you're not gonna talk to me now? Is that it? That's your big plan?"

"Edward, I don't really think now is the time to discuss this. Come back another day and we'll talk."

I move toward the door, but he steps in front of it. "When? When should I come back?"

"Um, come back tomorrow." I keep my eyes on the ground, refusing to let him see me as I lie to him. Even though he's lied to me plenty of times, apparently. Plus, I know if I look at him and see his face, I'll give in. My body is screaming at me to hold him, to pull him against me.

Stupid fucking traitor body.

"You know I'm shipping out tomorrow, Bella. I can't come over. Can we just talk now? For a few minutes? We don't even have to go upstairs, if you don't want to."

Wrapping my arms around my waist so that they don't reach forward and grab Edward, I glance up at him. "Shouldn't you be sleeping now? Since you're leaving tomorrow morning, and all?"

"You're more important than sleep."

I want to believe him. I want it so badly. I want him to be telling me the truth, but I know he's not. How could he be?

"Just, come by next week when you're back. I can't do this right now, okay?"

I reach out and grab the handle of the door, determined to go inside and calm down. I haven't felt this many conflicting emotions at once in a long time. Well, since the last time I was with Edward.

His hand covers mine on the handle, and he leans forward, his mouth against my ear.

"I missed you so much, Bella. Please, talk to me," he whispers.

It makes my heart ache, and my knees weak. I don't know what I was thinking trying to stay away from him. It's hopeless, and I look up to meet his eyes.

"Don't say things you don't mean." My eyes are filling with tears, and I know he can see them.

"I'm not."

"But you have to be, otherwise..." I whisper, my voice shaking.

"Otherwise, what?" he asks.

"Otherwise, I don't know. But you can't be telling the truth right now. You just can't."

"Bella, talk to me, please. I just want to see you, and hold you. I want to be with you, Bella. We can just sit on the stairs, even. I'm okay with that. Just let me be near you, please?"

I can't fight it anymore, and I nod in agreement, letting him open the door for me. We sit on the steps in silence, not talking or touching or anything other than breathing and being together.

He speaks, filling the empty room with his words. "I'm sorry about the past eight months. I'm sorry I didn't contact you more, or better. There were just a lot of things happening, and I wasn't able to. My head was kinda all over the place, you know? I don't know what else to say."

He sounds sincere, and I watch him play with his fingers as he leans forward with his forearms on his knees, and his hands between them.

"Did you miss me at all? Be honest." I need to know.

"Yes, I did. So much, Bella."

"Why just two letters? Why couldn't you borrow Jasper's phone or something?"

He sighs. "I just couldn't. Please don't ask me to elaborate, okay? I just couldn't, that's all."

"So what if I'm dating someone else now? What then?"

His head shoots up and his eyes pierce into mine. "Are you?"

"Maybe."

We stare at each other for several seconds, and he knows it's not true. I shake my head just a bit, before looking down at the floor. The corner near the back door is really dusty, and I make a mental note to clean it tomorrow.

"Can we go out? Can I take you to dinner next week when I get back? We're scheduled for a week's run, but we're gonna try and finish sooner. I really want to be back with you, have more time with you. Please? Anywhere you want, I'll take you anywhere you want."

I sigh, wondering just how big of an idiot I am to agree to this.

"Alright, yeah we can go. The night you're back, let me know as soon as you're here and we'll go."

He smiles, I can see it from the corner of my eye. "Okay, that sounds good."

We sit still, not saying anything else. I know we have a lot to talk about—a lot—but I want to. I need to give things an honest try between us. I need to know that if we don't work out, it's not because I didn't try. I don't want to live with regrets.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks, his voice hesitant and nervous. I want to tell him no, but I don't. Instead I turn to face him, leaning closer and letting my lips move softly over his. When he rubs his nose against mine afterward, he whispers, "I missed you so fucking much."

I don't know what to say to that, but he stands up and walks out the door, glancing back before he pulls it closed. It reminds me of our first night together. Except that this time, he looks back.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: Good, right? Moving in a positive direction? Let's hope so. :) **

**Thanks to the girls who pimped this on Twitter, as well as Facebook and in A Different Forest. That's so sweet. :) The hit, visitor, and review counts just keep going up and up every day. I think this little story had almost 100 reviews today, alone. I'm so flattered. :) Thank you. :)**


	13. Chapter 13 Italian Restaurant

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #16 – Italian Restaurant  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own are 2 and a half more Symphony chocolate bars that I got for Mother's Day. They're yummy, and each of my kids gave me one. Yeah, I've already eaten one and a half of them. But they were gifts from my children, so that mean's they're fat free, right? 'Cause love doesn't hurt and has no calories, right? I hope so, anyway. :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**I love this chapter. I think it's my favorite so far. It's the half way point in our little story. The angst in this story is not over. Not by a long shot. This chapter's got some, and I cried. You've been warned. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 13**

**~*0*~ Italian Restaurant ~*0*~**

All morning I keep myself away from my window, knowing that if I walk by it, I'll look out toward the harbor, and I'll find Edward's boat. I don't want to see him getting ready to leave for his fishing trip. I just plain don't want to see him, not yet. I've got about a week to get my thoughts in order so that when we go out, we can talk and I can get some answers. First, I need to figure out everything I want an answer for, then decide what's most important. Judging by the past season and the time we spent together, I know my level head doesn't usually last long in Edward's presence. Whatever it is about him that gets me so worked up just takes over, and I can't help myself. I give in.

I try several times during the week to talk to Leah, to find out what the deal is between her and Edward. Each time I try, we end up getting sidetracked, and she doesn't offer up anything. I'm curious, but there's not much I can do about it. But I still replay their little conversation over and over in my head. I can't help it, I need to know who they were talking about.

I spend a day with my dad, taking him to his radiation appointment, then getting him some groceries and cleaning up his house. Sometimes I wish he'd found someone new after my mother left. He's always been alone, and I wonder how he's managed all these years. I know he does a lot for my Aunt Lillian and Rose, plus he's always helping his friends, but maybe if he had someone special, his life would be a little bit easier.

Before I know it, it's Tuesday and Edward should be back either today or tomorrow. If he really did hurry, then it should be today. I work all day, watching the door and waiting for him to walk in. Finally, at about six o'clock, he comes into the bar. He looks exhausted, and I don't think he's changed his clothes. The duffel bag on his shoulder tells me he most likely came straight from the boat, which he confirms when I ask. I offer my shower if he wants to use it, and he hurries upstairs to get cleaned up a bit so that we can go. I finish the things I need to take care of, hoping that I'm giving him enough time to do what he needs to do. I don't want to walk in on a wet and naked Edward. Well, part of me does, but I know it wouldn't be productive. Though it would be fun.

He's dressed and sitting on the sofa when I walk in. His shoes are on, and he's leaning over to tie them, but he looks up at me and smiles this beautiful smile that I've missed for so long. My heart beats a little faster, before I quickly rush into my room and close the door. I need to change my clothes, and even though Edward has seen every square inch of my body, I'm not comfortable with him watching me. The level of intimacy we once had has vanished, but I'm hopeful that one day we'll have it back.

We leave Clallam Bay, headed for Beaver and the little Italian Restaurant that Alice took me to last year. I've been there several times now, and I've loved everything I've tried. Edward seems to know the place when I mention it, and there's no hint of worry in his face. Since the only women I've ever seen working there are older or married, I hope I'm safe as far as Edward's ex's go.

The drive through the forest is quiet. Neither of us say a lot, though Edward does hold my hand the whole way. It's sweet, and in comparison to all the things we've done together, it almost seems like a huge step back. The more I think about it, the more I realize it's a step we need to take. If we're genuinely going to work things out, we need to go slow and do it right this time. I lace my fingers with his and hold on tight. I'm not willing to let go just yet.

The restaurant is nice, as always. We make small talk, during which he mentions Argentina and talks a little about the country and what the fishing is like there. He's pretty guarded about it, which makes me nervous. Then he talks about Maine and how different it is from Argentina. He tells me a little about how he ended up with the fishing contracts he has, and how it's not typical for fisherman to work all over the world. He smiles, saying how much he enjoys it and how he can't see himself doing anything else with his life. The man is nothing if not straight forward about his intentions with me. That's something that he's always been, from day one. It's one of the only good things he's got going for him right now. I need answers, but I don't feel like he's ready to give them to me.

I tell him about Rose and Emmett's wedding, how crazy things were before it happened, and how relieved I was to send them off on their honeymoon. Until Rose called the next day and said she'd forgotten her birth control pills, and that I needed to bring them to her. That day.

Edward laughs when I complain about the long drive to Sidney, British Columbia. Rose and Emmett were staying on San Juan Island, and took a ferry to meet me, but that meant I still had a three and a half hour drive and ferry ride each way to get there. It gave me a lot of time to think, as well as sing along badly to the playlist of love songs, as well as lost love songs, that I'd compiled. Although, I leave that detail out of our conversation.

It's kind of incredible. When Edward and I are together, just being ourselves, it's as if there is nothing wrong between us. We seem to just instinctively know what the other will say or do, or how they will move or shift. It's intense, and I've never experienced that with anyone else before. Even though I'm still angry and upset with him, I feel so at ease, and happy that he is across from me. I have a list a mile long of things I need to know, but as I sit watching him eat his dinner, drink his beer, and talk about his crew, all of those things seem unimportant. I just want one more night with him. One more time to hold him, to kiss him, to touch him. And I want to feel him doing all of those things to me. I have a feeling that if I ask everything I need to, he will bail, and I will never get anything more from him. That thought haunts me, and I decide to wait until tomorrow to seek out the answers I'm craving.

We drive back, commenting on the stars and the moon, and how bright they are. I don't want to take him home, nor am I completely comfortable with going back to my place, so I park along the side of the road near the harbor. There is a beachy area there, and we make the short walk in the moonlight. Sitting next to him, listening to the waves softly lap at the shore, I let out a breath that I feel like I've been holding since the day he left. He's really here—with me—and I want to keep him always. I know I can't, but just for tonight, I want to believe it's possible.

"Did you miss me at all? Honestly?" I ask, my eyes glued to the water in front of us.

"Bella, I told you I did."

"I just want to hear it again."

He slides his arm around my waist, pulling my body tight against his. "I missed you so fucking much, Bella. It hurt to breathe sometimes." His words and breath in my ear make me shiver, and I lean my head against his shoulder. "Did you miss me?"

I don't trust my voice, so I simply nod and murmur an "Uh huh" to him.

I feel his lips on my temple as he kisses me softly, then leans his head against mine. The moment is so perfect, anyone walking up on us would just think we're a normal couple enjoying a quiet moment together.

"Stay with me tonight, Bella. We don't even have to do anything, if you don't want to. I just want to be near you, to have you in my arms. Please, let me take care of you again."

A sigh escapes me as I think about what he's asking. I want it, too, and I turn to look up at him. "Take me home, Edward."

~*0*~

His apartment looks the same as it did the previous year, with the exception of his still unpacked bags on the living room floor.

"I haven't had time to put anything away yet. Sorry for the mess."

I smile and shake my head. "No biggie, I don't care." It's true, I don't care. The only thing I care about in that apartment is him, and I grow nervous as he tugs me toward his bedroom.

"You wanna watch TV or something, or do you just want to sleep? I vote for sleeping, 'cause I'm exhausted, but I'll do whatever you want."

His honesty still makes my knees weak, and I hope when I start asking questions, he'll still be this honest with me.

"Sleeping is fine," I say, then watch as he goes to pull an undershirt out of his suitcase. He hands it to me and I make my way to his bathroom, changing my clothes and washing off the little bit of makeup I've been wearing. When I walk back into his room, he's already in bed, his chest bare and with the sheet lying over his hips. I can tell he has his boxers on, but the sight of him sitting there, waiting for me, has my stomach fluttering. I want him.

He smiles as I climb into the bed, scooting up against him. I lie down on my back and he turns to hover over me.

"I missed this," he says, his eyes bright with emotion. I don't say anything, just wait for him to make a move. If he wants to sleep, I'll sleep. If he wants to fuck, I'll fuck. I don't care, as long as I'm next to him one more time, I'll do whatever he wants me to. "Can I kiss you, baby?"

Hearing him call me baby again makes my stomach clench, and I reach up and place my hand on his cheek, pushing it back so that my fingers tuck into his hair. It's a little longer than it was the last time I saw him, and the memory of seeing it curl out from under his baseball cap last week already has me wet. "Yes, please," I whisper as I pull him down on top of me.

He feels so good, his weight pinning me down to the bed. He tries to shift to the side, but I pull him back. I know he thinks he'll crush me, but he won't. We've been over this before, and finally he gives in and relaxes. We kiss and kiss and kiss, and then his lips begin to move down to my neck, leaving sweet kisses along my cheek and jaw. The air in his apartment is warm, almost stagnant, and after several minutes of our lustful moans and heated breaths, I'm starting to sweat.

"A window, open a window," I whisper as he begins to press his hard cock against me.

I watch as he gets up, hunger clear in his eyes, and reaches above the bed to slide the window open. I'm not always a fan of having people hear us while we're having sex, but at the moment, I don't care. I want people to know he's back. I want people to hear him with someone. I want people to see me leaving his apartment tomorrow morning. I want to stake my claim on him, just like he did to me last year. I don't worry too much about Rose finding out, since she's so caught up lately in being the perfect wife, and trying to get pregnant. She hardly ever comes to Clallam Bay anymore, and when she does, it's just a quick trip—she never hangs around long enough to hear the local gossip.

Edward pulls the sheet back and climbs on top of me, leaning back on his knees as he pulls me up to sit. "I love you in my clothes, but this damn thing needs to come off," he says, as he grabs the hem of his shirt that I'm wearing and pulls it over my head, throwing it to the floor.

His hands instantly go to my breasts and he begins to squeeze them, letting his thumbs rub over my hardened nipples. His lips return to my neck, and he pushes me back down onto my back. I let my hands rake up and down his body, feeling his muscles as he moves and bends over me. The sounds he makes turn me on and make me want him so much, that I start to press my thighs together, hoping to alleviate the want that's building there.

"What's the matter, baby? What do you need?"

"You," I say. "I need you."

He lifts off of me and looks into my eyes. "You got me, I'm all yours."

I kiss him, skimming my hands down his sides until I reach the waistband of his boxers. I push them down, clearing his cock and then sliding them over his ass before I grab them with my feet and pull them the rest of the way down. He kicks them free, then reaches for mine to return the favor.

There's something I like about being with Edward when he's naked and I'm not. I like it the other way around too, when I'm naked and he's not, but this way, I feel almost like even though he's leading things, I'm in control. Like he's bared himself for me, and he's mine for the taking. I squirm a bit when he starts to pull my panties off, and he laughs under his breath.

"I missed this, baby," he says, before lifting the waistband back to my hips, and reaching down between my legs so that his fingers can slip under the fabric there. He knows what I like. I feel him against my folds, and I can hear his hand sliding through the wetness there. The room is so quiet, except for the sounds of sex, that his fingers pushing into me floats through the air like a scream in the night. I love it and I arch into his touch, holding his head over my chest, where his mouth is currently doing unthinkable things to my tits.

"Edward, you feel so good, baby. Don't stop," I mumble, my eyelidss sliding closed as I get more and more lost in this man.

After several minutes, I feel his fingers pull out of me and he grabs my thighs, pulling them around his hips. His dick is hard and throbbing and right there, and I see stars when he pushes into me. It's amazing how perfect that moment is, and we both still for a few seconds, each of us shaking just a bit and pausing to revel in the closeness we're feeling. I don't know for sure what's going on in his head, but the way he looks at me is clear. He really did miss me.

His mouth meets mine again, and he begins to move, thrusting deep and slow into me. He twists his pelvis just a bit and I can feel him hit something deep within me, and it makes my back lift off the bed, it's so good and so needed. As we kiss and move together, his lips trail back to my neck, and I feel him sucking and biting and licking me there. The sensations coursing through my body are so intense that I almost don't hear him speak. And I almost don't register his words. But I do.

"I can't believe I've lasted three months without sex."

Everything screeches to a halt in me, and I stop completely. "What?" I whisper.

Edward raises his head from my neck and looks at me, as he continues to pump into me. "What?" he asks in a breathless voice.

"What did you say?"

He slows down and stares at me, like he's trying to recall the words that just broke my heart.

"I don't know, what did you hear?"

I swallow, and let my hands fall away from him, landing on the bed beside me. "You said you can't believe you lasted three months without sex. Is that what you said?"

I don't need to hear another word. His eyes tell me everything I need to know.

I feel like I'm about to vomit, and I push him off of me. I jump up from the bed and grab desperately on the floor for my clothes, pulling them on as I move about the room.

"Three months? Who the fuck did you sleep with three months ago, Edward?" I scream, tears beginning to fall from my eyes as I feel my body start to shake. He was with someone else? Yet he says he missed me? How could he even consider being with someone else if he missed me? That thought never even crossed my mind while he was away, and my heart is literally hurting at the idea of him pounding his cock into some other woman while I sat home pining for him

"Is that why you told me not to wait? Is that why you told me to date, to find someone? Because you knew you'd be fucking other women? Is that it? I can't believe this—you totally played me, Edward! What was I thinking, waiting around for you?"

I grab my shoes and slide them on, running into the living room to grab my purse that's lying on the kitchen counter top.

"Bella, wait, let me explain!" I hear him calling from the bedroom, and I can see movement, so I know I don't have much time. As I turn to run for the door, I see it. There, on the counter...the Yellow Bell plant I gave him. Dead, and exactly where I put it eight months ago.

I'm frozen and staring at it when he rushes into the room, wearing nothing but jeans. He thinks I'm waiting for him, because he asked me to. But I'm not.

"Bella, if you would just let me-"

"You didn't take it with you, did you?" I say in an eerily quiet voice.

"What?" he asks.

"The plant. You left it here to die, didn't you?"

"Bella, what are you..." I can see him look over to where I'm looking, and he sees it.

"I guess you didn't have time to get rid of it, huh? You must not have wanted any reminders of me around while you were away. Made it easier to go off with other women if you didn't have to think about me."

"No, Bella, I forgot it. You were with me that morning, you know how rushed we were to get out of here."

"We weren't rushed, Edward. You just didn't want it, and you were too chicken to tell me." I turn and look at him, sniffling as I continue to cry over what I've finally realized. "You left it to die here without you, just you like you did to me."

His face falls even more than it already has. "No, Bella, that's not true. It was an accident, I swear, Bella. I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't mean to do a lot of things, Edward. And right now I have a pretty good idea the biggest thing you didn't mean to do was me. I'm just sorry I was stupid enough to fall for it, and fall for you. I guess it would have been better if I'd really died, like my plant, huh? So you could just throw me out in the trash like you to planned to do with that."

His mouth hangs open, like he can't speak, and he can't believe what I've just said. Either I hit the nail on the head, or I've crushed him. Either way, I feel as dead inside as that plant does. And I have to get out of here.

I turn toward the door and pull it open pausing just long enough to glance back at him.

"You wanna know how stupid I am, Edward? I actually thought I loved you."

He lets out an anguished cry as a "No" falls from him lips, and I walk away.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: Well...that just sucks. Man, my mind is filled with horrible things, isn't it? Sorry. But like I said, the story's not over yet. :)**

**I really, really cried when writing next chapter. I'm a baby, I can't help it. :D But it's FULL of answers, so yes...they're on their way. :)**

**Now breathe deep and repeat after me: "I will not judge Edward until I know the whole story. I will not judge Edward until I know the whole story. I will have sex with Edward without knowing anything at all, but I will not judge Edward without knowing the whole story." :) Don't you feel better now? :D**


	14. Chapter 14 Sporting Goods Store

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #24 – Sporting Goods Store  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a humble heart. You all shocked the living heck out of me yesterday. So many wonderful things were said about this story and these characters, and I thank you...so much. You made me smile. :)**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**I cried in this chapter, too. Keep in mind, every story has two sides. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 14**

**~*0*~ Sporting Goods Store ~*0*~**

A few days pass by, and I don't see Edward. I know he's still in town, Alice told me. She called me the afternoon after I walked out on him, saying Jasper was really freaked out because Edward wouldn't talk to him. After I told her what happened, she promised to kick his ass the next time she saw him, then she told me how sorry she was and cried with me on the phone. Since that moment, I haven't shed one tear over what happened. I just can't do it. I don't know why, I mean my whole life just imploded before my eyes, yet I can't bring myself to cry over it anymore. Maybe it doesn't feel real yet. Maybe I'm just in denial. Maybe I'm just over it.

I know I'm not over it.

For the first day or two, each time the bar door opened, I turned to see if it was him, but it never was. By day three I figure he's not coming for me. He's done with this, too, and he's probably relieved that I ended things the way I did. It saved him the trouble of fighting off a clingy ex girlfriend.

But it still hurts.

About three in the afternoon, the door opens and I don't pay any attention. I'm busy serving our regular afternoon crowd, who are a little more wound up today than usual. Maybe there's a storm coming or something. Who knows. I keep my eyes on the bar, trying not to look right at anyone around me. I'm afraid if I do, I'll see something that will remind me of him, and I'll finally start to cry, and I won't be able to stop. Leah knows something's up, but she doesn't ask. She just helps me work and keep my mind off things.

"What can I getcha?" I ask the person who has slid in the empty seat at the end of the counter.

"Bella?"

When I look up, my breath catches in my throat. It's Edward. Seeing him makes my head swim, and I look away as fast as I can.

"Do you want something to drink?" I ask, trying to keep things strictly professional. I'm also trying hard to keep my voice from shaking.

"Bella, please."

"If you don't want something to drink, then you need to leave."

I'm not doing this here, with a full room of patrons and Leah running in and out of the room.

"I'll have a beer. Whatever's easiest for you to get's fine."

I grab the first thing I see, pop the cap off of it, and sit it on a napkin, sliding it over to him.

"It's three dollars."

He gives me a five, mumbling to keep the change, and I pocket it, then move back to the other end of the bar. An hour later, he's still sitting there nursing his beer. I feel him watching me every so often, but any time I chance a look his way, he's staring at his bottle, or at the counter, or at the wall. I take the time to really look at him, and I see that he's fairing much worse than I am. He's got his ball cap on, which hides the hair that I'm sure he's pulled and twisted into a terrible disarray. His eyes are bloodshot, and I don't think he's slept in the last few days. His clothes are rumpled and wrinkled, and I doubt they smell very good. He hasn't shaved, probably since the night of our date, and his five o'clock shadow is more of a ten or eleven o'clock shadow at this point.

Aside from all that, he just looks tired and worn down. I actually feel sorry for him and if he were anyone else, I would offer to hug him and make him feel better. But then I remember who he is and what he did, and I look away, determined not to give in to him. I'm better off without his particular brand of poison in my life, whether I believe that now or not.

As the clock nears seven in the evening, Leah pulls me aside.

"Mind telling me what the hell is going on here? Edward's been sitting there all afternoon, and he's only on his second beer, which I had to serve him because you're avoiding him like he's the plague. Both of you look like shit that's been run over by a train, so what gives? And don't tell me nothing. I wasn't born yesterday, sweets."

"I can't talk about it right now, okay? Just...we broke up. Or, I broke up with him."

She looks at me closely. "I don't buy that, Bella. What happened? The short version."

I let out a sigh and run my hand through my hair. "He fucked some other girl three months ago and then decided to mumble about it in the middle of fucking me. That's what happened. Oh, and that Yellow Bell plant I gave him? He left it in his apartment to die, just like he left me here to die. I'm done with him."

"He didn't leave you here to die, Bella. You knew the deal. How many times did he tell you last year that he couldn't have a relationship, huh? You knew going in that this wouldn't be easy, yet you still did it. I'm not condoning what he did, I'm just saying, you knew the risks. You can't blame him for all of this, not when he was being honest with you."

"Are you kidding me? You're siding with him now? What the fuck, Leah? I thought you were my friend!"

"I am your friend, Bella," she says, grabbing my arm as I try to walk away from her. "And I'm his friend, too. And you both need to pull your heads out of your asses and grow up, for fucks sake! I'm sick of this. For the rest of the night, you serve him. I'm going home to my son."

With that, she turns around and storms out of the building, leaving me to deal with the bar for the rest of the night. We're not too busy, so I'm not worried, but it means I have to interact with Edward, whether I like it or not.

~*0*~

Eleven o'clock strikes and I'm biding my time. We close at midnight, so there's only one more hour left, which is good since Edward is still parked on his bar stool, working on his fourth beer. I've had to serve him twice since Leah left, though he didn't meet my eyes either time, and I got away from him as quickly as I could.

A few of the older guys are sitting at the other end of the bar, flirting with me something fierce. Normally I'd just laugh it off, but once I notice Edward keeping an eye on things, I decide to give him a taste of his own medicine. I know how to flirt, and I might even make some decent tips if I do it right.

I laugh and smile and bat my eyelashes at the men, as they sit telling fishing stories and going on and on about how pretty I am. I act like I enjoy it, meanwhile I just want to curl up in my bed and die. Edward's face doesn't look so sad anymore. If anything, I think he's getting angry, and I hope that maybe he'll get so upset that he'll finally leave. But he doesn't, and soon enough it's midnight and everyone else is gone.

"We're closing up, so you'll have to go," I tell him. My back is to him, and I'm facing the back bar. I don't hear any movement from him, and just as I'm about to turn around and tell him again, he starts to talk.

"I had a plan, you know? My life, it was all planned out. I didn't think anything would ever get in the way of what I wanted."

I can't tell if he's drunk and just rambling, or if he's speaking honestly. Part of me hopes it's just ramblings, because otherwise I think he just insulted me. Does he mean that meeting me has ruined his life? Is that what he's trying to tell me?

"I just didn't see it clearly enough. I've been living this way for so long, that I forgot there was any other way, you know? I didn't realize that maybe what I thought was great, really wasn't all that great. Maybe there was something amazing out there for me, I just hadn't found it yet."

What? I try to keep my hands busy as he speaks. I don't want him to think I'm ignoring him, but I don't want to turn around and give him my undivided attention, either. I'm angry and hurt, and I'm sick of just letting him have me in any way he sees fit. If we're going to be together, things need to be fair and equal between us. That's the only way I can do this, if there's even anything left to do.

"There's a reason I didn't want you to write me, or call me. There's a reason I couldn't have any contact with you. Last year when I sailed out of this harbor, it was the first time in my whole life that I got to the Pacific, and I wanted to turn around."

Wait, what? He didn't want to leave? I look to my left, trying to see him sitting at the bar, without making it obvious, and what I see tears my heart out. He's sitting with his beer bottle between his hands, staring down at it. His shoulders are hunched over, and I've never seen him look this defeated before. I want more than anything to go to him, to pull him into my arms and beg him to just tell me why he did what he did. Why he had to be with other women. Why he had to leave me. Why? I don't understand why.

"I don't have relationships because they aren't a luxury I can afford. My life isn't like that. And for the first time, all I wanted was to be able to stay here with you, to not have to leave. To stand next to you on that dock and watch as my crew sailed away. But I couldn't. You don't even understand how tightly I'm bound, Bella. You have no idea."

"So tell me," I whisper, hoping he can hear me. He's silent for a few seconds, then he sighs heavily.

"I don't fish for myself. I have contracts with companies. I fish for them, and they pay me for it. When I started out, I thought it was a great idea. It was job security. There were so many boats and so many crews, it was hard to get a foot in the door. But once I signed with these companies, it was easy, simple. All I had to do was report to them by a certain day, do some fishing, and I got paid. I liked the adventure of it, it was exciting. I liked seeing places and meeting people. I liked the different women all the time, and I liked being away from them, so that when things ended, I didn't have to see them every day. For a young, single guy, it was great."

I close my eyes as I listen to him talk about his past conquests. I don't want to hear it, but if I ever want to fully understand Edward, I think I need to. He didn't belong to me then, and he didn't do anything wrong, or anything that most men his age wouldn't have done. But it still hurts, hearing that he's been with other women in the same ways he's been with me. I wonder if he ever wanted someone else the way he claims to want me.

"Bella, I was with those other women because I was trying to forget you. They weren't random women, they were ones I've known for years—ones I was comfortable with. I thought if I could just get far enough away from you, and if enough time passed, then I could do it. I could get over you. But what I didn't realize was...it's not possible. I've never met anyone like you before, and I've never felt like this about anyone else. I don't think I ever will."

My heart starts to pound, but still, I don't look at him. There's so much more I need to hear before I even think about talking to him.

"Carmen was in Argentina. She's older, a widow in her early 40's, I think. She's safe, she doesn't want anything from me, aside from friendship, or whatever you want to call it. As soon as we docked, I found her, and I tried, Bella. I wanted to fuck her so that I could get you out of my head, but it didn't work. I couldn't even get it up with her. I was so embarrassed, but she knew exactly what was going on. She told me to leave, to come back here before I ruined everything, but I couldn't. I had commitments I had to uphold, you know? I mean, how stupid is that?"

His words make me cringe, and I fight back the tears that are starting to pool in my eyes.

"It was bad. I was depressed, and I just fished all the time. My guys were so mad at me, but at least if I was on the water doing something, I didn't have time to sit and think about you. I saw Carmen a lot, and I kissed her, but she wasn't you. I'd see her brown eyes and notice that they weren't the right shade of brown. And her brown hair was dark, but it was too straight for me. She wasn't who I wanted. When I left, she hugged me and she told me to be happy. She told me to come back here to you. She's the one who made me send you that postcard. I didn't know what to write, I felt so guilty about everything. I'd lied to you, I'd left you, I'd tried to be with someone else. I thought maybe if you were with another guy, then I wouldn't feel so bad. That's why I said that thing about Newton. I knew you'd be sitting home waiting for me, no matter what I told you before I left. I just hoped that maybe if I told you not to date him, that you'd go out and do it, just as a 'screw you' to me. But you didn't, did you? You were so good, Bella. You _are_ so good."

He sniffles, and as I glance behind me again, I see his hand rise up his face and wipe at his eyes. The idea of him crying over me makes my stomach twist, and I grab onto the counter to keep myself in place.

"We went to Maine after that. It was a lot the same as Argentina, and we just fished most of the time. I didn't call any of the women I know there. At least not until my parents came to visit. Their friends, Liam and Maggie, live there. They have daughters, and one of them, Chelsea, is someone I've hooked up with before. I see her every year, and it's easy with her. She didn't want to be tied down, and I never did either, so it was a good arrangement. We'd get together, fuck around, and then go back to our lives. I liked it, it worked for me. So when my parents were there and I saw Chelsea and her family, it was simple. I didn't even have to think about it. But she's nothing like you, Bella. She's different, but not anywhere near good enough. With her distracting me, for the first time in months, I wasn't completely consumed by memories of you. And when I was with her, I just tried to pay attention to her blonde hair, and her blue eyes, and it was easy to forget the brown I always see with you. But I was fooling myself."

I hold back a sob that I know is coming. I don't know if I can stand here and listen to him talk about being with someone else. I may vomit, I don't know.

"I was with her. I had sex with her. I fucked her. There's no nice way to put it, because it wasn't nice. It was fast and it was dirty and it was soul crushing, and it wasn't over soon enough. I left her that night and I was so angry at myself, what I'd done. What I was doing to you."

I glance back, seeing his hat on the counter and his hand running through his hair. I was right, it's a mess and looks like it hasn't been combed for days.

"I think I just shut down, because any time I wasn't on the boat, I was drunk. If I was drinking, then remembering you didn't hurt as much, and it was easy to be careless. I could let my instincts take over, rule my actions. I don't remember a lot of what I did, but I know Chelsea was there for most of it. She was trying to impress her friends or something, I don't know. I was just a toy to her, and I let her do what she wanted with me. I'm not proud of it, but I want you to know. I want you to know what I was without you, and how much better I am when you're with me. I think that's why my mom was excited about me and Chelsea ending up together. She thought something was actually going to happen with us," he says with a sad laugh. "My dad pulled me aside the night before they left to go back home. He knew I wasn't okay. I told him about you, and he asked me why I was there, and why I was doing what I was doing. I didn't even have an answer. It's just what I always do, and I needed to do what I always do."

Part of me wants to beat the living shit out of this Chelsea girl, and not just because I'm jealous of her being with Edward. But the fact that she could treat him like such a nothing, when he's everything...it makes me furious. I hate it.

"I wrote you that letter after my parents left and I told Chelsea I was done. I didn't see her again, and I won't see her again. Not ever. As soon as my contracted amount was filled, we left. All I wanted was to come back here and see you. I didn't know what I'd find when I came back, but it certainly wasn't this. I don't know, I guess I just expected you to either be excited to see me and that you'd not care what I did, or else you'd hate me. But this...this way you are, I just don't know what to do with that. I don't think I'm explaining this the right way, and I need you to understand."

I let out a shaky breath, turning around so that I'm facing him. "So tell me. Make me understand, because, I don't. I don't know how you could say you care about me, and then run away to fuck around with other women. How do you do that?" I ask, my voice breaking. Tears are sliding down my cheeks, and I'm biting hard on my bottom lip as I try to hold back the full extent of my emotions. Edward is worked up enough, I don't want to push him over the edge, but at the same time, he deserves to see what he's done to me. It's only fair.

"My life isn't my own, Bella. I have responsibilities, people depend on me. I can't let them down. You don't know how much that wears on me. All day, every day, I'm responsible for people, Bella. Do you get that? Honestly?" His eyes are staring into mine and I know he's trying to convey just how serious he is.

"No, I don't get it."

He forces a long, deep breath from his nose as his lips press tightly together. "Did you know Jared has a sister in an assisted living home in Seattle? His mom left her alone in the tub when she was little, just for a minute, and she almost drown. They were so happy when they were able to save her, but they didn't find out about the brain damage until later. She's never walked, never spoken, never fed herself, never done anything on her own. His mom took care of her until she had a stroke and died a few years back. His dad couldn't handle it, and he put Jared's sister in a home. It's expensive, Bella. He couldn't pay the bills, so he took off, and left Jared to handle it. That's why he fishes with me. Everything he earns in one season here goes toward paying for her care for the rest of the year. Then when I leave, he goes back to his manual labor job so that he can support himself. He hasn't fished long enough to get on with any of these other boats, so I'm his only option."

I watch Edward closely, seeing the worry etched in his face.

"And did you know Jasper's dad is a drunk, and he spends every penny he earns at the casinos? If it weren't for Jasper, his parents would have lost their house years ago. Jasper sends his mother money every month and that's how his parents live. And now he wants to take care of Alice, so he's trying to save up so that he can quit fishing and support her. He doesn't want her to live this life anymore, spending most of her year without him."

His hand wraps around his beer bottle, turning it on it's edge as he rolls it around.

"And Paul's divorced. He has three little kids that his ex wife won't let him see. She cheated on him with his best friend, then filed for divorce, claiming Paul beat her. It was a lie, obviously, but the judge sided with the wench. She ordered that Paul pay ridiculous amounts in child support and spousal support, even though they're all off living with his ex friend now. Paul's parents are loaded, but they disowned him after the divorce. They chose to believe his ex and all her lies. Without their help, there's no way he could have afforded the amount each month, not on the salary he was making before. He basically paid every dime he earned to her, and in return? She packed up his kids and moved to Montana, and she won't let him see them. She got some bogus restraining order against him, so he can't go anywhere near them. He hasn't seen his kids in almost three years. But if he misses one payment, she sends the police after him, then he gets to pay bail _and_ his support payments. At least fishing, he can pay her and still have a little money to save up. Plus he's gone, so he doesn't have as much free time to sit around missing his kids—it doesn't hurt so much."

I'm trying to wrap my head around all these stories, and wondering why he's telling me these things. They have nothing to do with him, do they?

"You see, Bella, all those guys count on me. If I don't fish, they don't work, and if they don't work, they can't pay their bills. It's not them that suffers, it's their families. And honestly, don't even get me started on Alex and Embry. No one should ever have to deal with what they deal with. They're why I have to fish, Bella. They're why I can't stay put in one spot. Not ever. They're why I signed contracts with fishing companies, so that I could ensure they'll all have jobs. They're why I can't afford to get attached to anyone, ever. I don't do this for me. I mean, I love it and I love the water, and up until last year, I never saw myself doing anything other than this. But now?"

He looks up, his eyes piercing into mine.

"I would give it all up in a second if I could. If it meant that I could stay here and be with you forever, I'd walk away and never look back. But I can't, Bella. I can't let them down like that. They depend on me, Bella." He sniffles as tears trickle down his cheeks. I can't help but suck in a shaky breath as I cry along with him. "If only I could have met you a few years ago, or a few years from now, things could be so different. But I didn't, and they aren't. There's nothing I can do, no matter how much I want to. It's not my choice to make. I'm bound, Bella. I'm stuck, and I can't walk away."

His words are breaking my heart. He's so good, he's trying so hard to do what's right for everyone else. He's put himself last for so long, and I wish so much that I could change it. I wish that I could take away his burdens for him, but I can't.

"Besides," he says with a laugh. "I have nothing to offer you. I have a boat, and some money in a bank account in Florida, and that's it. If I stayed here with you, I'd have to break my contracts, and I'd lose my boat and all my savings, plus I'd be paying off the remainder of my contracts for years. I can't burden you with that. What kind of man would that make me?" He pauses, looking back down at the bottle in his hands. "I have no house, no car, no steady job. I have nothing to give you, Bella. And now that I've lost you, I honestly have nothing left."

He lays his forehead on the bar top and I watch as his shoulders shake. Listening to him sob is killing me, and I think about all the things he's said. Everything he did, he did with the best of intentions. Even going off with Carmen and Chelsea. He didn't do that to hurt me, or because he was trying to play some game. He did it so that he could free himself of me and help his crew. It's so unfair, that we had to meet now. Like he said, if only we'd met a few years ago, or a few years from now, maybe things would have been different. Maybe we could have been together for real and made it work. But that didn't happen. All I can deal with is what's real, and what's here and now. I have to chose what I want my life to be. It's up to me...it's my choice.

Watching him crumble before me, I know the choice is already made.

I take a shaky step forward, then another, and another. When I pass around the end of the bar, I'm standing just a few feet from him. Stopping, I look at the door. Either I can open it and send him away, or I can be an adult and put the good of others before myself, like Edward's done. He lifts his head and looks at me, his eyes red and watery, and I turn toward him, moving until I'm finally standing in front of him. I can see from the look on his face that he truly believes we're over. I don't want to see that look ever again.

Taking hold of his hands, I turn him so that I can step in between his knees. Once I know I have his full attention, I sigh.

"You have me, Edward. You'll always have me."

He watches me closely, obviously waiting for me to tell him it's a lie. When that doesn't happen, he leans forward, wrapping me up in his arms and hugging me so tightly, I feel I might burst. But he doesn't let go, and neither do I. It isn't until several minutes later that I pull him from his chair, lock the front door, and take him upstairs to my apartment. I hold him all night, telling him over and over again that he has nothing to worry about, that I'm here, that I'm not going anywhere, and that I'm his.

And it's true. It's all true.

~*0*~

The sun rises early. It's June and the days are long now. It's raining when we wake up, and we lay in my bed listening to the water beat down on my roof. Edward lazily kisses me over and over again, refusing to take things any farther. I get the feeling he thinks we're still just trying things out, but I know what I want. Or in this case, who I want. But I'll let him do things the way he wants to. For now, anyway.

"You still want me? You still mean all the things you said last night?" he whispers.

"Yes, of course I do."

"I want to date you, Bella. I want to do things the right way—the way I should have done them before."

The sweetness in his words melts my heart, and I want it, too.

"You have to understand I still can't promise you anything more than right now. Not because I don't want to, but because right now is all I have. I hope you know that. If I could stay, I would."

I look at him for a moment, memorizing the honesty in his face, seeing it in his eyes. "I know, and I won't ask for anything more than just this time, right now. But you have to promise me something."

"Anything, if I can."

I move my face so that my nose is only an inch or two away from him. "No more women. Period. No matter where you are, I'm it. And I won't date anyone else. Promise me."

"Bella, I don't want anyone else. I've already decided you're it for me, there will never be another woman more perfect for me. But you...you have so much to offer someone—to give someone. I could never live with myself if I knew I kept you hidden away from other prospects. If I stole you from the wonderful life you should have."

I think about our situation for a moment before offering a way to fix things.

"How much longer do you have on your contracts?" I ask.

"Three years for each of them. Why?"

"I can wait three years, Edward. If it means I get you when the three years are over, I can do it."

He smiles, rubbing his nose against mine. "You have no idea how I feel about you, Bella."

His small admission makes me laugh. "I think I do, baby. I don't think it's much different from how I feel about you."

"I want to take you somewhere. There's this place not too far from here. It's a mountain that overlooks the entrance to the Pacific Ocean. It's beautiful, and there's this little meadow. We could camp there for a couple of nights, what do you think?"

He seems so excited, and I just don't have the heart to tell him that I don't see how it's going to work.

"But you have a fishing trip soon, right?" I ask, thinking he's probably leaving in a couple of days.

"No, I'll sit this one out. You're more important. Besides, Jasper's been dying to head up a trip, so I think I'll let him."

"And I don't have anything to camp with. I mean, I'm sure my dad does, but if I ask him, then he'll want to know where I'm going, and with who. I don't want to open us up for that just yet."

"We'll buy some stuff. After all, if we're really going to do this thing—us being together—I want us to go there as often as we can. We'll go to that sporting goods store in Port Angeles, where no one will know us, and we can get everything we'll need."

"Okay," I softly say, raising my hand up to cup his cheek.

"Okay," he smiles. "You'll love it, I promise."

His words make me laugh. "Of course I'll love it. I'll be with you."

We lay silently for several minutes before I speak again.

"Edward, I just need to know something. If you got a job offer here, and your contracts went away, and you could be sure all of your crew got on with good captains, would you stay here with me?

I feel his breath on my neck as he settles in against me. "Without a doubt, baby. You know I would."

I smile again as I close my eyes, letting sleep consume me. The last sensation I feel are Edward's lips against my forehead.

I love it when he does that.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: See what I said? Edward has his reasons. :) Maybe he was stupid about it, but he had good intentions, and that's gotta count for something, right? :D**

**And Jared, Jasper, Paul, Alex, and Embry are Edward's crew, the guys who sail with him. :)  
**

**You have no idea how much time I spent researching the next chapter, and about 2 paragraphs actually pertain to it. Ugh...but it makes the story feel good. :D**


	15. Chapter 15 Tent

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #25 – Tent  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a writing program that decided to be a butthead for the night. It's looking like we're lucky this chapter's even getting posted on time...stupid program on my laptop. What the heck? Ugh... **

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**A lot of you aren't too sure yet that you trust Edward. I get it - once bitten, twice shy - and all that. Actions speak louder than words, so we'll just see what happens in the next ten chapters. :) Oh, and I researched for this chapter for like five hours, not even joking. How sad am I? :D But there are a lot of pretty pictures of the Olympic Mountain Range, and I may have gotten sidetracked a few times. Given that, I've taken a few liberties, so if you've been to any of the places mentioned and you know how full of crap I am, just let it go, please. :D Or tell me, 'cause I'd actually love to know if some of this is even plausible. :D**

**Now, on with the show! :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 15**

**~*0*~ Tent ~*0*~**

True to his word, Edward lets Jasper lead the next fishing trip. While Edward helps the crew get ready, I rearrange the work schedule so that I can take the weekend off. Rose isn't happy when I have to borrow someone from the Forks bar, and she really isn't happy when I refuse to tell her who I'm going camping with, but I don't care. I'll do whatever I have to do to make this happen. Edward and I need time together, and preferably alone and uninterrupted, so that we can work through the things that are still hanging over our heads.

It's a Thursday afternoon when we drive to Port Angeles to find the nearest local sporting goods store. There are a couple of smaller ones in and near Forks, but I can't run the risk of anyone seeing Edward and I together. I know word would get back to my dad, as well as Rose, and I want to make sure that Edward and I are solid with each other before we decide to take on those fights that I know are awaiting us. Plus I like being in the car with Edward while we drive. He tells me about his fishing experiences and about the places he's been. I haven't ever seen anything as interesting as what he describes, and I hang on every word he says. It all sounds so amazing. I wonder if maybe someday I'll get to see those places with him. I hope I will.

Port Angeles Outfitters is a huge store, and it takes us most of the afternoon to find all the equipment we'll need for our camping trip. I know Edward is buying extra things, things we won't need this weekend, but like he said, this might become a regular outing for us. I like the thought of being alone in the forest with him. My mind wanders to all the things I'd like to do to him in the forest, when we're alone, with no one around for miles and miles.

"What do you think about these? They're rated for below freezing temperatures. You think you'll be okay with that, or you want something warmer?" he asks me, holding up a large blue sleeping bag. There's a whole wall full of different colors, and when I ask him why he chose blue, he stumbles over his words and looks a little sheepish.

"What?" I ask.

"I like you in blue, it looks nice against your skin."

I smile, understanding what he's doing. He expects me to be naked when I'm in the sleeping bag, so that's why he wants blue—because it will look nice on me.

Edward goes off to find some lanterns while I browse through the clothing section, wondering if I should buy some thermals and warmer socks.

"Edward Cullen?" I hear yelled across the store. I glance toward where the voice came from, but I can't see anyone. It's in the general direction that Edward went, and it's female, which has me worried. I know he said no more women ever, but this will be the first real test of that promise. I quickly rehang the shirt I was looking at and turn my cart around, heading toward where Edward is supposed to be.

"You're back! I heard you would be back sometime soon. I'm so excited to see you. You look great, baby, really." The woman's voice is sickeningly sweet, and dripping with lust and sex. She's trying her hardest to worm her way into Edward, and I really hope, for the sake of my heart, that he doesn't let her.

"Hey, Tanya. Long time, no see."

"Oh Edward, honey, it hasn't been that long. I remember it like it was yesterday."

"Yeah, I'm sure you do," Edward says. They're in the aisle next to me, and I pause, trying to listen without being caught.

"So how long you here for? The regular four months? You need some company this season? I'm around, and I'd love to come see you sometime."

I lean against the shelf, my head tilting back and resting there. I hear Edward clear his throat, and shuffle around a bit. I imagine he's trying to get away from the woman, but maybe he's not. Maybe he's getting closer. I don't know. What I do know is that I wish this store had see through shelves, like at the library.

"Uh, yeah I'm here for the season, but I'm probably not very good company for you, Tanya. Although I'm sure some of the other guys around the apartments would love to meet you."

"Oh you silly man, I only want you. Don't you know that?"

"Sorry, Tanya, but I'm not available anymore. It was good to see you. Now, if you'll excuse me."

I hear her huff in anger. "Oh please, like Edward Cullen is off the market. Right, whatever. I don't buy that big fat lie, Eddie. You know you missed me. Don't you remember the things I can do to you, baby?" she purrs to him. Her voice is making me feel sick, and it seems like I've heard it somewhere before.

Hearing her come on to him spurs something inside of me, and I immediately put the cart in motion, and hurry to the end of the aisle. I turn down his row, but Edward doesn't see me. He's got his back to me and he's trying to move away from the woman. I trip over my feet just a bit when I realize I've seen her before. It's the woman from the Forks High graduation, the one from the bathroom. My heart stutters as I remember how I compared myself to her then, and even now I still don't feel like I measure up. As I get closer to him, I wonder for a brief moment if Edward will even want me there with him. One look at me and the woman is going to think Edward's lying about having a girlfriend. I'm not nearly pretty enough to be with him.

He turns just a bit and sees me, a huge smile growing on his face.

"Bella, baby, there you are. I've been looking everywhere." He hurries and walks to me, pulling me against him and kissing me hard and fast. I love it, and I return it with every bit of passion I have in me at that moment.

Once we separate, I hear the woman huff and stomp her foot. Edward tangles his fingers with mine, then turns around.

"Tanya, this is my girlfriend, Bella. Bella, Tanya Newton. Her aunt and uncle own this place."

Newton, as in Mike? Well, that could be an answer as to why Edward and Mike seem to dislike each other.

"Tanya, nice to meet you," I say, holding out my hand to her. I'm trying to be civil, though all I really want to do is scratch her eyes out and erase her memory. The way she's looking at Edward, I know she's recalling the moments she's spent with him. She rolls her eyes and hmp's and huhs's, but finally sucks it up and shakes my hand. Her hands are soft, but they remind me a bit of a dead fish. And that perfume she's wearing...it smells kind of like a dead fish, too. I'm not sure how Edward got past all of her negative attributes to see the positive ones, if there are any aside from her looks. It's probably mean to say that, but I don't care. This woman wants my boyfriend, and that just isn't going to happen.

"Well, we've gotta get going, so we'll see ya, Tanya," Edward says, turning me around and leading me down the aisle and away from Tanya. He has his arm around my waist, his hand in the back pocket of my jeans, and I try and shake my ass just a little more than normal. I'm sure my actions have nothing to do with the fact that Tanya's standing behind us, and I know she's watching us walk away.

We grab a few more things, and then decide we're done and ready to head over to the grocery store for our food. At the counter, a nice older man is there, and when I see him, I'm instantly reminded of Mike. It must be his father, and he smiles warmly at me.

"Good afternoon, folks. Did you find everything okay?" he asks me, scanning the items we're getting as I set them on the counter.

"Yes, thank you."

We continue through the transaction, and just as we're paying and getting our bags, Tanya shows up again.

"Hey Edward, my friends and I are having a little get together at the club we always go to. I'm sure you remember. Anyway, why don't you come? You can bring your friend, if you want. There will be lots of people, and I'd love to spend some more time with you."

I know she's not talking PG rated time, and I stiffen a little, waiting to see what Edward will say.

"Thanks, Tanya, but we're pretty busy. Sorry."

"But you didn't even ask what night it is. It's this Saturday, at around ten. You'll come, right?"

I kind of feel sorry for this girl. She seems to have no clue that Edward is not interested, and she just keeps pressing him.

"Oh, bummer," Edward says with an overly exaggerated sad sound in his voice. "We'll be gone camping this weekend. Just the two of us...alone in the forest." He looks at me and seems to almost growl. "We can't make it." His eyes never leave mine, and I get the feeling if it weren't for Mr. Newton behind the counter, we'd be making out by now. I know I wouldn't be opposed to it.

Edward grabs my hand and pushes our basket out of the store without another word to Tanya. I'm giggling a bit by the time we get to the car and pack all of our purchases into it. I tease Edward about his fine choice in women, to which he simply replies, "Baby, I told you that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Yeah, he might have said that once or twice.

~*0*~

We drive along the coast from Clallam Bay to Neah Bay, then turn toward the forest. Edward has some special place he wants to take me, and I'm excited to see it. Leah was cool about me going for the weekend, but she's still not convinced that Edward and I are doing things the right way. She thinks we should have stayed up all night hashing everything out, but I don't feel that way. We're doing what we think is best, and I feel like we'll be okay if we just keep talking and trying.

"See that mountain? That's Bahokus Peak. The road we're taking goes up there. And behind it is where we're camping. That other mountain is Archawat Peak. It's a little more off the beaten path, so I think we'll have lots of alone time." He's smiling and holding my hand as he drives. I have my window open and the air is crisp and warm. The sun is actually shining, which I'm taking as a good sign for the weekend.

We take the paved road in as far as we can go, then Edward maneuvers along dirt paths in the forest. I'm a little nervous, but he swears his dad used to bring him here as a kid, and he knows where we are. We reach a little meadow area, and he stops the car. It's beautiful, with wild flowers blooming everywhere, and swaying in the breeze. We're high up, and I wonder if we hike to the top of the little mountain, if we'll be able to see the ocean.

Edward sets up our tent and gets the sleeping bags arranged, then we get to work on a campfire and our dinner. The evening passes quickly, and we spend a lot of time laughing and joking with each other. It's calm and relaxing, and I love the ease that's between us. As darkness begins to fall, Edward suggests we go to bed early, since he wants to hike the peak tomorrow. He also mentions a small reservoir somewhere nearby, and that we might go swimming. I laugh and tell him that I didn't bring a swimming suit, so we can't do that.

He laughs and says he knows, that neither did he.

~*0*~

Our hike is a lot of fun, and Edward's patient and slow, helping me along much of the trail. At one point when I turn my ankle, he carries me for a bit, before deciding it's time for us to have our picnic lunch. By noon, we reach the top of Archawat Peak and I look out to see the ocean on my left, and the Strait of Juan de Fuca on my right.

"In October, when I leave again, you and Alice should come here and watch for us. If you have some binoculars, you should be able to see us sail through the Strait there and then out into the Pacific."

Edward says it in such a matter of fact way, that it knocks me out of the moment. It reminds me that what we have isn't forever. Not yet, anyway. Maybe someday it will be, but not yet.

"Yeah, maybe," I say quietly.

"I love this part. Every time we're sailing up the Strait, we pass that little island right off Neah Bay, and I know it's coming. Then it's like the whole world just opens up, and there's nothing but blue in front of you. It feels like it could just go on forever and ever. It's so amazing." I watch Edward as he looks out at the ocean, and I can see how much he loves sailing. The way his eyes are lit up, with so much peace on his face... I would never want to be responsible for taking that look away from him.

We stay a little while, watching as a few boats sail out into the Pacific, and I wonder if Edward wishes he'd gone with Jasper and his crew. It starts to rain just a bit, not much more than a mist, but judging by the clouds that are coming our way, we don't have a lot of time to get back to our campsite.

By the time we make it off the mountain, we're both soaked, and laughing hysterically. We get to the tent, but not wanting to track our muddy shoes and clothes in, decide to strip under the awning that Edward's set up next to it. I try not to watch him remove his clothes, but I can't help it. The way his muscles move and twist is mesmerizing, and soon enough I notice I only have my shoes and socks off, while he's down to his boxers.

"What? Come on, it's freezing!" he says, before hurrying into the tent. Without him to distract me, the rest of my clothes are soon laying across a folding chair, and I'm inside the tent with Edward. "Come here, let's warm you up," he says, holding a towel in his hands and waiting for me. My teeth are chattering as I let him dry my wet, chilled skin, rubbing the towel all over my body, and then through my hair. Once he's done, he looks at me, his eyes burning with desire. "What, Bella?"

I can't stop myself, and I kiss him. Softly at first, but then pressing myself against him and making the kiss more forceful. He meets me move for move, until finally he pulls away just a bit, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Are you sure about this? I don't want to rush anything, baby. We can wait, it's okay."

I look up into his eyes, letting my hands smooth over his cheeks. "I'm sure. I want you, always. I know we have to work through a lot of things, and we will, but that doesn't mean that I can just turn off how I feel about you."

"I don't want you to regret anything, Bella. Please, just be sure."

Smiling, I lean forward and kiss him ever so gently. "Lay with me, and we can talk, okay?" I ask. He nods, and soon we're snuggled together in the sleeping bag bed he's made for us.

We talk and kiss, then talk and touch. All afternoon we share our lives, then we share our bodies, and I've never felt so fulfilled. Not ever. I can imagine us doing this when we're old and gray, and I want it. I want a life with Edward, even if it's hard and we have to work at it. It will be worth it, and I know that, as I run my fingers through his hair, his head resting on my chest. I know he's asleep, but I whisper it so softly, just so he won't hear me.

"I love you."

And I do.

~*0*~

The next couple of months pass by in relatively the same way as the first weekend. Edward and I are happy, we're content. We talk a lot, which is sometimes great, and sometimes hard. I try not to judge him for the things he's done in the past, and he does the same for me. He apologizes over and over again, for the things he's said and the things he's done, but I don't want to hear it. His actions are telling me so much more than his words ever could. We decide that we have to be one hundred percent open with each other, and that we'll hold nothing back. Seeing how attentive and sweet he is when he's with me, I find myself falling harder and harder with each passing day. Knowing how happy he is when he's on the water makes our little separations easier to handle, as well as knowing how things between us will be once he's back.

And they're good. Reunion sex is amazing, and he leaves me panting and spent each and every time. Leah seems to be on board with the progression of our relationship, though she continues to remind me that he's leaving near the end of the season. She tells me over and over again that I need to maintain some kind of personal life so that I won't be completely devastated while he's gone. I know she's right, but I can't help it. I love being with Edward, and I can't pass up any chance I have to spend time with him. He'll be gone soon, and then I'll have plenty of time on my own, but for now, I don't want to miss anything.

We camp a lot, and go to several different areas nearby. One of our trips finds us at Lake Ozette. It's one that I know my father fishes at quite often, and as much as I love Swan Bay there, I know that's his favorite spot, too. We camp at the mouth of Boot Bay on the east side of the lake, and spend our days hiking through the forest, or searching out local waterfalls and hot springs. The area is so beautiful, and having Edward with me makes it even better. I take a lot of pictures, hoping they'll be enough to get me through eight months without him.

One night as we're sitting near our campfire, Edward asks if I'll go skinny dipping in the lake with him. We're not completely alone, and I know there are other campers not too far down the beach from us, but the moon is full and Edward is doing unthinkable things to me, and I can't say no.

Once I'm naked and standing on the shore, I drop my towel on the beach and step into the water. It's cool and calm, and the moonlight is reflecting off the tiny waves. Edward holds my hand as he pulls me farther out into the lake, and when the water reaches just under my breasts, he turns me toward him.

"Have you ever fucked in a lake, Bella?" he asks, his mouth kissing my neck as his fingers search out the parts of me hidden by the murky blackness around us.

"No," I moan. I can hear people laughing not far from us, and the thrill of being caught is coursing through my body.

"Turn around," he says, spinning me in his arms. He bends down a bit, so that he's more level with me, and I feel him hard and behind me. His fingers slip into me and pump a few times before I feel him press the head of his cock into me. With one quick upward thrust, he fills me, and causes me to cry out in ecstasy. His arms wrap around my chest, cupping my tits and squeezing them as he continues to thrust into me again and again. I don't have anything to hold onto, but the water is buoying me up a bit.

"Edward, oh baby," I whisper, reaching back and grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck. I lean back against him and turn my head, searching out his lips. He kisses me so good, and it feels so right as he pounds into me harder with each passing moment.

"Touch yourself," he says against my lips, and I move my hand down to where we're joined. My fingers find my clit, and I start to rub, loving the sensations that are shooting through my body. He breaks our kiss and bends me forward just the slightest bit, and then I feel his hand between us. It's on my back, moving farther down. I'm not sure of what he's doing until I feel him press hard against me, and his thumb slips into my ass. The feeling makes me feel like I'll explode, and as he pushes repeatedly into both of my holes, and my fingers fly over my clit, I feel myself come undone. I can't stop the sounds pouring from my body as my orgasm consumes me, and it makes Edward slam into me that much harder.

"Yeah, baby, that's it. Let go, Bella. Come for me," he calls out, and I know anyone near us can hear what we're doing.

"Aahhhhh," I mutter as I shake and anticipate his climax. I'm getting to know his body and his "tells" during sex, and I know he's close. "Fuck me hard, Edward!" I yell, and it's enough to send him over the edge.

"Shit, baby, that was good." His words are breathy, and he's winded. I love it when I wear him out, like he constantly does to me.

Once we're both finished and regain our senses, he pulls out of me and turns me around. His lips are on mine and he kisses me like his life depends on it. Maybe it does. Maybe I do that to him. I know he does it to me.

"We gotta start being more careful," he says, and I know he means the fact that he didn't wear a condom.

"It's fine, I'm on the pill, so we're okay."

"Yeah, but we should still be careful. I know we're both safe, but I wouldn't ever want to risk hurting you, Bella."

We've talked about how neither of us has ever had sex without a condom, and that the only reason we occasionally do it now is because we're committed to each other. Edward worries about the pill I take not being effective, but I know it's fine. I've been on it for years, and never had any trouble. Not even when condoms broke. I laugh and tell him he worries too much.

We swim and play in the water for a while, before finally getting our towels and going back to our tent, where we make love again on top of our sleeping bags. The night is warm, and we have the window flaps open to let a breeze in. Maybe people can hear us, but I don't care. I'm in love with Edward, and I don't care anymore who knows. Not even my dad and Rosalie. Although, I'm not going to tell them just yet.

Alice laughs at me sometimes, telling me that I romanticize things too much. All my talk of making love is silly to her. I know before it was always just sex and fucking, but something is different now. I can feel it, and sometimes I think Edward feels it, too. I think it scares him more than it scares me, but it's okay. He'll figure it out eventually, and until then, I take advantage of the safe harbor his arms offer me, and I let go of the worry and despair that once threatened my happiness.

Edward may not be perfect, and we may have a lot of issues, but I know in my heart that it will all work out. He's the one for me, and I'll never let him go.

**~*0*~ EPOV ~*0*~**

I love her.

I think.

I know I've never felt this way about anyone else before, so that must mean it's love, right? She's the only woman I would ever give up my life for. My dad said it's love, and then he laughed at me. So much for fatherly support. Fucker.

I watch her sometimes. I see the beauty emanating from her, and it's blinding. I don't know what I ever did to deserve her, but she says I do, that I deserve to be wanted and cherished and happy. I hope she's right.

I've tried to do the right thing in the past, tried to take care of those around me. I never put myself first, and even now, it's her. She's first. Not me. I do everything I do with the idea of making her happy, of giving her what she wants and needs. I only hope it's enough.

The way she moved past what I've done to her...it's inspiring. And humbling. I don't know that I could be as good as she is. As kind, as patient, as loving. I know she loves me. I heard her whisper it on our first camping trip together. That's what made me wonder if that's what I was feeling.

I don't know if I deserve her, but I want her. I won't let her go without a fight. But I see how dependent she is on me, and it hurts me to think of leaving her. I know she'll be okay without me, but I can't say the same for me. I need to find a way to get her to me, get her to visit me. I can't go eight months without her. I just can't.

It's not long until I have to leave, and I have something planned for us, something special. I want it to be a moment she'll never forget, no matter what happens to us.

I think I'm going to tell her, make sure she knows. She has my heart. She might already know, but I haven't told her yet.

But soon. I'll tell her soon.

And then she'll know.

I love her.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: I like Edward. :) He loves her... Ahhhhhh. :D **

**Like I've said before, we're going to assume – unless otherwise noted – that ALL sex is safe, including use a condom, even though the story might not mention it. Slowing down to roll a condom on isn't always sexy and fun, so I'm not gonna include it in every lemon this story has. :) There will be times, like this chapter, when they have sex without one, and that's cool. But there will be a mention of the lack of rubber when that happens, okie dokie?**

**_Unchanged Affections_ likes Chapter 16, so that's a good sign. :) I always giggle just a bit when she says things like that to me. :D**

**See you soon...**


	16. Chapter 16 Seattle

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #23 – Seattle  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an eleven year old boy who informed me Sunday afternoon that his Year End Science Project is due Monday morning, and he needed a display board for the experiment that he didn't even really do. WHAT? This is NOT something a mother wants to hear, especially when the plants he was "experimenting" on died 2 months ago because he forgot to water them, which was the whole basis of the experiment! Oh good gravy...dang kid. :( Needless to say, Sunday was spent helping him figure something out, and Sunday night was spent typing, printing, cutting, and gluing all the information on the display board. I'll post a picture of my, I mean his, science experiment on the Facebook group. :)**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**So, Edward's thinking he loves Bella. And Bella's thinking she loves Edward. What could possibly go wrong with that? :D **

**All hail the return of Kinkward. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 16**

**~*0*~ Seattle ~*0*~**

As October approaches, I start to get nervous. Things with Edward are so good, so perfect. I know that Edward will leave soon, but I want more than anything to ask him to stay. I don't, because I know it will just cause him hurt and heartache, and I don't want to do that to him. I'm comfortable in the knowledge that I love him, though I have yet to tell him. With his departure date quickly approaching, I try to come up with a plan—a way that I can tell him without hurting him.

We've had a few close calls with Rose and my dad finding out about us. I tell myself that I don't care if they know, but I do. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed in any way, I'm just nervous about what will happen during me and Edward's time apart. If he goes back to his old ways, I'll never be able to live that down with my family. I don't want a lifetime of listening to Rosalie saying "I told you so," and I try my hardest to keep it a secret.

"Hey babe?" Edward calls from my bathroom. He's just out of the shower and getting ready to leave for a short fishing trip.

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking, I want to take you to Seattle next week. Can you get away?"

I sit on my bed, checking Facebook and all the status updates of my old college friends. It's amazing how different my life is now to what it once was. I see a message from Eric, and cringe. Every so often, he sends me something. Sometimes it's a suggestive picture. Sometimes it's a poem or song. Other times it's just a note saying how much he misses me, and how he can't wait for me to come back so we can pick up where we left off. I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not ever planning on coming back, so I close the page and put my laptop on my nightstand.

"Um, I can probably go. Just depends what days you want to be gone."

Edward walks into the room, only a towel wrapped around his waist. "I'm thinking Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I'm supposed to leave on our last trip that Sunday, so that'll give me some time home with you before I have to be back on the boat."

"Sounds good to me," I say, smiling at him as he gets closer to me. He leans over the bed, causing me to lie down, then he lays on top of me. "Didn't you get enough of me already?" I joke.

"Baby, I'll never get enough of you. You should know that by now."

He kisses me softly, and I melt. It's only a matter of moments before he's stripped me bare and he's pushing into me again. He feels so good that I can't help the moans and whimpers that escape my mouth.

I'm glad he'll never get enough of me, because I know I'll never get enough of him, either.

**~*0*~**

Edward and I don't have a perfect relationship. Far from it, actually. I've learned a lot of things over the past three months. Like, when he's tired, he has no verbal filter. That's what led to his little outburst our first night back together. When he watches television, he has to be drinking something. It doesn't matter what, it could be beer, water, soda, or even juice, but there has to be something in his hand. Another thing I've noticed is how chatty he gets after sex when he's spooning me. I don't think he ever stayed around after sleeping with anyone else, so I like that I don't have to share this knowledge with any other women. But I know whenever anything is wrong with him, all I have to do is get him into bed, have sex with him, and then cuddle up next to him and wait for the word vomit to begin. I like it, and I feel like I can trust him more because of it. I hope he realizes that.

I know he's worried about leaving me, and about being apart for so long. He keeps dropping hints about me coming to visit while he's away. I'm all for it, except that this time he's going to Argentina, and then to Spain. He had his Maine assignment reworked so that he's not going back there. I'm glad for that, but I can't afford to fly to either place, and I don't think he can afford to pay for me. Plus, my going to South America or Europe would require that I get a passport. I don't know if I even want to mess with it, so I just don't.

Instead we decide that after he's finished in Argentina, I'll fly to Florida and stay with his parents for two weeks. He's planning on stopping there, so I'll be able to see him and be with him before he continues on to Spain. That flight, I can afford, and I don't need a passport, plus Alice is planning to go with me so she can see Jasper. I'm excited, and trying to come up with a cover story to tell my dad while I'm gone.

Alice tells me that she and Jasper are engaged. I'm excited for her, and a little jealous, to be honest. Not that I want to get married right away, but to have that bond with Edward would be so comforting. I feel like I can trust him while he's away, and he knows I won't be looking for anyone else, but it's always a worry in the back of my mind. Will he get bored? Will he get drunk? Will he get weak and give in to persistent women? What happens if we fight, will he go to someone else seeking comfort? It's all the situations we haven't been in before that bother me, and we won't be in them until he's thousands of miles away. He swears I have nothing to worry about, and I try my best to believe him.

I'm excited for our trip to Seattle, and when Edward returns from fishing, I'm already packed and ready to go. He laughs at my exuberance and pulls me into bed, falling right to sleep. I know he's tired, and I lay next to him, just watching him. He's so beautiful, so handsome, and so perfect. I still can't believe I found him, and that he wants me. I get mad at him sometimes, and he gets mad at me. Once, he even slept at his apartment for a few nights, until finally I went over and made him talk to me. That was the time he saw a message from Eric. I had to admit, it was rather inappropriate, but it was in no way solicited by me, and I didn't understand his jealousy. Especially after all I've put up with from his ex's.

We wake up bright and early and get on the road. It's about a four or five hour drive to Seattle, since we're taking the round about, scenic route. We'll take a ferry home, but for on the way there, I want to spend as much time as I can with Edward.

We stop at different areas, taking pictures and buying little trinkets at local souvenir shops. Edward holds my hand and puts his arms around me constantly, and I enjoy every minute of it. Seattle is a big, busy place, and every time I go there, I'm in awe of the different areas of the city. For this trip, Edward's booked a hotel and planned outings, yet refuses to tell me what they are. I give up my need to know, and just let him take control of things. The sense of wonder and excitement is enjoyable, and we're having an amazing time.

On Wednesday, we walk around Pike Street, and Edward shows me all the different types of fish and seafood available there. He shows me the different ones he's fished for, and tells me about each type. It's interesting, and I'm in awe at how much he knows about ocean life. Edward tells me a little about his time in the Coast Guard, too, and how he took classes on fish and animal habitats. I gaze up at him in amazement, soaking in every word, every smile, every look. I know I'll need them when he's gone, and they are what will help me through the long, lonely months ahead.

Our hotel is beautiful. I've never stayed anywhere so nice and elegant, and it shocks me when Edward orders our dinner at the in-house restaurant, speaking in only French. I vow to make him whisper something to me when we're making love tonight. I won't know if he's saying, "I love the way your pussy tastes on my tongue," or, "The dishes are covered with dirt and mold," but I know I'll love it.

Once we're back in our room, I slip into a new nightie I bought, just for our trip. It's green, like Edward's eyes, and sheer. I'm completely covered up, but he can still see every part of me through the fabric. His eyes widen when I walk into the room, pausing in the doorway and smiling at him. He's laying in bed, and he starts to laugh at my attempt to be sexy. Rolling over on his side, he laughs and laughs, then looks up at me with a sexy smirk and growls.

"Get over here, Bella. I see something I want."

"Oh yeah? Well, maybe you shouldn't have laughed at me. I think I might just go change my clothes. Maybe put on some sweats or something."

I turn to go back toward the bathroom, but don't make it three steps before his arms are around me and his lips are on my neck. "I see you. I want you. Get into that bed, woman. Don't keep me waiting."

I giggle at his forcefulness, and hope that maybe tonight he'll be more assertive with me. That's one thing about this new Edward—he's not as dominant with me, and I miss it. I miss my Edward from last year who demanded I get on my knees and suck his cock into my mouth. I miss my Edward who made me pull over on the side of the road just outside of town and hitch up my skirt so I could ride him in the passenger seat of my car. I miss my Edward who bent me over the counter top in the bar after closing time, and fucked me until I couldn't see straight. I like this Edward, the sweet, kind, loving one, but sometimes, I miss the wild one.

As if he could read my mind, he turns to me. "What do you want tonight, baby? Anything you want, just name it."

I swallow deep and slow. "I want you to own me tonight. Make me yours. Make me do things I've never done before, and then fuck me hard. Please."

He smiles at me for a moment before reaching up to grasp the neckline of my nightie. He pulls so hard and so fast that it stuns me for a moment, and before I know it, my pretty green lingerie is laying in pieces on the floor. His hands grab my breasts, fondling and squeezing them, letting his mouth suck one nipple in, and then the other. It feels so good that I moan and call out to him, begging him not to stop and tangling my hands in his hair as I pull his head closer to me.

His hands move to my shoulders and he pushes me down, onto my knees. I look up and meet his eyes, and see the hunger that's there. "Suck my cock, baby girl. Show me what a good little cocksucker you are."

My hands pull furiously at his shorts, relieved to find that he's going commando underneath them. His dick is hard and long, and it springs forth right in front of my face. I wrap a hand around him and pump a few times before letting my tongue dart out and lick the tip of him.

"Ugh, Bella, yes..." he groans. I watch as his head lulls back, and then I envelop him with my mouth. "So warm, baby," he whispers, and I begin to bob up and down on him. My teeth scrape the delicate skin that covers this hardness, and my tongue slides along the ridge of his head, dipping into the slit on top. I can taste his cum seeping out, and I swallow the little bits that he's giving me. His hands push into my hair, and he moves my head, setting a pace. He thrusts into me as I plunge down onto him, and it's so good. I've never given head quite like this before, never with anyone else has it ever been this good, this intense.

After several minutes, he pauses, stilling my head and tilting me so that his cock stays in my mouth, but our eyes meet. "Do you know how pretty you look with your lips wrapped around me like that? I think I need something to help me remember."

He slides out of me, leaving me shaking and yearning for him. I watch him cross the room and pick up something from the dresser, then start back toward me. When I look at his hand, I see the camera I've been using to take pictures of us, and I hear the whirl of the lens moving as he turns it on. He pauses, lifting it in front of him, and then there is a bright flash.

"I love you on your knees, baby. Do you have any idea how many times I'm gonna look at this picture over the next few months?" he asks with a grin, then continues toward me. When he's in front of me again, his hand takes hold of his cock. "Open." I do, and he pushes into my mouth with a moan. He starts to pump and as I watch him, our eyes still connected, he raises the camera up and takes another picture. It makes me tingle to wonder just what we look like, and I feel myself getting wetter by the second.

"I'm gonna cum in your mouth, you hear me? You swallow every drop I give you, and if you're a good girl, I have a special present for you, okay baby?" I nod and he smiles. "Be a good girl, now, and take my cock all the way in."

I drop my chin so that I can take him deeper into my mouth, and he starts to push into me, harder and faster. His body starts to shake a bit and I know he's close. This isn't something we've done a lot of, at least not lately, and I've missed the taste of him, and the sensation of swallowing a part of him into me.

"Ugh, Bella, suck it, suck it hard, baby girl," he moans and just when I think I may start to gag from how deep he is, I feel him start to come, and another flash goes off. He fills my mouth and I have to swallow fast so that I don't lose even one drop of him. What a waste it would be. His dick is hitting the back of my throat, and he can feel my muscles contracting around him as I swallow. It brings on a whole new round of moans, and soon, I'm licking his shaft, cleaning him off before I let him out of my mouth and place a tender kiss on his head.

His eyes are so bright, so full of life and something else that I can't quite place, but that I like.

"My turn, baby," he says with a smile, pulling me up and into his arms. He kisses me deeply, our tongues stroking and twisting together. I know he can taste himself on me, and I wonder if it's as big a turn on for him as it is for me when I taste myself on him.

He lays me down on the bed, kissing my lips, my ears, my neck, and my shoulders on his way south. He leaves soft, wet kisses between my tits, moving from side to side as he worships each of my nipples. He kisses the underside of my breasts, letting his tongue lick at the curve there, before he moves down my stomach toward my belly button. His kisses and tastes me there, taking his time and going slow. As he moves farther down along my abdomen, it's the most wonderful kind of torture, waiting for what I know is coming. His hands move faster than his lips and tongue, and soon he has my thighs pressed apart and he's placing lazy kisses along my hip joints.

"You ready baby?" he asks, looking up at me with the wide green eyes I've come to love more than anything.

"Yes, please."

The corner of his mouth turns up a bit, and he bends his head forward, letting his nose skim along my folds. I know I'm wet, and I know he can smell my arousal, but he seems to revel in it, and he takes his time. He pushes a finger into me, twisting it in the most amazing way and making my back arch up off the bed. I see a few more flashes, and I wonder what images he's capturing. The excitement of it fills me with lust, and as my actions tilt my core closer to him, his lips are on me. He sucks my clit deep into his mouth, letting his tongue flick it as he sucks on it.

"Ahhhh!" I scream out into the otherwise quiet room. I really hope this hotel doesn't have thin walls, otherwise the people staying next door to us will have witnessed their very own private porn show every night we're here. Well, the sounds of it, anyway. My hands grab onto the bed sheets, pulling and stretching them as I continue to arch up and toward Edward. He's lying between my legs, one hand against my inner thigh, the other one pushing fingers into my pussy.

"So wet," he mumbles as he moves down a little lower and starts to push his tongue into me. His fingers move for a moment, and then I feel them sliding, exploring. They move down, down, down, until I feel them right there. And I tense, uncertain of what I want, if I want him there. He's never tried to fuck me there, but after he slides a finger into my ass, I kind of hope he will. I want him to claim me that way, for me to be his. I try to moan appreciatively so that he'll know it's okay, and he seems to get what I'm saying. Then he pushes a second finger in. Another flash goes off, and I can't see where the camera is, or what he's taking photos of, but I want to.

"Baby?" I whimper, holding my hand down toward his face. "Camera, please?" I ask, and as if he knows just what I want, he places it in my hand. I aim it toward him and press the button, forever capturing his lips on my folds. The picture shows on the screen for a few seconds, and I see it. And it sets off a whole new wave of want and lust for this man.

After several minutes of this, I can't contain what I'm feeling anymore, and I look down at him, finding him staring back up at me. He grabs the camera from me, and as his mouth is working me over at a furious rate, and our eyes connect once more, I let go. "Oh Edward, fuck!" I call out, feeling a wave of euphoria wash over me. I'm not sure if it's stars or flashes I see, but my eyelids are shut tight, and there are bursts of light all around me. I shake in his hands, and he sucks harder, making me wonder how I'll ever last four months without this. I know I will, but it won't be easy.

He leans up, smiling at me with a face covered with my cum. He lifts the camera and takes a picture of me, laying spread out before him, completely open and vulnerable to his will. The devilish look on his face worries me a bit, as he crawls up my body, placing kisses and licks all over my goose bumped skin. When our eyes are level, his smile vanishes, and he stares at me. It's like there's something he wants to say, but he can't remember what it is. I lift my hand to his face, letting my fingers trace over his cheek and jaw, feeling the stubble that was just grazing my thighs. "What?" I ask, looking at him as tenderly as I can.

He's silent for a moment, then dips his head down and kisses me so sweetly, and so innocently.

"I love you, Bella."

His words catch me off guard, and tears instantly spring to my eyes. He watches me as I'm overcome with emotion. Just as he starts to look worried, I lean up and kiss him back.

"I love you, Edward."

His smile is blinding, and he kisses me hard, and long. My arms wrap around his neck and I pull him down onto me. My legs wrap around his hips, and his cock slips into me, buried to the hilt. As he rocks back and forth, and I move with him, things get more heated, yet move at a slow and leisurely pace. I see a series of flashes, and I know he's taking pictures of us together. I wonder what all we'll be able to see in them, and I find myself hoping he'll make me a copy to keep for myself while he's gone. He continues to move in me, and I'm feeling the burn of wanting more. I carefully pull away from him, reaching down and taking his shaft into my hand. I push it lower, aim it lower, and for a moment he looks at me with a curious look. When his tip hits my other area, my other hole, he sucks in a breath.

"You're sure, baby?"

"Just go slow. Please. Own me, Edward."

He pulls up a bit and his hand meets mine on his dick, and together we place him where he needs to go. Our eyes are connected, keeping us in the same frame of mind, and I feel him push in. His breathing stutters, and I tense up a bit, but I will myself to relax and let my body take him in. We go slow, thrusting slightly, then waiting for me to acclimate to his size. It's so good, so right, and soon enough he's fully in me, and I've never felt so full or so whole.

Tears slide down my face, and I see worry on his face. "Am I hurting you? You want me to stop?" he asks, beginning to panic.

I shake my head. "No, it's just so right, this whole moment, it's so perfect. I love you so much, Edward."

And with that he pulls out, then pushes forward, fucking me in a whole new way, while making love to me at the same time. It's perfect and it's everything and I never want it to stop. A few more flashes register in my mind as I lie under him, lost to him and the things he's doing to me. I can't help but want him always, and I live in the moment as he whispers over and over in my ear that he loves me.

And I believe him. Every time he says it.

~*0*~

**A/N: So, how many of you have taken "sexy" pictures? My hubs has tried and tried, but I won't let him. No one needs to see that, trust me. :D**

**Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Your words mean more to me than you'll ever know. :)**

**See you soon...**


	17. Chapter 17 Classroom

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #6 – Classroom  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a pint of Late Night Snack ice cream by Ben & Jerry's. It has a picture of Jimmy Fallon on it. I have a crush on him... I can't help it, I love the funny guys. :) Plus, he portrays Rpattz in his "Rob is Bothered" skits, and we all know how much I love him. :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**Special thanks to _HollettLA, Mzb McCarty_, and _Fangster Ofluv_ over on Facebook for helping me out with this chapter. You girls are awesome! :)**

**Yes, this is later than normal. But, it's still on the right posting date. We'll see how my afternoon and evening goes, so no promises that Chapter 18 will be on time. :) I'll do my best. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 17**

**~*0*~ Classroom ~*0*~**

Edward and I decide to stay in Seattle an extra day, and we spend most of Thursday in our hotel room, in bed, and naked. It's amazing, and I've never felt so strongly for another person in all my life. I know I only have about two weeks left with him, but I'm excited about what the future holds for us.

Early Friday morning we pay a visit to a local electronic store, where Edward buys a satellite phone for himself, so that we can keep in contact. I know he's never done that for anyone else, and it makes my heart soar. We also stop in to see a friend of his from high school who owns a photo lab. He gets copies of our pictures made, which his friend lets him do so that no one but us will ever see them. I ask him to make two sets, and Edward smiles at me, knowing that I want them for the same reason he does.

On our way to the ferry, we stop by an assisted living home, where we drop off some things for Jared's sister. It seems that a few of the nurses know Edward, and when I question him about it, he tells me this isn't the first time he's been to the home, that he accompanies Jared on visit's quite often. It's sweet, how caring this man is, and I swoon just a bit as he introduces me to Jared's sister. I know she probably won't have any idea who I am or that I'm even here, but that doesn't stop him.

We catch the ferry to Port Angeles, and sit snuggled together for the few hours that it takes us to get across the Sound. I'm sad that our trip is over, and even more so that we both have to go back to work tomorrow. I know I'll never forget these days we've spent together, and when we get back to Clallam Bay, I drop Edward off at his apartment so that he can take care of a few things. I know that tonight I'll be back there and spending one of his last nights in town in his bed, with him.

~*0*~

Things go smoothly over the next two weeks, and before I know it, it's time for Edward to leave. This year, Alice joins Jasper at the docks, just like I'm with Edward. Our goodbyes are laced with "I Love You's" and "I'll talk to you soon's" and it's a much more upbeat and hopeful feeling than I had last year. Alice and I watch them ready the boat and pull away from the harbor, the boat getting smaller and smaller as they go. My mind begins to spin after hearing Alice make some off handed comment about Jasper being back in six months. I know we're going to visit them in about three, so it makes no sense that he would be back to Washington in six.

"What did you mean by six months? Are they coming back early or something?" I ask her as we walk over to the cafe to have breakfast.

"Oh, well Jasper's coming back a little early," she says, not meeting my gaze.

"Why is he coming back early? Are they all coming back?" I'm hoping maybe that means Edward will be back sooner, too, and that maybe he just wanted to surprise me.

"Oh, well...he wants to be here when the baby's born, and we just don't want to cut it too close."

There's silence between us, and I stare at her. After several seconds, her words register in my brain. "Baby?" I whisper.

She nods, a smile growing on her face. "I'm pregnant."

Several emotions run through me at once. Happiness, sadness, jealousy, concern, sympathy, anger, confusion... Seeing how happy she is, I can't let her know I feel anything other than that for her, so I plaster a smile onto my face and tell her I'm excited for her. She hugs me, and I wonder, just for a moment, if this is why they're engaged.

"Well, yeah, he wants to be here for the birth, and we figured it would be a good idea if we were engaged before I told Emmett about the baby. I mean, both of us want to be married when we have kids, so it's only natural now that I'm pregnant that we get married. It won't happen until after the baby's born, but that's okay."

I ask about Jasper sailing with Edward and how they'll work that out, and she tells me that he's planning to sail one more season with him, and then he'll stop and they'll decide where to go. I'm happy for her, and I tell her that, but I'm so jealous and wishing I was in her shoes. I know what Edward and I have is real and I have faith that we'll make it work, but Alice has a tangible piece of Jasper, and she always will, no matter what. I wonder what it would be like to have a child with Edward, and if it would help make things easier while he's away. It's too late to do anything about that now, but it's definitely something to discuss with him in a few months when we're in Florida together.

~*0*~

Edward and I talk on the phone two or three times a week, every week. When Thanksgiving and Christmas arrive, it's a little more often, and he surprises me a few days before Christmas by having several gifts delivered to me. I feel bad, that I wasn't able to send anything to him, but he assures me that just hearing my voice and knowing I'm happy is all the gift he needs. Plus, he'll be seeing me the first part of February, and that's all he really wants.

To say we put our pictures to good use would be an understatement. It's not always easy for him to find a quiet moment alone when he's on the boat, but when he's in his little apartment in Argentina, he has plenty of quiet time. Unfortunately, that means we run up quite a bill with all of the phone sex we're having. But it's better than the year before, and we're both much happier.

In January when Alice and I are finalizing the arrangements for our trip to Florida, I realize that I'll have to borrow a worker from the Forks bar for a few days. Seth will be around to cover most of my shifts, but he's got a few days that he can't work, and I'll need someone to fill in. The only reason I hesitate in asking Rosalie is that I know she'll ask where I'm going and what I'll be doing, and I really don't want to tell her. Especially since she'll figure out pretty quickly that my vacation dates are the same as Alice's, and she knows where Alice is going.

Emmett isn't happy about Alice being pregnant, especially knowing that Jasper is going to be away so long. He knows how happy Alice is, and she swears Jasper's coming back, so Emmett bites his tongue for the moment and supports her, despite his misgivings. Rose hasn't said much about the pregnancy, but I think it's more to do with the fact that she's trying so hard to get pregnant, and nothing's happening. I've seen her cry a few times when she sees infants or little children, and I know it's hurting her, but I can't say anything. I'm not supposed to know about her issues, and I'm afraid of how she'll react if she finds out I've been told what happened to her.

I know I can't put off asking her any longer, and I take a chance during one of my trips to Forks. After helping my dad with a few things, I make my way over to Rosalie and Emmett's house. She's not working and she's a little surprised to see me, but she seems happy, none the less.

"What's up?" she asks as she's busy washing dishes.

"Um, I need to borrow someone from the bar next month. I'm going out of town for a couple of weeks, and I need someone for the days that Seth can't cover me."

She glances up at me with a questioning look in her eyes. "Okay, that's fine. So where you going? Any place fun?"

I shift a little to the side, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Um, I'm just going to visit some friends. Nothing major."

"I hope one of them is a guy," she teases, smiling as she flicks a few suds at me.

"Well, maybe."

"Oh, is it that one on your Facebook, that Eric guy? I've seen some of the things he's tagged you in. Damn, girl, he's got it bad for you."

Oh, Eric... I really need to say something to him, and soon. "No, not him. Just some other friends from school, they're going on vacation and they invited me."

"Nice. Are you going alone, or are you maybe taking that mystery man of yours? When am I gonna get to meet this guy, anyway? He took you camping all summer long, and never once did you bring him by here to meet us."

I cringe a bit at her words, and look down at the floor. "No, not him. He's not around anymore, anyway, so you know."

It's true, he's not around, so I don't correct Rose when she assumes that we broke up.

"So what days are you going?" she asks.

I absentmindedly tell her, and she stops what she's doing. "Huh, those are the same days Alice is going. Maybe you two could carpool to Seattle for the airport. Although she's leaving pretty early in the morning, I think. Emmett's going to drive her."

If only Rose knew the truth.

"Yeah, that would probably work out, we can plan on that."

We chit chat for a few more minutes, about nothing too important, and then just as I'm ready to go, she asks, "So you didn't tell me where you're going."

I'm tired of keeping my secret from her, and I know how much she'll be hurt if she hears it from someone else, so I take a deep breath and tell her.

"Florida."

She turns to look at me, smiling. "Really? That's funny, Alice is going to Florida, too."

"Oh," I say, not knowing how to continue this conversation.

"That would be funny if you guys ran into each other there."

"Yeah, it would."

"So what part of Florida? You going to Disneyworld or Miami or anything fun like that?"

"No, I'm going to Jacksonville, or just outside of it, anyway."

The room is silent for a moment, then Rosalie turns to face me full on. "That's where Alice is going. She's flying into Jacksonville."

"Yeah, so am I."

Her brow furrows just a bit as she stares at me in confusion. "Are you going_ with_ Alice?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"But she's going to see Jasper. Why would you want to tag along for that?"

I can tell she's confused and she hasn't put two and two together yet. If she had, she'd be yelling at me by now. But she's thinking, and I can see the wheels turning in her mind.

"Um, it sounded like fun, so I thought I'd go. Get away, you know. I haven't had a vacation for a couple years now, so..."

"But what are you going to do while she's spending time with Jasper? Bella, what's going on? I mean, you're seeing some mystery guy, who you won't let anyone meet, then you tell me you broke up, and now you say you're flying to Florida with Alice just to hang out? This isn't adding up. Are you dating one of Jasper's crew mates?"

I sigh, and brace myself for the anger I know is headed my way. "Yes."

"What?" she asks, her voice rising and getting louder. "Bella, I know you're not stupid enough to hook up with a seasonal fisherman, are you? Give me a break. Have you listened to one thing I've told you about them? They're all the same, Bella."

"Yes, I listened, but I can't help it. He's wonderful and I like him, and he treats me well, Rose. So much better than any other guy ever has."

"Well yeah, sure he does. He's only in town for four months out of the year. He should be able to handle that much, at least. Oh seriously, I don't even know what to say. I mean, I guess I should just be glad you didn't end up with Edward Cullen, but still, his crewmen aren't a whole lot better."

I don't say anything, and in the silence that surrounds us, I see the spark of realization in Rose's eyes as she figures it all out.

"Edward fucking Cullen? Are you shitting me, Bella?"

My eyelids slide closed and I let out a deep breath, then shake my head.

"What the fuck?" she screams at me. "Did you not hear me? You completely ignored everything I said and went for the king of manwhores, himself, didn't you? Oh damn...seriously, Bella, what are you thinking?"

Her face is turning a deep red color and I can tell that she's breathing a lot harder than she was a few moments ago. She'll never forgive me for this, I know it, but I love him. I can't help that.

"He's a good person, Rose. He had admirable reasons for what he did, for how he acted."

"Oh sure he did, of course he's got reasons! Everybody does! It doesn't mean you drop down and spread your legs for all of them, does it?"

She's glaring at me with such hatred and contempt, that it almost makes me burst into tears. I didn't want it to come to this—I didn't want this to happen.

"I believe him, okay? I've been with him for 2 years, and I believe what he's told me."

She stares at me, her mouth hanging open. "Two years?" she whispers.

"Yeah, two years. Last season and this past season."

"So what, you just sit there and let him fuck around behind your back? Or do you get into all that kinky shit that Alice is into? You messing around on him, too? Or you just get a big ole group of people together, save time for both of you?"

"No, Rose, it's not like that. He's only with me, he doesn't date anyone else."

She smiles. "Oh, well see honey, that's where you're wrong. Because when Eddie boy is off fishing other parts of the world? He's banging anything with tits and a nice ass, so while you're sitting home moping around, he's out having the time of his life. In fact, I'm sure he and Jasper are out with their South American whores as we speak. You know, Jasper's got a girl in each port, too. Alice thinks he'll cut Maria off now that she's knocked up and they're engaged, but men like that? They don't end things just because they make a promise to someone. They keep going. Once they get a taste for that lifestyle, they never stop."

"Well, I know Edward's stopped. I talk to him almost every other day, and he loves me. I know he does. He's not fooling around on me. I trust him."

"Then you're a fool, Bella, and not nearly the person I thought you were."

She turns around and starts to walk out of the kitchen, and I can't stop myself.

"You know Rose, not every sailor is Royce. Edward's not gonna knock me up and leave me to fend for myself. Just because it happened to you, doesn't mean it'll happen to me!"

She stops and I watch as she takes several deep breaths before turning around. Her eyes are watery and quickly filling with tears.

"How do you know about Royce?" she asks in a whisper filled with so much hatred and disdain, that it makes her voice shake.

"It doesn't matter, does it? I know, that's what's important."

"Who told you?"

"It doesn't matter. What does matter is that it should have been you! I should have heard it from you, Rosalie. Why didn't you tell me? You've always said we were closer than cousins, that we were like sisters, and then when something really bad happens, you don't tell me? I have to hear about it from someone else? What kind of sisterhood is that, huh?"

She wipes at her eyes, and I know I've upset her, but she upset me, too. Plus, I'm not going to let her condemn my relationship with Edward, especially when she knows nothing about us, or how he loves me.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to worry. There was nothing you could do, so why-"

"I could have been here for you! I could have been here to help you deal with things. I mean, it's been years, Rose. You never even mentioned it."

"I didn't want you to think badly of me, okay?" she yells. "I was weak and stupid and young, and I made a mistake. I just tried to keep you from making the same one."

"Rose, I'm not you," I softly tell her. "And Edward's not Royce. He loves me, Rose. I know he does, and I love him. You can't tell me who to love or who to be with, it doesn't work that way."

"You shouldn't get involved with him, Bella." She moves to stand in front of me, her tears slipping down her cheeks as she takes hold of my hands. "Trust me, it can't end well. Just let him go and find someone nice, who can give you a normal life, Bella. Please, don't do this."

"Rose, I already did. I love him, and I'm never gonna want anyone else the way I want him. I'm old enough to make my own choices, and to know when I'm making a mistake. And I'm not. I love him, Rose. I know you're not happy about it, but it is what it is. I'm gonna be with him, so please, just support me and my choices, okay? You don't have to love them, or him, but you do have to love me. Please?"

She hugs me tight to her as she nods against me.

"I love you, Bells, and I just want you to be happy. I want you to find someone wonderful, like I found Emmett. I want that for you."

"I did, I found someone amazing, and I am happy. Trust me, this is right, Rose. I know it."

~*0*~

Weeks drag by at a snail's pace when you're waiting for something special. My time is no different, and it seems to take years for January to be over. Once Alice and I have boarded our plane, bound for Jacksonville, I let out a sigh of relief. We have one layover in Chicago, but at least we'll be in Florida before nightfall. Edward and Jasper are expecting to be there in a few days, which means we'll get to spend some time with Edward's parents, and do a little bit of sight seeing on our own. I'm excited for it, especially the idea of laying out by a pool and getting a little sun on my pale skin. It's been so long since I've had a tan of any sort, and I'm looking forward to it.

Edward's parents are so kind to us, and I catch his mother looking at me several times. She's thinking something, though I can't tell what it is. I wonder how much he's told them about us, and if they know I'm the first serious girlfriend he's ever had. His dad jokes around with me a lot, but I can tell he likes me, so I don't worry too much. They welcome us into their home, rolling out the red carpet and even offering us one of their cars to use while we're there. It's very sweet and thoughtful, and Alice and I take full advantage of it, visiting places I never thought I'd get to see. We go to the beach almost every day, and spend one day with Carlisle at the club where he teaches sailing lessons. He introduces us as "his girls" and everyone bends over backwards to make us feel welcome. It's a pretty ritzy club on Amelia Island, and I can tell Edward's parents live a good life. For a moment it makes me wonder if he really needs to worry about money as much as he says he does, or if maybe it's just an excuse.

When Edward's boat finally comes in, we're all there to greet him, and I hear his parents laughing behind me as I run down the dock toward him. He's smiling so brightly and I jump into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist as he swings me around and kisses me hard and long.

"Hi," he whispers, his face buried in my neck.

"Hi."

"I missed you, baby," he says, pulling back and looking at me with so much love and happiness, it makes my heart flip.

"Well, we have ten days together, so you don't have to miss me anymore."

He kisses me again, then lets me down and holds my hand as we walk toward his parents. Seeing the three of them together is interesting, but I can tell that they love and respect one another, and I can see that they're proud of their son. It makes me happy, and I love being included in their little circle.

Edward's crew is staying in a couple of apartments at the club Carlisle sails in. We don't see much of them during our time together, and that's fine with me. Edward and I stay in the room he has at his parents house. It's detached from the main house, and is basically a small apartment, with it's own kitchen and bathroom. I'm happy for the privacy it affords us, since we're naked from about two minutes after walking in his first afternoon here. Neither of us gets dressed until well into the next day, but no one ever comes looking for us. I think they know we want to be alone. Jasper and Alice decide to stay a few days in Edward's parent's spare room, and then they leave for a week on their own, renting a car and traveling down the coast. I'm perfectly content being at Edward's parent's house with him. As long as he's by my side, I don't need anything else.

The time goes by too quickly, and soon enough, we're back at the marina sending them off. I cry just a little bit, but it's no where near as much as Esme. Edward laughs at her, and assures me she doesn't usually cry this much, but this time—after watching us together and realizing that I'm most likely not leaving their family any time soon—she's overly emotional. I can't say I blame her.

Knowing I won't see Edward for another four months is tough, but we both smile and promise to call, and I kiss him again before he gets on board his boat. He waves to me and winks, like he always does when he's shipping out, and then I stand there and watch him pull away, getting smaller and smaller in the distance, until finally, he's gone.

Alice and I enjoy a night out with Carlisle and Esme, and the next morning we're headed back to the airport and home. It's been the best two weeks of my life, and I call Edward from Dallas, where we have a lay over. He tells me he misses me already, but that he loves me, and he'll try to get back to Washington sooner than he'd planned. I hope he does, but I don't let my hopes get too high over it.

Things at home are normal, and even Rosalie is acting decent toward me again. My dad didn't take the news about Edward and me all that well, but he's giving me the benefit of the doubt. He knows I'm old enough to decide who I date. He does insist on meeting Edward as soon as he's back in Clallam Bay, and Edward laughs when I tell him. He promises to be on his best behavior, and says it's only fair since I met his parents. Apparently they loved me, and his mother told him to sell his boat and propose to me. The thought makes me giddy, and part of me wishes he would, but I know the deal. I have to wait a few more years, and then he'll be mine. It's not that big of a hardship. Or at least, I hope it won't be.

~*0*~

In March, Alice begins childbirth classes. She asks me to go with her a few times, and I happily agree. Since she's not certain that Jasper will be back in time for the birth, given the issues she's been having, she wants either Emmett, Rosalie, or me be with her. I know she's scared, and her doctor's warnings aren't helping her. She's supposed to be taking things easy since she's so tiny, and apparently the baby is not.

One night, as we walk into the classroom where the meeting is being held, I see a girl from the bar, who I've seen flirting with Edward in the past. She's there, and very pregnant. She's also alone. When the class begins, the teacher asks everyone to introduce themselves, as well as whoever they've brought with them. The girl says her name is Jessica, and she's going to be a single mother since the baby's father is a fisherman, and is only in Washington for four months out of the year.

When she says four months, my ears perk up. There aren't many boats that only dock for four months. Most of them are here for six, and when she looks over at me, I get a bad feeling in my gut. I breathe deeply, in and out, and tell myself over and over again that Edward wasn't with her, that he's only been with me for the past two seasons. I know it wasn't Jasper, but I wonder about the other guys in Edward's crew, if any of them have been with her.

I decide to talk to Edward about it the next time he calls, and I notice how the girl avoids me for the rest of the evening, once Alice introduces us and says who her fiance is. I know she recognizes me from Clallam Bay, and most likely knows I'm with Edward. It just worries me, for some unknown reason. Maybe it's the fact that Edward told me they dated a time or two in the past. Maybe it's my own insecurities about him being faithful to me. Maybe it's the fact that it's been over a month since I last saw him, and I won't see him again for about two and a half more months.

I miss him, and that night, after the class, when I return home, I call him and leave a message. I know he'll call me back when he gets it, and until then, I curl up in his T-shirt that's now become my nightgown, and fall asleep. I dream about our future and what it will be like someday when it's Edward and me attending childbirth classes together.

I can't wait.

~*0*~

**A/N: Ahhhhhh, so there's gonna be a baby, but not from who some of you were expecting, huh? :D I know a lot of you thought Bella would be knocked up. I guess there's still a good chunk of the story to go, though, isn't there? :) And Bella met Carlisle & Esme, and they loved her. :) Nice... :D**

**Speaking of nice, have you read _The Most Eligible Bachelor_ by Lost in Fanfiction? Oh man, I love it! I have been looking for a really good bachelor kinda story, and this one is great! Go check it out, you won't be sorry!**

** www().()fanfiction().()net/s/7970827/1/The_Most_Eligible_Bachelor**

**See you soon. :D**


	18. Chapter 18 Hospital

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #14 – Hospital  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a third place ribbon in the 6th grade science fair for the project I helped my son with Sunday night! Woo hoo! :D He came home yesterday and was SOOOO excited! :D Of course then he said, "I only won because we put everything in order like the paper said to. Most of the other kids just wrote stuff on their boards. Plus you used all those papers to make it colorful, and no one else really did that, Mom." :D I'm nothing if not crafty. :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, HollettLA, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**After last chapter, I just have to say... Oh ye, of little faith. :D But it is interesting. A lot of people have condemned Bella for always thinking the worst of Edward and jumping to conclusions, yet last chapter...what did everyone do? :D I think this Bella's pretty darn realistic, judging from your reactions to the whole Jessica thing. :D**

**Now, let's get on with the show. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 18**

**~*0*~ Hospital ~*0*~**

As the weeks go by, Alice gets bigger and bigger. I go to her childbirth classes with her a few more times, and I'm proud of myself—I have the labor breathing down pat. Edward teases me when I tell him about the classes and the movies we've watched. One, that seemed like it was older than I am, insisted the cervix would open like a flower, blossoming and bringing forth new life. Alice laughed at that part of the video, and I tell Edward that I'm pretty sure it will hurt a lot more than a flower hurts when it's blossoming.

Jessica comes every week, and she continues to avoid both Alice and me. I don't know her, other than the few times I've seen her in the bar, but I'm still curious. I hint around a little bit about her to Edward, just asking if he's seen her lately, saying that I run into her around town sometimes. He says he hasn't, and that he hasn't even spoken to her in at least three years. That makes me feel a little better, though her reaction to Alice and me is still puzzling.

In mid-April, Jasper returns to Washington. Edward still has a few more weeks left on his fishing contract in Spain, but his crew is able to make do without Jasper for a couple of trips. Edward tells me that they will be leaving Spain around the second week of May, and that since they're planning to cut through the Panama Canal, it should shave a week or so off their sailing time, putting him back in Clallam Bay much sooner than I'd expected. He usually comes in around the end of June, but this year, it will be the beginning of June at the latest. I am anxious to see him, and I know he's anxious to see me, too. Phone sex is great, and our pictures really help to keep us connected, but I need him.

I wonder to myself if I will really be able to do it, if I can wait until he's free to be with me. I hope I can. He'll be worth it. I just know he will.

Alice and Jasper are so cute together, and I spend most of my free time in Forks with them, Rose, and my dad. I like being near Jasper. He reminds me of Edward, and he tells me stories about their time in the Coast Guard, as well as some of their more embarrassing fishing stories. He makes me laugh, and my heart doesn't hurt quite as much when I'm around him. I can see the calming effect he's had on Alice, as can her doctor. Finally, after two months, he lifts her light duty restrictions, and she's able to move around and do what she wants. Not surprisingly, all she wants to do is get things ready for the baby. I help her however I can, and it's fun to see Jasper so excited over the baby. I hope Edward will be the same way, someday.

~*0*~

Edward calls one night to tell me that they're leaving Spain, and he'll be here in a few weeks. It's the middle of May, and I've been on standby with Alice. Leah promises to cover for me when Alice goes into labor, and it's not long after I get off the phone with Edward that Jasper calls.

"We're heading to the hospital. It might be a long night if you want to wait and come over first thing in the morning," he says. I can tell he's nervous by the shake in his voice, but I'm excited. I know I won't be able to sleep, so I get up, get dressed, and drive to Forks at three o'clock in the morning. I'm met by a bleary-eyed Emmett and a frantic-looking Rosalie in the lobby.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

Rose huffs in frustration. "Yeah, everything's great, except that that pansy over there passed out when the nurse went in to do Alice's IV, and they kicked us out. Now I'm stuck here, babysitting his wuss ass, instead of being in there with Alice."

"I can't help it," Emmett mumbles. "You know I don't like blood."

"Yeah, well you see it on the football field all the time and it never phases you," she says.

"That's different. It's fine when it's from big linebackers in pads, but when it's my baby sister, and she's crying in pain...well, no brother could take that."

I pat Emmett on the shoulder, assuring him that I understand. He's a good man, and he's a good brother to Alice. I only hope that when he and Rose eventually have kids, she'll be in such a foul mood that he won't notice the blood. Hopefully, she'll remind him more of the dirty-mouthed football players he's used to.

Alice and Jasper are in their room watching some news program when I knock on the door frame.

"Hey guys," I say softly. They both smile, and as I walk into the room, I see all the monitors and equipment around. The baby's heartbeat is swooshing away in the background, and it sounds strong and fast.

"The doctor says she's doing great," Jasper assures me.

"I got the epidural, Bella. It's so amazing. I can't even feel my toes anymore." Alice giggles and looks down at her feet. "See, I can't even make them move!"

I smile at her and sit down on the other side of the bed. "Do you want me to stay, or do you want me to go hang out in the waiting room with Emmett and Rosalie?" I ask, not wanting to intrude on their special moment.

"Stay, please," Alice says, reaching out and holding my hand. "I think Jasper's nervous," she whispers to me. He just nods from the other side of her, and I settle into my chair and watch television with them.

A few hours later, just as the sun is coming up, the doctor says Alice is fully dilated, and it's time for her to start pushing. She instructs Jasper and me to hold Alice's legs for her, emphasizing to me that I should keep as close to Alice's head as I can. Apparently she's worried about me seeing parts of Alice that I otherwise wouldn't. I'm trying my hardest to hold her leg and help her breathe, but she's having a hard time.

"I think you need to move down a bit, Bella. I feel like my leg's too high; I can't get a deep enough breath."

When the nurse who is assisting the doctor starts to protest, Alice lets out a groan. "Oh, for fuck's sake, it's nothing she hasn't seen up close and personal before, all right?"

Everyone else in the room freezes, and Jasper's eyes meet mine, before he quickly looks back down at Alice. She starts to laugh, realizing what she's just said.

"Damn, these drugs are awesome!"

We all laugh along with her, but I have a feeling the doctor and nurse are both under the impression that the three of us form some kind of polygamous trio. No one says anything else, we just go about our business, and a little after eight in the morning, Brandon Joseph Whitlock is born. He's beautiful and much bigger than I'd imagined he would be. Rosalie and Emmett hurry into the room as soon as Alice is all put back together and presentable. I'm not at all surprised to see both of them crying. Rose, because I know she so desperately wants a baby of her own, and Emmett because the baby's named after his and Alice's father, Joseph McCarty.

I sneak off to the waiting room to call Edward and tell him the good news. He's excited for Jasper, and we only get to talk a few minutes since he's in the middle of some bad weather, but he promises to call later, and I know he will.

I hold the baby, and it feels like he's family, though I know that technically he's not. He's sweet and quiet, and he smells so good. For just a moment, I imagine that it's Edward and me who have just had our first son. And it feels perfect.

~*0*~

Two and a half weeks go by and finally, Edward's sailing into Clallam Bay. I'm excited, and I watch out my window all day until finally I see his boat. Throwing on my shoes, I run for the harbor. It's only a couple of blocks, but I'm out of breath by the time I get there. I hurry to his regular spot and arrive just as he's tying off the boat and shutting down the engine.

"There she is!" Paul yells when he sees me. He's smiling and laughing, and soon I see Edward peeking out of the main cabin.

"Hey!" he yells, walking toward me. He's not fast enough, and I run to the boat, pausing only long enough for Jared to put the walkway down, then I'm over it and onto the deck of the boat. My arms wrap around Edward's neck and I'm kissing him for all he's worth. The other guys start to whistle and cat call, but I don't care. He's here, and he's in my arms, and I'm not letting him out of my sight.

Once things are situated for the night, the crew all leaves, and it's just me and Edward.

"You wanna get something to eat? I'm starving," he says.

"I could cook," I offer, but he just smiles and rubs his fingers over my cheekbone.

"I don't want you using up any unnecessary energy on cooking. I have other plans for your energy tonight. Let's just go to the cafe and eat, okay?"

I nod, anxious for the other plans he has for me. I almost wish we could do that first, and then eat, but I know he probably hasn't had a real meal in a few days or so, and I can't deny him some decent food.

We're sitting together in a booth, holding hands and eating our dinner, when in walks none other than Jessica Stanley. I spot her and wait for Edward to do the same. When he does, I feel his whole body tense.

"Holy shit..." he mumbles.

"What?" I ask, hoping and praying he won't say what I'm afraid he'll say.

"Jessica just walked in. She's pregnant. Like, huge pregnant. Did you know that?" he asks, turning to look at me.

I let out a deep breath. "Yeah, I did. Alice and I saw her at Alice's childbirth classes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Should I have?" My voice is low and uncertain, and I'm starting to feel the pain of losing Edward to someone else. I was so sure, so certain we'd last. Now, I just don't know.

"Well, yeah, you should have told me. I mean, wow...she's pregnant."

"Just get it over with quickly, okay?" I tell him my voice shaking with emotion.

"Get what over with? Bella, what are you talking about?"

My eyes start to gloss over with tears, and I look up at him. "Did you sleep with her?"

In about five seconds time, his face shows several different emotions, finally landing on shock. "Did I sleep with her? Bella, I told you we dated a few times, years ago, but I haven't been with her since then. What, you think that's my baby? You think I'd cheat on you?"

"I don't know what to think. I don't want to think that, but after she mentioned in class that the baby's father was a fisherman, and that he's only in town for four months out of the year, I started to worry. And then she wouldn't even look at me or Alice, and it freaked me out. I know she wants you, the way she was always flirting in the bar and stuff, so I just thought that..."

"You thought what? Because she flirted with me, I'd have sex with her? That I'd break my promise to you? Is that what you thought?" He looks like he's angry, and I don't blame him, but I'm hurt and still confused, and I have to know the truth.

"I don't know," I whisper, pushing my food away. Suddenly, I'm not very hungry.

He lets out a sigh. "Bella, when are you going to get this through your head? I don't want anyone but you, okay? I love you, I want you, I want to be with you. When the time comes that I have kids, I fully intend for you to be their mother, alright?" He waits until my eyes meet his. I can see that he's not lying, but I'm still confused.

"But, I just thought, that..."

"Bella, she was dating Embry last year. That's why I would want to know. He's got enough shit going on in his life; this is the last thing he needs. That's it, baby, I swear."

"Embry?" I ask. Well, that would explain her saying the dad was only here four months a year. It would also explain her avoiding Alice and me, since she was probably thinking we'd tell Edward or Jasper, who would then tell Embry.

"Yeah, Embry. Seriously, babe, you gotta trust me, okay? I'm not gonna lie to you. Not now, not ever. I love you."

I sit still for a few moments, waiting for my heart to stop pounding, and then I squeeze his hand.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to think. I let my insecurities get the best of me, and I'm sorry. I'm really trying, Edward. I swear I am."

"I know, silly girl." He leans forward and kisses me. "Just have a little faith in me, okay? And don't forget that I love you—and no one else. I've never loved anyone else, baby."

I smile just a bit and pull him back to me so that I can kiss him over and over again. I know I need to try harder, and I vow to do just that.

When I pull my plate back to me, I glance up and see Jessica watching Edward and me. I smile a little smile at her, and she smiles back, before turning in her seat and finishing her meal. She's alone, and I wonder what the chances are of Embry wanting to be with her and their baby. I feel kind of sorry for her and her situation, but I know that if I were to get pregnant, Edward would be there for me.

I just know it.

~*0*~

We make our way back to Edward's apartment, and I sit on his bed watching him as he moves about the apartment putting things away. I know we're both anxious and horny, but once we're naked I'm not letting him out of my grasp for a few days. He may as well put away as many things as he can now. The way he moves is impressive. I love to just sit back and watch him. He laughs a little when he catches me eyeing him, smiling and mumbling about what a funny woman I am. I don't care—I want him.

He's gone through most of his bag and is sorting through a stack of junk mail that Mrs. Cope left for him when there's a knock on the door. As far as I know he's not expecting anyone, but I stay quiet in the bedroom while he goes to answer it. I can hear quiet mumblings and I know he's talking to another man. Being curious, I hop off the bed and walk into the living room. It's Embry standing at the door, his hands running through his hair.

"Oh, hey, Bella. Sorry to disturb you guys, this'll only take a minute."

"No problem," I tell him with a smile, then move into the kitchen to get a drink of water.

After another minute or two, I hear the door close and Edward walks into the kitchen.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. He ran into someone who told him about Jessica. He was asking what I thought he should do. I told him she was just at the cafe, so I think he's gonna head over there, see if he can catch her."

"Is he okay with the baby and everything?"

Edward lets out a sigh. "Not really. They were just kinda hookin' up, more or less. Neither of them was in this for the long haul, you know? I mean, when it's a couple like Jasper and Alice, that's one thing, but when it's just a random way to pass the time, that's something totally different."

"Yeah, I know. There are a lot of kids around these parts that are products of that random way to pass the time."

He smiles a sad smile. "True."

I cross the small room and wrap my arms around his waist. "That won't happen to us, don't worry."

He leans down to kiss me before asking me to come to bed with him.

Lying on his bed, I watch him as he undresses. "Do you have any idea how much I've missed having you in my bed?" he asks me. His eyes are burning into mine and it makes my heart stutter just a bit. "Those pictures of you were the best idea I've had in a long time, but they weren't you. I could see you, but I couldn't taste you, or smell you, or feel you."

He grabs at the button of my jeans, undoing it before he slides my zipper down.

"You're so beautiful like this, you know? The way your hair fans out around you. It's like a halo or something. It makes you seem otherworldly, and I can't get enough of it."

He tugs my jeans off of me, leaving me in just a tiny pair of panties and my T-shirt and bra. I sit up, pulling my shirt over my head, and his eyes instantly fall to my chest.

"I've missed these tits, baby," he says, bending down and reaching around me to unhook my bra. Once it's off, his mouth is on me, sucking my nipples deep into him as his tongue swirls around them. He takes turns, making sure not to dote on one more than the other. He pushes me to lie back down, and I do, watching as his fingers trail down my body and slip into the waistband of my thong. With one swift jerk, he pulls them over my legs and they're on the floor.

His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and then he's kneeling in front of me, his hands pushing my thighs apart. He stares at my pussy, most likely seeing how wet he's making me, and lets out a moan that almost sounds more like a growl. When he looks back up to my eyes, I see a spark in them that I haven't seen too often.

"I love you, Bella. Always, there'll never be anyone else for me. I hope you know that."

I nod, trying my best to believe him, and seeing the truth in his eyes.

With that, he bends down, covering my wet folds with his mouth, and circling his tongue around my clit as his fingers push into me. I feel like I'm on fire, every nerve in my body pulsing with the electricity his touch is causing. I whimper and mew, arching up and thrashing around under his hand as he continues to work me over. He's never seemed this eager, this relentless and determined to please me. I start to think to myself, if this is how it will always be when he comes back, I'll gladly endure eight months away from him every year.

Soon enough, he's hovering over me, kissing me with his mouth that's still covered in my juices. I hear him rip open the condom wrapper, and a few seconds later he's pushing into me. I feel so complete when we're like this. It's as if he was made specifically for me. Like, his body was molded and created to fit together perfectly with mine. The way he holds me, bends me, loves me is amazing and perfect, and I never want him to stop.

We move together, pushing and thrusting and pounding and throbbing, until finally I begin to see stars. My body is quivering at his touch, and he rocks into me a few more times before letting out a stream of curse words and stilling over me. The sweat from his brow drips down onto my chest, and it makes me giggle just a bit. He jerks inside of me as I laugh, making him push into me a few more times.

He kisses me over and over again, keeping himself buried inside of me. I love the feel of his hands on my breasts and my hips while he's kissing me. He lightly trails a finger along my face and neck, following it with his lips as he seems to try and re-memorize me, as if he's forgotten. I know it's not that, it's just that we've been apart so long that sometimes it's nice to remember and familiarize yourself again. I do the same with him, letting my fingers tangle in his hair, scratching my fingernails up and down his back, letting my arms wrap around his strong waist.

I love him, and I tell him over and over again as we kiss and touch and love each other through the rest of the night.

~*0*~

At some point I must fall asleep because the next thing I know, I open my eyes and find light streaming through the windows. Edward is sound asleep next to me, his head resting on top of my chest with his hand securely covering my breast. It makes me smile, and I lay with him for several minutes, until I can't hold it any longer. After cleaning up a little in the bathroom, I pull my underwear back on and put on one of Edward's shirts. It looks more like a dress on me, hitting me at mid thigh, but I don't care. It makes me feel closer to him, which I want, even though he's in the same room as I am.

I don't have to work today, so I fully intend to stay in Edward's apartment all day. There's not much food here, so I know at some point we'll have to take care of that, but for the moment, I'm content with a granola bar and a bottle of water.

I look around, realizing that Edward must have put a few more things away after I fell asleep last night. Sitting down on the couch, I grab his camera that's laying on the coffee table. I spend a few minutes flipping through pictures from his time in Argentina and Spain. He looks like he was having fun in most of them, which makes me happy. I wonder if the same could be said about pictures of me while I was here alone. This makes me decide that I need to make more of an effort to be happy when he's gone. I don't want to be a burden to him while he's away. I don't want him worrying about me all the time. I only want to be a positive influence in his life. It's something I know I need to work on, and I hope I can do better during our next separation.

The little end table next to the sofa has a drawer in it that's open just a bit. Once I'm done looking through the pictures on the camera, I look in the drawer and find an envelope. Inside of it are the pictures of Edward and I together, and I can see how worn they are. It makes me smile to imagine him spending hours and hours looking at us. A few of the more intimate shots have edges that are well worn, and I laugh, noticing that some of his more viewed pictures are the same as some of mine. I look through them all, wondering if we'll take a new set before the end of this season, and getting a little excited about the prospect of that. I'm mentally planning out lingerie outfits and poses when I pull the drawer open to put the pictures back.

Something catches my eye, and I pull the drawer open wider. In the back of it, there's another envelope and another digital camera. I haven't ever seen either of them, and I pull them out, wondering what they are. The envelope is the same as the one our pictures are in, so I know these were developed at Edward's friend's business, too. I pull the photos out and my heart drops. The first photo is of a very large chested blonde woman, and I can see Edward's hand grasping her breast. I would know his hands anywhere, and the way she's looking back at the camera makes me sick. I flip to the next picture, and it's of a redhead, on her hands and knees, with Edward's cock buried inside her as he's fucking her from behind.

I start to shake. I don't want to see anymore, but I can't help it.

Image after image assaults me. Edward with different women, in every picture, and there are at least twenty pictures in my hand. Several are of him receiving blow jobs, and a few more are of his lips on the pussies of different women. I can't help the tears that are forming in my eyes, and I drop the pictures on the coffee table. I take several deep breaths, telling myself that these were obviously from before he met me. I know what his life was like, and I've agreed to not hold it against him. I know that my life before him would look pretty similar to a lot of these pictures, and I make myself calm down and let out a long, slow breath.

He wouldn't cheat on me. I know he wouldn't.

Something in me makes me pick up the other camera and turn it on. It says the batteries are low, but there's enough juice that I can see the screen. There seems to only be one thing on the camera, and it's a video. Against my better judgment, I turn it on and let it play in my hands.

It's Edward, sitting in between two women. One is blonde, and I hear the other girl call her Chelsea. It makes me want to vomit, knowing this must be the girl Edward fucked last year when he was trying to forget me. I can tell from the video that he's drunk, and that these girls are taking advantage of that fact, but it doesn't hurt any less. I watch as he smiles and laughs while they undo his jeans and take turns sucking his cock. His hands are buried in their hair as he sets a pace for them, the same way he does for me.

The second girl, who seems to remain nameless, is kissing him, shoving her tits in his face, and he grabs them and sucks them greedily while Chelsea works over his cock. It isn't long before the no-name girl is naked and riding him as Chelsea strips and stands on the couch, positioning herself over his face. I watch as he licks her and touches her and reaches up to rub her tits. They're all moaning and panting like they're porn stars, and it isn't until no-name is shaking violently above him, and Edward is pounding into her that I hear him call out something as he comes.

"Bella..."

I gasp. He did this after me—after he'd already been with me. While I sat home waiting for him, he was doing this on the other side of the country.

The video ends with him touching Chelsea until she's coming all over his fingers, and then they're all laughing and kissing and groping one another. I can't watch anymore, and I drop the camera on the couch. I get up and walk to the bedroom door, seeing him asleep in the bed. So many conflicting emotions are running through me, and I just don't know what to do. Every time I think I'm past something, it comes back to haunt me and bite me in the ass. I want Edward so much, but there are so many things about him that could destroy me. I just don't know if it's worth it.

I slowly pull on my pants, trying not to make too much noise. I need to get out of here—to get away somewhere on my own and work through this. It's not so much that he's done these things. I knew he had, and I was okay with it. But the fact that he still has the pictures, and he still has the video...that's what gets me. Why would he keep them, unless they mean something to him? I don't understand, and once I'm dressed, I pause in the doorway to look at him one more time.

I loved him so much just twenty minutes ago, and now I don't know what to think. I know it's not fair, and that's why I need to get away.

"Baby?" he whispers, reaching across the bed to feel for me. It breaks my heart to see his hands comb through the sheets in search of my body. "Bella, what are you doing?" he asks, and my eyes meet his.

"I have to go," I whisper, finally letting the tears fall from my eyes.

"Bella, what's wrong? Come here, tell me."

I shake my head. I can't fall apart in front of him, it's not fair. "I have to leave."

I turn and hurry to the front door, hearing Edward get out of bed, all the while yelling for me to stop. I'm just walking through the doorway when he catches up to me. "Would you wait? What's going on?"

I can't say anything. Instead I just look at the coffee table, and he turns his head. His hand tenses up around my arm and I hear him breathe in quickly. "Shit."

"I can't do this right now," I say, pulling away from him and running to the stairs and away from him.

He continues to call after me, but I can't stop. I need to get away.

~*0*~

**A/N: I do love the angst... :D I know it may seem like things are going round and round, like these two are never moving forward, or like it's one step forward, two steps back. There's a reason to my madness. Trust. :)**

**Did you see Cannes Rob-2012? I love it when that man wears a suit. :) And the hair is growing in rather nicely, if I do say so myself. :D**

**See you soon...**


	19. Chapter 19 Parking Lot

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #20 – Parking Lot  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is four children who have their last day of school today. Summer starts tomorrow. And I should be ready to shoot myself by about next Thursday. :)**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, HollettLA, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**Yeah, Edward screwed up. Yet again. Man, it's like he's never been in a relationship before. Oh wait...he hasn't. :D He's figuring it out, give him a little breathing room. Poor guy. :D**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 19**

**~*0*~ Parking Lot ~*0*~**

I'm running as fast as I can to get away from Edward's apartment. I'm sure if anyone sees me, they'll think I've completely lost my marbles, but I'm hoping it's early enough in the morning that no one will. I stumble over some rocks and manage to catch myself before I fall. I'm crying so much that I can't see straight, and I know I have to slow down if I want any chance of getting home in one piece, and without any major injuries.

It's a few blocks between Edward's apartment and the bar, so after about five minutes, I know I'm halfway there. I'm sobbing so much that I don't hear Edward running behind me until he's right next to me.

"Would you stop, please?" he says in a strong, loud voice, getting right in front of me and not letting me past him.

"Just leave me alone, okay?"

"No, I won't. You have to let me explain. Please. Baby, come on."

I shake my head, refusing to look up at him. We slow to a snail's pace, and his hands are holding onto my arms. He bends down until his eyes catch mine, and then he stops us.

"Bella, please. Don't do this. Don't run away from me again. You have no idea how much it's hurting me to see you like this right now. Let's just talk, okay?"

He's hurting? What about me? I'm the one who had to watch him fuck two other women in some video he was obviously saving for sentimental purposes. Not to mention the stack of pictures that featured him in an array of sexual activities.

"You're hurting? What about me, huh? How do you think I feel?"

"I know how you must feel, because I would feel the same way if it were me seeing pictures of you with other men. I would feel like killing someone, baby, I swear I would. But Bella, those were all from before you. All those pictures were from before I met you. I forgot they were even in there, I swear to you. I haven't taken them out in over three years, Bella. Not since the year before I met you."

"Oh yeah? That's a lie! That video is from that spring you spent fucking Chelsea! I heard you say my name on it! You're a liar!"

I twist and turn, trying to break free of his hold, but he just clamps down harder on me.

"What video are you talking about?" he asks.

"Oh sure, now you play all sweet and innocent. That video with you and Chelsea and her Miss No-Name friend. I'm sure you just love getting off to the memory of your threesome, huh? Maybe that's what your pictures should be of next year when you leave. Maybe I'll go find two other fishermen and make a video for you to watch! How would you like that, huh?"

I'm angry and screaming at him. I know there are people around, and if we don't quiet things down, someone's going to call the police. That's not how I wanted Edward and Jake to meet, but if that's what it takes to get him away from me, then that's what I'll do.

Edward's eyes burn with a fire I've never seen before. His voice is seething in anger, and he grits his teeth before speaking to me. "Don't you even think about fucking any other men, you understand me? That's not the answer to this problem, Bella. All that would end up doing is getting me thrown in prison for the rest of my life after I hunt them both down."

It's scary to realize that he's serious about what he's telling me, although I'm a little turned on by it, too.

"I don't know what you're talking about, what threesome video? I never took a threesome video, and certainly not with Chelsea. She was such a prude, there's no way that would happen."

I laugh in his face. "Liar."

He takes a deep breath and lets go of my arms. "Bella, I've never lied to you. Not once. I might have said some things that you read more into, and I may have said some things that you misunderstood, but I've never lied to you. I'm not about to start now."

His eyes are full of honesty and hurt, and I'm really struggling with being angry with him, and wondering if there is any way he could be telling the truth.

"That camera has a video on it, Edward. You and Chelsea and some whore friend of hers. You're obviously drunk in it, so who knows, maybe you just can't remember the whole thing clearly, so you keep the video around as a reminder." I smirk at him and fold my arms across my chest, daring him to tell me I'm wrong.

"Bella, I never used that camera. I bought it and I could never get it to take pictures. I couldn't even figure how to operate the damn thing, so when I got back here last year, I bought another one to replace it." He lets out a sigh and runs his hand through his hair. "I took that camera with me when I left you here the first time. I wanted to take pictures and send them to you, but I couldn't get the thing to work. It's completely blank, Bella. I threw it into that drawer last year after I got back here, and I haven't thought about it since."

I laugh at his ridiculous excuse. "Well, maybe you oughta go back and check it out, because it's not blank. It's got a very interesting sex video on it. Maybe you didn't know how to work it, but someone did, and they left you nice little gift. You really should watch it. It looks and sounds like you had a great time."

I step around him and start walking.

"So that's it? You're not even gonna try to figure this out with me?" he says.

I pause for a moment, then turn around to face him. "What is there to figure out, Edward? Every time I try and get around your past, it comes back to run me over in some way. I keep trying and trying, and I just can't make it stop. What am I supposed to do? This is killing me."

My breath catches and I let out a sob again. I can see his face fall just a bit at my breakdown, and I know he wants to comfort me, but that's just not possible right now.

"Trust me, Bella. Just trust me. I've been here less than twenty-four hours and you've already accused me of fathering some other woman's baby, of hoarding old sex pictures, and of keeping threesome videos around so I can enjoy them. Really? Do you really distrust me that much? What have I done, Bella? What have I done to you that would make you think I would treat you like that?"

I can hear the emotion in his voice, and it makes me stop and think. What has he done? What has he done to me, specifically, that would give me a reason not to trust him?

"Bella, I love you, and I'm sorry I have a past. Believe me, if I could go back and change it, I would. I would do that for you. But I can't, and as much as this hurts me, we have to deal with this and get it behind us, or we don't stand a chance at making it. I know you have a past, too, and I try not to dwell on it. Even when that Eric prick posts shit on your Facebook for everyone to see. I don't say anything because I trust you, and I'm hoping that you'll give me the same courtesy."

"Yeah, well it's easy for you to ignore my past. You're not confronted with it every time you turn around, like I am with yours."

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. If I'd known that there was someone as amazing and perfect as you out there for me, I never would have done the things I did. Never. I would have waited for you. I would have waited forever," he says with a sad laugh. "But I didn't know. I never thought I'd find someone who would want me like you do and who would make me feel like you do. Baby, if I could go back and change it, I would. But Bella, I'm just human. I make mistakes. I don't know what I'm doing here, with us. I don't know how this goes. I'm trying really hard to get this right, but I have no idea what I'm doing, baby. Help me figure this out, please."

We're standing in a parking lot at eight o'clock in the morning, getting nowhere. I don't see how I'll get over this today, and I don't see how Edward can forgive me for blowing up over something that he claims to know nothing about—something that was apparently an innocent oversight.

"I just need some time. I need to deal with this in my own way, and come to terms with it all. I need to figure out if I'm gonna be okay living like this," I say, watching as he takes a step backward, and away from me.

He nods. "Okay, you do what you need to do. I get it."

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"No, no, I get it. I'm never gonna be what you want, am I? I'll never be enough, or good enough. I think it's good that you take some time to figure things out for yourself. See if you can settle for someone like me, who's obviously been around too much to satisfy you."

"Edward, I didn't mean it like that. Please, don't think tha-"

"Just go, Bella. I'll see you around."

With that he turns and walks away from me. His shoulders are drooping and his hands are in his pockets. I let out a choking sob as I watch him, realizing just how much I hurt him with my accusations. I want, more than anything, to run after him and tell him it was all a big mistake, that I didn't mean it, but I know that's not true. It's not fair to either of us to keep going this way. I need to get myself in order before I can ask him to take me back. He needs a partner who loves and trusts him unconditionally, and right now—as much as I wish it was—that's just not me.

Once he rounds the corner and I can't see him anymore, I continue on to the bar and my apartment. I'm not scheduled to work for the next few days, so no one will miss me for a while. I climb up the stairs and shut the door behind me. Looking around my living room, I'm met with sadness. The last time I was here, I was so happy and joyful. And now, less than a day later, I've ruined it all with my insecurities. I fall onto my bed, not even managing to change my clothes. It's only then that I realize I'm still wearing Edward's t-shirt, and a whole new round of tears begin. I cry until I can't cry anymore, and then I fall asleep.

~*0*~

Two days pass by in the blink of an eye. I sleep, I cry, I think, I even manage to eat once a day. I don't leave my apartment. I don't answer my phone. No one comes to look for me. I'm sure they all think I'm off with Edward, and I wish it was that easy. Alice sends me an email, asking if I'm still interested in meeting her for lunch in a few days after Edward and Jasper leave for the week. I don't have the energy to write her back, and I really don't want to act like everything is okay. My world is crumbling around me, and I don't know how to fix it.

I accidentally drop something on the floor, and I know Leah hears it. She's at my door knocking only a few minutes later. For some reason I have a feeling she knows I've been here a while, and when I answer the door in just Edward's t-shirt, she asks if things are okay. I just shake my head and tell her to go away, please. She does as I ask, but not without giving me a concerned look. I don't care; I have other things to worry about.

It's the next morning, and three days since my blow-up with Edward. I know he's leaving soon for his first fishing trip, and as much I want to see him, I don't. I don't know what I'll say or do, and I'm just not ready. There's a knock at my door, and assuming it's Leah again, since she's the only one who knows I'm here, I answer it.

It's Rosalie.

"Ah, damn it, Bella. Leah told me you were needing some help, but wow, this is bad." She pushes past me and into the room, followed closely by Alice, who's toting a car seat with baby Brandon in it and a bottle of Febreeze.

"Whew, I'm glad I brought this," she says as she sprays half the bottle at me.

"What do you want?" I ask, closing the door. I move toward the window and open it, hoping to air the place out a little bit. Apparently three days without a shower isn't a good thing.

"What going on with you? Your guy is back after eight months, and you're locked away in your apartment, all alone? While he's over there tearing his apart? What gives?" Rose asks, making herself at home on my sofa.

"I guess I just have some issues to work out before we can be together," I say, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

"Bells, legs together, hun. We didn't come here for a show," Alice laughs. I'm still wearing just Edward's shirt and my panties from the other night. I catch the blanket that Rose tosses to me and spread it across my lap.

"Sorry. If you don't like it, you can leave."

Rose smiles. "Not until we get to the bottom of things. Now, what's going on with loverboy?"

I let out a deep breath, knowing that until I talk to them, these women won't leave me alone. I know them too well.

"So, everything was great. He was back and he explained the whole Jessica thing, and then we went to his place and spent the night. It was good, you know? Then I woke up in the morning and I found his camera, and I was looking at all of his pictures from this past year. Then I saw an envelope in the end table drawer that had some pictures of us in it, so I was looking at them."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the good stuff," Alice says impatiently, lifting Brandon out of his seat and lifting her shirt to breastfeed him.

"Alice, just because you have nice tits doesn't mean we all wanna see them," Rose groans, reaching for Brandon's blanket from his seat. Alice laughs at her and covers up, then looks pointedly at me.

"Keep going."

"Uh, well so when I put the pictures back, I noticed another photo envelope in the back of the drawer, along with a camera. I pulled them out and the envelope was full of pictures of Edward with other women."

"Oh, old girlfriend kinda things?" Rose asks.

"No, like old hook-up kinda things. Like...mid-hook-up kinda things. You know?" I say, raising my eyebrows.

"Naked pictures?" Rose asks, seeming surprised, but not completely caught off guard.

"Yeah, of him and other women."

Alice flicks her hand at us both. "Oh please, I probably took half those pictures. Well, maybe not. I don't know, I'd have to see them to tell for sure."

Rosalie and I both stare at Alice.

"What? Oh come on, like you've never taken sex pictures before. Please. And you, Rose...I know. Trust me, Emmett's my brother and I know about what a freak you are in the sack."

Rose just smiles and looks a little embarrassed.

"And don't even get me started on you, missy," Alice says as she looks at me.

"Yeah, well I don't care so much that he took them. What I care about is why he still has them. I mean, he's been with me the past three years, so why does he still have an envelope of sex pictures in the drawer of his table?"

"Did you ask him?" Rosalie says. She's being very diplomatic about all of this, which surprises me.

"Yes."

"And, what did he say?" she asks.

"He says he put them in there the summer before he met me, and he hasn't looked at them since. He said he forgot they were even there." Hearing myself say it makes me feel like the biggest schmuck on the planet.

"Well, that's something, isn't it?" Rose says, more as an observation than an actual question.

"But that's not the worst part. There was also a camera in there, and it had a video on it. It was a threesome between Edward and these two other girls, and it was the spring after we'd met. It was from when he and Jasper were working in Maine."

"Oh, that horrid bitch, Chelsea? Ugh, Jasper mentioned her once. He couldn't stand her. He said she was horrible to all of them. She only ever wanted Edward when her friends were around, and that was just so that she could flaunt her love of the working class to them. It was like a game, to see who could hook-up with the hottest blue collar guy, or something," Alice says. "I wouldn't worry about that."

"But he still has it! Why would he keep that?" I yell.

"Bella, shh! Baby trying to eat and sleep here," Alice whisper yells to me.

"Trust me, you don't want that thing angry," Rose says, pointing toward Brandon. "Now, did you ask him about that, too?"

"Yeah, and he said he didn't even know it was on there. He said the camera never worked right, so when he got back last year he just threw it in the drawer and forgot about it. He bought a new one, and that's the one he's been using ever since."

"So he never even saw the video? Does he remember it being taken?" Rose asks.

"No, he says he never saw it and doesn't remember it. I watched it, and he's really drunk in it, so I understand how he might not remember it. Especially if Chelsea set it up without him knowing," I tell them.

Alice sighs. "Bella, don't you think you're being a little hard on the guy? I mean, you say they were in the back of his drawer. The back of a drawer he rarely uses. Honestly, how many nights did he even spend in his apartment last year when he was here?"

I think about her question, and realize that most nights were spent in my apartment, not his. Is it likely he was telling me the truth? He didn't look like he was lying, but I'm not sure what to think.

"Bella, look. I know I haven't been a supporter of Edward's in the past, but I really think you're making a mistake here. You need to get over your issues. It sounds like you're jealous, and I completely understand that, but he can't help what he did before you got here."

I know Rose is right, but it's hard to just overlook so many things. I don't know if I'm strong enough.

"Honey, I think you need to decide something, and you need to decide it soon. What's going to be harder for you: living with Edward's past, or living without Edward? That's basically what it boils down to," Rosalie says. She's not usually one to sugarcoat things, and I'm glad she's not doing it now. I need to hear the truth.

"Bells, I knew Edward before he met you, and he's always been a good guy, but since you came along, there's something different about him. I can see how much he loves you when he looks at you. I saw him today, and he doesn't look good, Bella. He's broken over this, just like you are, and he's probably beating himself up a lot more than you could ever do to him. He's the cause of all of your pain, and there's nothing he can do to fix it. Just try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Go talk to him; see what you guys can figure out. You owe it to yourself, and to him, Bella."

I know Alice is right, and I sniffle a bit at her words. If I know Edward, and I think I do, she's right about him beating himself up over this. Yeah, he made some stupid choices, but he didn't do it intending to hurt me.

"Fine, I'll go talk to him."

"Oh good," Rose says, jumping up from the sofa. "Now let's get you in the shower so we can wash that stink off you, because dayum girl...wallowing is not your friend."

She pulls me up from the floor and hugs me, even though I clearly don't smell good, then pushes me into the bathroom.

"I'll find you some clothes, don't worry," she says as I start the water and step into the bathtub. The water feels good, and once I'm clean and ready to face Edward, I step out to find her standing in the doorway with jeans and a button-down shirt for me. "These will look nice, and they won't look like you're desperate to get him back or anything. They'll work."

Once I'm dressed and my hair is combed, Alice puts a little bit of makeup on me, and then I'm ready to go.

"Thanks, I really appreciate this," I tell them both.

"We know. Now, go talk to him," Alice says with a smile.

"Yeah, go fix this. Emmett's planning a barbeque tomorrow night, and we're figuring on you bringing Edward so we can meet him officially. I already bought all the steaks, Bella. Don't make me waste good beef." Rose smiles at me, then heads out the door. Alice and I are right behind her, and I hug them both again as they get into Alice's car.

I love that they love me enough to want me happy, even if they might not totally agree with my choice of men. It means a lot, and I start the short walk to Edward's apartment, nervous about what I'll find when I get there.

~*0*~

My mind is running rampant with what to say and what to do when I get to Edward's. I'm still not totally sure, but soon enough it's too late, and I'm walking up the stairs that lead me to him. His door is closed, and it looks the same as it always does. It's like nothing different is even going on, and I hate that. Doesn't the world know that I'm hurting? Doesn't it care? I don't let myself dwell on those thoughts, and instead I knock on the door quickly so that I don't lose my bravery.

After a few moments the door swings open, revealing a tired, but surprised-looking Edward.

"Hi," he says. I can hear in his voice that he's not too sure what to think of this visit, and he looks me up and down. Hopefully Rosalie's idea about the clothes was a good one.

"Hi." We stand there, staring at each other for several seconds before I clear my throat. "Um, can I come in?" I ask, not entirely sure if he even wants to see me after some of the things I said.

"Yes, of course," he says, opening the door to me. Once I set foot in his apartment, I'm shocked by what I find. There are boxes everywhere. Papers line the table, with several more scattered around on the floor. Drawers are turned over and empty, their contents strung out all over the room. Edward stands beside me with one hand on the back of his neck and the other on his hip. "Sorry, it's kind of a mess."

He rushes over to the chair and moves a stack of clothes from it, throwing it onto the ground by the sofa. I cautiously move to sit down, looking up at him as I do.

"What happened in here?" I ask, noticing that the kitchen and bedroom are in the same condition as the living room. I don't know what's gone on over the past few days, but it's worrying me.

Edward shifts from foot to foot, like he's nervous, and he continues to rub his neck as he looks down at me. "You said a lot the other day, and I realized some things." His gaze moves to the bedroom door, and he hurries toward it. "Hang on," he calls back to me.

I know I'm not much of a neat freak, but this room is stressing me out, and I really want to start stuffing things into boxes or drawers. He rushes back in to where I am with a medium sized box under his arm, and a metal trash can in his other hand.

"I know you said you didn't know why I kept those pictures. I thought long and hard about it, and I don't know, either. I honestly forgot about them, and I think that's because I was so preoccupied with you. I had you, so I didn't need them anymore, you know? I promise you, I hadn't looked at them in almost four years, not since the fall before I met you. I don't even know why I took them, and I know you probably think my having them cheapens the ones that we took together, but they don't. I never loved any of those girls. I only saw their bodies when I looked at the pictures. But with ours, I see so much more. Your eyes, and your mouth, and your heart, and your trust. And I see your love, Bella. I see _our_ love, and it means so much to me."

He lowers down to his knees in front of me, keeping his eyes locked on mine.

"I realized that for some reason, I held on to a lot of things that I should have gotten rid of when I promised myself to you. I know I can't change what I've been in the past, but I can get rid of all the things that remind me of it."

He opens the box in front of me, placing it in my lap. "This is everything I can find that I have from before I met you. Well, anything that was given to me by another woman, for whatever reason. There are pictures, phone numbers, little stupid things, keychains, underwear...everything that was in this apartment, for whatever reason. None of it means anything to me, and I put it all in here, and I'm giving it to you."

My brow furrows and I wonder why he's doing this. "I don't want this, Edward. Why would you give me things from other women?"

"Because, I want you to take them and burn them, and then I want you to bury them. I don't ever want to see them again. I gave up that life when I met you—when I promised myself to you—and I don't ever want to go back to that. I want you, and only you, from now on."

I look at all the things in the box. Sure enough, the envelope of pictures is in it, as well as the memory card from his camera, plus all the other things he mentioned. There are so many matchbooks with names and numbers written on them, I can hardly believe it, but they're all here.

"There's also a list in there. It has the name of every woman I can remember ever being with in any way. I know I can't go back and undo what I did, but I want to get rid of it. I don't ever want to remember any of them. This is it; I'm giving it all up for you."

He sits back on his heels, looking up at me like he's waiting for me to say something. The only problem is, I have no idea what to say.

"Is this why your apartment looks like a tornado came through?" I ask.

He smiles just a bit. "Yeah. I looked everywhere, found everything. There is nothing left here. Nothing else that you'll ever find. I swear to you, Bella, no part of my past is here anymore. Once you get rid of these, it will all be gone."

I look down into the box again, and I almost feel bad about what he's offering me. It's like I'm destroying part of his history, and I feel my stomach clench at the thought of him resenting me for it someday.

"Edward, I can't take this. I don't want you to erase your life before me. I just...I get so jealous because I have to share you. I can't be the reason you give all this up."

"But don't you see? You are the reason. If it weren't for you, I'd still be living like this, never knowing how good my life could be. I've already given it all up for you. Now all you have to do is get rid of it."

I sniffle and look up and into his deep green eyes. "I think part of me isn't really sure why you're with me to begin with."

"What? How can you say that?" His eyes burn into mine, and I can tell he's genuinely curious, but I don't know how to explain to him what I'm thinking.

"Look, I know I'm not the prettiest girl, and I'm not the sexiest girl. I'm not the smartest, or the funniest, and I don't have the biggest bank account. I'm just a normal girl, who's never been anywhere near extraordinary, and I'm okay with that. But you...you deserve someone extraordinary, Edward. Like those other women you've dated, who were beautiful and curvaceous and perfect. I keep feeling like I'm going to wake up one morning only to find that you've realized what a waste of time I've been, and that you'll leave me alone. Then what will I do?"

I'm trying not to cry, but I know my eyes are misting up, and my voice is beginning to crack.

"Baby, don't ever say that about yourself. You can't tell how I feel about you? Bella," he says, reaching his hand up to lift my chin. "Listen to me for a minute. So those women are pretty. So they're sexy. So they're willing to do anything I ask. So what. They're not you, Bella. They don't make me laugh, and they don't get me all worked up with just a glance. They don't make me feel the way you do. They don't make me want to scream and fight one minute, and then kiss and make up the next. You do that. No one else ever has. Don't you get that, Bella? They should all be comparing themselves to you, because in my eyes they don't measure up. None of them would ever be enough for me, because they aren't you. I love you. I've never said that to any other woman before. Never. And I don't plan to, either. You're it for me, so, baby, we gotta figure this out, okay?"

I nod in response to his words as tears flow down my cheeks.

"Bella, I promise you that I didn't know that video was there. I didn't even know she took one, much less used my camera to film it. I swear to you, I threw the camera into the drawer and haven't looked at it since. Please, you have to believe me. Please."

I reach up and touch his face, stroking my thumb across his cheekbone. "I want to. I want to so much."

"Then do. I promised you that I'd never lie, and I haven't. I made mistakes, and I'll probably keep making them. I don't know how to do this relationship thing. I'm gonna need help and lots of patience from you, but I think together, we can figure it out, you know? I want to. I want to do this with you, so please, can't we just try?"

"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. I kept thinking in my head that there was no obvious reason for you to want me, and that soon enough you'd figure it out. I won't do that anymore, or at least I'll try really hard not to, okay?"

"Okay, that sounds good." He's smiling in front of me as he remains kneeling in front of me. "But Bella, there's one thing we need to straighten out right now, okay?" he asks.

"What?"

"Baby, when things come up between us—and you and I both know they will—you have to promise to stay and talk to me about it. You can't just keep running away from me, Bella. It's not fair to either of us, and one of these times, I'm gonna be mad and I might not be here when you come back, okay? Please, we need to work on talking things out. That's what I want more than anything."

I take a deep breath. I run because my mother ran, and it's all I know. I don't tell Edward that, because I don't want him to think I'm certifiable, but it's true. "I promise, I'll stay and talk to you. No more running."

"Okay."

We sit looking at each other for a long time, neither of us saying a word. Finally, he speaks.

"So, I thought we could go out to the forest and you can burn all this stuff, and then we can bury it. Maybe tomorrow, if you want."

"Um, Rosalie and Emmett are having a barbeque tomorrow, and they kind of invited us." I'm not sure what he'll say about this idea, but I need to tell him, especially since we're working on communicating.

"That sounds fun. Maybe we can dispose of this on the way, if you'd like."

I nod, letting him know that I'm okay with it.

"Bella, I'd really like to meet your father. You think we could do that tomorrow, too?" he asks, taking one of my hands between his two.

"Yes. He'll be at Rose's, so you can meet them all. Jasper and Alice will be there, too."

Edward smiles up at me, a spark in his eyes again.

"I hate seeing you so sad, baby," I whisper, leaning toward him and waiting for him to lean the rest of the way, but he doesn't.

"I don't want to rush this. We're not having sex right now, you got it?" he asks me with a smirk firmly planted on his face.

"Yes, sir. As you wish, sir."

He smiles. "You're such a little vixen, you know that?"

With that, he reaches up and kisses me again, and I hesitantly put my arms around his neck, drawing me closer to him. He feels like heaven would feel, and I never want to let go, but he lets out a deep breath.

"What?" I ask.

Pulling back from me, he looks around. "I gotta clean this up. Damn it, why did I let myself get so messy? What's wrong with me? I should be on that Hoarders show, you know? You wouldn't believe some of the crap I found over the past few days."

He makes me laugh, and I place the box and trash can against the wall, then stand up and move toward the sofa. "Where do you want me to start?" I ask, and together we spend the rest of the evening putting things where they belong and talking about ourselves.

I feel like we're really on the right path now. Neither of us is completely blameless in our problems, but both of us will have to work harder than ever if we hope to get past them. As I watch Edward watching me, I know the hard work will be worth it.

I know when all is said and done, we're going to make it, because at this point, I don't think either one of us could survive on our own.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: First Cannes Rob. Now PDA Rob. This is turning into one of my favorite weeks ever! :D I love the way he kisses Kstew. Even if he is drunk off his tushy. :D**

**See you soon...**


	20. Chapter 20 Italy

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #17 – Italy  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a hubs who seems to think we can afford another car. Delusional much? :D Whatever. It gave me enough alone time to read through this and post it for you. I guess that's a good thing. :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, HollettLA, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**I stayed up half the night to get this done. Who knows what my day will be like today, but it's not looking good as far as more writing goes. With hub's list of things we HAVE to do, all the new Rob at Cannes pictures that are consuming my Facebook, and the barbeque we got invited to tonight...ugh, I kinda hate holiday weekends. :D**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 20**

**~*0*~ Italy ~*0*~**

We're driving down a little road that goes deep into the forest, and I've got a box on my lap. It's filled with Edward's past. I play with a matchbook that I've pulled out of it. It's the only one with a name I recognize, and I intend to use the matches Tanya gave Edward to set this whole thing ablaze.

Things are quiet between us, and I hope with everything I am that Edward's not regretting his decision. He told me as we cleaned and put his apartment back together that he was planning on coming to see me last night. I guess I just beat him to the punch. We've talked a lot over the past several hours we've been together, and I feel good about things. We're both trying, and we can't ask for anything more than that. I'm nervous for him to meet my family, but I know as long as he's his usual charming self, they'll all love him. Even Rosalie.

Once Edward pulls over, it's just a matter of finding a clear spot to burn and bury things in. He pulls a shovel from the back of my SUV and digs a hole, opening the box and dumping everything into it. After he's poured lighter fluid all over it, he looks up at me.

"Do it," is all he says, and for just a moment I hesitate.

I look at the matchbook in my hand again, turning it over and over and over as I try to figure out the best way of going about this. Letting out a deep breath, I open it and take two matches out, flip the cover backward, and light them. I palm the matchbook, and pull one of the matches into my other hand, holding it out to Edward.

"Together. We're doing this together, for us, right?"

He nods at me and takes the match, and in total synchronization, we drop them into the hole, lighting up the remnants of Edward's old life. I toss in the matchbook and we watch as everything burns. Edward puts his arms around me and pulls me to him, turning me so that his lips meet mine.

"I love you, always."

I nod and say it back, then lean my head on his chest and breathe him in. When the fire is out, Edward fills in the hole, covering the evidence that we've been here. After stomping on it for good measure, we get back in the car and drive to Forks, leaving Edward's past in our rear-view mirror.

Neither of us look back

~*0*~

It's drizzling—like always—when we get to Forks. Edward holds my hand, and I know he can tell that I'm nervous.

"Don't worry, I give good parent, okay?" he laughs.

"You give good parent? What does that mean?" I ask, cracking a smile for the first time in a while.

He looks over at me and smiles brightly. "I saw it in a movie. I don't know."

We both laugh a lot, blissfully happy together and choosing to be that way. I tell him how to get to Rosalie and Emmett's house, and soon we're there and I see all the cars parked along the street.

"Oh boy, I think they invited half the town."

Edward turns off the car and lifts my hand to his mouth. "I love you, okay? It'll be fine, don't worry. And even if they hate me, I won't let it stop me from trying to win them over. If they're important to you, they're important to me."

"Thank you, baby," I say, then lean over the console to kiss him. He tastes so good, and for a moment I let myself get distracted by how much I want him. Soon he pulls away and clear his throat, smiling at me.

"I think someone wants you," he says, pointing to my window.

Rose is standing there hold a grocery bag in her hands.

"Come on!" she yells through the window. "Stop stalling, you wuss!"

She laughs as she walks toward the house, and I take a deep breath, and open the door.

My dad is there, sitting in the living room talking to Jake and my Aunt Lillian. I introduce Edward to him first, since when it comes down to it, my dad's the most important person Edward is meeting today. Everyone else greets Edward warmly, and just like I knew he'd be, he's amazing with them. He and my dad end up talking about fishing for nearly an hour. I find it a boring topic, but they both seem to be having the time of their lives, so I let it go.

I try to help Rosalie and Alice in the kitchen, but all they want to do is gossip and ask about how things went between Edward and I last night. I tell them enough to make them leave me alone, then we talk about Brandon, and the bars, and Alice's upcoming wedding. It's a fun afternoon, and by the time we're ready to go, I feel like Edward has gotten to know even more about my life.

"So give me a call next week when you're back. I'll take you out and show you that fishing hole of mine," my dad tells Edward as I'm trying to push him out the door. We've got a bit of a drive home, and I'm ready to get on the road and be alone with my guy again.

"Absolutely, I will. It sounds like a lot of fun. And one of these days you gotta go out on my boat with me. I know this great spot, about five miles off shore, that's really something else. I've never left without catching my limit."

My dad smiles so big, I wonder if it's hurting his cheeks. "That sounds like a lot of fun. I haven't been out on the water in ages."

"Good night, Dad," I say, kissing his cheek, then pulling Edward toward the door.

"Night, Bells. Be careful driving back."

"We will. It was really nice to meet you, Mr. Swan," Edward says, shaking my dad's hand.

"None of that. You call me Charlie, that'll be good. And it was nice meeting you, too. Especially after all this time of Bells here hiding you away from us. Guess she thought we'd scare you off." My dad laughs and laughs, and it makes me shake my head.

"Dad, whatever," I say with a smile.

Once we're out the door, and I have Edward all to myself in the car again, I kiss him good and hard.

"What was that for?" he asks, panting and slightly out of breath.

"For being you, and for being perfect."

Once we get home, we make out for a little while longer, then Edward goes to bed. He has to work in the morning, and I know he's tired. We're taking things slow, which means no sex yet—according to Edward. It's hard to have him so close and not be all over him, but I let him sleep and I grab my laptop, going into the living room.

I pull up my Facebook page and take a deep breath. Opening the message tab, I type Eric's name. Then I do what I should have done a long time ago.

_Dear Eric,_

_I'm so sorry to do this, but I've met someone. And he's perfect and wonderful and everything I want._

_I'm not coming back. I'm staying here and I plan on spending my life with him._

_Thank you for being my friend and for all the fun times we used to have together. I wish you the very best in life and I hope you'll be happy._

_Bella_

I send the message, then unfriend and block Eric from my account. I'm not doing it to be cruel, but I can't have him contacting me anymore, and I know he will. A few months back he was talking about buying an airline ticket and coming to visit, but I managed to hold him off. I halfway wonder if he'll do that now. Hopefully, he won't, but I'll deal with that later if I have to.

I close my page and shut the computer, putting it away before going to lay down beside Edward. He pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead as I snuggle in next to him.

This is exactly what I need, and after the day we've had, I know I can get past anything if it means I'll still have Edward with me when night falls.

~*0*~

The summer moves along like it always does. Edward fishes for a week here and two weeks there. I work in the bar, serving half the town. Most of the fishermen know me by now, and it's always fun when they come in after a good fishing trip. One night they're all rather somber, and when I ask around, I find out that one of the older men—a captain who's been working out of Clallam Bay for over twenty years—has died. He had a heart attack while on a fishing trip, and his crew had to bring him in, but it was too late. I cling to Edward a little tighter that night, and wonder what I'd do if that ever happened to me.

I can't think about it. I don't know that I'd survive something like that.

In September, my birthday comes along, and Edward plans a little party with my family. My dad is there, and I notice him sitting more than normal. He's usually up and visiting with everyone, but tonight he's not. He looks a little pale and he's a lot more quiet than usual.

"Dad, are you feeling okay?" I ask as I bring him a beer and another hamburger.

"Yeah, I'm great. Why? Am I not looking like my handsome self?" he jokes.

"Dad, I'm serious. You look really pale and like you're tired. How do you feel?"

"I feel fine, Bells. Don't worry."

"Have you seen your doctor lately? You want me to call and make an appointment for a check up or something?" I'm really starting to worry about him. His cancer's been in remission for over a year now, but I'll always be afraid of it coming back. There's a good chance it could, and I want to make sure if that happens, we catch it early.

"No. Now stop worrying. Your old man's fit as a fiddle. Maybe it was the boating trip with your boy a couple weeks back. I tell you what, he sure knows how to sail. We got caught up in some pretty choppy water, but he knew exactly what to do. You got yourself a good one there, Bells."

I smile at him, though I'm still nervous. "Thanks, Dad."

I ask Rose if she's noticed anything different about my dad, and she confirms my fears—she thinks something's wrong, too.

"Bella, present time!" Edward yells, and everyone gathers around to watch me open the gifts that they've brought for me.

Leah gives me a book she knows I've been wanting. It's wonderful, and so sweet of her. I know she doesn't have an easy time with money, so the fact that she bought it for me really means a lot.

Rosalie and Emmett give me a new stereo for my car. After riding with me to Port Angeles one day, Emmett decided my old one was ancient, and had to go. It makes me laugh, and he promises to install it himself. Rose laughs, too, and assures me she'll hire someone else to double check his work.

Alice and Jasper give me a very cute framed picture of Brandon, and a bracelet with my birthstone on it. It's beautiful and dainty, and I don't have anything like it.

My dad gives me a round trip airline ticket to Phoenix, so that I can visit my mom sometime. He also gives me a round trip ticket to Jacksonville, so that I can visit Edward while he's gone. I love them both, and I hug him and thank him over and over again.

"My turn!" Edward says, smiling like a little kid on Christmas morning. He pulls out a small red box, and my eyes go wide. It's little...almost tiny, even. I know what kinds of things come in small boxes, and I start to panic for a moment. Then I look up and see the way he's looking at me, and I know that no matter what I find in that box, I'll love it.

"I got this last spring. We made a stop in Italy while we were fishing in Spain. I wanted to get you something special, and I saw this and thought you might love it."

I open the box, and nestled inside is a necklace. It's pendant is oval in shape and it has the most intricate detailing on it. There are flowers and vines and spirals, all weaving together to create a border around the edge. Across the front it says "Bella" and my eyes water as I look at it. I'm almost afraid to touch it, it's so beautiful.

"It's made of silver from Spain. Do you like it? It's got a chain, too, and it's a locket. I put our picture inside," Edward says as he kneels next to my chair.

I pick it up and open it. Tucked neatly inside is a picture of Edward and me. It's one from when we were in Seattle together last year, and it's from the day he first told me he loved me. Looking at it and remembering that day makes me tear up, and I rub my fingers over it and admire how pretty it is. On the other side of the picture are the words "I Love You," with two small gold hearts intertwined together underneath them. It's exactly what I like, and I love that Edward knew that when he chose it for me.

"There's something written on the back, too," he whispers into my ear.

Flipping it over, my breath catches.

_Always_

_Edward_

"Oh baby, thank you," I say, before bursting into tears and hugging him.

Edward takes the necklace from me and puts it around my neck, fastening it.

"I'll never take it off," I promise, and I grab him and kiss him. Everyone laughs and cheers, but I don't care. I'm happy, and this has been the best birthday of my entire life.

~*0*~

As October nears, my mood begins to darken. I know Edward will be leaving soon, and I'm not ready. Our summer hasn't been perfect—not by any stretch of the imagination. It's been real and hard and exciting and trying and loving, and I don't want it to end. I tell myself I only have to hold out for two more seasons, and then Edward will be done. He'll stay in Washington with me, and we can officially begin our lives together. I don't want to wait that long, but he makes it a little better when he tells me it's actually only going to be a little over a year. He has two more tours in Argentina, another in Europe, and another in Washington, and then he's done. I tell myself over and over again that I can wait...I can make it. I've almost convinced myself, until I remember what's it's like here without him, and then I get sad again.

One morning, we're in bed talking about our upcoming week. Edward seems slightly nervous for some reason, and I make myself calm down and wait for him to talk to me. I don't jump to any conclusions, and I don't let my mind wander. I know that when he's ready, he'll tell me. I trust him enough to wait.

"So, I was thinking about something," he says in a hesitant way.

"Okay."

"Well, when I leave in a few weeks, I was thinking that maybe it's time to give up my apartment. It would save me a lot of money if I didn't have to pay rent year round, you know? Jasper's giving up his since he and Alice are getting married next summer."

His idea is news to me, and I'm curious what started him thinking this way.

"Okay, so what would you do with all of your things?" I ask, tracing my hand up and down his arm, letting my fingers tease the golden brown hairs on his skin.

"I thought maybe I could leave them here, with you."

It's quiet in the room as I replay in my mind the thing he just said.

"You want to leave them with me?" I ask.

"Well, yeah. I thought maybe next year when I come back, maybe I could just live with you. I mean, I spend pretty much every night with you already, and I don't see any reason to be paying rent and utilities on two places. Do you?"

His reasoning sounds so logical, that I can't argue with him.

"No, I guess not. You want to live here, in the apartment, or were you wanting to get another place?" I ask. The idea is starting to grow on me, and I'm getting excited. It's one I hadn't thought would happen until after his contracts were up, but now that I am thinking about it, I want it.

"Well, we could live here for awhile, if you want. There's plenty of room, and I'm only gonna be here a few months. Then once I'm back for good, we can look at something a little bigger, maybe with some extra bedrooms and a yard."

A smile crosses my face, and I turn to look at him. "A house with more bedrooms? What would we need that for?" I ask in a teasing manner.

"Oh, I don't know. I'm sure we can figure out some way to fill those extra rooms."

He looks at me with so much love and kindness in his eyes, that I can't look away.

"Do you think your dad would be okay with me moving in here with you?" he asks.

"My dad would be fine with it. I'm just about positive. I think he might be a little jealous, though. I mean, I'll get to watch all those fishing shows with you, and he'll be stuck home alone."

Edward laughs at me, and he moves a bit so that he can kiss me.

"I love you, baby," he says, letting his hand push under the sheet and across my chest.

I arch up into his touch, whimpering from the feel of his skin on mine.

"I want you, Bella. Can I have you?" he whispers as he kisses my neck and nibbles on my ear lobe.

"Ugh, yes. Please," I say, letting my hands roam around his sides and settle on his back. Soon he's hovering over me, and I'm instantly glad that we didn't put our clothes back on after last night's round of hot, sweaty sex. It had been dirty and naughty, and I'd come three times. Each time with his cock in a different part of me. It was amazing, but feeling him worship me like he's doing now always beats everything else.

He's so hard and I feel him heavy against my hip. He kisses me, and it's so heated and wet that before either of us realizes what's happening, he's pushing into me.

"Oh fuck, you feel good, baby," he says. I know he's not wearing a condom, and I know the feeling of my pussy is so much more intense when he's bare like this. He slides back and forth, rocking in and out of me. I try my hardest to meet him thrust for thrust, and as my fingers dig into his back—pulling him down on me—I feel another orgasm begin to build.

"Edward, oh baby, harder," I moan, wrapping my legs around his hips and letting my feet push against his ass. He slides his knees forward and sits back on them, pulling my body along with him. We never lose our connection, and soon I'm angled with my hips up and he's hitting a part so deep inside of me that I call out, grasping at him.

"Ah, Bella," he groans. He watches where we're connected, seeing himself slide in and out of me. "So good, so fucking good every time, baby."

My tits shake back and forth as he continues to pound into me. I reach back and grab onto my headboard, holding on as Edward manipulates my body to his liking. I feel myself start to tingle, at first in my toes and then the pit of my stomach. I know Edward's getting close. I can tell by the look on his face, and his brow furrows as he concentrates.

"Yes, oh shit yes," he yells, thrusting harder and harder before my fingers move to find my clit, and I begin to rub. "Ah, damn it, Bella!" he calls out as he watches me, and soon he's cuming in me, and holding my hips tight against his.

I continue to rub and I'm so close, that all it takes to send me over the edge is Edward reaching out and palming my breast. His thumb rubs over my nipple, and I scream out in orgasmic bliss. My eyes close tight and I see stars as I shake and quiver and cum all over his cock.

After a few seconds, and as our breathing begins to slow, Edward lays down on top of me, never pulling himself out. He kisses me and brushes the hair away from my face.

"I want to be with you forever, Bella," he softly says, looking deep into my eyes.

"You will. Forever and ever and ever. You and me."

He smiles. "You and me."

His lips find mine, and it's the best kind of morning in my world. And I don't ever want it to end.

~*0*~

It's a bright and sunny Thursday morning and I'm opening up the bar. Edward's gone fishing, and he'll be back in a few days. I miss him, but I know this is his last trip of the season. In about two weeks he and his crew will leave for Argentina, and I'm doing my best to forget it's going to happen again.

Two things occur at once. Mike walks in, which is odd since it's the middle of the day. I see him every once in a while, and he's a good friend to me. He never mentions Edward, just asks if I'm still seeing "him" and then laughs off my reply. As he walks up to the counter, the phone rings.

"Hang on Mike," I say. "Let me grab this and then I'll get your usual."

"That's okay, Bella. I'm not here for that. It's something else."

His reply makes me curious, but I just smile at him and pick up the phone.

"Charlie's at Clallam Bay, this is Bella. How can I help you?"

"Bella, it's Rose."

"Hey Rose, what's up?" I ask, noticing that her voice doesn't sound as positive as it usually does. I worry that maybe her fertility drugs didn't work again. It's been over a year that she's been trying to get pregnant, and every month brings another round of devastation when her cycle begins.

"Leah's coming in to cover for you. You need to come to Forks, Bells. It's your dad."

My hand starts to shake. "What's wrong?"

She sighs into the receiver. "Look, I'm not supposed to tell you over the phone, so act surprised when you hear it. He passed out this morning, and my mom and Emmett got him to the hospital. They ran his blood work and did some tests, and the cancer's back. Bella...it's bad."

I draw in a stuttered breath and blink back tears. I knew this was coming. I had a feeling.

"I'll be right there."

**~*0*~**

**A/N: I posted pictures of Bella's locket, chain, and bracelet in my Facebook group. If you want to see them and aren't a member, find me. I'll let you in. :) And if I friend you and don't add you to the secret group, yell at me and remind me to do it. :D Things are hectic, I can't remember everything. :D ( Beegurl OneThree FanFickee )**

**Is this story reminding you of anything yet? A song, perhaps? :)**

**See you soon...**


	21. Chapter 21 Island

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #15 – Island  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a family that kept me very busy over the holiday weekend. And children who seem to love arguing as much as they love breathing and eating. It's gonna be a long summer...**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, HollettLA, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**I got 2 walls painted, 2 sets of curtains installed, 6 loads of laundry done, 1 barbeque attended, 3 loads of dishes done, and one car shopped for. I know it doesn't seem like much, but considering all the writing I've done since Thursday night is this chapter...yeah, I'm screwed. :D Let's see how fast I can write the end of this story, without messing it up too badly. :D Oh yeah, and since my girlies have lives, most of them haven't preread this, so I don't know how bad it is. I'll edit mistakes as they find them. :)**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 21**

**~*0*~ Island ~*0*~**

I hang up the phone and just stand there, staring at it. I don't even know how much time has gone by, but soon I hear someone clear their throat behind me.

"Um, Bella? Everything okay?"

Turning around, I remember that Mike is here, and he's looking at me like I'm about to fall over or something.

"Uh, yeah. Listen, can you watch the bar for me for a minute? I need to run up to my apartment and get something. Leah's supposed to be coming in, I guess. So just watch it until she gets here, or I get back. Whatever."

I quickly walk through the doorway without waiting to hear his answer. Not that he can do anything if a customer comes in, but he could hold them over until Leah gets here.

A few minutes later I'm back with my purse and keys in my hand. Leah's standing behind the counter talking to Mike, and I stop to thank her for coming in.

"Of course. Go see your dad; make sure everything's okay with him. I'll cover you for the next couple of days, don't worry."

I hug her and thank her, then hurry down the hallway and out the back door. Sitting in my car, my hand is shaking so badly that I can't get the key in the ignition. Just as I lay my hands on my lap and start to cry, there's a knock on my driver's side window. It makes me jump, and then I see Mike standing there.

"You okay?" he asks when I open the door.

"No, my dad's in the hospital. I have to go to Forks."

He looks at me closely. "Bella, I don't think you should drive like this. Why don't you let me take you over. I'm heading in that direction right now anyway for work stuff, so I'll give you a ride."

His offer is very sweet, and I want to take him up on it, but then how will I get home?

"Why don't you leave your car keys in there with Leah, and then when Edward gets back, he can drive over to Forks and get you. That way you can spend a few days with your dad. Edward will only be gone a few more days, right?" Mike asks.

It's a great idea, and I nod and mumble an "uh huh" to him. I take my keys to Leah and explain what's going on, then Mike and I go out to his car. He has a nice car, and for a moment I wonder if I'll ever have anything as nice. Not that I want it, but I'm just curious.

The drive to Forks is quiet, and I'm staring at the trees as they whiz by us. Why didn't my dad let me make him a doctor's appointment last month? I knew something was wrong when he was looking so pale at my birthday party. What if he waited too long? What if we can't stop it now? If only I'd done something more than just spend all my time thinking about Edward leaving. If only I'd spent more time with my dad. What if this is it? What if Edward leaves and then my dad dies? How will I handle that without Edward here? Would he come home if I asked him to? Could he?

"So, Bella, I wanted to talk to Edward about something. I know this is bad timing, but do you think you could have him call me when he's back?" Mike asks as we approach the hospital. The trip has flown by and I don't really register his words.

"Oh, um yeah, I'll tell him."

"Great. He can call me at work, that's fine," he says as he grabs a card from a cubby hole in the console. "This has my work number and my cell. Either of those are good. Just tell him sometime next week, okay?"

I nod. "Sure."

I don't really let myself wonder why Mike wants to talk to Edward, but it seems odd since they've never gotten along very well. My thoughts are too focused on my dad, and as we pull up to the hospital, Mike asks me if I'd like him to walk me in. It's a nice, friendly gesture, and I thank him for it. The woman at the front desk tells me which room my dad is in, and Mike and I walk down the long, white hallways until we find it.

Rosalie is standing outside the room talking to Emmett, and she sees me first.

"Hey," she says, waiting for us to get closer. She gives Mike a double take, probably wondering why he's there, but then looks back at me. "The doctor's in with him now. You should go in, too, so you can hear what he has to say. Heaven knows your dad probably won't tell you exactly what's going on, so you should hear it for yourself."

She smiles, remembering how he kept things from us last time, and I turn to Mike.

"Thanks for the ride, I really do appreciate it. I'm okay from here."

He smiles. "Any time. I hope things are all right with your dad," he says, then hugs me and says goodbye to us.

Rose looks at me in a strange way, and I know she's dying to ask about it, but I don't let her. I hurry into my dad's room just in time to catch the tail end of the doctor rattling off several test results.

"Oh, Bella," he says, "I'm glad you could make it. I was just telling your dad some of the results from our tests this morning." He turns back toward my father and continues. "As you know, there are four stages of cancer. Last time we were at stage three. That's where we're at again. I think if you'd waited any longer, things may have progressed to stage four, but luckily we caught it in time."

Doctor Hunter smiles at my dad and me. It makes me feel a little better, especially with the way I was thinking on the drive over.

"I have every reason to be hopeful that we'll beat this again, just like last time. There's no reason to give up. We know what treatments worked previously, and we're going to do our very best to make sure we get rid of this, okay?"

"Thank you, Doctor Hunter," I say, shaking his hand before he turns to my dad.

"I will see you in my office Monday morning, Charlie. Your first round of chemo starts then, got it?"

My dad nods and grunts his acceptance. I know he hated chemotherapy before, but if he wants to stay alive, he doesn't have many other choices.

"Bella, we're going to keep him overnight, but as long as everything goes fine you'll be able to take him home tomorrow morning. I trust you and your family will be able to help him out like you did last time?" he asks me.

"Of course," I respond, knowing that soon enough I'll have lots of extra time once Edward's gone again. In a weird way, I'm happy that I'll have something to take my mind off of missing him so much. I just wish it wasn't this again.

I sit with my dad for the rest of the afternoon, visiting with Rose, Emmett, and my Aunt Lillian. A few of his friends stop by, too, including Jake and his dad Billy. My dad seems to be in good spirits. When visiting hours end, Rosalie offers to give me a ride back to my dad's house, and it's then that I realize I didn't bring anything with me. I have no extra clothes, or even a tooth brush. We stop by the store so I can grab a few little things, and I try to remember if I left any clothes at my dad's the last time I stayed.

"So, Mike, huh? What was that about?" she asks. I'm kind of shocked she held off asking this long.

"Oh, he came into the bar for something right as you called. I think he wanted to talk to Edward. I don't know, but he offered to drive me, which was probably smart. I don't know that I would have made it in one piece otherwise. I was shaking pretty bad."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you, but you needed to be here."

She promises to pick me up in the morning, and I go into my dad's house, wanting nothing more than to be alone so that I can call Edward. I need him, and as I cry to him on the phone, he promises to try and get back early. I hate that my problems have to take him away from his work, but I can't help it. I need him with me. I need his arms around me, his shoulder to cry on, and most importantly his words of love and encouragement. As I lie on the couch through the night, I wonder how I'll ever make it without him here.

~*0*~

It's near midnight on my third day in Forks when Edward shows up. My dad has settled into a routine of sorts, and we're just kind of waiting for Monday. Tomorrow is Sunday, and my dad has his heart set on going to Jake's for a barbeque, even though I think it's a bad idea. I'm hoping that Edward can talk him out of it, but seeing the camaraderie between them tells me we'll be going to Jake's on Sunday afternoon, whether I want to or not.

The barbeque is fine, and Edward actually gets along pretty well with Jacob. He's able to see the relationship between the two of us, and how sibling-like it is. He never had any reason to worry about us together, and I'm glad that even after all this time, he can see it for himself. I never want him to have any doubt about my feelings.

We stay at my dad's for a few days. Edward helps me a lot with caring for my dad, especially after his first round of chemo Monday morning. I tell him about Mike asking to talk to him, and he seems puzzled as to why Mike would be looking for him in the first place. Tuesday evening, we drive back to Clallam Bay, after my Aunt Lillian comes to stay with my dad. She and Rose are planning to help him for the rest of the week, and I need to get back to the bar. Leah's been working every day since I left, and I know she needs a break.

It's Wednesday night and I'm lying in bed next to Edward. I know he's supposed to be leaving in a week, and I want so badly to ask him to stay. I start to talk several times, yet my voice always seems to fail me. I can't do it.

"So, I talked to Newton yesterday," Edward says.

With all that's been going on, I completely forgot that Mike had been looking for Edward.

"Oh yeah? What did he want?" I ask. I brace myself for the worst. It could be anything, including something about his whack job cousin Tanya, who even after all this time can't seem to take a hint. Not that she's done anything crazy or extreme, but I've run into her a few times. Each time she mentions my "friend" Edward and how she can't wait to see him again. Whatever, delusional bitch.

"Well, he kinda offered me a job. Or, the plant did."

He's silent after he tells me, and so am I. "A job? What kind of job?" I ask, wondering if this could be it. If this could finally be the reason he gets to stay with me.

"Well, something about being an inspector at the plant. They need someone to inspect the deliveries of fish and the boats they come in on. They're trying to make sure everything is done according to the laws and codes and stuff. You know, that the fishermen are doing things the right way."

It sounds like a really boring job to me, but I don't care. If it means that Edward doesn't have to go, then it's my favorite job in the world.

"So, what do you think about it?" I ask quietly, trying to judge his mood about the offer.

He sighs. "I don't know. I still have over a year on my contract, so we'll see."

"When do you have to give him an answer?"

"Within the next week or so," he says. It seems like he's hiding something—like he's not telling me everything.

"But you're leaving in a week."

"Yeah, about that," he mumbles. "I called my boss and got a month's extension. I don't have to leave for another five weeks."

I shift onto my elbow and look at him. "What?" I ask, and I know my voice is filled with excitement, but I can't help it. I have more time with him. He'll be here until around Thanksgiving, and the thought of spending a family holiday with him excites me.

"I told Aro that I've got a family emergency and I can't get away yet. I talked to the guys on the crew and they're fine with staying. A couple of them talked about picking up an odd trip here or there with other boats. I think that'll be good for them. It will give them some experience working with other crews, you know?"

"Yeah, that would be great for them. Wow, he just gave you an extension? No questions asked?" I'm curious, because from what Edward's said before, it sounds like his boss isn't the nicest guy around.

"Well, I had to promise to fill my quota by the normal end date, which means catching the full amount in about two-thirds of the time. We'll just have to fish a lot more often, and not spend as much time on land."

I don't mind that part. The less time he's on land, the less I have to worry about all the pretty senoritas propositioning him.

"Can you do that? Is it possible?"

He looks at me and raises his hand to brush a piece of hair behind my ear. His fingers trail down my jaw and across to my lips. "Baby, I wouldn't have promised it if it wasn't possible. I have a good name in the fishing industry. I've worked hard to get the reputation I have. I'm proud of it."

His words make me smile, and I snuggle up to him, finally letting myself fall asleep. My mind has one less worry on it tonight. I have Edward for an extra month, and I'm not going to take it for granted.

~*0*~

Over the next few weeks, things slowly continue in a pattern of sorts. Edward and I take our turns with my dad, helping him a few days each week. The guys on Edward's crew are fishing with lots of different boats, and it makes Edward hopeful that once he quits fishing, they'll be able to find new crews to join. He doesn't say much more about the job, though I wish he would. I know he was supposed to give Mike an answer already, but he hasn't said anything at all about it.

One day, he and I clean out his apartment and turn in his key to Mrs. Cope. All of his things are moved into my place, and we're officially living together. My dad says he's not too sure about us living in sin, but then he laughs and just asks that we make sure we're married before we give him any grand kids. Edward and I both laugh about that, knowing that babies are a long way off for us.

A week into November, Edward comes in late one evening. He looks like he's flustered, and I'm not quite sure why. With all that's been going on, and the stress of my dad's illness wearing on me, I know I haven't been the easiest person for him to be around. I feel bad about it, but I know I'm doing the best that I can. Something is weighing him down, as well, and I hope that maybe he'll finally tell me what it is.

"They asked me to fish one more trip. They said their total for the season is low and they need bigger numbers to fill their quota. They're gonna pay us double what they usually pay."

My eyes go wide. "Double? For a regular trip?"

"Yeah. Jasper and the guys want to do it. Jasper figures his cut from just this one trip will pay for the wedding next summer. It's too good of an offer to pass up, you know?"

"Well, yeah, it's a good deal. When would you go?"

He fidgets just a little, his fingers playing with his keys. "Tomorrow."

I stare at him in disbelief. "Tomorrow? But, why so soon? I mean, you're not ready at all."

"I know, but they need us out tomorrow, or they'll find someone else. They asked me because they know I'll deliver."

The thought of spending a week without him is frustrating to me, but I really don't want to tell him that.

"But you were gonna help this week with my dad," I say, hoping that maybe he'll understand how much I need him.

"Damn it, Bella, everything's not about you, okay?"

He turns and stomps off to the bedroom, leaving me alone in the living room, staring after him. He never blows up at me for things. Never. Something else is going on, and I can feel it in my stomach. Not wanting to cause a scene or a big fight, especially if he's leaving tomorrow, I slowly get up and follow him into the room.

"I didn't mean to insinuate that everything_ is _about me. I'm just saying I really need your help, and I don't have anyone else lined up to help me with my dad this week. That's all."

He's sitting on the bed, facing away from me, but I can see how tense his shoulders are, and it makes me nervous.

"Call Emmett or Jake or something. I'm sure one of them would be more than happy to help you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, confused by the tone of his voice.

"Nothing," he says, shaking his head.

"What going on? What's wrong?"

"I'm just stressed out, okay? Ugh, why do you always have to press me about this shit?"

I'm taken aback by how angry he seems to be getting, and I'm afraid to say anything more. I really don't want what is most likely one of our last nights together this season to end up in a fight. If he goes fishing for a week or two, that means he'll only be here for a few days before he has to leave for Argentina. That is, if he's still planning on going to Argentina.

"I'm not pressing, I'm just asking. Obviously you're upset about something, and I want to help."

"Well, baby, you can't help me with this one, okay? You keep worrying about your dad and your own problems and let me handle mine."

I've had enough of his crap, and I walk across the room so that I can stand in front of him and look him in the eye.

"Look at me," I demand, waiting until he finally looks up from the floor. "What is going on? Tell me. I'm not stupid, Edward. I know something's up, okay?"

He laughs a sad laugh, then rolls his eyes. "Is there anything you haven't asked me about lately, Bella? Anything at all?"

"Yeah, the job offer."

"Yeah, the job offer. Why haven't you asked me about it, huh? Do you not care? Did you just figure I'd take it and we'd keep playing house here? Why? Tell me."

His words are hurtful to me.

"I'm not just playing house, Edward. I thought we were in this for the long haul. Is there something _you_ need to tell _me_?" I ask. I can feel my eyes starting to sting with tears, and I will myself to hold them back. I don't want to cry in front of him.

He looks back down to the floor. "I didn't take the job."

"What? But, why?" I ask. I don't understand what's happening to us.

"Can you really see me doing that job for the rest of my life, Bella? Can you see me ever being happy in a position like that?"

"Well, you don't have to stay in that position. I mean, you could work it for a little while and then move on to something else." I'm trying really hard to stay positive and focused, but it's not easy.

"Look, I'm just not ready to give up sailing yet, okay? 'Cause I know once I quit, you won't ever let me go back, and in case you haven't figured it out yet, my life is on the water. It's who I am. I can't just stop."

His confession hits me like a tons of bricks. I can't keep the tears from overflowing my eyes anymore. "You can't stop? Or you won't stop? I thought you said that you'd stop to be with me? I thought we had a plan? Was that just a lie?" My bottom lip is starting to quiver, and I can hear my words cracking as I say them out loud.

"Yeah, we have a plan, but I'm just...I'm not ready. I'm not ready to stop. I need it too much. I made promises to people. People depend on me. They need me."

"I need you!" I yell at him. "I need you here with me! My dad is dying, for all intents and purposes, and I need your help. I can't do this alone, Edward."

"Yeah, well sometimes we have to let go of what we want so that we can give other people what they need."

"Seriously? You give and you give and you give of yourself to everyone else, but not me. Not when I really need you. And I do, Edward. I need you here. I did this on my own last time, and I can't do it again. Yeah, your crew might need you, but so do I."

He stares at me for several seconds, then lets out a deep breath. "I'm not staying, Bella. I'm gonna fish this last trip, and then I'm going. I'll be back next season."

I'm so angry and hurt, and I can't keep my thoughts from flying out of my mouth.

"What if I'm not here next season, huh? What if I can't wait anymore? What if I can't wait for you to give me what I need?"

Slowly he stands from the bed, coming closer to me. "Are you saying I have to choose between you and my job? Is that it? Because you already promised me you'd wait another year until my contract is done. You're gonna back out on it now?"

"You promised if you got a job offer here, that you'd stay. And you're not. Why should I keep my promise when you're not keeping yours?"

His eyes are alight with a fire and rage that I've never seen before.

"Fishing is who I am, Bella!" he yells, and his voice is like thunder shaking my soul down to its core. "I have a name and image to protect. I've worked too many years to throw it away now! The fucking plant even offered to buy me out of my contract, and I still said no. What does that say about this place, huh? You think I really want to end up here forever? Working in a fish factory? Weighing the catches that other crews bring in? How the fuck could that ever make me happy, Bella?"

I'm sobbing and my arms wrap around my middle.

"Because I'm here," I whisper. I don't know if he can even hear me, but he must.

"Yeah, well maybe that's not enough."

With those final words, he turns and storms out of the room, and I hear the front door slam shut. My eyes shut tight and I cry and cry, letting out the sobs that have built up inside of me. I don't know where he's going, but I can't let things end this way. I know he loves me. I know it. Something's gone horribly wrong today, but I know this isn't him. Not the real him, anyway.

I have to find him. I have to fix this. I can't let him leave like this.

~*0*~

It's an hour after I last saw him, and I've been walking all over Clallam Bay, looking for him. It's not until I come to the beach that I finally spot him. He's sitting on a rock, looking out over the water, with a bottle in his hands. I slowly approach him, trying hard not to be overly emotional.

"Edward?" I say softly. He already knows I'm here, but he doesn't answer. Instead he just takes a drink from the bottle of liquor he has. "Edward, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I asked you to stay. I'm sorry that I need you so much. I'm sorry that I'm not enough. And I'm sorry that I would rather have you working a boring job for the rest of your life, just so that I could have you every day. I love you, and I want you here. I'm not sorry for that. Please, tell me what's going on?"

It takes him a couple of minutes before he says anything, and then his voice is alarmingly different from earlier.

"If you want me to take the job, I will."

"You can't put this on me. Please, don't. I don't want to be the reason you hate your life, Edward."

He blows out a long, deep breath. "Then what do you want, Bella? You want me to stay, but you won't ask me to. You want me to give up my life and stop being who I am, but you don't want me to resent you for it. What do you want?"

"I just want you."

He laughs a sad, loud laugh. "You want me, but you won't wait for me. Is that it? You gonna go run off with some other guy if I don't take the job? You blackmailing me now?"

"Edward, don't say that. Why are you being so hateful to me? I love you. I only want to love you, that's all."

"If you loved me, you'd wait like you promised. You'd let me be who I am. You'd let me sail and fish and go all over the world doing what I love most. You'd let me be the person I'm proud to be."

I want desperately to touch him, but I can't. He's saying such vicious and horrible things; I can't bring myself to connect with him in that way.

"I want you to be that person, but I want you with me. Is that so bad?"

He turns to look at me, giving me a cold stare. "Just let me go, Bella. Let me do what I need to do, and when I'm done, I'll be back, okay? Let me fish this trip, and then I'll come back and we'll figure out what to do about the job."

I nod at his words. "Go, go fish with your crew. But Edward, I can't wait forever. I want a life, a normal life. With a husband who's home every night, and children who know their father. I think I deserve that much."

He doesn't say anything; he just turns and stares at the water, taking another drink. After about ten minutes, I lean forward and kiss his cheek, whispering an "I love you" into his ear before asking him to come home to me. Turning around, I walk away and leave him on the beach. The walk is quiet and lonely, and I hold his locket between my fingers, remembering the way he looked when he gave it to me.

I know he loves me. I know he does. I just have to wait for him to work all this out in his head.

It's the wondering how long it will take that worries me.

I get home, change into one of his t-shirts, and go to bed. In the morning when I wake up, there's a note on my nightstand.

_I love you. Always._

Looking around the apartment, I notice that Edward's not here. I hurry to the window and look out at the harbor, searching for his boat. Maybe if I hurry, I can catch him before he leaves. When I spot his space, my heart stops.

He's gone.

**~*0*~ EPOV ~*0*~**

"Man, Ed, why you want outta here so early this morning? I like to sleep, you know? And with Brandon crying all night, I don't get much of that anymore."

"I know, but I needed out."

"What's up?"

"Bella and I had a fight. She wants me to take that fish plant job. I couldn't."

"I thought you wanted to be here with her."

"I do, but I'm not ready to quit this yet, you know? I mean, this is who I am. It's who I've been for so long; I don't know what I am without it."

"Don't you wanna find out?"

"I don't know. What if who I am isn't anything great? What if who I am isn't someone Bella wants anymore?"

"Honestly? How could you even think that?"

"I just...I don't know. Things have been stressful. She's all messed up over her dad, and it's eating away at me because I can't do anything to fix it. I'm so helpless and useless to her. And then that stupid job offer, and all this work stuff... I just let things build up until I exploded last night. I shouldn't have, but I did."

"How's her dad doing? Emmett said it's not looking good."

"Nah, it's pretty bad. I don't know if he's gonna pull out of it this time."

"That's rough, man. No wonder Bella's taking it so hard this time around."

"Yeah. I know."

"So how'd you get Aro to give us an extension? He bought the family thing?"

"Yeah, he did once I told him that Bella and I got married."

"No shit! What'd he say to that one?"

"He asked if she's pregnant and how big her daddy's shot gun is."

"Sounds like Aro. So, how long we out for this time? You still thinking ten days?"

"Yep, that's the plan."

"Cool. So, uh...Alice had a bad dream. Normally I'd shrug it off, but she's like a little psychic or something. She knows stuff."

"Oh yeah? Pretty bad?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we'll see. Hey, there's the island off Neah's Bay. I could use a good breakfast; I didn't have time to eat. You wanna stop?"

"Nah, let's just get this trip done. None of us had anything decent to eat this morning. I'll go get the guys working on something."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Oh shit. You think we oughtta be worried about all that black and gray and white out there? I don't see a stitch of blue anywhere on that horizon."

"Nah, we've been through worse. We'll be fine."

"Whatever you say, bossman."

*sigh* "We'll be fine."

~*0*~

**A/N: Let's just be clear here. Edward's NOT going back to what he was before. He and Bella are both under a lot of stress right now, and it's finally starting to really affect him. Everyone has bad days, you know?**

**This is the final EPOV for the story. We didn't get it last chapter because we needed to see his thoughts after this chapter. Hope that works for you. :)**

**See you soon...**


	22. Chapter 22 Police Station

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #21 – Police Station  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a knack for researching things I know nothing about. :D On that note, I've taken a bit of creative license with this story. Like, if you look up the real Clallam Bay, you'll notice it doesn't have a marina, or docks, or harbor, or whatever you want to call it. But Sekiu, which is next to it, does. :D I thought you'd like to know that. :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, HollettLA, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**A little disclaimer to this chapter. I live no where near the ocean. I can count on one hand the number of times I've even been to it. I've never been on anything bigger than a row boat, and I'm perfectly content with that fact. :D That being said, Wikipedia has a great Glossary of Nautical Terms page, and they helped me a lot with this chapter. Please forgive me if things are not perfect. It is just fiction, after all. :) But at least I tried, right? :D That's gotta count for something. :D**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 22**

**~*0*~ Police Station ~*0*~**

For the last few days I haven't felt well. Edward's been gone, and I know we didn't leave things on good terms, but the note he left me gives me hope. The more I've thought about it, and the more time I've spent seeing my dad try to cope with his disease, the more certain I am about my decision. As long as I have Edward in my life, I'll take whatever amount of it he can give me. If he needs to spend the next ten years fishing, I'll wait. Maybe I could even go with him. I can cook or help out on deck while the guys are busy with things. I could travel with him to whatever city he's fishing in and stay on land waiting for him. It doesn't have to be as cut and dry as we've made it. I wonder why I never thought about it before.

My dad is in the middle of his chemo treatments, and when I tell him about Edward's spur of the moment fishing trip, he doesn't say much. I think maybe he can sense that something's off between Edward and me, but he doesn't say anything. Edward's been gone a week before my dad gives me any indication that he knows something's up.

"You know, Bells, if you wanted to travel with Edward, I'd be fine here on my own. I could have Leah take care of the Clallam Bay bar, and you could leave. You've already spent so much time here helping me, and I don't want you to give up what you want for your life just so that you can help me. Life's too short, honey. You need to go after what you want."

Watching him struggle to get comfortable, I know that he really understands what those last words mean.

"I think I'll talk to Edward about that when he gets back. It would be fun. Maybe I could go with him and see all the places that he loves so much."

My dad smiles. "You would be happy, Bella. I know he makes you happy, and I want you to be happy."

Edward does make me happy, and when he gets back I'm determined to talk things through with him. I'll make sure we're together, as long as that's still what he wants.

~*0*~

It's the next week, and I wake up early one morning with a pounding headache. No matter what I do, it just won't go away. I feel like something's wrong—like something isn't quite right. I call my dad first, worried that maybe he's had a problem during the night. He assures me that he's fine, and Rosalie says the same thing when I talk to her. I breath a sigh of relief, but at the same time, something is still off.

What I really want to do is call Edward, but I know he doesn't have his sat phone with him. He's been gone a week, and I know he'll be back in a few days, but I need to talk to him. It doesn't usually bother me too much when he leaves his phone here. Every so often he forgets to take it when he goes out on fishing trips. I know it's not a habit for him yet, and he's never done it for anyone else, so I can't find it in myself be upset at him for it. Thinking maybe Jasper has his, I call Alice and find her in a panic.

"Alice, what's going on?" I ask. I'm hoping there's not something wrong with Brandon, but the way she's speaking, I can barely understand her. "Alice, slow down. What's going on?"

"I had a bad dream, Bella. It was really bad."

All this is over a dream? Wow, Alice seems a little wound up, but after all, it does sound like her to be all freaked out over something as simple as a dream.

"Alice, I'm sure it's nothing. I have bad dreams all the time, and it's not a big deal."

"No Bella, you don't understand. I have these dreams sometimes. I can't explain them, but they come true. And I had this dream a couple of weeks ago about Jasper and Edward. It was about them fishing, and it was bad."

My stomach begins to knot up a bit at the mention of Edward fishing, and I wonder if maybe something really is wrong with them. Maybe that's why I'm feeling like this today.

"I've had the same dream for the last four nights, but every time it just stops and I don't see what happens at the end. Last night was first time I saw what happened. I'm really worried, Bella."

"What did you see, Alice?" I ask, almost afraid of her answer.

"They're fishing and there's a storm. All the guys get into the life rafts, except for Edward. I see him on the boat—he won't leave. The wind is blowing and the waves are crashing all around them, and the next thing I know, I see Jasper in a life raft, and he looks out and sees the boat. The boat's heading right for him. Every other night, that's where it ends. I was so worried about Jasper and what would happen if the boat hit the life raft, but last night I saw it. I saw the end of the dream, Bella."

I don't want to ask, but I have to. "What happened?" I whisper.

"Edward steered away from them, and then I don't see him anymore. He's just gone. Edward, the boat, everything. It's all gone. I only see the life raft. I only see one life raft. I don't know what that means."

My heart is pounding and I feel like screaming.

"Alice, did Jasper take his satellite phone with him? Do you have the number?"

"No, he didn't take it."

I'm almost as panicked as Alice, and I tell her I'll call her back. I need to call Jake—he's the only person I know who can help me.

~*0*~

Jake seems surprised when I call the police station, but lucky for me he's on duty today.

"I'll check with the Coast Guard, Bella, but I doubt they've heard anything. With the stormy weather we've had this week, most boats have stayed close to shore—if not in port. Usually if something goes wrong, and it's people from around here, they call us right away and get us notifying family and next of kin."

The phrase "next of kin" almost makes me throw up. They only ever use those words when someone's dead. I can't even think of that right now. I just have to believe that Edward's fine, and that Alice's dream and my uneasy feelings are a coincidence.

"Are you working today?" Jake asks me.

"No, I was just going to catch up on some inventory stuff."

"Why don't you go over to the Coast Guard office in Sekiu and I'll meet you there in a little while. Maybe I can get Tia in the office to contact Edward's boat, just to make sure everything's okay," Jake says. I feel better about things after talking to him, and I call Alice and tell her what he's said. She tells me she's going to come over, too, and that she can't just sit home alone anymore.

Half an hour later, Jacob's police cruiser pulls into the parking lot, and Alice pulls in just moments after him. Sekiu is only five minutes from Clallam Bay, so I've been waiting a while.

"Come on, ladies. Let's go see what we can find out, okay?" Jake says, offering both Alice and me a reassuring smile.

The little office is busy, and there are three people sitting at computers with headsets on. I know the Coast Guard has a small set up here, since it's the farthest northwest location in Washington that has an airport. Whenever boats or aircraft are in trouble, and it's too far for the Alaskan crews to get to, the office here handles the calls.

Things seem relatively quiet, though one of the women is typing rather frantically on her keyboard. She's got a big map of the Pacific pulled up on her screen, and there are several small dots flashing on it. They're spread out across the ocean, and I don't know if they're boats or planes or what. There is also a weather map over the screen, and what looks to be a huge storm far out off land. I'm not too worried. I know Edward usually only fishes a few hundred miles off coast, so the fact that this looks to be around a thousand miles away doesn't seem too worrisome to me.

It's then that I notice one little red dot in the middle of that cloud cover, and I shudder at the idea of someone being out in that storm.

"Hey, Tia?" Jake says to the woman working so hard at her computer terminal. "How are things going out there today?"

She lets out a deep sigh. "It's not been good, Jake. We've got a bad storm coming in. Most of the ships have made it out of the way, but we've got a few we're watching."

"Oh wow, okay. Uh, well my friends here have their fiance's working a boat out there. Is there any way that you could track it? I've got the registration number for it."

"Yeah, sure. Give me just a second and I'll look them up."

Jake comes over to wait with us, and he's trying to be positive. He points to the little dots and tells us that they're ships—making sure that we notice how far out of harms way most of them are.

"I'm sure they're fine, Alice," I say. "I mean, they only fish a few hundred miles off shore, so I'm sure they're one of those dots that's in the clear. Knowing Edward, they're probably headed back inland. With that storm coming, he wouldn't put them all in danger by staying out there."

Alice looks at me with concern in her eyes. "Bella, they weren't fishing in their regular spot. Jasper said they were going out at least three times farther than they usually do."

Her words chill me to the bone, and I turn to look at the computer screen again.

"Jake, you got that number?" Tia asks.

"Yeah, it's WA 6398 OD."

Tia doesn't type anything. She just sits there staring at the screen. "What was that number again?"

"WA 6398 OD. Why? Is there something wrong?"

Tia turns and looks at us. "I've been watching your boys all day. They're this boat right here—the one on the front end of the storm." She points to the one dot I was praying wasn't Edward.

Alice takes several short breaths, then finds a chair to sit down on, and pulls it up next to me. My heart is beating faster than it has in ages, and I don't know what to do.

"Are they okay?" I ask. I can hear my voice shaking with concern, and it's not lost on me that Tia's eyes don't meet mine.

"Let me try radioing them again. It was a little patchy earlier when I talked to them. Things weren't good, but they were holding their own, trying to ride out the worst of it."

Alice's hand finds mine, and she squeezes tightly. I know she's scared. I am, too.

"6398...6398, come in. This is Coast Guard Three at Sekiu. What is your relative bearing?"

She listens intently for a few moments, and I hope she's hearing something over her headset.

"Yarr, confirmed. We're measuring the front end of the storm at a Beaufort force ten, bordering on eleven. What's your visibility?"

I don't understand any of the things she's saying, and I look to Jake. His face is white. I don't have to know what Tia's words mean to understand that Edward's ship is in trouble.

"How much water have you taken on? Is the ship still viable?" she asks, and my heart sinks. They're taking on water? Does that mean the boat's been hurt in some way? Are they sinking? What will happen if they have to get off the boat?

Alice is rocking back and forth in the chair next to me, humming some tune under her breath.

"It's breaking up pretty bad, but I'm going to put it on speaker so you can hear. Is that okay?" Tia asks me.

"Yes, please."

She flips a switch and soon the room is filled with sounds I've never heard before. There's a lot of static and silent moments, but every so often I can hear what sounds like wind and yelling, and it scares me.

"I don't know how much longer we can fucking hold out. The crew's getting suited up. If things get much worse, we'll have to pop the damn life rafts and abandon ship."

It's Edward's voice, and I gasp. "Edward?" I whisper. Just hearing him, and knowing that for the moment he's okay, makes me relieved. Then I register what he said.

"We're scrambling the choppers now, 6398. We'll be at the ready, awaiting your signal."

A few more minutes go by and we listen to the yelling and havoc that's happening on board Edward's boat. I want so badly to talk to him, but I don't want to distract him. I need him to come back to me. It's not much longer before I hear the words I've been dreading.

"Abandon ship! Mayday! 6398 declaring Mayday! We need assistance!" Edward's voice calls out.

"Choppers en route now. Advise all crewmen to enter the life rafts and await our arrival. ETA twenty-eight minutes."

One of the other workers starts making frantic calls, ordering around helicopters and flight crews, and reading off locations and degrees. The room erupts into chaos, and Alice and I hold on to each other as we try to keep in control of ourselves.

"All crew on life rafts," Edward's voice says.

"Captain, be advised to follow as well. Choppers are en route."

It's silent for a moment or two, and then I hear Edward's voice again, and it's not nearly as panicked as it was previously. It's almost an eery calm, and kind of quiet.

"Coast Guard be advised, Captain is not following. Two life rafts have deployed, one with two crewmen, one with three. All are suited and awaiting pick up. The waves are fuckin' killing me here. I can't get off the boat; I'm afraid in all this weather it'll run right over one of the rafts."

"Captain, abandon ship!" Tia tells him again, but I know Edward. If he thinks one of his men is in trouble, he won't leave.

"Negative. I'll wait until they're far enough away, then deploy the small single person raft I've got."

I can hear that he's still busy trying to ride out the storm, but I also hear him cursing and yelling about the waves crashing over the deck. I hear him yelling about the water smashing into the windows of the cabin, and making it almost impossible for him to see. He sounds crazed and busy, and I hold my tongue just waiting for him to say that he's okay, and that things are calming down. But he never does.

"Oh shit! Life raft two is dead ahead, in my path!" he yells.

Alice's hand tightens in mine, and I look at her. Her eyes are closed tight, and she's crying. I think this is what she saw in her dreams.

"What is your plan, 6398?" Tia asks.

"I'm steering into the storm," he says, and then it goes quiet.

We listen for several minutes, and then finally his voice blares through the room again.

"Tia?" he says.

"Yeah?"

"I need a favor. I have a girl at Charlie's in Clallam Bay. Her name's Bella Swan. I need you to find her and tell her that I'm sorry. Tell her that I love her and I didn't mean for things to end this way. Please, Tia."

"Edward, don't talk like that. Just do your job, and you can tell her yourself!" Tia yells back at him.

I want to scream and sob and grab the headset from Tia and tell Edward that I'm here, but I can't. I'm frozen in my spot, and I do nothing.

"Just tell her, Tia. Tell her I'll love her always. Tell her to be happy, and I'll wait for her."

"Edward!" she yells, and then the room goes silent. There's nothing.

And then the dot vanishes from the screen.

~*0*~

**A/N: Just keep in mind...I love the heartfail. :)**

**See you soon...**


	23. Chapter 23 Beach

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #9 – Beach  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is one less mouth to feed for the rest of the week! Woo hoo! Drama Queen is off to camp for four days! I know she'll have fun, and I'm sure I'll miss her, but wow...no drama in my house for four whole days! :D**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, HollettLA, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**Just so you know, I cried when writing a few different parts of this chapter. If you wanna take that as a tissue alert, feel free. Although, it could also just mean that I'm a big baby and I cry too much. I think that's what my hubs would say. :D**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 23**

**~*0*~ Beach ~*0*~**

Weeks go by. They drag by. They fly by. It's all just time, and it has no meaning to me anymore. I don't even know what day it is.

The first few days I was numb. I kept waiting for a call from Jacob or anyone, really. Nothing ever came.

Alice and I stayed in the Coast Guard's office until the helicopters were back. They recovered one life raft. One. I was thankful for the relief on Alice's face when she saw Jasper being lifted from the helicopter. He was hurt, but he was there. The ground crews assessed him and got him stable, then they flew him to the hospital in Port Angeles. At least his injuries weren't severe enough to warrant a stay in a larger Seattle hospital.

Paul and Alex climbed out of the chopper right behind Jasper. They all looked as though they'd seen a ghost, and I wondered if maybe they had. I just stood there on the pavement, waiting for something that never came. Finally, one of the pilots from the second helicopter approached me.

"Are you all right, ma'am?" he asked.

"Is that it?" I whispered, my eyes tearing up as he looked down at me.

"I take it you're not looking for one of these three."

I shook my head, unable to speak.

"I'm so sorry; the only raft we could find was this one. Once the storm dies down a bit, we'll resume our search."

Jake pulled me away from the runway and back to the parking lot.

"Bella, they'll find him. Don't worry. He's a smart guy, I'm sure he got himself out before anything happened."

It was then that I overheard one of the pilots talking to someone else.

"There was no ship anywhere. We looked and looked. The whole search area was scattered with debris, but we didn't see any sign of a vessel at all. I don't know what it's gonna be like when we go back out there. We encountered our first signs of debris ten miles before we even got to the life raft. With the way that wind was blowing, and the severity of those waves, we could be looking at a five hundred to a thousand mile search radius, easy."

My heart dropped. Edward was out there somewhere, and they may never even find him.

"Where are Embry and Jared?" I asked Jake.

He looked sadly at me. "I don't know, Bells. I don't know."

"I need to go home. If Edward comes back, he'll come looking for me. I need to go where he can find me."

I know my thinking was irrational, and that Edward wasn't going to just show up on my doorstep, but I couldn't think about anything else. I needed to be someplace where he would know to look for me. I need to be at my apartment. He always came there looking for me.

"Let me drive you, Bells. You don't look too well," Jacob offered.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just gonna go home and wait. He'll be back. He said he'll always come back for me. I just have to wait."

With that, I hurried to my car and left, driving as fast as I could manage back to Clallam Bay. Within minutes I was home and sitting on my bed, which really was _our_ bed. In one hand I held the note he left me. In the other, I clung to the locket he gave me. I rocked back and forth, hoping and praying that he'd come back. He had to come back.

It wasn't long before Rose and my dad showed up at the apartment. Jake had called them and they were worried sick. Emmett had gone to Port Angeles to be with Alice, but Rose brought my dad and Brandon with her. My dad held me as I cried and cried, begging him to make someone go look. If they started looking sooner, then maybe they'd have a better chance at finding him. I watched as Rose cried along with me, clinging to Alice's baby.

In all my sadness, I thought of something wonderful. If things really had happened the way Alice dreamed they had, and the way they sounded over the sound system, then that meant Brandon had his dad because of Edward. I wondered if Edward knew that when he made the choice he did. As he was turning his boat into the waves, I wonder if he knew just what his actions were doing. In my heart, I knew he probably did. As much as it hurt to admit it, Edward had sacrificed his own safety for someone else. And not just for his crewmen, but for their children. Brandon and Paul's children now had their fathers because of Edward. That knowledge brought on a whole new round of tears, and I cried until late in the night, when my exhausted body gave way to sleep.

I was like a zombie for the next few days. I refused to leave the apartment or the bar, needing to be there in case the Coast Guard or Jacob called with any news. Tia had called me a few times, just letting me know that crews were searching, but had yet to find Edward. She let me know that they had found the other life raft, with one suit inside. There was no sign of Jared or Embry, and that made me even sadder.

Jessica came by the bar late in the afternoon, the day after the accident had happened.

"Is it true? Is Embry missing?" she asked. I knew that they weren't together any more, but they had worked things out and decided to be adults and parent their baby girl, who was a few months old.

"I'm sorry, Jessica. I don't know much, but they're still looking."

Her face showed so much sorrow, and I moved around the countertop to hug her.

"What am I going to do without him here? How do I do this on my own?" she mumbled. I pushed my sadness aside and focused on comforting her. That was the first moment that I didn't think about myself, and for just that one moment, it felt good. Normal, almost. I knew I needed something to take my mind off of my own heartbreak. I felt like Edward would be back, so I knew I just needed to wait.

A week after the accident, the Coast Guard officially called off their search. Edward, Embry, and Jared were listed as Missing at Sea, and I locked myself in my apartment all day and wept. Everything around me reminded me of him in some way, and I felt like I was losing my mind. I'd spent months without him, but it had never been like this. I always knew he would be back for me. This time was different. This time, there was a very real chance that he was never coming back. I didn't know what to do.

I spoke with his parents a few times on the phone, and they were beside themselves with grief. I promised to keep them up to date on any information I heard. Edward's mom asked me if it was true—if we were engaged. I told her no, that Jake had just told the Coast Guard that so they would tell me things related to the search. We did live together, and we'd been dating for three seasons, so no one thought twice about it. Edward's mother sniffled and told me that she wished it had been true. She said she knew how much Edward loved me, and that she would always think of me as her daughter. Her words made me cry again, which at the time, I didn't think was possible. I'd already cried so much, I felt like I was out of tears, but her words brought on more. I was truly lost without Edward, and I didn't see myself ever fully recovering from the pain.

~*0*~

Thanksgiving is only a few days away, and I don't feel much like celebrating. I don't have a lot to be thankful for this year, but Alice has planned a big dinner, and Jasper is home from the hospital, so I know I have to go. I spend the whole day sitting with my dad or playing with Brandon. It helps to be focused on something else, and both of them offer me that much needed distraction.

Jasper finally corners me, and as much as I don't want to talk about the accident, I know he needs to. He has things that he needs to get off his chest. Part of me has some sick fascination with the fact that he was probably the last person to see Edward alive. I want to ask a million questions about that week that he was away from me. I need to know what he was thinking. Maybe Jasper knows why Edward was so on edge with me before he left. At this point, any kind of explanation will give me peace.

"I keep seeing him in my mind, you know? The way he was looking at me that last time. He was just up in the boat, staring at me with this look of horror on his face. I'd never seen him look scared before, but he was. He knew the boat was gonna hit us, and there was nothing we could do to stop it."

It's quiet around us, and Jasper's voice is very low and soft. His eyes are red, and I know he's been crying a lot. Alice told me he feels guilty. He feels like he didn't try hard enough to get Edward off the boat. He feels like he should have stayed behind with him and made certain Edward did what he promised him he would. But he didn't. He was worried about Brandon and Alice, and when Edward said he'd be right behind him, he believed him. Now he feels like it's his fault that Edward's not here.

"It all happened so fast, but one minute he heading right for us, and the next the boat was turning to the side, and right into the waves. I watched as long as I could. There was this one wave that came out of nowhere. It was easily three times as high as the boat. It just came crashing down on top of him, and the water was spraying everywhere and I fell back into the life raft. Alex closed the flaps to keep the water out so that we wouldn't sink. I had to know, though, and as soon as I could, I looked out again, and he was gone. The whole boat...everything...it was just gone."

Tears slide down his cheeks and Alice snuggles into his side, holding him tightly in her arms. I watch the two of them together, and I wish so much it was me and Edward. What I wouldn't give to be in her place right now, to have my one true love in my arms. But I don't.

"He loved you," I whisper.

"What?" Jasper says, sniffling a bit.

"He loved you," I say, my voice stronger and more firm. "He always said that if he could have chosen anyone to have as a brother, it would have been you."

"Bella, how do you..."

"I know, he told me. All you guys were so important to him; you were like his family. He would have done anything for you, and he did. I know that if he saw you in that life raft, and he knew what was gonna happen, he would have sacrificed himself for you. He would have given his own life to make sure that you got to come home to your family. He would have wanted that."

Everyone in the room is crying, even my dad, and Jasper breaks down in sobs. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I should have made him leave with me. It's all my fault."

I move to sit next to him, wrapping my arms around him. "You know that's not true. You know he never would have gotten off that boat until he knew every one of you was safe. You know that, Jasper. It's not your fault. This is what he would have wanted."

"No," he mumbles.

"Yes, he would have wanted you home with your son. He would have done everything in his power to make sure that Brandon has his daddy with him. He loved you so much, Jasper. You were his best friend; I know how much you meant to him."

Jasper sobs and cries, and I do, too. It feels good to get it out and to share my grief with someone else who's just as affected by this as I am. Jasper spent years alongside Edward on that boat, and other than his parents, I know no one loves him more than the two of us do.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, please," he chokes out, and I notice Rosalie leaves the room. Her shoulders are shaking, and Emmett quickly follows her. Alice and I do our best to soothe Jasper and to help him calm down. It's hard and I feel for him and all the weight he's carrying on his shoulders. It's not his fault, and I intend to make sure he knows that.

~*0*~

A month goes by and there's still no word. Every few days a piece from the ship will wash up on shore somewhere, and the Coast Guard will get a call. I check in with Tia every day, and she keeps me abreast of the latest news. None of it is what I want to hear, and I do my best to just keep breathing and moving. If I sit still for too long, my mind begins to wander. That's dangerous. It's a luxury that I can't afford anymore. Thinking about what my life might have been isn't an option for me. Now, all I can think about is today. I don't look forward...I live in the past, in my memories, and I do my best to forget my dreams.

As Christmas approaches, I'm not feeling well. I've been helping my dad with the last bits of his chemo and radiation therapies. Leah's pretty much taken over my shifts at the bar, and I feel bad for her. Her son is in school now, so she doesn't have to pay a babysitter anymore. It doesn't do much to alleviate my guilt, but I can't bring myself to do anything about it.

One day as I'm getting ready to leave for Forks to stay with my dad, she catches me. "Hey, can I talk to you?" she asks. I follow her outside, and even though it's December, the weather's not too cold. The sun is shining—which is a rare treat for this time of year—and we walk down to the beach and sit on a bench overlooking the water.

"Did Edward ever tell you about my fiancé?" she asks.

I shake my head. "No, he never told me."

She lets out a deep breath as she scrapes her fingernails against her palm.

"His name was Randall. He was a fisherman from Oregon. He moved here because he loved the water and he loved being out in the middle of the Pacific. It was his one true happiness. I like to think that maybe I was, too, but I know how much he loved it out there. We were together for a few years. I'd heard all the talk about getting involved with seasonal guys, but he was different. He worked on a boat contracted to the same company Edward worked for. They knew each other, and that's how I met Edward."

I'd always wondered what their relationship was and why they seemed so close, but I'd never asked. It just never felt right to do it, so I didn't.

"We were engaged—Randall and me. We were going to get married in the summer. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks before he left in November, and he was so excited, Bella. You should have seen his face," she says, and she lights up like I've never seen. She almost has a glow about her, and it's so beautiful; it takes my breath away.

"He left to go fish in the Philippines for the winter and spring. He was supposed to come back here in May sometime, which was good since Andy was due in June. He wanted to be here for the birth. I talked to him on April 27th, and everything was fine. They were heading out on a trip, and he said he'd call when he got back, but he never did."

Her story sounds so much like mine, and I wonder if our futures will be the same. Will I spend the rest of my life waiting and searching for answers? Will I ever get any? Can I possibly ever move on if I think there's even the slightest chance that Edward will come back?

"Typhoon Kujira hit. It was a category four typhoon. It killed a lot of people in the Philippines, and several went missing, too. Randall was part of that group. They found a couple of his crew mates' bodies washed up on shore, but there was never any sign of Randall. I waited and waited, hoping he would just show up, you know? Then the day Andy was born, it finally hit me that I was alone. He may never come back. Edward was always so good to us, through everything. He always checked on me and Andy, helped me with whatever we needed. Did you know he used to send me money every month?" Leah laughs and rolls her eyes.

"No, he never told me that."

"Yeah, he wouldn't. He said it was what Randall would have wanted him to do. He said he couldn't take the place of Andy's dad, but he could help me to make sure Andy had a good life. He was so good, Bella. Even when he was whoring around and refusing to let himself be tied to any one place, he was still so, so good to us. Every penny he ever sent went into a bank account for Andy's college education. I didn't tell Edward that, but it did."

I can't hold back my tears, and I wipe at my cheeks in an effort to keep them from consuming me, yet again.

"Edward used to ask around every year, to see if any of the guys who knew Randall had seen or heard anything. They never did, but he kept asking." Leah takes a deep breath, and then slowly lets it out. "It's hard to know when to move on, you know? Especially when there's nothing definite telling you that you should, or that you can. In the back of my mind I know that Randall's never coming back. Sometimes I swear I can feel him with me, and I know he's gone. But my heart? My heart won't believe it. My heart won't let me even look at another man the way I looked at Randall. My heart won't give up."

There's so much conflict on Leah's face. It's like she wants to give up and move on, but she can't do it. I wonder if I'll be the same way. If Edward never comes back, will I ever stop waiting?

"You know, sometimes I think it's a blessing that I remember him so clearly. I'm grateful that I can tell Andy about his dad and pass on so many stories and memories. Other times, I think it's a curse, and I ache for the day it will go away. To be stuck in this cycle, this never-ending circle that just spins you round and round, and never lets you get anywhere? It's hard, Bella. It's exhausting and frustrating and lonely. You know, I know I'll never love anyone else the way I love Randall—and I never want to—but the thought of being alone for the rest of my life...of never having anyone to come home to...it's slowly killing me. Yet, I'm powerless to do anything about it."

Reaching over, I take hold of Leah's hand, and squeeze it. "I'm so sorry, Leah. I didn't know."

She smiles a sad smile. "But you do now, and you know you're not alone in this, Bella. You have people around you who love you and support you, and you have someone here who knows exactly what you're going through. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone, Bella. Not ever. But I'm here for you, and I'll help you how ever I can. Don't forget that."

Leah hugs me tightly and we cry together. She knows the pain I'm dealing with and the life I'm facing. I'm sure in some ways she's reliving her own situation through me right now, and it must be so painful for her. The fact that she's here telling me all these things just goes to show what a strong, determined woman she is. I know I can learn a lot from her, even though they might not be lessons I really want to have in my life.

We walk back to the bar, and she tells me funny little stories about Edward and Randall, and how much fun they used to have together. They were competitive when it came to fishing and were always trying to one-up one another. She also tells me about a double date that she and Randall went on with Edward and some girl he was dating at the time. We laugh about how ditzy the girl was, and the fact that she wasn't even old enough to get into the club they were going to. It makes me smile to know that Edward was happy, and that he led a good and fun life before me. It also makes me sad about the pain he must have felt when Randall went missing.

"Be careful going to your dad's," Leah says when we reach the bar. "I'll see you in a few days, right?"

I nod. "Yeah, I'll be back. This is his final chemo session, so I want to be there with him."

I climb into my car and head for Forks, and my mind is heavy with all the things Leah told me. As each day passes, I lose a little more hope, and a little more faith. I don't ever want to lose them all together. I want to cling to them as long as I can, and I pray that someday Edward will come back to me.

~*0*~

Rose and I sit together in Doctor Hunter's office, waiting while my dad is seen and undergoes his treatment. We're talking a bit about Christmas, and she asks if I'll be staying in Washington, or if maybe I'll go home to visit my mom.

"I was planning to be here. Why?" I ask.

"I just thought you might need a break or something. I know you haven't seen your mom in a while, so I wondered if you'd want to spend the holiday with her."

"Nah, she's got a new boyfriend. I'm sure I'd just be in their way if I went there. I guess maybe I could go see Edward's parents. I do have that ticket to Jacksonville, and since I won't be going in February..."

It's just one more reminder of Edward being gone. There won't be any reason for me to make a special trip in February. I can use the ticket whenever I want to, now. It's an idea—going there for Christmas—and I decide to seriously consider it. They may want to be alone, but they may not. It might be good for all of us to be together.

Lately I've been spending a good deal of time with Jasper and Alice. I know it's helping all of us to deal with the situation, and somehow I feel comforted when I'm with Jasper. He tells me one day that Edward told him if anything ever happened, Jasper was supposed to take care of me. I try to laugh it off, but he's serious. He promises me right then and there that I will always be a part of his family, no matter what happens in the future. The idea of a polygamous marriage crosses my mind, and I shudder at the thought. Obviously, I've been spending too much time watching television and all the programs on TLC.

Jasper also tells me about his last week with Edward. He tells me what Edward said about our last fight, and how stressed Edward was. I didn't even realize it at the time, since I was so consumed with my dad's issues. Jasper tells me how Edward questioned if he would be enough for me. He says he had been fishing so long, he was afraid to be without it. He'd worked hard and carved out a name for himself in their world, and he just worried that without that title, he wouldn't be enough for me. It makes me laugh, since I was always the one thinking I wasn't enough for him.

Most importantly, Jasper tells me how much Edward loved me. Every day I see him, he tells me some little story about Edward being whipped by me, or Edward being lovesick over me. He tells me that Edward had told his boss we were married, and that if a man named Aro should ever contact me, I should act like we were. I love the idea of that, and I wonder why he told Aro he'd married me. Jasper's explanation makes sense, but part of me wonders if maybe Edward wanted that bond between us as badly as I did. As badly as I still do.

I babysit Brandon a lot for Jasper and Alice while they're both working. Shortly after recovering from his injuries, Jasper decided he wouldn't go back to fishing. Alice was thrilled with the decision, and I suggested he contact Mike about the position the plant had offered Edward. Lucky for Jasper, it was still open, and since they knew he had worked with Edward, they hired him on the spot. I'm happy for them, and I love seeing them move forward with their lives. They even decide that summer is too long to wait for their wedding, and they're getting married on New Year's Eve, instead. It will be a little bit of happiness in all our lives, and I think we need it.

As I'm sitting with Rose, discussing wedding details and certain dates that Alice needs us, something dawns on me.

"Oh no..." I softly say. My heart is pounding and my breaths grow short.

"Bella? What is it?" Rose asks.

I swallow deeply several times before looking up at her.

"Rose, I'm late."

"You're late for what? You have an appointment or something?" she asks.

"No, Rose. I'm late. As in, my period is late."

Her eyes grow wide. "Oh. Um, how late are you?"

I try to think back and it's hard to remember since the days have just flowed together, one after the other. "Uh, I think it was September, so like three months?" My hand moves to cover my mouth, and suddenly the way I've been feeling lately makes sense.

"Three months?" she nearly yells in the quiet room. "Are you sure?"

I just nod, remembering the one time we didn't use a condom. It also dawns on me that I was fighting a cold at the time and was taking some other medication. I wonder if it could have made my birth control pills void. I've heard of it happening to a lot of women, but I just never thought about it.

"Ah shit, what am I gonna do, Rose?" I ask her. I'm beginning to panic, and I don't know what I want to happen. Do I want to be pregnant? Do I not want to be? I don't know.

Rose grabs me by the shoulders and makes me face her. "First of all, we're going to get you tested. There's no need to think any more about it until we've done that. Once that's done, if you're not pregnant, then you'll just go on with your life like you've been doing, and you'll be fine." She smiles as she reaches up to brush my hair back over my shoulder.

"And if you are pregnant, then you'll have a little part of Edward with you always, and you'll be fine. We'll all help you, Bella. We'll all be a part of this with you, and we'll make sure this baby is happy and healthy and loved, and that he or she knows how much their daddy would have loved them. And they'll know how much their mommy loves them."

"Thank you, Rose. I didn't even think about it. Everything's been so messed up, it just never crossed my mind," I say as I wipe a fresh set of tears from my cheeks.

She smiles at me. "It's a little miracle in the middle of this big giant tragedy, and we'll make the very best that we possibly can out of it."

She hugs me, and I know that no matter what the test says, I'll be okay.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: So, now we know Leah's story. Was it what you thought? And Bella's late, huh? Interesting. And Jasper confirmed that Alice needs to go into business as a fortune teller. :D Poor Jasper, though. It always makes me sad in stories how so much focus is put on the missing or dead person's spouse, yet we never really think about how it affects their best friends, you know? Jasper and Edward have been together for a long time, first in the Coast Guard and then fishing. I think that's the part of the chapter that gets me the most – how guilty Jasper feels for leaving without his best friend. And knowing that Edward gave up everything to keep Jasper safe. Ugh...I'm crying again. :D**

**The amazing _Rose Arcadia_ made this story a beautiful banner. Ugh, it's so pretty and she's far, FAR too good to me. :) It's on her blog, and I also linked it in my facebook status and the beegurl13 fanfic secret group on facebook. If you wanna see it, find me. :) (Beegurl OneThree FanFickee )**

**Hang in there and we'll see you soon...**


	24. Chapter 24 Meadow

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #18 – Meadow  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a garden full of zucchini. Dang, I just picked 25 of them last week, and now I got at least that many more growing! The two I picked tonight – no joke – 2 feet long! Holy hannah...it's like we grow giant jumbo zucchini or something. :D But dang does it fry up all yummy... :)**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, HollettLA, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**I'm glad everyone liked Jasper so much. He's a good guy. Why else would he have been Edward's best friend? :)**

**And I have to give a huge, amazing, special thanks to _HollettLA_. She's fixing all my errors and making this so much better. She knows I have comma issues, and she seems to love me anyway. :D Plus she called me a "Dirty Whore" after reading this chapter. :D If that's not love, I don't know what is. :D**

***** Keep in mind, Edward disappeared in early November. The last chapter left off in early December. This chapter picks up kinda Winter and Spring-time-ish. Just read and keep an open mind. You'll figure it out. :) *****

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 24**

**~*0*~ Meadow ~*0*~**

As days pass by and time moves on, I start to forget things about Edward, and it scares me. It's only been a few months, but the other day I forgot if he loved or hated a certain movie. And then I couldn't remember if he gave me his favorite rock band t-shirt, or if I just took it. I don't want to forget, and in an effort to feel closer to him, I go to the one place I can think of that was his and mine, and where the only memories I have are of us together—Archawat Peak.

I know it's not exactly safe for me to go tracking through the forest on my own, but lately I don't really care about my safety. It doesn't matter to me anymore, and if something horrible were to happen...I might actually embrace it. It would be a welcomed change from the constant turmoil I seem to be living in. At least if that were to happen, maybe Edward and I would be together again.

Each time I get to the top of the mountain—which I've become rather skilled at climbing—I pull out my binoculars and I watch the blue water all around me. I can see the Pacific Ocean, as well as the Strait of Juan de Fuca, and I watch the boats sailing through the water. I remember when Edward told me that I should come here someday and watch for his boat. Maybe that's what I'm doing. Maybe I'm letting my imagination get the best of me and letting my quickly fading hope get a little boost with each visit. I need it. I feel like I'm drowning, and there's no way to stop.

It's a funny thing, the way life keeps going even though your world has stopped. It's like I sit and stare at all the activity happening around me and I want to scream at the top of my lungs, "Don't you know he's gone? Don't you know he's not coming back? Don't you know I'm dying here?" But the more I struggle and the more I watch, the faster things seem to move. I feel like the world is forgetting me, and it's forgetting Edward. I can't let that happen. I can't let myself forget Edward.

I've started talking to him while I sit on the top of this mountain. I feel like this is the place I'm closest to him—like maybe if he really is dead, then he'll be able to hear me because I'm so high...so close to him.

"Jasper and Alice got married a few days ago," I tell him. "It was really beautiful. Maybe you saw it. He left a place for you by his side. Emmett was a groomsman, but Jasper said that you would always be his Best Man, no matter what. I held Brandon during the ceremony. He's getting so big, Edward. He looks like Alice, but his eyes are all Jasper. And he looks at me with this look...this intensity. No baby should have that. It's like he knows things, Edward. I feel like he knows what his happiness has cost me—like he knows what I had to lose so that he can have the life he has."

I cry a lot when I'm here. Some days are easier than others, but every time I try to tell Edward something important to me. It might be something small, or it might be something big, but it's my time to talk to him and to tell him things. It makes me feel better, when nothing else will.

"I saw the doctor this morning. I'm not pregnant. I really hoped I would be, and now I don't know what to do. I'm so sad about it. How can you miss something you never even had? I wanted something from you, just some little part that I could keep. I guess it wasn't meant to be, huh? I know it was probably stupid, but the idea of it is the only thing that's gotten me through the last few weeks. The doctor said I was just stressed out and overwhelmed by everything going on. I guess he's right. I need a break from my life. I need something different—a change of some sort. I think I'm going to go see my mom for a few days. She's been asking me to come, so maybe I will. Rose asked me if I thought I'd leave for good, and I didn't know what to tell her. Without you here...I don't know. I see you everywhere I go. How long can I live like this?"

I watch the seasons change as the leaves on the trees come and go. Sometimes I wear a light jacket, sometimes I wear a heavy coat, and sometimes I wear just a long-sleeved shirt. The wind blows right through me, anyway. I don't even feel it anymore. Leah asks me where I go when I leave town, but I can't bring myself to tell her. I know she's worried. I've lost weight and I hardly eat anything anymore. I still work on the days I can manage it, but with everything so messed up in my life, there are some days I just can't look those sailors in the eyes and see their pity. They all knew Edward, and they know what happened, and they know I'm what he left behind. I'm the collateral damage left in the wake of his life. I can't bear that look on their faces.

"We got some bad news today. My dad's cancer isn't getting any better, and Doctor Hunter said it's at stage four now. It's terminal. It's just a matter of time. My dad doesn't want to leave me, especially not after all that's happened. I think he was excited about me maybe being pregnant. My Aunt Lillian told him. I didn't want him to know, but I was really glad to have him there when I found out I wasn't. He always seems to know just the thing to say, you know? He misses you, I can tell. And I know he was hoping to live long enough to see his first grandchild, but I guess that's not gonna happen. Not technically, anyway. If he can hold out a little longer, he'll see his almost-grandchild. Rose is pregnant. Finally. I'm so happy for her, and so sad for me. How is it possible to have such conflicting feelings at the same time? It's not fair, Edward. I know she deserves a baby more than I do, but I wanted one with you so much. Just one part of you for myself. Is that really too much to ask?"

Sometimes I bring our camping gear and I sleep in the meadow where Edward and I first camped together. It's comforting to see the sleeping bags that we made love in so many times and to see the tent that he always set up for me. Now I know how to do it, but I remember the way his arms moved and the way the muscles in his back shifted as he set it up. It makes me happy to think maybe that's a memory I won't ever forget.

"It's your birthday. I wonder if you're celebrating, wherever you are. I made a cake, a chocolate one. I know that was your favorite. I even got ice cream. Leah didn't know the occasion, but she was excited when she saw me baking. I know she thinks I was finally hungry enough to eat something. It wasn't that, but I didn't have the heart to tell her. I miss you, Edward. I miss the way you used to sing in the shower. I miss the way you used to glide your fingers up and down my back while we laid on the couch together. I miss the little mole on the back of your neck. I miss being able to kiss you, and to hold you, and to tell you how much I love you. I hope you know that, wherever you are. I'll wait for you forever, I swear. If you'll just come back to me. I'll wait. Please..."

As summer comes along and people are moving on with their lives, I wonder if I should, too. I've started spending time with Jessica more and more. She's pretty lonely. Her family didn't really approve of her keeping her baby, especially after Embry disappeared. She works in the cafe in Clallam Bay and lives in one of Mrs. Cope's apartments, so I see her a lot. I've started babysitting for her, and between her little girl, Emma, and Brandon, and Rose's baby, Lily, my apartment looks like Baby Gap threw up in it. I love it, though it reminds me of what I'll never have. It reminds me of what I dreamed about having with Edward. It's hard to take, but it's the only substitute I have.

"It's August. It's actually warm today. This whole week has been warm." I sigh, sniffling into my tissue. "My dad died yesterday. I wonder if you know that. I wonder if he's with you. Why can't I be with you? Now I have nothing here, not really. I don't know how long I can manage to stay here. My dad left me the bars, but I don't really want them. This place has no meaning in my life without you or him. I have to bury him on Saturday. I wish I had you standing by my side. I have to pick out a casket tomorrow. I don't know how to pick out a casket. It's not fair! I don't know what I'm doing, and I need you so damn much, Edward!" I let out my anger and frustration as I scream and cry. I'm so sad and so broken. How much more can I take? "The last thing he told me was to be happy, that I should live my life and make him proud. How the hell am I supposed to do that all on my own? I know at the end he was seeing things, because he saw my Grandma Swan who died when I was a little girl. I listened to him talking to her, and then right before he took his last breaths, he whispered my name. I heard it as clear as day, and he told me that he would find you and send you back to me. Is that even possible? Can you come back to me? I'll wait forever. Edward, please...please..."

~*0*~

It's September, and Leah and Rose have been bugging me about getting out of my apartment. They keep asking me to go places with them, but I just can't. Mrs. Cope talked to Jessica and me about moving on with our lives and about finding someone new to spend our time with. I think she was just hoping we'd go out with her grandsons, but neither of us is interested. It does make me wonder, though—am I ever going to be able to date anyone else? Will I ever feel that desire again?

One night as I'm working in the bar, Mike comes in. We sit and talk and he tells me how great Jasper's doing at the plant. The bosses really like him, and I'm happy for both him and Alice. He mentions a promotion that may take them to Port Angeles, which would be good for Alice's work, too. I'll miss getting to see them as often, but they need to move on with their lives. They can't sit stagnant with me. It wouldn't be right.

"Hey, Mike?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna go out on a date with me?"

Mike looks at me for several seconds with a puzzled look on his face. "Bella, I don't know if that's a good idea."

I let out a deep breath. "I just need a change, you know? And I want to know if I'm ever gonna be able to move on. I want to see if I can go out with another man and if I can feel anything for someone else. I still love Edward with every part of me, but how long can this last? I just need to know."

"Well, maybe we can go out, but as friends. Or maybe we can start as a date, but if you get uncomfortable at all, we go back to just friends. Does that sound okay?" he asks.

I nod. "Yeah, that would be great. Maybe this weekend?"

He smiles at me and shakes his head. "Yeah, this weekend is perfect."

And just like that I have a date. I'm moving on. I'm trying to take back a little piece of my life.

What I don't know is why it feels so wrong.

~*0*~

Mike and I go to dinner in Port Angeles. It's just some little seafood place, but it's not one I've ever been to before. The food is good, and it's easy being with Mike. I know he's hesitant to push me in any way, but as we walk from the restaurant to his car, I reach over and take his hand. The contact feels nice, but it's not right. It doesn't feel like it did when I held Edward's hand.

He asks me if I'd like to see a movie, and it sounds fun. I haven't seen one in so long, so I say yes. The theater has a lot of different screens and several movies to choose from. A few of them are romances, and I can't bring myself to see any of those. Instead we choose the only action/adventure movie in the bunch. It's something Edward probably would have loved, and I fight back tears the entire time we're watching it. Mike lets me lean my head on his shoulder during the part where the hero's best friend is killed. He asks if I want to leave, but I don't. I need to see this through. I need at least one victory in my life.

We're quiet on the way home, and when we get back to my apartment, we sit in the car for a few minutes.

"I had fun tonight," he says.

I nod, unable to say anything in return.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I think this was too soon for you. You shouldn't try to push yourself like this. It can't be healthy for you. Edward wouldn't want you to do that, Bella."

"Yeah, well Edward's not here, so I don't really care what he wants." I give up trying to keep back the tears, and I wipe them away from my cheeks as quickly as they fall.

"Bella, that's not true. You know this isn't his fault. He would never leave you like this if there was any other way. He would want you to be happy, Bella. Just like your dad wanted you to be happy. You just need some time, that's all. And you know what? If down the road, you want to try this again, just say so. But for now, I think we're better off just as friends. I don't want to ruin that."

"I know. I'm sorry, Mike. I thought this would help. I'm just so lost without him." Mike rubs my back as I hunch over and sob. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this to you tonight. I'm so sorry, Mike."

"Bella, don't. I know how hard this is for you. I'm your friend, and I care about you. You can trust me, okay? Just let it out, that's why I'm here."

He lets me cry on him and soak his shirt with my tears, then he walks me to my door and makes sure I'm settled in for the night. He really does take good care of me, and a part of me wishes that he had been enough for me from the start. If I'd been happy with him, I never would have met Edward. I could have been content with Mike at my side and never known the pain I'm feeling now. I wonder for a moment if it was worth it. Then I see the picture of Edward and me on my nightstand and I touch the locket around my neck, and I know it was worth it. Edward was worth it. He _is_ worth it.

~*0*~

I spend the day babysitting for Jessica while she works at the cafe. Emma is walking all over the place, and she loves music and dancing. We dance along to a little music DVD I bought for her to watch. Brandon loves it too, but he doesn't dance the way Emma does. She makes me laugh, and she makes my days so much better. I love the time I get to spend with her. Watching her is about the best part of my life right now, and I love that I get to see her so often.

It's the middle of October and the harbor master has called me a few times. The one-year anniversary of Edward's accident is coming up. Whenever there's a boating accident involving any sailors from Clallam Bay, their names are added to a monument that stands on the beach near the marina. If the sailors are killed and their bodies are recovered, their names are added right away. If they're missing at sea and no trace of them is ever found, their names are added after a year passes.

He's putting together a small ceremony and he wants my input on a few things. I know Embry's family will be there, and Edward's parents are flying in. Jared only had his sister in Seattle, and I know she can't come. It makes me sad to think of seeing Edward's name on the monument, but it will give me somewhere nearby where I can go to remember him. I don't go to the mountain as much anymore. I felt like it was holding me back and making it harder for me to get better. I depended on my time there so much, and I know I was withdrawing from the world around me. Now I let myself go once a month, but that's it. I make myself find other ways to remember Edward, and I try to focus on the positive things rather than the sadness and how much I miss him.

It's hard being in Clallam Bay with Edward and my dad both gone. I feel like I don't really have anything permanent holding me here. I know that if I ever do move on, it can't be with another fisherman. I need someone who's safe and dependable, and there aren't many men like that around here.

Jessica shows up about four o'clock to pick up Emma. She plops down on my couch and I can tell she's tired.

"Long day?" I ask with a smile.

"Oh man, we were swamped all day. I don't know what the deal was, but it's like every guy west of Port Angeles decided to stop in."

"Any of them cute?" I tease. Jessica's in a better place than I am. She wasn't in love with Embry. I know she misses him, and she misses the relationship that they had, but they were pretty much just friends when the accident happened.

"No, that's the worst part!" she laughs. "At least if one of them had been hot, I might have had a decent chance at getting laid sometime this century."

She makes me smile, and then I think about Edward.

"Don't you miss that, Bella?"

I look over at her. "Yeah, I do. Not in the way you think, though. I mean, now that I know what it is to be like that with someone you love, I don't think I could do the random thing again."

"You're lucky, Bella. At least you got to experience that kind of love. I don't know if I ever will."

"Jess, don't say that. You're young and there's a big world out there full of amazing guys. You'll find one, I know it."

She stares at me as though I've sprouted a third arm or something. "Bella, no one wants to date a woman with a kid. Trust me."

I just smile. "Some do, Jessica. You just gotta find him."

"No, what I just gotta do is get laid. Honestly, it's been over two years since I've seen any action. My last time was with Embry, and damn, I miss it."

I watch Emma as she plays with a little truck and some blocks. Sometimes it still hits me how much I wish I'd been pregnant last year when Edward disappeared.

"Don't you miss that? That raw, crazy, dirty, frantic sex? I don't mean all the lovey stuff, I mean the rushed, up against the wall kinda thing?"

A sigh escapes before I can stop it. "Yeah, sometimes I do. But I only miss it with Edward. I was with lots of other guys before him, but it was different with him. The way I felt about him...the way he would look at me sometimes...I don't think I could ever do that again with someone I didn't love."

Jessica smiles sadly at me. "Yeah, I know. I mean, I was only with Edward the one time, but fuck me, girl, it's not something you forget."

I throw a pillow at her and laugh. We've talked about her past with him. I'm over it. It was before me, and it was brief. I can't let a little history keep me from the friend I've made. And I won't let it keep me from Emma. I need both her and Jessica in my life. They just make things so much better.

"You know," she wiggles her eyebrows at me, "we could always hook up if you wanted."

"Shut up, whore," I laugh. "I don't swing that way anymore."

"Ah, damn it, I missed out!" We're both laughing hard when I hear a knock at the door.

Opening it, I'm surprised to find Mike standing there.

"Hey, Bella. I brought these tickets to the boat show for Leah. She said she wanted to take Andy, and the plant's got VIP passes. She's not working today?" he asks.

"Oh no, she already went home. I can give them to her tomorrow, though."

"Thanks," he says, looking across the room at Jessica.

"Oh, sorry. Mike, this is my friend Jessica Stanley, and this is her daughter Emma. Jessica, this is Mike Newton."

They exchange pleasantries, and I wonder if they've met before.

"I've seen you at the cafe," Mike says. "You work there, right?"

Jessica smiles. "Yeah, that's me."

Mike looks down at Emma, who is happily chewing on a block and swaying back and forth as she hums to herself.

"She's beautiful. You and her dad must be really proud of her."

Jessica's face falls a bit.

"Her dad is Embry, who fished with Edward," I tell him, and Mike's expression turns to one of horror.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I apologize."

Jessica just shakes her head. "That's okay. And I am proud of her. She's the best part of my life."

Mike smiles, and the way he's looking at Jessica and Emma, I get an idea.

"You know, Mike, I was thinking about something. You haven't been on a date in a while, right?"

"What?" he asks, looking embarrassed.

"Well, Jess and I were just talking about dating, and she was saying how she never gets to date anymore because men don't like women with kids."

"Bella!" Jessica whisper yells at me. It's too late, though. I'm doing what I want.

"That's not true. I know for myself, I love kids. It wouldn't matter to me if a woman had children or not," Mike says.

"I'm so glad you said that. I noticed that there's a new movie starting this weekend, and I'm sure Jessica would love to see it. Maybe Friday night, at say...six o'clock?" I tell him. Jessica is throwing me death glares from the other side of the room, and Mike is glancing back and forth between us.

"Oh, yeah? I saw a commercial for it, too, and it looks pretty good. Would you want to go, Jessica?" he asks.

"Um, well, I don't have anyone to watch Emma, so-"

"Yes, you do. I will. I'm not working Friday night, so I'll keep her for you. You guys go see the movie and go to dinner or something. I think you'll have a really good time. Trust me."

"Bella, I couldn't ask you to do that on your Friday night. Especially if you're off work," Jessica says.

"You're not asking me, I'm volunteering. Besides, Emma goes to bed at seven o'clock, so I'll still have my whole evening to myself. And you know I don't have anything going on."

Jessica looks at me, then looks at Mike, and then looks back at me. "You're really sure?" she asks.

"Positive."

She smiles at Mike. "I'd love to go out Friday night."

Mike's face breaks out in a big grin, and he nods. "Okay, Friday night at six. I'll pick you up here."

"Great, it's a date. So, we'll see you Friday night then," I tell Mike as I rush him out the door before either of them has a chance to change their mind.

Once he's gone, Jessica yells at me, and then starts to gush over how cute he is.

"Thank you, Bella. I'm really excited for this."

I just smile, feeling good about what I've done for my friends. "He's a good guy, and he deserves someone wonderful. He'll take care of you, I promise."

Jessica and Emma go home for the night, and as I crawl into bed at midnight, I smile at the good thing I did today. I think my dad and Edward would both have loved what I did, and I laugh for just a minute, thinking about them both.

It's one of the first times that I've thought of them without crying. It's a milestone in my progress, and I whisper an "I love you" to them both before I fall asleep.

~*0*~

It's the night before Halloween, and all week I've been feeling off. I've been trying to work as much as I can to give Leah a much deserved break. The season is drawing to a close, and a lot of boats are pulling out of port until next spring. Jessica and I are planning to take Emma trick-or-treating tomorrow night, and I'm actually excited for it. Her little ladybug costume is so cute, and I'm thrilled that Jessica invited me along.

I'm actually surprised that she didn't ask Mike. The two of them have been out a few times, and she told me after their last date that he finally kissed her. She said she saw stars, and she wondered if that's what it was like the first time Edward kissed me. I tried to remember back that far, and I didn't recall stars, exactly, but I told her it felt really good. Of course, then he fucked me against the door right after that first kiss. But I didn't tell her that part. There are some things that I keep just for me.

The night is pretty quiet, and by about eleven, the bar is cleared out. I doubt anyone will come in, and I debate over locking the door and heading to bed early, or staying open just a bit longer in case someone happens to stop by.

I'm in the stock room when I hear the little bell on the door chime, and I yell that I'll be right out. Hurrying down the hallway, I'm focused on the bottles in my arms and not really paying attention to who's waiting for me. I rush through the doorway and glance up and my world skids to a halt. The bottles in my arms fall to the ground, shattering and soaking me and the floor all around me. But I don't care.

"Edward?" I whisper, reaching up and covering my mouth with my hands.

His eyes stare into mine, and for a moment I wonder if it's just a Halloween prank that someone is playing, but then he moves. And he smiles this smile that I haven't seen in almost a year.

"Hi, baby," he says, and then my world goes black.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: And now you know why _HollettLA_ called me a "Dirty Whore" after reading this. :D**

**Thanks for trusting me. And for the amazing things you've all said. They make me cry. :)**

**See you soon...**


	25. Chapter 25 Cottage

**The Twilight Twenty-Five  
**

**Prompt: #7 – Cottage  
Pen Name: beegurl13  
Pairing/Main Character(s): Bella & Edward  
Rating: M**

**Photo prompts can be viewed here:  
/round-six/prompts**

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a special love for the song that inspired this story. My name kinda comes from it...and it will forever be one of my favorites. It's so totally the best girl name song ever recorded. :)**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, HollettLA, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, bugsmama07, Rose Arcadia _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :)**

**Boy you guys were glad to see Edward at the end of last chapter. :D I'm not sure why I'm even writing anything here. I know you're all dying to find out where the HECK he was for the past year! :D**

**~*0*~**

**Chapter 25**

**~*0*~ Cottage ~*0*~**

I'm warm and it smells good. My eyelids want to open, but I don't let them. In my mind, I'm happy. I'm at peace. I wonder if I'm dead, maybe. I'm just content and relaxed and so, so happy. I curl my shoulders in toward my chest and squeeze my legs together. It feels good and right, and I don't want to leave the darkness.

In my mind, Edward's here. It's like we're floating on air or water. I can feel him next to me. His arms are around me, and his breath fans out over my face. I can smell the ocean on his skin, and I know if I reach out, I can feel his soft hair in my fingers. This is what I've missed—what I've longed for—and I don't dare open my eyes and ruin it.

"Bella," I hear him say. I can't do anything more than mumble his name and emit whimpers of happiness. His fingers slide over my face and his voice comes closer. "Bella, baby, wake up."

"No. If I do, you'll leave." I press my lips together and squirm my way deeper into the warmth. As I do, I feel his hold on me tighten, and he welcomes me in. For a year, this is what I've missed the most. Just the feel of him. I've longed for it.

"Baby, wake up. It's okay, I'm here."

"No," I whisper, but a hand shakes me, nudging me out of my peace.

"Bella," he says over and over again. I whine and ask him to stop, but he doesn't. Then I feel something soft against my forehead. It feels like lips, and it reminds me of how Edward always used to kiss my forehead.

"Edward," I sigh. I'm with him, after all this time. I'm happy and I never want to leave.

"Baby, please wake up. Bella, please."

His voice sounds so sincere, and I want to do what he asks. I fight it, but soon my eyelids are winning, and as I squint in the soft light of the room, I see a body next to mine. Last I knew, I was in the bar, so why am I now lying on my bed? I recognize the scent of my laundry detergent and the feel of my bedspread. But who is with me? As I open my eyes wider, I see him. Edward.

"Edward?" I whisper, and his hand moves across my cheekbone, gliding over my skin and making me feel like I'm on fire.

"Yeah, it's me."

His eyes are exactly like I remember them. His hair is a little longer than I've seen before, and his skin is paler, but it's him. My arms are against his chest, and my hands reach out to touch him. I can feel the muscles under his shirt, but he's not as hard and wide as I remember.

"I don't understand. How did you...where did you come from?"

He smiles a sad smile and lets out a slow breath. "It's a long story. I think you should wake up a little more before I tell you."

He pulls away from me just a bit, and my body reacts. My fingers grab onto his shirt, and I'm pulling him back to me so hard that it startles him.

"Baby, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't leave. Please don't leave me again," I cry. I can feel my eyes welling up with tears, and my heart is in my throat. I can't lose him again. I won't survive it if I do.

"Bella, I'm not leaving. I'll go make us some coffee. You should change your clothes. Your jeans are still wet from the bottles you dropped right before you fainted. We're just lucky I caught you before you fell onto the glass."

I nod and sit up, keeping my eyes fixed on him as he stands from the bed. I'm afraid to let him out of my sight, but I watch as he walks to the kitchen and begins fiddling with the coffee maker. Making myself calm down a bit, I quickly grab some sweatpants and a t-shirt and change my clothes. When I come into the living room, he's standing in the kitchen with his back to me.

"You find everything okay?" I ask.

He turns and looks at me. "Yeah, it's all in the same places I remember. I think."

"I didn't move anything, so it should be."

He smiles at me, and I can tell he's nervous. "You're a lot thinner. Are you okay?" he asks. It makes me laugh out loud.

"No, I haven't been okay for the past year."

"Bella, I'm sorry about that fight before I left. We were both under so much stress, and I let things get to me. I shouldn't have. I never should have left the way I did, and I'll forever be sorry."

Watching him, I can see some of his old "tells" and I know he's being honest with me.

"Jasper explained a lot," I say, and I see his eyes light up.

"He's okay? Jasper made it back okay?" His body is almost vibrating, and I wonder if he has any idea of what we've been going through.

"Yeah, he's okay. He was hurt when they found him, but it wasn't serious. He was in a raft with Paul and Alex. They're okay, too."

Edward runs his hand through his hair, and I see his shoulders slouch just a bit. It's as if an actual weight has been lifted from him. "I'm so glad. I was so worried about them. I mean, the last time I saw Jasper, I was heading straight for his raft. I tried to turn to the right, but I didn't know if it was enough."

"He told me. Jasper told me what happened. And...Alice and I heard it as it was happening."

He looks at me for a moment. "You heard it? What do you mean?"

"Jake took Alice and me to the Coast Guard station in Sekiu, and they let us listen. She put your transmission on the speaker, and we heard you."

"Oh Bella, I'm sorry. It must have sounded really bad."

I nod. "Yeah, it did. I try not to think about it anymore, but sometimes the last thing you said to Tia runs through my head, and I don't want to forget that."

Edward shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot, looking down at his hands. "What did I say?"

I watch him closely, and I know something is off. "You told her to find me, and to tell me that you loved me and would wait for me. You said you wanted me to be happy."

He nods his head. "Oh, okay."

"Edward, what?"

He grabs two mugs and pours our coffee, then moves around to the sofa and urges me to sit down next to him.

"I don't remember the accident. Well, not all of it. I remember parts of it, but not much."

"Why is that? What happened to you?"

He plays with his cup, and I know he's stalling.

"It's okay, you can tell me anything," I say, reaching over to touch his arm and reassure him. I want to touch his thigh, be we haven't been together for a year. I don't know if he'll be comfortable with that intimate of a gesture.

"All of this isn't firsthand knowledge. Some of this stuff they told me, and then some I remembered after the fact. But, I guess we got into a pretty bad storm. The guys got in the life rafts, but I didn't go. I stayed on the boat to make sure they all got away okay. The waves were so high, Bella. I remember saying to myself that I'd never seen a storm take over so fast before."

"That's what Jasper said, too. He said it kind of came from nowhere, and by the time you guys realized how bad it was, it was too late."

Edward nods. "Yeah, that's what I remember. Um, so I saw the raft in front of the boat, and I turned into the waves. I don't remember much of that, but I know I saw a wall of water next to me, and then everything went fuzzy. I can kind of remember pulling on a suit and grabbing for the smaller raft, but everything was upside down and dark. I was fighting with the water and sliding all over the place. The boat was sinking, and I just knew if I wanted to live, I had to get out. I don't even know how I managed it, but I got myself into the raft and closed it up, and then I must have passed out."

"They looked for you. They spent a week searching, but they never found you. They only found the one raft."

Edward quickly looks up at me. "But there were two rafts. I remember there were two rafts."

He doesn't know. My eyes get watery and I place my coffee mug on the table in front of me. "There were two rafts. When the Coast Guard got to where you were, they only found one. They looked, but the storm was so bad, they couldn't find the other raft, or yours. A couple days later they found it among some of the debris. There was a suit inside, but Embry and Jared were missing. They've never been found."

Edward's face crumples. "What?" he asks, breathing hard. His hands start to shake, and I take his coffee from him and put it next to mine. "They haven't been found?" He's searching my eyes for answers, and it's breaking my heart to tell him what happened.

"No, they're missing. Still. All three of you were. We thought you were dead. We thought all of you were lost."

"No, not them," he says, tears filling his eyes. "I hoped they would get away okay. Oh shit, this is all my fault. I did this to them. I got them killed, Bella."

"No, Edward, it's not your fault. Just like it wasn't Jasper's fault that he didn't make you get off the boat. He was beside himself for months after you disappeared, thinking he was to blame. He thought he didn't do enough. But it wasn't his fault, and this isn't yours. It was an accident, that's all."

I move closer to him, pulling his head to my shoulder and trying to soothe him. He slowly calms down, but I know this is something that will weigh on him for a long, long time.

"What happened next? After you got in the raft?" I ask, trying to get him back to talking.

He sniffles a bit and clears his throat. "Um, apparently I drifted for a few days. The storm took me west toward Asia, and a Russian fishing boat picked me up. They didn't speak any English, and I guess the suit I was wearing didn't have any identification numbers on it. Neither did the raft. They didn't know where I was from, and I was unconscious, so I couldn't tell them. They took me to shore and to this little town they were from. There was a hospital there, and they kept me for about three months."

"Three months?" I ask. "Why?"

"I was unconscious for three months, Bella. When they found me, I was severely dehydrated, and I'd lost a lot of blood. There was a gash on my leg that was pretty bad. I was lucky I didn't bleed to death. And I was even luckier that the raft I was in didn't have any holes in it. I can only imagine what would have happened if I'd been leaving a trail of blood in the water as I drifted farther and farther out to sea."

I look closer at him, and I do notice some differences. Not just his chest muscles that felt a little smaller, and his coloring that seemed paler, but other things. I fight the urge to strip him of his clothes so that I can see all of him and make certain—with my own eyes—that he's really okay.

"They kept me there and nursed me back to health as best they could. Like I said, it was a small town, and they didn't know where I was from, so they didn't go looking to see if I was missing or anything. After I woke up, I couldn't remember anything. I didn't even know what my name was. I must have hit my head at some point, but I don't know. It was hard, and so frustrating, but they helped me get better, and stronger. After I woke up, I did two months of physical therapy. I had to learn a lot of things over again. Or, maybe not so much learn them as remind my brain how to do them. Like walking. It took me a couple of weeks to get that down. And speaking. That was another tough one. It didn't help that only a couple doctors and nurses spoke English, and they didn't work all the time."

I listen to what he's telling me, and the time frames that he was dealing with. I can't help but wonder where I was when all these things were happening to him. What was I doing when he was unconscious? Or when he was learning to walk again? Was I hiking our mountain and trying to be closer to him? All the while, he didn't even remember I existed?

"It was May when I was finally well enough to leave the hospital, but I didn't have anywhere to go. One of the guys who was on the boat that picked me up offered to let me stay with his family. It was just this little tiny cottage on the edge of town, and they didn't have much room, but they were so nice to me. He had a brother who spoke English, and I was able to talk to him. He spent hours quizzing me and trying to help me remember something. Anything. All day we'd talk and look at pictures, but nothing jogged my memory. About a month after going there, I started having these dreams. I saw these eyes, and they were so big and beautiful, and I knew they were important." He looks at me with such intensity in his gaze. "They were your eyes, Bella. I saw them every time I closed mine. Every night when I tried to sleep. Every time I sat and stared at the ocean. I always saw you. And then it wasn't just your eyes, it was your face, and then all of you. But I couldn't remember. It was driving me insane, Bella. I thought I was actually going crazy."

"Edward, I'm so sorry." My hands are holding his, and I'm sitting so close to him. He smells different, but the same. I just want to crawl into his lap and never leave, but I know I can't. I need to hear the rest of what happened to him.

"I went out on a boat one day with the guys I was staying with and all of a sudden I remembered things. I knew I could sail, and I remembered different times when I was on the water. Images of fishing kept flashing through my mind, but then there were ones of me and my dad when I was young, too. When the guys saw that I could sail and fish, they asked if I wanted to work with them. I still didn't have any idea of where I'd come from, and I didn't know if I ever would, so I said yes."

"You sailed with them? Weren't they trying to find out who you were? Weren't they searching the databases and trying to figure it out?" I'm almost angry that no one insisted on finding Edward's home and who he was. If only they had looked, they could have seen his picture and file, and he could have come home to me months ago.

"No, Bella. Like I said, it was a small town. A village, really. They figured I'd remember eventually, so they didn't pressure me. And I did start remembering. The fishing stuff was just the beginning."

His eyes light up, and I'm dying to hear what else might have happened to him.

"It was August and I'd been fishing with Demetri and his crew for a month or so. We docked in this city, and a bunch of the guys decided to hit up a stripper bar. I didn't really want to go, so I stayed on the boat. It was so calming, just the way the waves rocked back and forth. I was asleep, and I had this dream. It was dark and I couldn't see anything, but I could hear this voice. It was so clear, and I knew it. I didn't remember why I knew it, but I did. It kept calling to me and telling me to follow it."

His hands tighten around mine. As I watch him, I'm torn over how I should be feeling. I want nothing more than to welcome him back into my life with open arms, but I don't know where he's been, or who he's been with. What if he found someone else while he was away? If he didn't remember me, would he have stayed faithful to me? I know I should listen to the rest of his story since it will probably answer most of my questions, but I can't keep my mind from wandering. And he's so beautiful. The way his lips move while he's speaking and the way his eyes keep looking into mine... I wish he'd just stop talking and kiss me already.

"Bella?" he asks, pulling me out of my head.

"Sorry, I just..." I can't stop myself, and I lean forward and press my lips to his. He tastes exactly the same, and after a few seconds, I pull back. "Sorry. I missed that."

He smiles at me, his hand moving up to cup my cheek. "I did, too. Don't apologize."

"Okay, keep going," I tell him, and I pull my legs up under me in an effort to sit a little closer to him.

He watches me—his eyes moving over my face—and I feel like he's memorizing me. I hope I'm still what he wants.

"So, um...I was dreaming. And yeah, so I kept following this voice, and it was dark; I couldn't see anything. But I knew I could trust it. Like, I knew it was trying to help me, so I kept going. Then it was like I came around a corner or something, because there was all this light in front of me. I could see things all around me, but they didn't make any sense. I didn't recognize them. And then I saw you, the same way I'd been seeing you for months. Your eyes and your smile, and then your hair and your body, and I had this pain wash over me. I didn't even know who you were, but I missed you so much. It was like every piece of me was screaming out in agony. You just stood there looking at me and smiling, like you were waiting for me. And then you said my name, and it all came flooding back. I knew you."

I can't stop the smile that grows across my face. He missed me, even if he didn't realize it at the time. It sounds like it was almost instinctive. It makes my heart soar.

"That's when I recognized the voice. It was your dad, Bella. He was leading me to you. It's like he'd come to find me, and he brought me straight to you."

The emotions that hit me in that moment are powerful, and suddenly tears are streaming down my face. "My dad? My dad found you?" I whisper, unable to speak any louder.

"Bella, what?" Edward asks, and I can tell I'm scaring him with my reaction. Then I remember...he doesn't know about my dad. It's then that I realize he said this happened toward the end of August, and that makes my tears and sobs that much more intense.

"Bella please, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" he asks.

"It's my dad. My dad died in August."

Edward's brow furrows, and his mouth hangs open in shock. "Oh Bella, no. Oh baby," he says as he pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't here. Bella..."

I cry on his shoulder, letting my face press against his neck. It's something I never thought I'd get to do again, and I want to remember every second of it. Once my crying has slowed a bit, and I'm able to speak more clearly, I tell him what my dad told me.

"He said he'd find you. He said he'd send you back to me. When you first went missing, I begged him to make them search more, but he couldn't. So when he died, that's what he told me. That was the last thing he said before he passed away. I wanted to believe him, and now I know he did it. He sent you to me."

"He did. If it wasn't for him, I don't know if I would have remembered. I don't know how long it might have taken."

We sit together in silence for several minutes. I can hear Edward's heart beating in time with mine, and it calms me.

"After that dream, I knew I had to find you. I knew you were out there somewhere waiting for me, so I asked Demetri to help me. We started looking through different internet sites for missing people. I was hoping that maybe there would be something, and that's when he found my name and picture."

I nod, remembering how Jasper registered his information with several sites online. The Coast Guard added him to their site, but Jasper and I both spent hours and hours trying to find every other site we could. We figured the more places we could put him, the better chance there was that someone would know something.

"Once I knew where I'd come from, I started trying to figure out how to get back here. I hoped that you'd be here—that this is where you were. I fished for a couple more weeks and got enough money together to buy passage on a ship to Alaska. I felt like I needed to pay Demetri's family for all they'd done for me, so I left most of my earnings with them. When I got to Alaska, there were a few men who seemed to know who I was. I worked my way down the coast, hopping rides with different crews until I finally ended up in Vancouver. I waited for a few days, and then I found a guy who was going to Port Angeles, but he said he'd bring me here. That's how I got here. Once I hit the docks, it's like my body knew exactly where to go, and I started remembering more things."

I can feel his fingers pulling through my hair, over and over again. The sound of his voice is exactly what I need, and I sit quietly in his arms as I try to soak up every word.

"I stood outside and watched you through the windows for a while. It's been so long, I didn't know if you were still here. And I didn't know if you would even still want me. But I hoped you would."

"I waited. You promised me that you'd always come back for me, so I've been waiting. Missing you has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I knew you were worth it."

"Bella, can I stay with you?" he asks, causing me to pull back and look into his eyes. "I swear I'll never leave you again. I just want to be with you, forever, if you'll let me." His fingers wipe the tears from my cheeks as he stares at me.

How could I possibly tell him no? After everything I've gone through, I'll never tell him no.

"I don't have anything to offer you. My boat's probably in a million pieces at the bottom of the Pacific. I can't honor my fishing contracts anymore, and they're almost over, anyway. I have no job, I have no money, I have nothing to give you except my heart. It's yours anyway. It always has been."

"I want it. I want you. I don't care about anything else. I just want you here with me. Please, don't leave me again. If you do, I won't survive it."

He smiles a sweet, loving smile at me and takes my face in his hands. "I'll never leave you again. You're the only thing I want. I love you so much, Bella."

"I love you, too," I whisper as the tears begin again. He kisses me, and it's overwhelming. To be in his arms, and to have his lips on me...it's something I was beginning to think would never happen again. It's something I've missed and that I've ached for. It's the way I want to spend the rest of my life. It's perfect.

He kisses me over and over again, and as he continues, he gets bolder—moving his hands from my face to my back, then to my ass as he pulls me into his lap. My knees go on either side of him, and I'm straddling him as he continues to kiss me. His lips move to my neck, and I moan in pleasure as he sucks my skin into his mouth.

"Baby, we should slow down," he says. But I don't want to.

"No, keep going. Please. I want you, Edward."

My hands move to the hem of his shirt, and I pull up on it until he finally shifts and lets me remove it. There are scars on his shoulders, and my eyes move across them as my fingers touch them.

"What are these?" I ask, wanting him to tell me, but feeling certain I already know.

"They're from the accident," he whispers.

I slowly move my lips to each one, kissing them and getting familiar with each raised edge and shimmery white bulge. They're a part of him now, and I yearn to know each part—especially the new ones. They make him who he is, and I'll never get enough of him.

Things start to get more heated and intense between us, and just as I'm about to drag him into the bedroom, he stops. He's breathing so hard and his eyes are closed. I'm waiting for him to say something, or do something, but he just sits there underneath me.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I ask, my hands brushing across his cheeks. His stubble is growing in, and I can tell it's been a few days since he last shaved.

"I need to know something, and I don't wanna ask."

"Ask me," I whisper, my lips brushing across his cheekbone as I place soft kisses on his face.

"Has there been anyone else? I don't blame you if there has; I just wanted to know. I don't want to put you in a bad position if you've got someone else now."

My hands slide under his chin and I lift his face until his eyes meet mine. "Edward, there's no one but you. I couldn't even look at another man. I'm so hopelessly in love with you. You're it for me, baby."

The look of relief that flashes through his eyes is intense, and he grits his teeth as he breathes hard. "You're it for me, too. Not once did I ever think about any other woman. It was only you in my dreams, Bella. It will always be only you."

His arms wrap around me and our lips meet in a hard, lustful kiss. Before I know it, he's lifting me up and taking us into the bedroom. He holds me next to the bed before letting me stand in front of him. After a few more kisses, he rests his forehead against mine, and I marvel at how hard we're both breathing.

"Bella?" he asks so softly, that it sounds like a prayer on his tongue.

"Yes?"

"Marry me?"

I can't think, and I can't feel, and I can't move. I stare at him and my eyes fill with tears.

"Yes."

"Yeah?" he asks.

Silly man.

"Abso-fucking-lutely yes!"

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him against me, kissing him with all I have in me.

"Make love to me?" I whisper in his ear, and it's then that he finally begins to undress me. He's so familiar with my body, and he's done this a hundred times, but he goes so slowly. It feels like he's savoring each moment of this, and I love it.

"You're so beautiful," he says, his eyes shimmering in the soft light of our bedroom. "I don't remember a lot about this part of our life. Was it good?"

"You don't remember sex?" I ask, wondering if this is why he was so hesitant to do more than just kiss me.

"No. I haven't done anything that could trigger those memories yet."

My mind is racing with possibilities. Maybe if he doesn't remember me, he won't remember all the other women, either. Maybe I can bring back his memories of us, but only us. I know I'm greedy and selfish sometimes, but this is something that I might actually want.

"Don't worry. I'll show you. And it will all come back, I promise."

I let him finish undressing me, and I'm embarrassed by the plain white bra and panties I'm wearing. If I'd known I would be dressed in underwear in front of Edward tonight, I would have planned a little better. As if he can sense my discomfort, he smiles.

"I remember a few things now. Like this," he says as his fingers graze my left collarbone. "And this," as his finger slides from my right hip to my belly button. "And especially these," he says as his hands move to cup my breasts. His thumbs move over my nipples, causing them to harden for him. "I remember you in green panties and red ones, and even some lacy ones. You're so hot when you wear those, but I think these ones are my favorites."

I stifle a laugh. "But they're just plain old white. It's so boring; I could go change into something else if you want."

He smiles at me. "No, I like these. You know why?" I shake my head because I have no idea. "Because they're you. They're who you really are. They're steady and true and dependable. They're something other people might overlook in favor of something fancier, but not me. I know their true worth, their value. And the way they look against your skin... I'm so fucking hard for you, Bella."

I can see the bulge in his jeans, and my teeth dig into my lower lip as I squeeze my thighs together in an effort to fight back the sensations growing within me.

"Show me," I say.

I reach behind myself and undo my bra, letting it drop to the floor, then shimmy out of my panties. When I'm completely bare before him, I sit down on the bed, and then scoot back—laying myself out for him. I feel like the world's more amazing buffet, and the way he watches me with the hungry look in his eyes makes it all that much more perfect.

"Baby," he growls, and I smile and crook my finger at him.

"Don't make me wait anymore, Edward."

His pants and boxers fall to the floor, and he crawls to me—hovering over me. His kisses meet mine, and our hands are everywhere. We touch, and kiss, and lick, and stroke, and love. We make up for a whole year of missing things, and it's not until he's inside of me that we both stop and stare. When a tear slides from my eyes, Edward wipes it away.

"Am I hurting you?" he asks, but I shake my head.

"I've been waiting so long."

His kiss is sweet, loving, and tender, and as he rocks into me, I let the flood of tears go.

"Me too," he whispers.

He's back, and he's here, and he's mine. And I'll never let him go again.

~*0*~

I know it's morning, but it's still dark outside. I'm lying up against Edward—our legs tangled together. He smells so good, and I breathe in the tangy salt scent that I've missed so much. My fingers stretch over his chest, and I smile as I feel him breathing beneath me.

"Good morning," he whispers. His voice is rough with sleep, just the way I remember it always being first thing in the morning.

"Hi," I whisper in return, shifting so that I can look up at him. He looks happy and content, and I hope I look that way to him, too.

"Can I ask you a weird question?"

I giggle a bit. "Sure."

"Why do you have so much baby stuff here? Am I missing something...or someone?"

He's so cute, he makes me all tingly, and I let out a deep breath as I prop myself up on my elbow.

"Well, I babysit sometimes for Alice and Jasper, and Rose and Emmett had a baby, so sometimes I watch her. But, mainly I babysit Jessica and Embry's daughter, Emma. Jessica and I have become friends, and I help her out with the baby."

"You do? I don't really remember much about her—I mean Jessica. I know her, right?"

I debate over how much to tell him, and decide to just nod.

"Okay."

"Jessica's on her own here, and she needed help. I needed something to take my mind off missing you, and Emma does that. Plus, I kinda set Jessica up with Mike Newton. You remember him? He works at the fish plant?"

Edward thinks for a few moments and I can see the wheels turning in his mind. "I think so."

"Yeah, so I set them up together. He's good to her, and he's good to Emma."

"I'm glad. Embry would be glad for that."

We stay quiet, just watching each other.

"I need to call my parents," he says. It makes me smile.

"You need to call a few people. I think after you talk to them, you need to call Jasper."

"I will."

I brush my fingers through the hair just over his ears. It flips out and curls up a bit, and it makes me antsy to see him in a baseball cap again.

"Your parents are coming here next week," I tell him.

"What? Why?" he asks.

"There's a ceremony to add you, Jared, and Embry's names on the memorial at the beach. Your parents wanted to be here."

"Huh, looks like I got back just in time." He smiles at me, letting his hand trace up and down my arm.

"They've been here a few times this year. I went to see them in April, too."

"Really?" he says.

"You look surprised."

"I am. I thought they hated it here."

"No, they loved it. Well, they love it now, anyway. I think they kind of saw Brandon as the grandson they'd never have. And when we thought I might be pregnant, your mom flew right out."

Edward looks at me with a strange look in his eyes. "You thought you were pregnant?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah, after you left last year. I missed a couple of months, so I thought I was. I _hoped_ I was, but it was just stress from all that was happening."

His hand moves down my body to my stomach, and I feel him press his palm against the skin there. "You wanted a baby?"

"I wanted your baby."

When his eyes meet mine again, he smirks. "Do you still want my baby?"

I nod. "Yeah. I guess I probably should have mentioned I'm not on any birth control. There wasn't any reason to be, so I stopped it."

My heart starts to beat faster and my breathing picks up. He lifts up his body and rolls me onto my back. His hand stays glued to my stomach and his fingers tease my goose-bumped skin.

"I think we should work on that today, don't you?" he asks.

A smile grows across my face. It's one that I know I haven't smiled in almost a year's time.

"I need to call Leah and have her come work for me. I don't think I can serve liquor if I'm naked and having sex all day."

Edward laughs. I've missed hearing it, and as he begins to kiss my neck, my hand moves to grasp the locket that's laying on the bed under my neck, after sliding on its chain. I rub my fingers over it, feeling the name engraved in the back. I know the picture and the words that are inside of it, and as Edward pushes into me I look up at him.

"I love you," he whispers.

I smile as I reply. "Always."

**~*0*~**

**A/N: Thank you SOOOOO MUCH for staying with me through this story. :) ** **Trust me when I say that your kind words have made me cry and laugh and squeal for joy more times than you can imagine. :)**

**See you soon...**


	26. Epilogue

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a very grateful heart. Thank you all so much for reading this story, and for telling me your thoughts on it, and for being amazing to me, and especially for falling in love with these characters just the same way I did. I'm sad their tale has come to an end...like, really sad. :(**

**Thanks to my girlies – _EdwardsBloodType, Unchanged Affections, Twilight44, __goldentemptress, HollettLA, __ MaggieMay14, Luxure, bugsmama07, Rose Arcadia _and my fan fic wifey_ Mrs. Robward_. I love them more than I can possibly say. I'm a lucky girl… :) They all helped me in one way or another, and I'm truly blessed to have such an amazing group of women that I get to call my friends. Ugh...my heart... :)**

**I tried to take into account most of the outtakes everyone asked for and include them here, just so that you at least get a taste of the scenes you wanted. Plus, I thought they were important for these two. :)**

**Now, on with the show! :D**

**~*0*~**

**Epilogue**

**~*0*~ Five Years Later ~*0*~**

Sometimes it's interesting to look back on your life and see just how far you've come. When I moved to Washington, I never would have imagined living the life I have today. I never saw myself getting married. I never saw myself having a house full of children. I definitely never saw myself being blissfully happy in a sleepy little fishing town. But I am all of those things, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Edward and I stayed in bed most of his first day back, and then he called his parents. They were already planning to visit a week later, so neither of us were too surprised when they announced that they would change their tickets and come five days sooner. I knew Edward was anxious to see them—as they were to see him—so I was excited about their visit. Originally, it was supposed to be in honor of something sad and tragic, but instead it was a happy and joyful time. Seeing his parents greet him, and watching them all break down in tears, was something I'll never forget.

Another thing that will stay with me forever is seeing the look on Jasper's face when he saw Edward for the first time after nearly a year. Even Alice was surprised by how emotional her husband got, but it was really amazing to see their friendship displayed before us. After hugging and smiling and crying all over each other, they turned back into the "manly men" they thought they were. That is, until the evening was over and it was time for Jasper and Alice to go home. I almost suggested they have a sleepover after watching them both stall for almost an hour. Lucky for me, Brandon went into toddler meltdown mode and Jasper had no choice but to head home.

We attended the memorial on the beach for Embry and Jared, and it was a bittersweet moment for many of the people there. They were all saddened by the loss of two good, hard-working men, but happy about Edward's return. Edward and Jasper both spoke a little about their friends, and together they unveiled the names that were newly etched into the granite monument. We were able notify the harbor master of Edward's return, and luckily for us, his name hadn't been carved into the stone yet. After that day, every Sunday Edward visited the beach as a way to honor and remember his friends. The only Sunday he missed was one about eleven months after he returned. It was the Sunday our son was born.

When Edward's parents visited after his return, we knew that everyone important to us would be near. I called my mom and asked if she would come for a visit, and unbeknownst to all of them, Edward and I planned a small wedding ceremony. I bought a pretty white cotton dress to wear, and Edward bought a pair of dress pants, a white button-down shirt, and a dark blue tie. I'd never seen him so dressed up, which was probably a good thing. Every woman in the courthouse that day gaped at him as he walked by, and I didn't even care. His hand was firmly wrapped around mine, and I knew I had nothing to worry about. One older woman offered me a thumbs up and a little "you go, girl" when Edward stepped outside with his dad. It made me giggle, and I replied to her with, "Yeah, I'm banging that tonight." She laughed so hard that it made me giddy. When Edward returned, he looked curiously at me, but I just waved it off and told him I'd tell him later. And I did, late that night when he had me bent over our hotel dresser.

Life didn't go exactly perfect, but then it never really had been that way for us. We still argued, we still fought, we still got annoyed with each other. But at the end of the day, we knew there was no one else we would ever want to be with, and we would make up and go to bed happy and in love. We stayed in the apartment and I worked in the bar while Edward hunted around for a job nearby.

It was kind of like fate when Mike approached him and said that the plant was looking for someone to run their quality control department. The job consisted up of doing boat inspections and teaching fishing crews about proper fishing techniques. Edward thought it sounded a little boring at first, but once he got a chance to see what he would actually be doing, he practically begged them to hire him. It was perfect for him. He got to be on the water several days a week when he went out on short trips with the different fishing crews. He also got to talk about the local wildlife and pass on his years of fishing knowledge. Each day he came home happy and content, and I loved it.

We started trying to get pregnant that first morning he was back. We both knew we didn't want to wait, so why put off trying? It only took two months, and on Valentine's Day I gave him the news. He was the happiest I'd ever seen him, and in a rush, he called his parents to tell them the good news. They, too, were overjoyed, as were Jasper and Alice, and Emmett and Rose. I'm sure they would have preferred that he hadn't called to tell them at seven in the morning, but he was excited. They didn't blame him.

He worried about me working through my pregnancy, but there was never a problem. Things were great and the baby and I were healthy and happy. For years, the beginning of October had always been a sad time for me, because that's when Edward typically left Clallam Bay. Not that year. Our son was born early on a Sunday morning, and Edward was in love from the baby's first whimper and cry. Anthony Charles Cullen was sweet and happy and the spitting image of his father. Edward debated over naming him after his brother, uncertain of how his parents would feel, but ultimately the worry was for nothing. They were overjoyed about their grandson and visited as often as they could that first year.

During that time, Mrs. Cope took a fall and had to be admitted to a nursing home. She was getting older and couldn't really keep up with running her apartments anymore. Because of that, her nephew Garrett took them over for her. He was originally a rancher from Montana, and when he moved to Clallam Bay, he brought along with him his eleven-year-old daughter, Irina. His wife had died a few years earlier, and they were looking forward to a new start in life. The first time he came into the bar for a drink, I saw the way he looked at Leah. It was no big surprise to me when he asked her out a few days later.

I know that not everyone gets a happy ending to their life. Lots of people live with pain and loss, and nothing wonderful ever seems to come about. I live with things in my life that are sad and heartbreaking, but I choose not to let those things define me. I choose to embrace the good things and be happy. Leah chose to do that, too. Garrett would never be Randall, and Leah would never be Kate, Garrett's wife, but they were able to find companionship and happiness and peace with each other, which was something neither of them thought they would ever find again.

Things were going great for us. Edward was happy in his work, our friends and family were happy in their lives, and the bar was doing great business. That's why when Anthony was four months old, and I got sick, it worried me. It was like I couldn't function, and I was barely able to keep my head above water. It took a bit of convincing, but Edward finally got me to make a doctor's appointment, and I was shocked when he told me the reason for my condition. I was pregnant again. Edward and I were planning to wait until Anthony was a year old before we tried for another baby, but apparently our little boy was anxious to get to us. Just a few days after Anthony's first birthday, Fisher Jared Cullen was born. I was happy with my boys and our lives were amazing.

Edward hasn't ever remembered everything from his life before the accident. Luckily most of the women he dated fall into that category. Part of me wonders if it's just selective memory on his part, but another part hopes that it's just because none of them ever meant to him what I do. I'm okay with that.

I'm standing in the doorway of our little house. It's one of the larger ones in Clallam Bay, but it feels little to me because it's filled with so much love and so many children. Holding one-year-old Abigail in my arms, we watch as Edward and our boys work on the sailboat he just bought. It's his first boat since the accident, and it's a little older and run-down, but he's determined to fix it up and get it seaworthy again.

Four year old Anthony has proclaimed himself as Edward's first mate, leaving Fisher to be a lowly crewman. Abby and I are merely passengers in his eyes, and I stand still, listening to him order his three-year-old brother around. I laugh as I watch them together, noticing that Anthony's "little" brother is almost as big as he is.

"Daddy, am I in the stern or the bow?" Anthony asks for the fifth time.

"You're in the stern of the ship, buddy," Edward says patiently, smiling at his boys.

"Fisher, you're on the poor side, and I'm on the Star Wars side," Anthony says.

"What?" Edward laughs.

"That's the poor side, Daddy. Fisher hasta stay on the poor side. I want the Star Wars side for me, 'cause it's more funner."

I laugh as I hear his explanation, and I watch as Edward tries to compose himself before going into another sailing lesson with the boys.

"Well, Fisher is on the _port_ side, which is the left side of the boat. Remember we got that fancy red light to go on that side? And you, my first mate, are on the star_board_ side, which is the right side. Your side gets the green light that we bought. Remember?"

"Oh yeah!" Anthony laughs. "I'm gonna tell Grandpa when he gets here. He's gonna want to be on the side with me 'cause we have the light that matches with our eyes, huh, Daddy?"

Fisher seems to be entertained with whatever chore Edward has given him and doesn't seem to mind that there's no light to match his big, chocolate-brown eyes.

"Should we take these drinks out to Daddy and your brothers?" I ask Abby, and she smiles and babbles like she always does.

"Dadda-Dadda-Dadda!" she squeals, which makes me laugh, and causes our newest family member to nudge me just under my ribs.

"Oh Abby, I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to carry you around, big girl. This little one's gonna be needing some more room pretty soon, I think." Edward's dream of forming an all-Cullen sculling crew is well on its way to coming true, and I couldn't be happier about it.

I rub my hand over my ever-expanding belly and smile as Carlisle and Esme pull up. All it took was the call saying Fisher was on his way, and they packed up and moved back to Washington. They live in Sekiu, and we see them almost every day. They make our lives easier and fuller, and the children love having them so close.

Abby runs to Esme, who scoops her up as Carlisle makes his way over to my boys in their boat. I smile at how happy they all seem to be, and just as I start to turn back into the house to get another drink for Carlisle, I hear Edward call to me.

"Bella? Come here!"

"Hang on!" I yell, and then grab a fourth drink before walking across the yard to him.

"Whatcha think, Babe?" he asks. My boys are covered in paint dust from all the sanding they've been doing, and I can't hold back the giggle it brings when I see their bright smiles as they show me what they've done.

"This looks amazing! We're gonna be sailing in no time!"

"Yeah, Momma! We're sailors!" they both shout, and then I turn to my husband, who's leaning over the edge of the boat toward me.

"Baby, have I told you today that I love you?" he asks, making me blush.

"I think maybe once, but I probably need to hear it again..." I bat my eyelashes at him and smile.

He jumps out of the boat and pulls me against him, causing both of our sons to groan in protest. "I love you, Baby," he says just before he kisses me good and hard.

"Yay! Momma-Momma-Momma!" I hear Abby yelling as she claps from her grandmother's arms.

Edward told me once about what he used to call us. There is some sailing term that he used to describe us when we first met. Constant bearing, decreasing range—that's how he thought of us. It didn't make any sense to me until he told me the definition of it. It means two vessels set on a course that will cause them to crash. It's something unexpected that you don't usually see coming, and that you don't think will happen. That was definitely us all those years ago. Neither of us ever thought our lives would collide the way they did, and we certainly didn't expect the fallout that that crash caused. It was like destiny brought us together, setting us both on courses that would lead us to where we are today, and where we'll be forever.

And as Edward and I laugh along with our family, holding on to each other as we travel our true bearing, we know for certain that we're on the one course we were always destined to travel together.

Always.

**~*0*~**

**A/N: It's with a happy and tearful heart that I mark complete on this story. I cried and sobbed my way through most of it, and I'm so glad I was in such good company since a lot of you did, too. :) I based this story on the song that shares my name. _Brandy_. I know I said it before, but I love that song. :)**

**Thanks again! You've made the month of May one of the best ever for me, and I could not love you all more! I'll have something new out in about a week. It's a story I'm doing for FAGE4 and it's kinda drabble-ish and not too long, but I promise some angst and romance and maybe a sexy lemon...or twelve. Whatever happens to pop into my brain. We'll see. :D**

**Thanks! And see you soon...  
**


	27. Outtake 1 Future

**A/N: I don't own this. We all know who does. What I do own is a birthday, which is today. I figured what better way to celebrate than to let you all see what happens to our Fisherward and Barmaidella. :)**

**Hope you like it.**

**As always, thanks to my girls for all their help with this. I'm a lucky, lucky girl to have them. :)**

**This takes place a few months after the epilogue, in case you're wondering. :) The epilogue was about February or March, and this is July and then August. Hopefully that's pretty clear... :D**

**~*0*~ Outtake 1 - Future ~*0*~**

It's July and Edward's bound and determined to take our children camping. He wants to go to Archawat Peak, where we always used to go. I told him once how I used to go there when he was missing, and how much I loved it. I think it's perfect that we take our kids there now and let them experience it, too.

"Bella, I think we need a new tent," he yells to me from the garage. "And new sleeping bags. We need a lot of those."

Jenna's only two months old, and I'm sitting in the rocking chair from my father's house as I feed her and try to get her back to sleep.

"Bella, do we still have those old lanterns I bought before?" he shouts into the house.

He knows what I'm doing. It's not like I can yell back to him without waking our daughter.

"Bella, where are those chairs we used to have? I can't find them!"

Oh, for crap's sake...

I stand up and go to the garage door, pulling it open so that he can see his baby hungrily nursing away at my breast. "Seriously? Can you not see what I'm doing here?" I whisper yell at him. He's in the storage closet and he steps out to look at me.

"Oh, sorry."

Then I see more movement. It's Jasper... A look of horror washes over his face as he peeks out the door toward me, then quickly lowers his eyes to the floor.

"Ugh, hey, Bella."

"Oh fuck," I mumble. "Hi, Jasper," I say before slamming the door, which startles the baby and causes her to scream. Yeah, today's not a good day in the Cullen house. The only thing going right so far is that Esme has taken the three other kids for a "Crafts with Grandma" day. I love it when she does that. She and Carlisle have saved my sanity time and time again. As much as I love my mother, she's severely lacking in the grandparent-skills department. She's never even seen Abby or Jenna in real life. Whatever. She's got another new boyfriend—a baseball player this time. At least Edward's impressed.

Once Jenna's calmed down and is finally sleeping, I lay her in her cradle and go outside to see if I can help Edward with something.

"Oh babe, I'm sorry. I didn't know she was still awake," he apologizes.

"Yeah, it's fine."

I pull out the pad of paper and the pen that I brought with me and start making a list of all the things we'll need to get before our big camping trip. I notice that Jasper keeps himself busy, and as far away from me as he can. Great, he's embarrassed because he saw my tits. Ugh, it's not like he hasn't seen them before.

"Hey, Jasper, where's Alice today?" I ask him, hoping to ease him out of his discomfort.

"She's working. And Brandon and Max have swimming lessons this afternoon, so I think she's taking them to that."

Alice and Jasper moved to Port Angeles a few years ago. He got a promotion and was working there all the time. I know it was hard for Alice to leave Emmett and Rosalie in Forks, but it's only a little over an hour's drive between the two places, and she's adjusted to the separation pretty well.

"Hey, I thought maybe all of us could go up to the mountain another time this summer. You think that would be fun? Us, and Jasper and Alice, and Emmett and Rose, and Mike and Jessica? I think the kids would love it," Edward says with a big smile on his face.

I know the kids would think it was the best thing ever, and I wouldn't mind all my best friends being there, either.

"Yeah, we should ask Leah and Garrett. Irina might feel a little out of it, but I think Andy would enjoy it."

Edward is happy with my suggestion, and he moves back into the storage room to search for something else.

"Hey Jasper, it's okay, you know. I'm not worried about you seeing me or anything," I tell him. I watch as he flinches a little bit, and then starts to relax. Over the years I've gotten to know Jasper pretty well, and I'm getting decent at handling him when he gets like this. "It was a long time ago, and nothing really happened. Don't stress, okay?"

He lets a deep breath out. "Okay, I know. I just wonder sometimes if it makes you uncomfortable. I don't want that to happen."

"What to happen?" Edward asks, looking at us curiously.

"Oh, nothing. Just that night from the first year we were dating. You remember, before you guys left for Argentina," I remind Edward.

He smiles. "Oh yeah. I still can't believe I didn't remember that. But to be fair, I think if most guys were seeing things like that in their mind, they'd think it was just a really good dream, too."

That's another of Edward's memories that's hazy and isn't all there for him. I don't mind. Not that I'm ashamed of what Alice and I did, but just that we've moved so far beyond that kind of stuff now. When I think of my perfect fantasy night, it's always with just Edward. And maybe a bubble bath. And a babysitter to watch the kids. And we just might sleep more than we actually have sex. But that might just be the sleep deprivation talking.

~*0*~

Port Angeles Outfitters is still the best outdoors store around, and we make it a family affair by taking all the kids with us when we go looking for our camping supplies. Mike's parents still run it, and his dad gives the kids lolli-pops when he sees us walk through the doors. Edward's warmed up to Mike over the past few years, especially after seeing how well he treats Jessica and Emma. He knows that Embry would be grateful to Mike for being such a good dad to his little girl, and because of that, Edward and Mike have moved past whatever issues they had before.

Mike's mom runs over to see Jenna as soon as she spots me. I'm sure she could hear us before we walked through the door. Anthony and Fisher have been arguing all day over who should get the Transformer's sleeping bag they saw on-line. Part of me hopes that the store won't carry it. The other part of me hopes that they'll at least have two so that this fighting will end. Abby just wants a pink My Little Pony bag, which Edward has promised her he will find. The man may have signed his own death warrant with that promise.

I keep the kids with me while Edward hurries over to the lantern section. We need some new ones, and unfortunately, our boys and glass do not mix. This is why we need new lanterns. Luckily, the store just installed a new aquarium feature, and the kids are fascinated by the huge fish swimming through the floor to ceiling tank. Jenna starts to squirm a little bit, and it's as if she has a sixth sense or something, because just as she begins to fuss, I hear it.

"Edward Cullen!"

Tanya. Ah, shit.

Edward does remember her, though luckily for us all, he doesn't remember anything more than being very annoyed by her. She's still gorgeous, and she's still a nuisance. She even annoys Jessica, and Tanya actually likes Jessica.

I strain trying to hear the conversation that's taking place a few rows over.

"Hi, Tanya," Edward says, and I can hear the frustration in his voice.

Tanya works here now. She went to school to be some type of physical therapist, but after hitting on every doctor in town, and most of their patients, no one will hire her. Since her uncle feels sorry for her, he gave her a job. She's the only reason I hate coming to this store.

"Did you come in to see little ole' me?" Tanya coos to my husband. Skanky slut-bag.

"Oh, no. My family is going camping, and we just needed a few things. Speaking of them, I should go find them."

"Oh, Edward, hey I was gonna tell you, I'm having some friends over tomorrow night. You should come, it's gonna be fun," she says, and I hear her heels clacking on the cement floor as she follows my husband, who is obviously trying to get away from her.

"Sorry, Tanya, but I'll be home with my wife and kids. I doubt your party is too kid friendly, you know?" he says just before he rounds the corner.

I quickly turn back to the tank, trying not to seem as though I was eavesdropping. It's then that I realize Fisher is gone. I start looking all around us, but I don't see him. Anthony and Abby have their noses pressed up against the glass wall, but Fisher is no where to be found. I'm not too panicked, because he couldn't have gotten far, but he's a three-year-old little boy who is way more inquisitive than any three-year-old should be.

"Fisher?" I call out, and hear nothing. "Fisher Jared, where are you?"

I know Edward's got Anthony and Abby in his sight, so I push the basket with Jenna in it and move away from them, trying to find my son.

"Fisher? You'd better come out right now, little man," I call. Soon I make my way around the back of the fish tank and see a ladder next to the wall. At the very top of it I see a very familiar set of blue boat deck shoes and my heart almost stops.

"Fisher! Get down from there this instant!" I yell to him. He turns around and looks down at me with a big smile on his face.

"There's fishies in der, Momma. I's gonna feed them." I spot a bucket of what must be food next to him and his little hand scoops out the pellets and drops them into the water. Leaving Jenna in the basket parked next to the ladder, I quickly climb up it and snatch my little boy.

"You are too much like your father, do you know that?" I ask him before putting him inside the basket. "You almost gave me a heart attack. Besides, you could get into lots of trouble doing something like that. Don't you ever do that again, do you understand me?" I scold him as we walk back toward the front of the tank, where I left Edward and the other children. I'm hoping Tanya has scooted off somewhere, but she hasn't, and she's now clinging onto Edward's arm as she giggles and talks and causes him to turn green with disgust.

"Bella?" Edward calls out, then he notices the teary eyed little boy in the basket. "What happened?"

"Someone was trying to feed the fish...from a ladder that took him to the top of the tank."

"What?" he asks, looking up to see that the tank goes up to around ten feet high.

"Mom! All the fish are back there in the back! We can't see them no more!" Anthony yells. I wonder just how much food Fisher managed to dump into that tank before I found him. Hopefully nothing dies. I don't need to be responsible for a mass fish killing.

Edward calms Fisher down and lifts him into his arms. Tanya, who's still clueless as can be, looks at them.

"Oh, you're so sweet to help her with that little boy," she says.

Seriously? She can't be for real with this... Oh, damn it.

"Tanya, this is my son. These are my kids—my family. You remember Bella, right? My wife?" he asks, pointing to me. I wave at Tanya as she gapes at me.

"Her? That fat girl? You married her?" She looks back at Edward as I let her words sink into my head. "Is this a joke? I mean, really, Edward. If you didn't want to come to my party, you could have just said so. You didn't have to act like you married some fat lady and had a bunch of kids or something. I'm so sure, like you'd ever marry her."

With that, she turns around and walks off. I'm glad to see her go, but her words stay in my head.

"Ugh, I thought she'd never leave," Edward says. Apparently, he's unaware of the things she just said about me. Still holding Fisher in his arms, he picks up Abby and sets her inside the basket. "Let's go grab the stuff we need," he says, and I quietly follow him through the store as we collect all the items on our list.

The rest of the day passes by, and my mood doesn't lift. Tanya called me fat. Not once, but twice. And then she said that Edward would never marry someone like me. I'm secure in my marriage, but damn...postpartum depression is a bitch.

Edward can tell that something is off, but he doesn't know what. He offers to cook dinner and then to get the kids to bed, so I let him. I hide out in our bedroom until it's time to feed Jenna again, and once her tummy's full and she's asleep, I go into the bathroom and draw a bubble bath. As I wait for the tub to fill, I stand in front of the mirror and take a good, hard look at myself. Four babies in such a short period of time has been a little hard on my body. My stomach's not as flat as it once was. My breasts are bigger, but they sag more, too. Especially with the weight of milk from breastfeeding. My hips are wider than they were, and I've got stretch marks on parts of me that I never thought I'd have stretch marks on. My arms and thighs are a little flabbier, too, and when I turn around, I'm horrified by the size and shape of my ass. I guess that's what I get for spending so many hours rocking babies to sleep.

I feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and I hurry into the tub and try to calm myself down. I can't stop the sobs from coming, but I do my best to keep them quiet. I don't want to worry Edward. It's not his problem, and besides, I'm sure he knows all about how I look, and I'm sure he's even more disgusted with it than I am.

After several minutes, I hear the door open, and my sweet husband walks in with a cup of tea for me. He sees me and his face scrunches up with concern. The tea is placed on the counter and forgotten.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he asks, kneeling down next to the tub.

"Nothing, don't worry about it," I say, trying to wipe away the evidence of my breakdown, but only succeeding in giving myself a bubble mustache in the process.

"Bella, stop. I know it's not nothing. What's going on? Is it Tanya? You've been awfully quiet since we were at the store. Were you worried about Fisher running off? Honey, you know how he is. That won't be the last time he does that."

He's really trying to help me out, but I can't tell him. Instead, I just start to cry harder, which worries him even more.

"Baby, please, what is it?" he asks, letting his hand cup my cheek as he turns me to face him.

"I'm fat," I sob out. The words are mumbled, but I think he understands them. Without another word, he stands up and takes off his clothes. I don't know what he's doing until he steps into the tub and reaches for my hands. Thinking he's just going to re-situate us so that he can sit behind me, I stand. Then he pulls me in front of him so that we're both facing the mirror.

"Baby, you are not fat. How can you see what I see and say that?"

My eyes stay closed and tears are streaming down my cheeks. "Yes, I am. I'm not skinny like I used to be."

Edward lets out a deep breath and pulls my back against his chest. He whispers into my ear, and his warm breath fans across my neck. "Open your eyes, Bella. What do you see?" he asks. I can't bring myself to look up, because I already know what I see.

"No, please," I cry.

"Bella, what do you see in that mirror?" he asks again.

"I see my fat, okay? I'm fat, Edward. I told you, I don't look like I used to. I look disgusting and gross, and I don't know how you could love someone like me. Is that what you want to know?" I sob to him.

I feel his lips on my neck as he kisses me softly.

"You want to know what I see?" he asks.

I shake my head, because it doesn't really matter what he sees. All that matters is that other people think I'm fat and unworthy of him, and deep down I know they're right.

"I see the woman who I fell in love with. I see the love of my life right there," he says, slouching down as he places his chin on my shoulder. "I see beauty and sweetness and so much love. I see _you_, Bella."

I sniffle and look up, our eyes meeting in the mirror.

"What do you see when you see these arms?" he asks.

I lift them up and show him. "Fat. They're flabby—that's what I see."

His hands slide down the length of my arms as he lowers them back to my sides. "I see the two arms that rock my babies to sleep each night. I see the arms that hold my children when they're scared or hurt. I see the arms that are waiting for me to fall into at the end of every day."

He sees that?

"What do you see when you see these breasts?" he asks.

It almost makes me laugh that he uses the word breast. I didn't even know he knew that word. He only ever calls them boobs or tits, but breasts...wow, he's really reaching tonight.

"They're saggy and not as perky as they used to be," I softly say, as I sniffle and look away from the mirror.

"I see the nipples that my babies fed from, that gave them life. I see softness that I love to lay my head on at night. I see something real that I'll never, ever tire of holding and squeezing and sucking. Even when they leak milk all over me."

I can't help the laugh that comes from me. I'm still sniffling, but my husband is an amazing man.

"What about this, what do you see when you look at this stomach, Bella?" he asks, moving his hands to cover my belly.

"Fat," I whisper, unable to say anything more.

"I see the body that carried my children. I see the stomach that I spent hours and hours staring at and feeling, just in the hopes that one of my babies would kick or move so that I could see it, or feel it. I see the stomach that I've kissed endless amounts of times, both when there was a baby in it and when there wasn't. I see what's made us a family, Bella."

I lean my head back against his, looking into the mirror and staring at his face. His eyes are moving around, taking in my whole body, and surprisingly he doesn't seem as horrified as I thought he would be.

"And what about these hips, baby? What do you see there?"

"Edward..."

"I'll tell you what I see. I see curves that drive me crazy. I see shapes that I want to run my hands over, and my tongue over. I see places that I want to grab onto as I bend you over and push myself into you again and again. I see the hips and the ass that I can't stop watching. When you put on those dark blue jeans you have, I swear, baby, I'm instantly hard for you. I just want to rip them off and throw you on the floor and fuck you so good."

My heart begins to beat faster, and I can feel the blush creeping up my chest and toward my face. I can also feel a stirring against my lower back, and I know Edward's getting hard.

"When I look in that mirror, I see my wife. I see the other half of my soul. I see the mother of my children, and my future. I see everything I want for the rest of my life. I see us, Bella. I see happiness and forgiveness and love. I love you, Bella. Your body has changed since we've had children, but that's to be expected. The fact of the matter is that I love each and every one of those changes, and to hear you call them something as silly as fat...I don't understand. I don't understand how you can't see all the things I see. I mean, when you look at me, do you just see the bad things about my body?"

I laugh. "Edward, there's nothing bad about your body. You're perfect."

He smiles at me. "Bella, I have gray hair. And I'm starting to grow hair in places I shouldn't. And I have a gut, babe. And my ass? It's disappearing. I'm not some spring chicken anymore, baby. I'm getting old. I'm an old guy now. Some high school kid called me 'Mister' the other day. I'm old, Bella."

I turn around and wrap my arms around his neck. "No, you're perfect."

"So are you."

He kisses me so sweetly, and it starts to grow into something more heated and passionate. I move my lips to his neck and begin to suck and bite.

"Ugh, baby, this view is incredible," he says, and I feel his hands move to my ass and squeeze. "I love this butt, baby."

He makes me giggle, and I kiss him again.

After a few minutes, he sits down in the water, and then pulls me onto his lap. I'm straddling him, and it's not long until he's filling me and thrusting up. I worry about the water splashing over the edge, but then he bites down on my nipple and I cry out in ecstasy. The water and future mess is forgotten, and I ride him for all I'm worth.

It's not until we've both cum and are resting against each other that I laugh.

"What?" he asks.

"We forgot the condom again. You know this is how we got Jenna, right?"

He just smiles and holds me tighter.

"And you know how much I love Jenna, right?" he says, and instantly my world is righted.

**~*0*~ EPOV ~*0*~**

I love being outdoors. I love being with my family outdoors. I love being with my friends and my family outdoors. That's really the only part of my old life that I ever miss. I miss being out in the middle of the ocean with a boat full of my best friends, who I consider my brothers. I wouldn't trade what I have today for anything, but sometimes I miss it.

"Man, I don't know how you talked Jessica into coming up here. There's no way she's comfortable," Garrett says.

We're all sitting around a little campfire drinking as many beers as our wives will let us have. The kids are running wild in the meadow that we're camped right next to, and our wives are all sitting under an awning we put up for them. They're gossiping and painting their nails and talking about babies. I look around at the men sitting near me and I realize...we've got a lot of kids between us.

"She said she wanted to come. I tried to get her to stay home. She wouldn't even let me tell her doctor she was coming. I'm sure he would have told her that an eight-month-pregnant woman has no business being out in the middle of the forest," Mike laughs. "Emma and Trey wanted to come, too, and Jess wouldn't even think of missing it." Emma is seven, the same age as Brandon, and Trey just turned three. They keep Mike and Jessica busy, especially since she's got them enrolled in just about every activity possible.

We all laugh, and know that our wives would have done the same thing.

"You're not much better, Cullen. How did you talk Bella into bringing a three-month-old out here?" Jasper asks.

"We went camping last month, too, and Jenna was only two-months-old then. My wife's crazy, I guess. I don't know."

I know she's not, but sometimes she's a little out there.

"So, Rose and I were waiting to say anything, but I think it's safe now. We had a twelve-week check-up the other day. She's pregnant, and it's twins," Emmett says as a huge smile overtakes his face.

"The in vitro worked, huh?" Mike asks, and Emmett nods. Em and Rosalie have been trying for another baby since Lily was a year old, but in the past five years nothing's ever happened. They decided a year ago to try in vitro, and apparently it finally worked.

Jasper clears his throat. "Well, I guess I can tell you guys then... Alice is pregnant."

Emmett's eyes widen for a second, then he takes a deep breath and relaxes a bit. He's still Alice's big brother, and no matter how much he likes Jasper, he's still the guy banging Emmett's kid sister.

"That's great," I tell him, happy that they decided to have another baby. They've got two boys—Brandon, who's seven now, and Max, who is three. He and Fisher are the best of friends, which works out perfectly since Anthony follows Brandon around like a little lost puppy.

"So, when are you and Leah gonna add some little ones to your group?" Emmett asks Garrett.

He looks a little embarrassed by the question, and laughs as he answers. "We're working on it. But, you know, we're getting old. It's fine if it doesn't happen. We're just having fun trying."

I look around and wonder how we all got here. I never would have thought I'd have a life like this. I thought I'd always move from port to port and have a different woman every week. I'm a little relieved that I don't remember more than I do when it comes to my dating history and other women. I know Bella's relieved, too. Lucky for both of us, the vast majority of those women have moved on, and it's only every once in a great while that we run into someone from my past. So far, I've only remembered one or two of them.

I watch Bella as she smiles and holds Jenna. Just seeing her happy makes me happy.

"So, Edward, can you please tell me why on earth you named your daughter after a porn star?" Emmett asks.

Ugh, not this again.

"Look, I just liked the name, okay? I didn't even think about who else had it until Bella pulled up some of her videos online. Whatever. She's my little girl and she's never gonna do that kind of work, okay?"

The guys all look at me, trying to hold back their laughter.

"You're so screwed when your girls are old enough to date. You know this, right?" Mike asks.

"I've already started amassing my weapons arsenal. I figure as long as I add something new each year, I'll be pretty well stocked by the time Abby's twenty-five and able to date."

Jasper starts laughing uncontrollably. "Twenty-five? Seriously? You know Bella was twenty-five when she started dating you, right? Can you imagine what Charlie would have done to you if he'd known what you were doing to _his_ little girl?"

The question makes me shudder as I recall a few choice memories that I've worked very hard to recall. Like that first night when I walked her home and then had her against the bar door. From that very first time, she owned me. No matter how hard I might have tried to fight it, it was pointless.

I'm still lost in my thoughts when we hear the ladies start laughing and oohing and aahing over something. Looking over to where the kids are, I see something that chills me to the bone.

"Jasper..." I groan, hoping my friend will do something to save his son. I just might have to take him out.

"Oh, look how cute he is!" Alice squeals, and I watch in horror as three-year-old Max gives some flowers to my little Abby, then kisses her on the cheek. She's giggling and blushing, and I can just tell in that very moment...it's beginning.

The women seem to think it's all innocent and cute, but I know what's going through Max's mind when he looks at my Abby. I'm sure it's the same thing that goes through my mind when I look at her mother.

Bella walks over to me and sits on my lap, smiling brightly at my obvious discomfort.

"Aren't they so cute?" she asks, and we watch as Abby runs after Max, yelling for him to come back.

"No," I grumble.

"At least it's Jasper's son. You know Jasper."

"That's the problem," I tell her. "I know what a horn dog Jasper is, and I know what a kinky freakazoid Alice is. The fact is, most likely their son inherited both of their weird genes... That kid's not ever getting anywhere near our daughter."

Bella laughs and kisses me lightly. I wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her neck. Jenna squirms in her arms, and I pull her against my chest. Cuddling two of my favorite girls, I look out at all the good things in my life, and I'm grateful.

This isn't the life I thought I'd get.

It's so much better.

Just when I think I'll lose my mind to all the happiness I'm feeling, Bella's lips press against my ear.

"I'm late again."

**~*0*~**

**A/N: So...I gotta ask...how much do you want this Edward? :) I know if I could get one, I'd be moving to Washington tomorrow. :D Is it any wonder why Bella keeps getting knocked up by him? :D  
**

**Thanks for being so wonderful to me and for loving this story and these characters as much as I do. I'll miss them and I'll miss you, too. Don't be a stranger...I've got a few other stories, as well as the group on Facebook and I'm on Twitter, too. :) Say "Hi!" sometime. I'm usually good to say it back. :)**

**Now let's hope my hubs comes through with that Strawberry Pie I wanted for my birthday. There's a whole story behind it, but that's for another day. :)  
**

**Thanks... :)**


	28. Outtake 2 More Future

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an extreme need to see the first seven minutes of _Breaking Dawn Part 2_ that was shown at Comic Con this year. Seriously...how much longer until this flippin' movie is out, and I sob myself to a headache as it draws to an end? :D I'm so screwed. I need to start stocking up on tissues now. :D**

**Mistakes are all mine. As always. I'm used to it. You should hear how many mistakes I usually make at home. Just ask my hubs and kids, they'll tell you. :D**

**And now, for a little bit of Kinkward...one last time. :) This takes place a few months after Outtake One, just so you know. :)**

**~*0*~ Outtake 2 - More Future ~*0*~**

It's Christmas Eve and Bella's just finishing up with all the Santa gifts for the kids. I'm standing in the doorway looking into our living room, and I still can't believe this is my life. The way the tree sparkles, the stockings hanging just so over the mantle, the mountain of presents under and around the tree... If you'd told me ten years ago that someday this is where I'd be, I wouldn't have believed you.

But now that I'm here...and I know what it is...and who is in this house with me...it's all I'll ever want.

"I think that's it. All the kids in bed?" Bella asks, leaning against me and wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Yeah, finally asleep, too. Fisher was pretty excited, I thought he'd never nod off."

My boy, he loves Christmas. And this is a really big year for him. It's like now that he's four, he gets it. He knows what it's about. He's been to see Santa Claus, he's made Bella help him write a list, and he's frosted some cookies...this is a big night.

It's exciting, too. I love seeing the kids on Christmas morning, the way their eyes get wide and bright and huge. There's not much else that's better than that.

"I thought I'd give you your gift tonight," Bella whispers to me.

Okay, that might be better than seeing the kids on Christmas morning. Or maybe just different...yeah, different, but still so good.

"Oh yeah? What'd you get me?" I ask, smiling down at her. The look in her eyes has me hardening fast, and before I know it, she's gone, hurrying down the hall toward our bedroom.

Since she'll most likely need a minute, I lock up, turn lights off, make sure Santa's cookies are strategically hidden away and the milk is half gone. You know, all the dad duties.

"Edward?" I hear from down the hallway, and I'm there as fast as I can.

I notice the kid's bedroom doors closed, the light in the hallway dimmed, and my sexy, five month pregnant wife standing in our doorway.

The thing is red, and white, and see through, and holy shit...she's so hot.

"Merry Christmas, baby," she whispers, crooking her finger as she motions me toward her.

"Yes it is," I mumble under my breath. She just smiles as her teeth push into her plump, red bottom lip. Her lips always get this way when she's pregnant. Maybe that's why I keep knocking her up. Jenna won't even be a year old yet when this one is born. We didn't plan it, but I don't care. I want it.

And I'm just positive he's a boy. Bella doesn't want to know, doesn't want to find out, but I have a feeling. She looks like she did when she was pregnant with Anthony and Fisher. There's a boy in that belly, I can feel it in my bones.

But at the moment, there's something else my bone wants to feel, and as I stalk toward her, I get an idea. It's been a while since we got good and kinky. I think it's time again.

"Follow me," she says, taking a step toward the bedroom.

"Oh no, baby, you stay right there."

She pauses, her smile fading a bit.

I reach her, inhaling as I run my nose up her neck, cheek, temple, before burying my face in her hair and letting out a deep breath. I can feel her shake, quiver with excitement.

"I'm gonna fuck you so good against this wall, Bella," I tell her.

"Oh," she whimpers, her knees shaking a bit as I wrap my arm around her so that she doesn't slide down the wall to the floor.

"And you're gonna suck my cock deep and hard, you got that?" I say with as much authority as I can before pressing my teeth into the tender flesh on her neck.

"Yes, oh yes," she says. Her hands grab for my thighs, pulling me closer to her.

"On your knees, you naughty girl."

She slowly slides her face down my chest as she kneels on the floor, her mouth stopping just in front of my aching cock.

She's so good at this, at sucking me off. I'm always more than willing to return the favor, but tonight...I think she likes that I'm taking control. Her hands shake as she reaches for the button on my pants, then the zipper.

I slide my fingers into her hair as she lowers my jeans, then grabs the waistband of my boxers and pulls them down, too.

"See how hard you make me? How wet I am for you already?" I ask her. My dick weeps more as I watch her lick her lips as she stares at my length, her hand reaching up to wrap around me and pump.

It feels so good. After a few good tugs, I'm ready.

"Open. Let me feel your pretty little lips around me, baby," I tell her. And she does, taking me deep and slow. The groan that leaves my throat is desperate sounding. I'm desperate for her, so it's only right that I sound that way.

I push my hips forward a bit, until she's leaning back and her head is against the wall. She looks up at me with her big brown eyes, and I look down at her and see her chest heaving as she breathes harder.

"Hold on, baby," I whisper, then I begin to thrust. She takes me deeper with each stroke and her hands wrap around my thighs, her nose meeting my stomach. I'm so deep in her, I can feel her hum and swallow around my head, and I love it.

After a few minutes, her tongue swirling around me and over me, her hand caressing my balls, I pull out.

"Stand up, baby," I demand, pulling her up and ripping open her nightie, her tits falling out. I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her as I pull her up.

"Edward, my stomach," she says against my lips. I know she worries that it sticks out too much, that sex doesn't feel good for me.

She's crazy. Sex always feels good for me. And I don't mind a challenge.

"Wrap your legs around me, baby. Hold on tight," I mumble as I lift her, pinning her between my body and the wall. My hands are under her ass, holding her up, and I take a second to grab my cock and line it up with her waiting pussy. She's wet, I can tell, and I push in without any hesitance.

"Ahhhhh, Edward," she moans, her head falling back against the wall. Her arms wrap around my neck and I plunge deeper inside of her. Over and over again, I push and pull and she whimpers and moans.

"Touch yourself," I tell her, leaning back just a bit so that she can fit her hand between us. I know it's hard, with her belly protruding ever so slightly, but she manages. It won't take much, she's always so horny when she's pregnant, and I feel her fingers meet her clit. Excitement runs through me, and I pick up my pace, moving harder, quicker, deeper.

It feels amazing. She feels amazing.

I watch as her eyes roll back in her head, her fingers circling faster, her other hand grabbing tighter to my neck.

"Edward," she whispers, then lets go. I feel her walls tighten around me, and I close my eyes, remembering what she looked like the first time I saw her. What she felt like the first time I fucked her up against the door in the bar. The look in her eyes when she woke up in her bed after I found her again. And I'm exploding, falling over the edge along the fine line of sanity and ecstasy.

Only she can do this to me, make me feel this way, and I still, holding her tight to me. Then I lean forward, capturing her lips with mine. My tongue slips out, between her lips where it tangles with hers.

The moment is perfect, happy, hot...everything that she and I are together.

"I love you, baby," I whisper, smiling at her as I hold her in my arms, pressing her against the wall.

"I love you, too," she says as she smiles. "You ripped my outfit, I'll have you know." I can tell by the smile on her face, she's not too broken up about it.

"That just means you'll have to buy another one, huh?" I offer, earning me a bigger smile and a laugh.

"You're insatiable," she laughs.

"For you, Bella," I tell her, lifting my hand and tracing my fingers across her cheekbone as I stare into her beautiful eyes. "Only for you."

**~*0*~**

**A/N: And there you have it, one last look into our Fisherward and Barmaidella. I love these two, and I'll miss them. As much as I love them, I think I'm ready to let them go. They're happy, they're deliriously in love, they've got a house full of babies... I don't think it could get any better than that. :)**

**Thanks to everyone who read this story. Thanks to everyone who pimped and rec'd this story. Thanks to everyone who helped me with this story. Thanks to everyone who reviewed this story. I loved writing it, and I'm so happy that it connected with so many of you. That makes me feel wonderful. :)**

**Thanks for taking this journey with me. You've made it one I will never forget...**

_**beegurl13 **_


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